Chapter 3
It's impossible to get a completely peaceful sleep at Balamb. I don't know why I try anymore. The announcement system came to life in the morning, much earlier than I would have ever cared to hear from it.
"Um, is this thing on? Could Commander Leonhart kinda come to the office? If it's not too much trouble and he's not too busy? Um, thanks!" There was some rattling of papers. "Cruds, is this thing off even? Hello? Oh, man, it's on! Which button turns it off?!? Sorry, guys! Is it this one?" there was a click as she finally turned it off.
…Not the way I would have chosen to wake up in the morning. I smacked my forehead, rolling out of bed and wondering if that was how I would wake up every morning for the rest of my life. I went to the office, hoping she hadn't tried to page me again.
She stood in the office, pacing around nervously. She saluted me as I entered.
"Ready to report, sir," she nodded.
"At ease!" I said, exasperated. "Go ahead."
"The GFs Alexander and Cerberus have pretty much flattened Winhill," she said as she stepped into the at-ease position. "Um, I've got the death/injury count around here somewhere if you're interested in that..." she trailed off. "We probably ought to do something before the other cities end up like this one. Also, Cid and Martine had Galbadia Garden fly to Esthar today...we needed more supplies...it's back now, anyways, but it was attacked by about three GFs on the way up there. Nobody ever figured out which ones they were or anything, though. The Garden got damaged a little, but it's okay. Um..." she paused, thinking intently. "I think that's it as for that happened last night..."
I frowned. "So much damage already... I want to go examine Winhill."
I knew that that was where Laguna and Raine used to live, and I didn't know if Laguna was still there or not. I don't know why I was so afraid for him... he drove me up the wall and he was a moron, but still...
"When I do, which'll be after we send out the parties, then I'm gonna leave you in charge, okay?"
The look on her face obviously said 'No' but she nodded anyways.
"Yes, sir," she nodded.
"If you don't want to," I said, "then I'll stay here. I just wanted to check on someone, but I guess that's what computers are for."
"No, if you want to go that's just fine," she nodded. "You're in charge, you know what's best."
"No... I was going for a selfish reason." I sighed, talking more to myself than to her. "I was only going to check on Laguna, but obviously the moron's still alive today, he's made it through stuff no one else could, so he'll be fine."
"Commander, seriously," she shook her head. "I think you should go if you want to. Just because you're in charge of all of us doesn't mean you're no longer a human being with your own needs. If you want to go check on him, I'll round up Xu and Quistis to help me out and we'll manage until you get back."
"I don't need to." I shouldn't care. "He hates it there, so maybe he wasn't even there."
"Whatever you want to do," she shrugged. "Like I said, you're in charge, but don't forget to take care of yourself while you're at it. You're still important too."
With that being said, she pulled out a file on some student even I hadn't heard of and started reading.
When it came to Garden, the needs of one person opposed to the needs of hundreds were trivial. That was just one of the things about being in charge... The lives of others depended on you. I brushed my hair out of my face before wondering what to do next. I pulled out my notebook that I used for pretty much everything and started planning out parties of SeeDs to go to the cities.
"Um, Commander?" she looked up from her seat in the floor. "Permission to ask a question?"
"Sayaki, two things. Please call me Squall. You don't owe me any respect. And another thing, you just told me that I'm human. So are you. You don't have to have permission to ask me a question. That's just a human right. It would be like me telling someone never to be curious."
"Um, are you going to send parties of just regular SeeDs to fight the GFs?"
"Whaddya mean regular SeeDs? I'm sending out at least semi-experienced fighters to protect the cities from the monsters, but the higher leveled ones will be against the GFs."
"Okay," she said quietly, staring at the ground. She stood up, putting some of the files up and pulling out some more.
"Why?"
"It doesn't matter. I'm not in charge," she shook her head.
"But that doesn't mean you don't have the right to voice opinions."
"I think if you're going to send out SeeDs to fight these GFs, then I don't think they're going to come back," she said quietly. "We're not sure what we're up against even. Well, at least they're not or anything. I mean, they've summoned, but they've never fought what they're up against, have they? I mean, I know you do sometimes, because...well, never mind, but you know what I'm trying to say, right? I just don't think it's a good idea..."
