This one goes out to Panam who just doesn't stop to try to get into V's pants no matter how often he let's her down... just get the hints, girl.

Please note that English isn't my native language so please forgive me my mistakes - but feel free to show them to me!

"I hope this isn't one of your great plans again, Panam" V said accentuated, the faint hint of annoyance in his voice that seemed to be so ever present when she was introducing him to her ideas. However Panam couldn't help it – seeing him on Scorpion's bike, the sun setting behind him, a warm feeling settled in her stomach. He took care of the ride – honoured it – she could see that. Things like that were what made him so special to her.

So why – why! - couldn't she just woman up and ask him for an actual date instead of luring him out into the Badlands under stupid, wrong circumstances?

"Don't worry, V. It's an easy job. Just have to deal with some scavengers that will come around tonight, carrying some valuable junk that does not belong in their hands. It's paid well and easy", Pan explained and got up from the blanket she'd been sitting on to step next to V, pointing down towards the road in the distance.

They'd agreed to meet on top of a small cliff, where one had a good view over this part of the desert while remaining unseen. Of course Panam had made sure that it was more than that – a campfire was already set, she'd brought a blanket, the sky was clear today and would offer a great view on the starry night sky. She could tell him about the constellations, they would drink a beer or two, it would get cold, they would cuddle – her plan was perfect.

The right moment. This time it would be the right moment, the one she'd been looking out for. No Saul sleeping next to them in the shed, no other Nomads being around, no stinky, tight tank to be strapped in. This time he sure wouldn't shy away.

It was... adorable. He was so tough on the outside, calculating and smart but Panam was sure that he had this soft, shy core, buried somewhere underneath this cold netrunner shell. She had seen it a few times already – that soft spot of his. Also – why else would he come and answer her call for help – again?

"Come on, sit down. We can crack a cold one together while we wait for the scavengers to show up", Panam said and patted the spot next to her after dropping down on the blanket again.

"Mhm", V said but shook his head, "But no beer for me. I haven't slept well the past... four or five nights. Don't think some booze will do me good right now."

Panam gave him a worried look.

"The thing in your head?"

"The thing in my head."

She let out a sigh and looked at the two bottles in her hands. So much for her plan to help him loosen up a bit through alcohol...

The fire crackled and the noise of cars roaming the big roads seemed to be so far away.

"Sounds like the waves of the sea, don't you think", Panam said softly.

"Hm?" V seemed to listen for a moment. "Hm... don't know. I think I've heard the constant noises of cars so much that... I blend them out by now and don't hear them at all." He shrugged. "It's quiet out here, though. So different from the city."

Panam turned her head to take in his profile. That short black hair, dyed green at the top, these cold white eyes, the beard with the tiny braid. And yet, to her, he looked so vulnerable right now. Who knew what it felt like, to have this biochip eating up ones brain? Panam wanted to hug him. Tell him that everything would be alright. Press him tightly against her bust. Make love to him the whole night.

She scooted closer but the moment their legs touched, V seemed to shift a bit into a different position, breaking the contact.

"The clear sky brings out the stars so well", she said and looked up, pointing at a certain constellation. "The Great Dipper is over there. See it?"

V nodded.

Panam shivered slightly and gave him a helpless look. "Clear sky also means its colder than usual. Guess I should've brought more than just one blanket...", she said, rubbing her arms, her eyes gazing into his.

V raised one eyebrow.

This must be the right moment, she thought, the moment where he sure would embrace her, where she would put her head on his shoulder, and silence would follow and she would be brave enough to take the first step and just kiss him.

Panam blinked in mild irritation, being pulled out of her thoughts when she felt something heavy around her. His jacket.

"That should help", he said and stretched. "Sorry, Pan. I think I try and... take a nap. I am really done with today. Just wake me up when the scavengers turn up, alright? Don't try to do this thing alone." He didn't bother to cover his yawn before he curled up on the blanket.

Panam stared at him. Great. It was almost fascinating how fast V was able to fall asleep and snore quietly if it wasn't so fucking frustrating. Pan let out a low groan and shook her head, before she decided to simply sit there and stare into the fire.

V wasn't as spaced out as Panam thought he was. Like so often these days he didn't really fall asleep. Maybe he was afraid of it. Afraid that he wouldn't wake up again. Not as himself.

Didn't help that he heard Johnny's voice in his head right now when he desperately tried to grab some sleep.

'V. What are you doing. She wants your dick.'

V didn't open his eyes. He knew he would see Johnny's image standing there, smoking his cigarette and giving him this certain the-fuck-are-you-doing-look.

'I know. She's not exactly subtle. And doesn't seem to get my hints', V answered in his thoughts, knowing Johnny would hear it.

