Later that day Lorelai grabbed her ringing cell phone as she walked grumpily back into the Inn from the kitchen garden.
"Hello," she sighed.
"Hey, you do not sound happy." greeted Luke.
"Is fifteen hundred dollars for a load of gravel unreasonable?" she asked plaintively.
"I don't know," came his answer.
"I mean it's just a bunch of little rocks, right? Gah! Do you think he'd knock a couple hundred off if I got out there and spread it around myself?"
"You are not going to spread gravel," laughed Luke.
"Why not? Are you saying I can't spread gravel?" snapped Lorelai.
"No, I'm saying that you would ruin your shoes spreading gravel." he returned.
"Oh, right," conceded Lorelai, "Thank you for calling me," she finally smiled into the phone.
"You're welcome. How's your day going?... I mean other than the solid gold gravel someone's trying to unload on you."
"Ha.Ha," she responded drolly, "Actually, I have to say, other than the gravel scam, that running my own Inn is everything it's cracked up to be," she added airily as she began to sort the mail.
"Really?" Luke smiled and sat down in the leather chair in his apartment.
"Oh yeah. If only those girls would come home from swimming in the water tower to do their chores, and Uncle Joe weren't so dang lazy, it'd be idyllic," she went on.
"Oh, they'll all perk up at the Shady Rest once the train stops at the junction," he told her dryly.
Lorelai laughed, "You, my friend, are a very cultured man."
"Keep that under wraps though, will ya?" Luke agreed.
"Oh sure, you have that Working Man thing going so well... everyone's fooled."
"That's right. So, will you be by later?" he asked.
"Sadly, no. I need to help Rory pack and we need to talk again before she leaves."
"Oh."
"Thank you so much for calling though," she added, "You really made my afternoon."
"Sure."
They were silent for a moment then.
"Luke, something wrong?" she asked.
"No... No, I'm fine..." he sighed.
"I will try to be in tomorrow, okay?"
"Right."
"'Bye."
"'Bye."
Lorelai clicked off her phone and stared off into space for a moment. Luke, she thought. Luke is disappointed I'm not coming in to the diner. Luke wants to see me. She smiled then. And I want to see him. Okay, okay, Lorelai, don't get ahead of yourself. Don't obsess. Enjoy. Enjoy this. Enjoy how great it feels to be wanted by someone like him. And to want him back. And, oh boy, is this complicated: What is he? What is Luke? Who is he? Has something always been here—between us? Yes, whispered her heart: Yes. But you've been ignoring it, said her heart again—this time a little more forcefully. But it's Luke. It's Luke! her head shouted. Yes, it's Luke, (her heart again.) And then she felt it: that flip in her stomach... and then her knees weakened.... No, my knees cannot be literally weakening at the thought of Luke she told herself as she sat down and took a deep breath. Luke, she thought again. Wow.
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It was later than she hoped when she slowly dragged herself through the front door that evening and flopped on the couch.
"You look awful," said Rory as she came in from the kitchen.
"Oh thank you, sweetie.." said Lorelai with a slight sarcastic tone.
"Thank you? That's the best you can come up with?" laughed Rory, "We better rush you to the Emergency Room right away, because that must be about the weakest come back I've ever heard you utter."
"Yeah, well..." began Lorelai and trailed off, "Huh... I've got nothing... So, how are you doing?" she sat up a little straighter and looked at her daughter, noticing the dark circles under her eyes.
"I'm all right." Rory avoided her mother's gaze.
"Uh huh," Lorelai let it go. She'd said her piece, "So do you need anything for your trip?"
"No. I just hope Grandma doesn't want to do anything too fancy."
Lorelai just stared at her at that.
"Right. Okay, I guess I'll be needing the entire Summer couture collection then," she said darkly, "I just want some quiet time. Do you think Grandma will let me have any?"
Lorelai could see that Rory was starting to question the wisdom of this trip.