"It's not like I was planning on sending them out immediately. We have to gather data and train before we can even try to make a move against them. I know now that we don't have a chance..."
"I don't think we have a chance, period," she shook her head. "Okay, think really quickly. Did you ever fight any GFs before they would join you?"
"Yeah."
"When you finally depleted them of all their health, did they ever actually die?"
"...No."
"So if we send SeeDs out to fight them, and they do defeat them, then what's going to happen? Well, the GFs won't die. They might let themselves get junctioned to the SeeDs, only so that the head-GF or whatever can just unjunction them, therefore not only undoing all of their work, but hurting us in the process. Do you see what I'm saying?"
I nodded. She'd just given me a lot to think about.
"...So we're in a lose-lose situation."
"I wouldn't go that far," she smiled brightly. "I've still got an idea...I've just gotta do a little more research. I don't wanna screw up or anything," she shook her head.
"But do you think it's okay for me to send out SeeDs to fight off the monsters in towns? I dunno what else to do to stop them..."
"Yeah, that's a good idea. Just tell them to keep away from the GFs."
"Alright." I frowned in concentration. If I could get Quetzalcoatl back but not junction him to me, maybe I could somehow keep him on our side.
"Um, how much spare time do you have on your hands?"
"Enough. Why?" I asked suspiciously.
She reached into her bag and pulled out a textbook that looked as if it would fall apart if I even touched it. It was old enough that the title once printed on it had worn off, making it hard to tell what it was about.
"Be very careful with this," she warned me. "You might want to read some of this if you have time. This is the history they don't teach in schools anymore," she grinned deviously. "Little too violent, I guess, not to mention we're all lead down the road that GFs love us and are good, this world is perfect." She smiled sadly. "Shame everything we know is just fragments of an illusion we're all forced to believe...anyway, here's a bit of truth to brighten your day. Not that it's a very happy book or anything," she shrugged, handing it to me. "This might explain a lot and help us out."
I nodded. The book was probably as faded on the inside as it was on the outside, but I figured I would understand the gist of things. "Thanks." I said, sliding down and leaning against the wall. I wanted to read it then, but I had to get together parties.
"I think when you form these parties, each one should have one of these people in them," she held out Zell, Rinoa, Irvine, Quistis, and Selphie's file. "If they want to, that is, because if they're not willing to fight then they're worthless in battle. But they seem to be our strongest, so maybe one of them mixed with other strong SeeDs, y'know..." she shook her head. "It's hard for me to even guess on such like this. I have no idea what I'm doing," she sighed.
"To not know what you're doing you're really good at this." I said simply. "I'll see if they would lead the parties." I didn't want to face Rinoa. I laughed bitterly to myself. Well, one way of getting her to go was putting Seifer in her party.
I could feel Sayaki looking up at me with concerned eyes, but she didn't say anything for a moment.
"If you want me to help so we can get it done faster, I will," she offered from her seat on the floor.
"...If you want to. But there are some things that I just have to face for myself." I shook my head sadly.
She looked up at me curiously, but said nothing.
"Well, whatever you want me to do," she shrugged, pulling out a folder holding more papers than it could probably stand and a hi-lighter, starting to read over them.
I retreated behind my notebook again, but my pen didn't move. I was thinking everything over. Again. I had done that a lot in the past few days. But that wasn't the time to resolve personal issues like Rinoa. This was my responsibility, the position that Cid had given me.
"Whatever."
She ignored that comment.
"So, tell me about yourself," she said as she thumbed through the papers.
"Whaddya wanna know? There's nothing much to tell."
"Well, I don't know much about you," she shrugged. "I mean, I just now figured out you're 19, I know you're Commander Squall Leonhart, and I know you're a SeeD, and I know you saved the world and all that jazz, but I don't know anything about ya, like what you're interested in and the like."
"As a SeeD, I really don't have much of a life outside fighting. I mean, I train on my spare time, and read occasionally, but... like I said, I'm not that interesting." I kept my notebook between us as I spoke.
