Hey pplz, thanx for the reviews, but I wont put up the next chapter if you
don't review!!! (Like you care anyway, you're probably hoping I don't put
up the next chapter coz it's so bizarre). Anyway, special thanx to Vicki,
Amanda and Teagan, three of my best buddies, for being in my story!!!
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(In Rivendell)
"Lady Amanda, you are most unjust. Will you not let me borrow you lipstick? Is it that hard to be a nice elf for a change?" asked Elrond, frustrated with his sister's selfishness. He knocked on the door again. No answer.
"I know you're in there! You just don't want me to find you doing something –"But he stopped as someone tapped him on the shoulder. He swivelled on the spot to see what it was, but it was too late. His head was already off his neck.
Lady Amanda stormed out of the bathroom 10 minutes later, still applying lipstick, and found his head on the floor. She peered at it for a moment, then said, "I'm sorry I don't lend my lipstick to dead people" Too blonde to figure what she had just said, she walked off to dinner with the twins.
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(In Rohan)
"Tomato sauce stains? As if! It was such a poopy stain!" yelled the cleaner. Eomer walked off, embarrassed. Poopy stains were so hard to cover up, even with excuses like tomato sauce. And no one was around when he did it, so what was all the fuss about?
He sat down under his favourite tree in the Rohan wilderness, thinking about all the murders that had gone on since the day Legolas died. Then it was Aragorn, then Elrond. They'd killed all the royals – was he next? Oh yes. Little did Eomer know that he was being watched by the evil killer fairies of Gponpewofnland...
"Ok, here's the plan. We wait till he falls asleep, then we kill him. It could look like and accident! "whispered the chief fairy, by the name of Vicki.
"But Vicki, how would you kill yourself in your sleep?" asked the secretary Teagan.
"Ummm...y'dunno. Oh well, who cares, let's just kill the idiot before he gets away!" replied Vicki, leaving Teagan very confused. She gave the signal, then –
"AAAAARGH" and Eomer's chest had a butter knife through it, and his hair was smeared with peanut butter.
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(In Rivendell)
"Since your dad is like...dead, and like I'm like your auntie...like that makes me queen!!!!!" pronounced Lady Amanda at the dinner table.
Elrohir and Elladan were confused – weren't they the heirs to the throne?
"Let's check his will, I'm sure we're the heirs," replied Elladan snappily. He grabbed for the parchment scroll on the mantelpiece, which read:
I hereby pronounce all these things yours dear friends:
Mummy – my purple dress with the pink flowers on it. Daddy – my 'How to Tie Elven Knots' book and my ring Nenya. Amanda – my entire make-up collection. Elladan – my weapons. Elrohir – my furniture. Aragorn – my library, which mainly focuses on Elvish fashion. Arwen – the kingdom.
"WHAT? SHE CAN'T HAVE THE KINGDOM! SHE'S ALREADY GOT HER OWN STUPID STONE PALACE!" roared Elladan, fuming at his father's decision. He grabbed his mobile and furiously dialled Arwen's number.
"ARWEN? Good. You know Ada has left you Rivendell in his will? Uh-huh. Yep. Cool – WHAT? YOU CAN'T LET HER DO THAT? Oh but please, I really want it! Please??? Fine, be that way!" Elladan hung up the phone, looking as if he'd just run the elf marathon.
"Well, you got your way at least!" he said sniffily to Amanda. She looked up in excitement. She was going to rule Rivendell!!! Finally, she could get rid of the twins! Finally, after all those long years she could ponce around in her underwear without anyone seeing her! Aah, sheer bliss was a fantastic thing...
(In Rivendell)
"Lady Amanda, you are most unjust. Will you not let me borrow you lipstick? Is it that hard to be a nice elf for a change?" asked Elrond, frustrated with his sister's selfishness. He knocked on the door again. No answer.
"I know you're in there! You just don't want me to find you doing something –"But he stopped as someone tapped him on the shoulder. He swivelled on the spot to see what it was, but it was too late. His head was already off his neck.
Lady Amanda stormed out of the bathroom 10 minutes later, still applying lipstick, and found his head on the floor. She peered at it for a moment, then said, "I'm sorry I don't lend my lipstick to dead people" Too blonde to figure what she had just said, she walked off to dinner with the twins.
--------
(In Rohan)
"Tomato sauce stains? As if! It was such a poopy stain!" yelled the cleaner. Eomer walked off, embarrassed. Poopy stains were so hard to cover up, even with excuses like tomato sauce. And no one was around when he did it, so what was all the fuss about?
He sat down under his favourite tree in the Rohan wilderness, thinking about all the murders that had gone on since the day Legolas died. Then it was Aragorn, then Elrond. They'd killed all the royals – was he next? Oh yes. Little did Eomer know that he was being watched by the evil killer fairies of Gponpewofnland...
"Ok, here's the plan. We wait till he falls asleep, then we kill him. It could look like and accident! "whispered the chief fairy, by the name of Vicki.
"But Vicki, how would you kill yourself in your sleep?" asked the secretary Teagan.
"Ummm...y'dunno. Oh well, who cares, let's just kill the idiot before he gets away!" replied Vicki, leaving Teagan very confused. She gave the signal, then –
"AAAAARGH" and Eomer's chest had a butter knife through it, and his hair was smeared with peanut butter.
--------
(In Rivendell)
"Since your dad is like...dead, and like I'm like your auntie...like that makes me queen!!!!!" pronounced Lady Amanda at the dinner table.
Elrohir and Elladan were confused – weren't they the heirs to the throne?
"Let's check his will, I'm sure we're the heirs," replied Elladan snappily. He grabbed for the parchment scroll on the mantelpiece, which read:
I hereby pronounce all these things yours dear friends:
Mummy – my purple dress with the pink flowers on it. Daddy – my 'How to Tie Elven Knots' book and my ring Nenya. Amanda – my entire make-up collection. Elladan – my weapons. Elrohir – my furniture. Aragorn – my library, which mainly focuses on Elvish fashion. Arwen – the kingdom.
"WHAT? SHE CAN'T HAVE THE KINGDOM! SHE'S ALREADY GOT HER OWN STUPID STONE PALACE!" roared Elladan, fuming at his father's decision. He grabbed his mobile and furiously dialled Arwen's number.
"ARWEN? Good. You know Ada has left you Rivendell in his will? Uh-huh. Yep. Cool – WHAT? YOU CAN'T LET HER DO THAT? Oh but please, I really want it! Please??? Fine, be that way!" Elladan hung up the phone, looking as if he'd just run the elf marathon.
"Well, you got your way at least!" he said sniffily to Amanda. She looked up in excitement. She was going to rule Rivendell!!! Finally, she could get rid of the twins! Finally, after all those long years she could ponce around in her underwear without anyone seeing her! Aah, sheer bliss was a fantastic thing...