"Rory, you will have to handle this—and her. If you need quiet time, or library time, or whatever, you will have to make that clear to her. I will not be there to intercede," Lorelai hoped she was sounding firm and as if she were treating Rory as an adult when all she wanted was to have eight- year-old-Rory back—the kid had been so hard herself then, Lorelai had hardly ever even given her times out. Lorelai sighed for the minor infractions of yesterday.
"I know," Rory acknowledged, "I put Dean's letter in the mail this morning," she added quietly.
"Okay."
"I told him we made a mistake and that I hoped he could forgive me... again... and that he could work out his life... and..." Rory was crying now, and Lorelai caught a glimpse then of that eight year old that was, and reached out for her.
"Oh, honey, come here," she said, and Rory sat next to her on the couch and buried her head on her mother's shoulder.
"I am so sorry..."sobbed her little girl.
"I know. I know you are," soothed Lorelai.
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The next morning Lorelai awoke from a night of vivid dreams; of helping Luke chase Kirk but trying to reach Luke too, trying to talk to him whilst she held Rory in her arms like a baby, and all she knew was that she was too tired to catch up to Luke and that he was looking at her, from a distance, with a kind of horror on his face...like she'd done something, or said something, or maybe even was something that he couldn't quite fathom.
She rubbed her gritty eyes then. Her head still throbbed and she felt exhausted; as if she'd run a marathon in her sleep. She glanced at her clock: six forty-five and, on impulse, grabbed her phone and dialed the diner.
"Luke's" she heard and breathed in at the familiarity.
"Hi," she croaked in that scratchy-voiced early morning way.
"Lorelai?"
She cleared her throat, "Yeah, sorry, I just woke up."
"Oh," he sounded surprised, "You okay?"
"Yeah... I just... I had a dream..." Lorelai heard only silent waiting on the other end of the phone, "Sorry, this is crazy, I had a dream that you were upset, or angry, or... I don't know... I just... I just wanted to hear that everything was... that everything is the same, I guess. Dumb, hunh?"
"No," he told her gently, "Not dumb. I'm glad you called: Everything is the same, Lorelai."
"Okay... Well, good."
"Will I see you this morning?"
"No, gravel delivery coming early," she responded.
"Oh. Okay."
"I'm bringing Rory in tonight for a proper Luke's send-off though."
"Great," she heard his voice brighten.
"Yeah, you can't go to Europe without a belly full of Luke's coffee, right?"
"Right." he agreed.
"Okay... Sorry, to have been so weird..."
"I don't want you to feel weird about calling me."
"Well, good.... I won't then," she responded a little nervously.
"Good."
"Yeah, good. 'Bye."
"Goodbye, Lorelai, see you later."
Lorelai hung up her phone and moaned: Jeez! If I 'm not running into furniture like a Carol Burnette guest star, then I'm making a complete ass of myself without even getting out of bed. She pulled the pillow over her head then and tried to re-write the immediate past in her mind, to make her stupid call to Luke into something different: Something where she was witty and seductive and... Nope, no there was no changing the fact that she'd been...well, whatever she'd been. Crap.
"Mom?" she heard Rory tap on her door.
"Come on in, honey!" she called from within her pillow, "Boy, do I need to see you this morning."
"Bad night?" asked Rory as she slipped into bed next to her mother.
"The worst," affirmed Lorelai.
"Me too," sighed Rory as she snuggled closer to her mother. "I'm going to miss you, Mom."
"I know, me too, Kiddo," she squeezed Rory's arm.
They lay together quietly in the early morning for awhile.
"Mom?"
"Yeah?"
"Will you do something for me while I'm gone?"
"Sure, hun."
"Will you check on Grandpa? I'm worried about him."
"Oh, Rory..."
"Please?"
"Honey, he doesn't want to see me."
"Please, Mom?"
Lorelai sighed, "All right. I'll try."
"Thank you."
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It was dark and well past the dinner rush by the time Lorelai and Rory got to Luke's that evening. Luke was cleaning up and only a few customers sat lingering over coffee in the corner.