"Fascinating," she mumbled. "Can't even see ya...so you don't really do anything? No wasting your time in Balamb with your friends, no world traveling on that nice red spaceship thingy sitting outside? Just fighting?"
"My friends... I guess I would call them friends. I fought with them for a while, but I never really got that close to them." And the one I did doesn't give a care. "I don't travel, either. Like I said, I gave up my life to become a good mercenary."
"Sheesh, Commander. I'm a mercenary too...a little less professional, of course, and less trained too...but I do make time out for me," she shrugged.
"Time out is just more time to think about things that you don't want to."
She looked up at me, a kind of surprised look on her face.
"Well we'll see about that," she shrugged.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
She stood up, smiling.
"You honestly think spending time with people is just a way to be miserable? You honestly need to come see the light."
"How can a blind man see?" I put down my notebook and stared at the floor, as if hoping it would have the answers of life written on it. "I've always been this way. That's who I am."
She walked over and knelt down in front of me, reaching out and tilting my face up where I was looking directly into her pinkish-violet eyes.
"When I was five I wasn't really that interested in people either. I would have preferred to sit around reading. But we all have to grow up sometime or another."
"This isn't just a phase. This is me. Take that away, and you have no one. You have a trained fighter. I thought I was some one else. But I was proved wrong."
"You're miserable," she shook her head. "That's definitely not the way it's supposed to be."
"There's no other way."
"What makes you so certain of that?"
"There was a way that turned me into someone, and I was so happy. But it turns out that it was all a lie... there's nothing left for happiness for me."
"Squall, you're nineteen years old. You've still got your entire life ahead of you. I don't know what happened, but I'm sure something will come along to replace the space that the pain's occupying right now."
"What until then?"
"You search for whatever that thing is," she said in a matter-of-fact voice.
"How can I look for something when I dunno what it is?"
"You'll know when you find it."
"...Okay." I kept my voice steady even though hundreds of things were rushing through me all at once. I was getting used to that awful feeling.
"Do you honestly want to sit around here and read papers?" she stood up again. "I'm not accomplishing anything here, so I don't know about you, but this vice-commander's gonna go for a ride in the big spaceship." She quickly saluted me. "Seeking permission, of course," she said impatiently.
"...Of course. Do you want company?"
"I wouldn't object to it," she shrugged. "I'm gonna go see what kinda GFs we're up against."
"Okay." I put my notebook and pen in the corner. I wouldn't need them. I didn't want to have to write down my thoughts or plan parties. I wanted to try and get a life outside Garden like Sayaki had said.
"Alrighty!" she beamed. "Well, I'm definitely out of here..." she looked down at the SeeD uniform Martine had given her. "I don't know why he wanted me in one of these. I'm not a SeeD. You know, I don't think anyone knows that, though. I think he's got 'em thinking I'm a SeeD that way they won't get mad or anything...I guess I'd probably get mad if some person who didn't even know what my life was like came in and was suddenly helping lead me..." she shrugged. "I'll meet you at the red-dragon-spaceship-airplane-thingy?"
"Sure. I'll be there in a minute." ...I was gonna see if Rinoa would fight.
"Okay," she waved, running off.
I went down to the first floor, and the first thing that I saw was Seifer and Rinoa together. I steeled myself and went over to Rinoa.
"To fight against the monsters in the cities I'm dispatching SeeD's, and I thought it was a good idea to include some of our strongest and most experienced SeeDs in the groups. I was wondering if you would want to go." I ignored Seifer completely.
"Congratulations on the leadership position," Rinoa smiled. "I meant to go and tell you that, but I never got around to it. Ummm....I guess I'll fight....who all will be in the party with me? Just wondering..."
"I have to do some research on the files to find which SeeDs are most powerful not only in level but with good defenses -and- offense, things like that." I nodded. "When I figure it out I'll get back to you. I'll see ya around."
"Still can't figure anything out on your own," Seifer snorted. "What, you gotta run it by that old bat Cid or somethin'? Teacher's pet."
"Maybe Raijin, Fujin, Seifer and I would make a good party," Rinoa offered. "Just an idea to hopefully save you some time?"