'Ya know you could just give me control for a few minutes there, I will make sure to make her happy...'

'Suuuure. Of course you would. Forget it, Johnny. I am not giving you my body to bone Panam!'

'Oh but I had to watch how you got boned by Kerry?'

'No one forced you to watch and now shut the fuck up, you're giving me a headache.'

And sometimes miracles did happen because Johnny actually did shut up and V promised himself to use this silence to try and take that nap he deserved so much. Even if it was just to get out of that awkward situation with Panam. And indeed he did drift away eventually. Maybe the cold wind helped. Maybe the quiet. Maybe the melody of a certain guitar riff that has been looping in his mind non stop.

Panam felt stupid, sitting on this stupid blanket with this stupid camp fire and the stupid stars – and V asleep and snoring next to her. So she got up and decided to wander around a bit, she felt like stretching her legs. No scavengers would come. She'd lied to V about it, to get him out here, just the two of them. Now she felt stupid because of it. But she would let him sleep – he deserved a peaceful rest. At least one. Maybe she should've been honest from the start. Just tell him: V, I like you. Want to go out for a date under the stars? We can shoot at things later.

But she didn't.

Panam sighed and was about to kick a stone from the cliff when she felt a vibration in her pocket. She pulled out the cellphone basically on instinct and it came to her too late that she wasn't wearing her own jacket right now – and that this wasn't her phone at all.

Her eyes already locked on the message that popped up on the screen:

'Planning to :) don't really know if there's anything left to conquer though. You're already mine, right? (I know, I knooooow, it's cringe. But I couldn't hold myself back!)'

Suddenly she felt like being thrown into cold water, torn between dropping the phone and reading the whole conversation.

"Fuck, Panam... this is private... don't read it...", she whispered to herself. "Don't. Read. It." But her hand obviously had other plans than her head because she already opened the whole conversation and even though she was still mumbling to herself to not read a thing that was part of V's private love life – she couldn't stop reading.

"Fuck. I am such a gonk!", she called out, louder than she wanted to and started to walk in circles. "So stupid. I'm so stupid."

"Pan..."

"I'm so dense! How could I not see it? Fuck, I made such a fool out of myself!"

"Panam..."

"Like – the fuck. Of course he's gay. Of course he's already seeing someone! What was I even thinking?!"

"Panaaaaaaam."

She froze and then stared at V who was sitting on the blanket, obviously awake and holding out his hand towards her. "My phone? Pretty please?"

She made a tiny, helpless sound and dropped it into his palm before dropping down next to him, her head hanging, her face buried in her hands in shame.

"I'm so sorry V. I shouldn't have read your messages", she mumbled.

"It's okay. It's not cool, but it's okay. No hard feelings though."

Slowly she lowered her hands and dared to look at him.

"You must think I'm a complete gonk."

V laughed a bit – it was nice to hear him laugh, it was nice to see him relax... at least a little bit.

"Nah. Honestly? I feel flattered. In another life, you and me could've been something, maybe. Sorry. I should have been straight with you from the start. About... you know. Not being straight."

Panam shook her head. "I should've gotten your hints in the first place." She let out another long sigh but found herself to feel better already. He wasn't mad at her. That was important.

Panam looked at him and for a while they just shared silence before a tiny smirk crossed her face.

"But... Kerry Eurodyne? The Kerry Eurodyne? I mean... even a desert girl like me knows him. Does that mean you're the boy toy of a rocker legend, V?", she joked.

"Hey. Am no ones toy", V said with a frown on his face and Panam already felt sorry for her words.

She cleared her throat. "So I guess it's something more serious, then...?", she asked softly.

V dropped his gaze, shrugging. "Maybe."

"You like him?"

"A lot."

"He likes you?"

"I'm sure he does."

Panam smiled a warm smile and put a hand on his shoulder. "Then I am happy for you, V. You deserve it." Her smile faded and suddenly a hint of worry crossed her face. "Does he know about...", she started and V nodded.

"Yeah."

Conversation over. No talking about the biochip.

For a while they sat in awkward silence. Panam wasn't sure what to say to a dying man... she'd already assured him that he had a family and that this family would do everything to help him save his life from the biochip.

But then Panam smiled again. She'd seen a part of V in those messages, a part he didn't show. In the end she'd been right – he had a soft side. Somewhere inside of the man in front of her was a caring, loving person. A person who would send smileys to his lover and tell him that he missed him. And she suddenly found herself to be okay with the fact that she wasn't the one receiving those words.

"So...", she said. "... tell me about your first date with him?"

V gave her a surprised look. For a second or two she could swear that he would just block again, not answering her question. But then he relaxed a bit and she noticed something warm in his eyes and that hint of a smile on his face.

"Well it was on top of a roof, Night City to our feet..."