"Hey," he looked up, relieved to see them, as they sat down, "I'd almost given up on you."
"Yeah, we had a suitcase emergency," Lorelai smiled at him. Yep, the tingle was still there.
"A suitcase emergency?" Luke paused to look at her, grinning.
"Yeah, the zipper broke, so we had to run out and get a new suitcase," why couldn't she stop with the smiling already?
"You should have called me, I might have been able to fix it for you," why couldn't he stop with the smiling already?
"We didn't want to bother you."
"No bother."
Rory looked at them both, "What's with all this smiling?" she asked with a laugh.
They both snapped out of it then to look at her.
"What are you talking about?" asked Lorelai quickly, "We're just smiling... We like each other... I mean, friends smile at each other, right? Not that we're just friends. I mean, we are friends, but... Oh, God..." she stopped when she saw the looks on both their faces.
"I'll go get you two some coffee," said Luke and walked away.
"Chill, Mom," said Rory, "It's just Luke."
"Right, just Luke," agreed Lorelai and grabbed a menu, "Only not. Not 'just Luke' any more."
"I see," said Rory in amusement.
"Shut up and order," grumped Lorelai.
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"Well, Mr. Diner-Man, I have to say that you out-did yourself this evening," smiled Lorelai into her coffee.
"Well, good, I'm glad you liked it," he smiled down at her.
"Hey, Luke, why don't you sit down and have some pie with us?" invited Rory, "I won't be seeing you for awhile, after all."
"Yeah, have a seat, Luke."
Luke obliged them.
"Hey, Mom, I was thinking last night about when we first moved into the house," said Rory thoughtfully.
"What made you think of that, honey?" asked Lorelai. The gentleness in her voice caught Luke as he watched them talk.
"I don't know," shrugged Rory, "We were so excited, you know. And the house seemed so big because we didn't really own any furniture yet."
Lorelai laughed, "Yeah, that winter we roller skated in the living room!"
Rory laughed too.
"You roller skated in the living room?" asked Luke, "Do you know what that can do to wood floors?"
"Trust me, we found out," replied Lorelai.
"That first night, I didn't want to sleep in my own room," said Rory quietly.
"I didn't know that," said Lorelai, "Why not?"
"Well, I was excited to finally have my own room, but I'd always shared with you. And I missed you... Dumb, hunh?"
"No, honey, not dumb," Lorelai felt a lump rise in her throat, "I'm going to miss you."
"Mom, it'll only be a month," said Rory.
"Still..." insisted Lorelai.
The three sat comfortably together for a moment then.
"Well, I hate to break up this party, but I promised Lane I'd drop by, and I've been avoiding talking to her," said Rory and looked away uncomfortably.
"Oh right, okay, I'll see you at home later then, hun."
Rory stood to leave and then impulsively leaned over and kissed a very surprised Luke on the cheek, "'Bye Luke, take care of her while I'm gone."
"Betty Friedan would fry you for a comment like that," laughed Lorelai, though she felt almost as touched by this gesture as Luke.
"Yeah, well, the post-feminist generation likes to shake things up," smiled Rory as she left.
Lorelai felt a weariness come over her with her daughter's departure and sighed into it heavily.
"She'll be back soon," said Luke from across the table.
"I know," nodded Lorelai, "It's just..." she shivered then, "Is it cold in here?"
"No, I don't think so."
"Well, I'm cold. I'm really cold," said Lorelai with a frown. She wrapped her arms around herself.
The bell over the door jingled then. They both turned to see Patty come in. She crossed to them immediately with a concerned look on her face.
"Lorelai, is Rory all right, dear?" she asked.
Lorelai's eyes narrowed a bit, "She's fine, Patty. Why do you ask?"
"There is some awful rumor going around that she... Well, did you know that Dean has moved back in with his parents?" she probed.
Lorelai sat up a bit straighter, "No, I didn't know that, Patty."