"I'll consider that." I replied to Rinoa, and then turned to Seifer. "Cid is more powerful than you could be with his hands behind his back, and he actually has a brain. So I suggest you not make a comment about it again." I strode off before either could say another word. My blood boiled at Seifer and my heart ached at the sight of Rinoa with him. How could she hang out with, much less like, the guy who fed her to Adel? I went out to the Ragnarok.
Sayaki sat in the driver's seat, looking a lot less professional than earlier dressed in jeans and a long sleeved shirt, despite the fact it was summer. She was twiddling with the joysticks and the steering wheel, looking anxious to go. I noticed there were a few weapons lying beside her--she'd obviously laid them down so she could drive properly.
"Um, I didn't ask permission, but I left Xu and Quistis in charge, just in case. I didn't ask permission to drive either," she admitted sheepishly. "Er, sorry."
"Don't be. You don't have to ask permission for things like that... okay?" My anger was already abating, and I was actually looking forward to the ride in the Ragnarok. I only rode on it when I had to, but... this was different.
"You don't get airsick do you?" she asked teasingly, starting it up. "I've always wanted to drive one of these things! Hope the air cops or whatever don't pull us over...I'm not licensed to drive something this big," she shrugged. "But I have practiced, so I don't think I'll crash or anything. No worries."
I smiled. "Okay then." I kept my gunblade in my hands even when I sat down, because I had learned while on the mission to defeat Ultemecia that I had to be ready at all times.
"You're not...gonna...um, attack me are you?" she glanced over at me nervously, purple eyes shining from underneath her long white bangs. "Cause if you kill me, I will crash and...um...."
I laughed. "Of course I'm not gonna attack you. As long as you're on our side." I smiled jokingly.
She looked up, a little surprised, then smiled.
"You laughed," she smiled as she stared ahead, driving quite well. "You should do that more often. You should smile and laugh both more than you do."
"I'll try that." I said.
It felt like ages since I'd laughed, I realized, and the last time I had was when Rinoa and I had just arrived back in Garden after I had been trapped in time compression. Just thinking about time compression bothered me... no one would ever understand why I had issues with time compression. I didn't think that anyone else had ever been in it, and I was glad no one else had to go through that.
"You alright?" she looked over at me, concerned.
"Yeah..." I shook my head. "Just thinking."
"Well, I'll listen if you feel like speaking," she shrugged, occasionally glancing at a map to see where our location was.
I hesitated. I hardly knew her, yet I was debating whether to tell her about something I hadn't even gotten around to telling Rinoa before she dumped me.
"I've just got a problem with time compression." I smiled embarrassedly. "Stupid, I know, but..."
"Why on earth would that be stupid?" she asked me seriously.
I shook my head. "It's just... I feel like a wimp, being afraid of a place and thing that doesn't exist anymore. Besides, it's nothing to be afraid of I guess. There's nothing there... Nothing but black, gray, and brown space, so there's nothing life-threatening there, but I think the emptiness is ominous."
"I think I'd go crazy if I ever had to spend time in a place like that alone," she shrugged. "I don't think it's wimpy at all to be afraid of that place. Why would you think that?" she shook her head.
"It's just... Looking back on it, it feels like I shouldn't be so freaked out about it, but... It was so weird. You could keep walking forever and hardly get two feet. There was no time and no space. It was just all crammed together to trap you. It would've taken a million years to get a hundred feet across that place, because no matter how hard or fast you run, it hardly gets you anywhere at all."
She reached over and squeezed my arm reassuringly.
"I think you're brave to have made it through that place with your sanity still in tact," she said, never taking her eyes off the sky in front of her except to glance at the map.
Rinoa saved me. She was what kept me going, what got me back, and I felt like I'd left a part of myself in time compression.
"...Thank you."
"Anytime," she shrugged.
... I didn't know if I would ever be who I was again. That bothered me, but I had learned to ignore it. I was just glad that time compression wasn't a threat anymore. Still... if a person creates a place and they die, it doesn't eliminate the place, so that must've meant that time compression was still there. If it was there, then there could still be someone in it. That thought bothered me more than anything. Someone might be trapped in there, one minute feeling like a thousand years, like I was, but with no one to save them. I wanted to think of anything but time compression, so I attempted to think of something else to occupy my mind.
