"Story of Scorpions"
Prologue Speaker: Don Zaloog
My name is Zaloog. Don Zaloog. The Zaloog of all Zaloogs. The Don of all Dons. Affectionately known as Donny Z, or Donny boy. And my name really is Zaloog, so don't bug me about it.
Now, where was I? Ah yes, lost within the etymology of my name. Anyways, this story circulates around me and my gang, the Dark Scorpions. I, as you may have gathered by now at least, am Don Zaloog, the super cool gang leader--with a gun. But when I reached Ellis Island, they took away my super cool guns and replaced them with bland, ordinary, everyday swords. Can you believe it? I couldn't. But I still have my beltfeed, ammobelt, whatever. When I watch it long enough, I can imagine me and my super cool guns, and I bleed for them everyday. yawns
Anyways, me and my super cool gang (I think) consist of five. Me, Don Zaloog, the super cool leader, is the first, best, and greatest. Everyone of us in this gang is supposed to have a reason for being there, although I solemnly swear Chick the Yellow has a stupid name and no purpose. He's a little rat with a flat-top and an awful sense of humor. The only reason he's on this team is because he begged me silly and Meanae thought he was cute. I mean, a scaredy cat with a mallet?! How dumb can you get? Oh well, he's on this team and it's tough nuggets if I don't like him.
Meanae the Thorn is your average pretty-yet-ferocious-when-you-try-to- talk-silly-around-her kind of girl. She wields the almightly whip of thorny vengeance. Catchy, huh? She has a great soft spot for Chick, even though she gets exasperated with him sometimes. She thinks Cliff the Trap Destroyer is a nerd! Heck, he's better than Chick. What does she see in that yellow kid? Beats me.
Cliff the Trap Remover is (duh) a trap remover. As Chick likes to say "Even better than Oxi-Clean!" Chick picks the lamest brands, doesn't he? I mean, that hyperactive guy who screams "Buy Oxi-Clean! It'll remove all your stains, I promise! Please? Please?!" He gets on my nerves. Oh, wait, I was talking about Cliff, wasn't I? He's the handy nerd of the Dark Scorpions. He has some (seemingly) plastic daggers, and these HUGE glasses, trust me. They look ugly, but he has his uses, so we'll just ignore that, shall we?
The last one of us is Gorg the Strong. Gorg...that reminds me of someone throwing up. Eww. He's one of those huge hulking strong guys who scowl at you with these tiny deepset eyes, and one of those warriors who has a bunch of muscle...dumb muscle. If he had a brain even the size of a walnut, he'd be a lot better off. I mean, he bludgeons bridges just by walking around. But maybe that's just me.
That's us. But the only person who really matters is Don Zaloog, the Zaloog, the ultimate Dark Scorpion with a tail of poison. (Not literal.) Anyways, read and enjoy!
Sincerely,
DON ZALOOG
My name is Zaloog. Don Zaloog. The Zaloog of all Zaloogs. The Don of all Dons. Affectionately known as Donny Z, or Donny boy. And my name really is Zaloog, so don't bug me about it.
Now, where was I? Ah yes, lost within the etymology of my name. Anyways, this story circulates around me and my gang, the Dark Scorpions. I, as you may have gathered by now at least, am Don Zaloog, the super cool gang leader--with a gun. But when I reached Ellis Island, they took away my super cool guns and replaced them with bland, ordinary, everyday swords. Can you believe it? I couldn't. But I still have my beltfeed, ammobelt, whatever. When I watch it long enough, I can imagine me and my super cool guns, and I bleed for them everyday. yawns
Anyways, me and my super cool gang (I think) consist of five. Me, Don Zaloog, the super cool leader, is the first, best, and greatest. Everyone of us in this gang is supposed to have a reason for being there, although I solemnly swear Chick the Yellow has a stupid name and no purpose. He's a little rat with a flat-top and an awful sense of humor. The only reason he's on this team is because he begged me silly and Meanae thought he was cute. I mean, a scaredy cat with a mallet?! How dumb can you get? Oh well, he's on this team and it's tough nuggets if I don't like him.
Meanae the Thorn is your average pretty-yet-ferocious-when-you-try-to- talk-silly-around-her kind of girl. She wields the almightly whip of thorny vengeance. Catchy, huh? She has a great soft spot for Chick, even though she gets exasperated with him sometimes. She thinks Cliff the Trap Destroyer is a nerd! Heck, he's better than Chick. What does she see in that yellow kid? Beats me.
Cliff the Trap Remover is (duh) a trap remover. As Chick likes to say "Even better than Oxi-Clean!" Chick picks the lamest brands, doesn't he? I mean, that hyperactive guy who screams "Buy Oxi-Clean! It'll remove all your stains, I promise! Please? Please?!" He gets on my nerves. Oh, wait, I was talking about Cliff, wasn't I? He's the handy nerd of the Dark Scorpions. He has some (seemingly) plastic daggers, and these HUGE glasses, trust me. They look ugly, but he has his uses, so we'll just ignore that, shall we?
The last one of us is Gorg the Strong. Gorg...that reminds me of someone throwing up. Eww. He's one of those huge hulking strong guys who scowl at you with these tiny deepset eyes, and one of those warriors who has a bunch of muscle...dumb muscle. If he had a brain even the size of a walnut, he'd be a lot better off. I mean, he bludgeons bridges just by walking around. But maybe that's just me.
That's us. But the only person who really matters is Don Zaloog, the Zaloog, the ultimate Dark Scorpion with a tail of poison. (Not literal.) Anyways, read and enjoy!
Sincerely,
DON ZALOOG