"Yes, and Lindsay's been saying some terrible things, dear, about the night we were all at your beautiful Inn." Lorelai shifted uncomfortably, Luke noticed. "Of course I know these things aren't true, but you should know what people are saying... If that Dean did anything to her, this town will be out with tar and feathers..."
Lorelai stood up and put her hands on Patty's shoulders and looked her square in the eye.
"Patty, I really need you to be a friend right now," she began.
"Of course, darling, anything," enthused Patty. "No, I mean really, Patty," Lorelai leveled at her. "I need you to not say anything to anybody about this. Can you do that, Patty?"
Patty looked at Lorelai a moment, "It's in the vault, honey, you have by word," she finally said in all seriousness.
Lorelai was sure she looked the relief she felt, "Thank you, Patty. I mean it."
Patty nodded, "Just be aware, Lorelai, honey." she said and turned to leave.
"I will."
She turned back to the table then and started picking up various mugs and dishes and, without looking at Luke, carried them right into the kitchen and began scraping the plates into the sink before placing them in the industrial dishwasher's tray.
Luke followed her in, eyeing her carefully, "What are you doing?" he finally asked.
"What does it look like I'm doing? I'm cleaning up. Since you won't let me pay for this dinner, it means I am your guest, and a good guest always helps with the clean up. Except my mother of course, which is not to say that she isn't a good guest. Because she, as it happens, is an extremely well-trained guest. It just wouldn't occur to her to help clean up because, well that's why some people go into service and others don't. You know, so they can clean up and you can be a good guest by drinking sherry in the living room after dinner...while others do the cleaning up..."
"Lorelai..."
"What?" Lorelai turned to look at him defiantly.
"What's going on?"
Lorelai paused for a moment, "I can't Luke..."
"Seems like everyone is going to know whatever it is anyway," he reasoned quietly, "I can help you more if I know."
"It would mortify Rory."
"All right. I don't want you to make a choice here. I just want you to know that.... Well, that I know you are used to dealing with things on your own. I am too. But, I'm looking to change that... that's what this is all about... seeing if that can be changed... Do you understand?" he asked finally.
Lorelai nodded. She did. She did understand.
"So, I'm here," he finally offered.
"Oh Luke," sighed Lorelai and put her arms around him. He held her for a moment then, quietly. "Mmm," she breathed, "I am so cold and you feel so warm."
They silently cleaned and closed the diner together that night and then Luke walked her home.
"Try to get some sleep," he urged her at the door.
She shook her head in the negative, "My Mom's coming at three to get Rory, so we'll probably just stay up."
Luked nodded at that, gave her a light kiss on the lips and walked home.
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At five the next morning, Luke switched on the diner lights and noticed Lorelai's slumped form in the doorway. He quickly went to unlock the door. She lifted her head and looked over her shoulder at him. He saw the tears streaming down her cheeks.
"Come here," he said, and helped lift her so that she could stand in his arms. When she was able he took her upstairs to the apartment and gave her a cup of coffee. They sat on the sofa a moment then and Lorelai got control of herself.
And then he heard her, in the dim light, and as she gazed down into her mug...
"She slept with him, Luke. She slept with Dean." She looked up at him then and he pulled her close. "I told Rory... I told her, I need someone to talk to... I told her..." she said muffled from within his shoulder. "She wasn't happy about my wanting to talk to you, but she feels so guilty... I'm sure she just thinks it's part of the punishment she deserves or something... And here I am letting Patty... letting everyone think that maybe this was all something Dean did... because you know that is how this will play out... And she's my daughter, Luke, I have to protect her... But she did it, Luke. She did it as much as he did.... And where was I in this situation? Where was I? Where have I been that she didn't know not to do this? She did know not to do this, Luke, damn it, she did! Whatever he said about his marriage... I mean your marriage wasn't going so great, was it? But how did you feel when Nicole... Well, that's who Rory is..." and Lorelai began crying again.
"That's not who she is, Lorelai. It's something she did. And it certainly isn't your fault." he told her.
"Oh God, Luke..."
"It's okay," he softly stroked her head, "It's okay..."