Sayaki stared ahead blankly, lost in thought.
"About five minutes and we'll be there," she informed me off-handedly.
"Where are we going in the first place?"
"Shumi Village," she grinned evilly at me.
I raised my eyebrows, unable to think of anything but my time with Gardenmaster NORG. Even visiting the Shumi Village hadn't been enough to change my opinion of them…I knew it was horrible of me to be so closed-minded about them, but there were just too many things I didn't agree with them on. "To where the crazy people live? And that would be because...?"
"I'm kidding, we're not. They don't like me much anyway. We're heading to Deling City."
I nodded, feeling stupid for not looking outside. "Alright."
"Don't be so hard on yourself..."
I had the unnerving feeling she knew what I was thinking. I didn't like it at all. I just nodded to be the safe side.
"There!" she suddenly announced, landing a bit awkwardly but not doing any damage to anything but the tiny tree we landed on. "Alright, better equip," she mumbled to herself, grabbing the odd assortment of shruikens, throwing knives, and the small gun that was laying beside her. I kept a firm grip on my weapon, because with all the stupid monsters you never knew....
"Alright, let's see what we're facing," she smiled grimly, hopping out of the Ragnarok and walking towards the city.
I walked beside her, feeling safer but more idiotically paranoid with my gunblade pulled out. It felt weird not to junction any magic, but the empty space that Quetzalcoatl had made was fading and a few memories were rising to the surface.
She looked around the area, walking slowly as just to make sure she didn't run into anything unsuspectingly. She walked over to a person, talked with them for a second, then walked back over to me.
"Um, if you have anything you want to do you can go do it. I'm going to go over to the bridge area..."
"Okay." I nodded. "Then when do you want to meet and where?"
"Maybe in...um....thirty minutes? At...um...the item shop."
"Okay."
I decided I would get what I needed from the item shop when I met Sayaki. I got a new weapon, seeing as my old one was getting really worn out (I'd had it since the SeeD test, which felt like a lifetime ago), spent about fifteen minutes beating the daylights out of people at Triple Triad. I had so many cards I didn't know what to do with them, and I obviously couldn't use my card refine junction. I simply shoved them in my pocket to store in my stash at Garden.
I looked at my watch. Three minutes left, and I was on the wrong side of town. I hurried to the item shop right on time, but Sayaki wasn't there. Figuring she might be late like I had almost been, having lost track of time, I stocked up on potions, phoenix down, remedies, and the like, because I knew that there wasn't any magic that was usable. I couldn't even draw. This was gonna drive me crazy if being in charge if garden didn't. I was seriously not having a good feeling about this, and I didn't think of her as the type who would be late, seeing as she seemed to ask permission for every little thing. I ran off to the bridge area, hoping she was okay.
She was frantically shooting at Siren with a tiny gun, not being able to do much damage with it. Her main shruiken was stuck in Siren's wing--a place she couldn't easily reach. She was chanting something at a strange beat, glowing an odd bluish color, and yet looked ready to give up.
All at once I used a couple potions on her and I limit breaked the GF, furious at it for a reason unknown even to me. All I could figure was that I didn't want it hurting my friend... I assumed I could consider her a friend. I slammed my gunblade down hard on Siren one last time before hurrying back to Sayaki.
"We can't beat it, and we need to get outta here before it can junction itself to us! Are you okay enough to run?"
"No, I've almost got it...I can't leave..." she shook her head, looking up at Siren miserably. The blue aura disappeared, and she sighed. "...I can't do anymore. You're right, let's go..."
"Are you okay?"
"I'm not gonna be if we stick around here much longer!" she said quickly, suddenly running around and charging at Siren, jumping on her and grabbing the thing's harp, using it to reach the wing. She used her gun to shoot her shruiken out of it, grabbed it, and frantically started dashing off.
"C'mon, Commander, c'mon I bet she's mad now..." she winced, hugging the shruiken and dashing through the crowd, knocking random people over. "Sorry! Sorry! Comin' through, sorry!"
