{Ok. Hey, all. ^_^ Well....welcome to my fic. :D I know several people on this website, and they're probably going to be the only ones to read this, but just in case they aren't, I'd like to let you know a couple of things. This is -meant- to be comedic, even if it isn't. XD XD XD ....or at least, it is later. The beginning isn't so funny, I suppose.

On reviews: I'd love them. I appreciate honest reviews, but I'd like it if they were either praise or -constructive- criticism. Not total You suckism, thank you. XD For more on my views on reviews, check my profile. :P :)

And, this is a parody-ish-thing of What Women Want. So. If you don't like that movie, or you think that story has been done over too many times, then don't read this. ^.^ Oh...and it won't be through and through. Just the whole idea of the thing.

Anywho. -None- of these characters belong to me, and none of them ever will. ::sighs:: Don't I wish I could have them. ;_;

o.o; And by the way. I published this last night, and I know now have five reviews. Well....all I can say is, thanks you guys. ^-^ I'll say more to you next chapter...}

I know something you don't knooooow, Nabiki sang, walking into the dining room of the Tendo household.

Ranma looked up at her, mouth full of potato chips. He slowly swallowed them, and stared suspiciously at Nabiki. And what might that be? he asked slowly.

Nabiki gave Ranma a devilish smile, and held out her hand.

Ranma glared at her. Forget it, Nabiki. Why would I care anyway? He looked away from her, closed his eyes, and crossed his arms, a determined, haughty look on his face.

Nabiki shrugged, and drew out her words she said, Welllll.....okaaaaay. If you're suuure. But, you know, here there was a large dramatic pause, it -does- involve Akane. At this point, she slowly began sauntering out of the room.

Ranma's lip twitched. Thoughts were running through his head at 100 mph. Okay, so, it could be completely useless information. Like that Akane beat up Kuno again, or she tried and failed miserably to make a doll in Home Economics. But then again, what if this is actually something important? What if Akane decided to move to China? Or she went to the hot springs with...uh...Kuno? Or or or... Hm...what could be worse than that? Ah, he knew. ...what if she's trying to cook something for dinner? Ranma gave an obvious shudder at that. It wasn't worth the risk. Nabiki, wait, he said with a sigh.

A playful grin on her face, Nabiki paused in the door frame. she asked slowly.

Name your price. He lowered his head, a defeated look on his face, but still sitting with his arms crossed.

Nabiki ambled over to the table and stuck her hand in Ranma's face. 500 yen.

Ranma, unsure of how he kept managing to get all this money, opened his eyes, reached into his pocket, and pulled out a hand full of coins. He counted out 500 yen, and handed it unhappily over to Nabiki before jamming the rest back into his pocket.

Nabiki smiled sagely, and pocketed the coins. Here's your info. Akane went over to Ryouga's. Then she turned and strode quickly out of the room, not feeling in the mood to be around when Ranma spazzed out.

Ranma sat for a moment, and just sizzled, looking angry and rather like a five-year-old who had screamed and screamed but still was being forced to eat his brussel sprouts.

Now, normally, Ranma would've gone after the two and would've pretended he was Ryouga's long lost girlfriend or his fiancee. And actually, he was just about to jump up, splash himself, and throw on a dress and a wig.

But at that moment, Akane walked in the back door. Hi, Ranma, she said with a rarely seen smile.

Ranma glared at her. Oh, hi, Akane, he told her in a very doom-ish voice.

Akane automatically glared back. What's with the tone? she asked, annoyed.

Oh, nothing. I mean, I'm not allowed to see Ukyou or Shampoo for -anything-, but I suppose you seeing other guys doesn't really matter.

Akane suddenly looked quite exasperated. Oh, give me a break, Ranma! she snapped. I was just at Ryouga's so I could visit Checkers! Besides, Ryouga's -nice- to me, unlike -some- people! She paused, and then said, Wait. How did you know I went over to Ryouga's, anyway? HAVE YOU BEEN SPYING ON ME!?

Any sensible person would've apologized profusely at this point, and then backed out of the room, bowing many times while continuing to apologize. Ranma, however, stood up and yelled, What, are you KIDDING ME!? Spy on a macho chick like YOU!? NO WAY!

Oh? THEN HOW'D YOU FIND OUT!?

NONE OF YOUR BEESWAX!!!

IT IS -SO- MY BEESWAX!

IS NOT!

IS TOO!









MACHO CHICK!

With this last and final insult, Akane grabbed the table, lifted it high over her head, and brought it crashing down on Ranma's.

At that moment, thunder rumbled in the distance, and it began to rain.

Ranma was crushed under the table, and had, as usual, passed out.

~~~

Honestly. That idiot. If he didn't provoke me so much, I wouldn't do things like this, came Akane's voice through the darkness.

Ranma stirred slightly, and rolled over.

Inconsiderate jerk. Don't know why I care whether he's all right or not anyway.

Ranma opened his eyes, and stared blearily over at his fiancee. He realized he was laid out on the couch, and Akane was sitting in an armchair not too far away and looking uncomfortable.

he asked, in a daze.

Akane looked sharply up. Oh. Hi, Ranma, she said unenthusiastically. Oh, good. He's okay, she added.

Ranma blinked. Well...those two emotions...didn't really go together. And it looked like she hadn't moved her lips when she said he was okay. He rubbed his eyes hard, and sat up slowly. Ngh. Why d'you always have to use the table? he snapped, annoyed.

Akane glowered at him. I wouldn't if you didn't call me names all the time, Jerk!

Ranma glowered back. Oh? Look who's calling who names! he snapped, rubbing his eyes again, as it was quite obvious this time that Akane's lips hadn't moved.

Akane suddenly looked puzzled.

You just called me a jerk, didn't you?

she told him slowly, raising her eyebrow. Maybe I hit him a little harder than I thought.

Ranma blinked, confused.

It was at that moment Shampoo crashed through the wall of the Tendo household. Nihao, Ranma! Nihao, Akane! she said with a grin. Shampoo bring delivery from Cat Cafe! She looked at Ranma, and her grin widened.

Ranma's eyes grew wide, and he stared at Shampoo, shocked for a moment. Then he leapt up and ran screaming from the room.

Shampoo blinked, puzzled. Is something Shampoo say?

Actually, it was something Shampoo thought. But none of them knew that was the case at the moment. ;)

{Well. As I said, I have five pretty kind and pretty honest reviews, so I suppose I'll be continuing. ^_^

And as for Shampoo's thoughts? Well, it wasn't anything -too- bad, ok? Just remember: Ranma isn't really the romantic type. So it's not as naughty as it sounded. ::prod::

And remember when you review that I'm fourteen-years-old. And I have feelings. ::fear:: ::is uberly paranoid:: Right...

...so, anyway, hope you liked it. ^_^ Eh heh. ^_____^}