I ran after her. Obviously she was okay. I slammed the door shut and sunk into the passenger's seat, looking over at Sayaki, frazzled.
Reminded me of the time I stole that car, and it was even in Deling City.
"Are you okay? I have potions and stuff if you need any..."
"I couldn't do it," she shook her head. "And I was so close..." she sighed, disappointed. "Fudge...that just bites. Huh? Potions? No, I'm okay. I only like the grape-flavored ones anyways," she shrugged. "The rest I can't even stand."
I smiled at her, amazed that she cared what kind of potion saved her life. It didn't really matter to me, because I didn't like any flavors in particular, and also as long as it worked I was happy.
"What were you doing to Siren?"
"I've done my studying," she's sighed. "Okay, I'll basically tell you everything in that book I loaned you. You can go ahead and read it anyway for more information, but I'll give you the basics of it. Back a long time ago, before any of us were ever even thought of, GFs ruled this world. However, we humans didn't like their rule. I mean, it was pretty much peaceful, but some of the GFs made crappy kings and the like. So the humans decided to take over. The thing about a GF is you can't kill them, 'cause they're kind of immortal, y'know? Um...so how do I put this...they sealed them away using a special spell. It wasn't really magic, it was more like...I don't know, an art, I guess you could say. This put the GFs in a place where they could survive," she paused, staring at the ground, then back out the window. "Time compression. Time compression was created for the GFs. But don't freak out or anything, 'cause it's different for them! It was harder for you 'cause you were just a mortal and all, but they're immortal, so it's no problem for them to exist in this place. But since they're so strong, they get released every ten thousand odd years or so. Well, this time when they got released, the people had lost the old spell or whatever you want to call it that seals them back away. Instead of sealing them, the people allowed the GFs to junction themselves to them. Now that the GFs have regained power, they kind of want their rule back, y'know? Some of us still know that old spell thing...I'm one of those people. It's like magic, only its not...magic is selective about who can use it. This power isn't. It's available for anyone who wants to learn it. And we have to use this power to send the GFs back to where they came from, otherwise..." she shook her head. "It was different then, when GFs and people lived in peace. Now they're kinda picked off at us for leaving them in time compression for a millennia...so...I was using that spell against Siren to try and send her back to where she belongs," she explained.
Suddenly a lot of things clicked into place all at once.
"...So anyone can learn?"
"Anyone. Especially nineteen year old Commanders with brown hair and greyish eyes and gunblades who would probably find this art very useful in their adventures."
"Would you teach me then?" I couldn't help but smile at her.
"Gladly," she grinned. "But, uh, not on the dragon-spaceship-airplane-thingy. I can't teach and drive at the same time. Quoting long boring textbooks is the most I can do while driving. Anything else and I crash."
"Alright." I nodded at her. "Thanks."
"Anytime, Commander," she beamed.
"Will you -please- call me Squall? This isn't formal or anything."
She blinked a few times, looking over to me.
"I'll think about it," she winked.
I rolled my eyes but smiled all the same. "Alright."
Notes: Guys, if you liked it, please review! The more reviews I get the more I can convince Selphie that we need to redraft chapter 6 or whatever chapter it was I wanted to redraft - Not to mention that reviews are nice…
So I'd like to thank our two reviewers so far - I'll mention your names in the next chapter because I can only remember one of the names and I don't want anyone to feel left out. Also because for some reason I can't re-access the page…so many thanks to our reviewers! Join them, please, hehe -
Well, I'd post Chapter Four but 'Law and Order' is on, which has gotta be the best non-anime, non-cartoon, non-game TV show ever, so I'd best go watch it. Hope you're liking it!
Oh yeah, and here's just something for fun, since it's commercialling right now - This is a duet project between me and Sefie Lynne…my biggest goal was to make it sound like only one writer, but I'm far from good at this so you probably can tell that's it's two of us…in any case, can you guess which characters are mine and which ones are Sefie's? (I just wanna see if it's really obvious -)
Ack…no more rambling. . Love and peace,
Xifa and Sefie Lynne