Lorelai lifted her hands to her cheeks.
"Oh, Rory..." was all she could say.
"Hey everybody!" Rory called to the busy group before them, "She's here!"
Everyone lifted their heads momentarily to wave and smile, or to shout a greeting or joke and Lorelai happily waved back. She caught and held Luke's eye a moment too before he resumed digging a hole to plop a rosemary bush in. She breathed deep of the sunshine and fresh air then, and felt a shiver of happiness wiggle its way down her spine.
And then all she could do was look about her and take it all in with her mouth hanging open: She saw Taylor and Andrew arguing over the best way to unload the bushes off the back of Luke's truck. She saw all twelve Gleason brothers digging and planting the neat rows which would grow into hedge walls one day. Gypsy and Jackson were consulting over the plans he'd drawn up, and Luke had now moved on to straightening the benches set up in the open middle of the maze, where the many hedged paths joined, orienting them to face the simple birdbath at the very center.
"Come on, Lorelai," her mother said at her ear. "You should sit down."
She nodded, too happy and tearful at once to speak.
Emily led her to the side of the activity where Sookie was setting up a table of refreshments and Lulu sat holding Davey in the shade of a stand of trees.
"Lorelai! Isn't this great?!" crowed Sookie. "Surprise! Surprise!"
"Oh Sookie, this is more than great," Lorelai leaned in to hug her. "I'm overwhelmed."
"Sit! Sit!" said Sookie gesturing to a nearby bench.
"I should probably help," said Lorelai as she watched Rory move among the workers to take pictures.
"Nonsense, you're only allowed to be here if you rest," Emily told her.
"The Jane Austen people will love this, Lorelai," Lulu smiled at her.
"To hell with them! I love it!"
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It was early evening when it was finished and everyone sat about lazily under trees and in lawn chairs admiring their work and munching on Sookie's delicacies. From her perch curled up on the garden bench, Lorelai looked over shyly at Luke where he sat nearby leaning against a thick tree trunk, Taylor yaking away at him. He caught her eye and smiled softly at her. She smiled right back, her breath catching a little.
Rory stood up then and called for attention. "Ladies and Gentlemen, on behalf of the Gilmore family, we would like to thank you for all your hard work," she paused to take a scrap of paper out of her pocket while they clapped. "I looked this up this morning. It is from Shakespeare. From Hamlet, to be precise: It says 'Here's rosemary, that's for remembrance.' I know my mother and grandmother and I will always remember our good friends and neighbors who have helped us out so much here today, whenever we look at this wonderful hedge maze."
This brought many murmurs of approval and warm clapping.
"It'll be an excellent draw for tourists, too!" called the ever practical Taylor.
That brought an entirely different kind of colorful commentary from the crowd.
Lorelai stood up then, "I don't really know what to say. My daughter here, as you know, is the educated one. She can quote literature impressively. I can only talk often and fast!" Everyone laughed knowingly at that. "But it does seem to me," she added thoughtfully, "That Ophelia chic, who wandered around mumbling crazy incoherent stuff, was the one who said that in Hamlet... So I think Rory chose a very appropriate quote indeed."
"I was hoping you wouldn't pick up on that part," said Rory drily.
And everyone laughed at again.
"But, seriously, I have to say how grateful I am to have Stars' Hollow in my life. A place that has never failed to make me happy. And how wonderful.." she choked up a little here, "...you all are. And I am especially glad to have my daughter and mother with me today to share this. And Luke too, of course," she smiled over at him. "So thank you, friends. And on that teary note, let's crack open the beer!"
No one seemed opposed to that at all.
Lorelai watched then as her friends passed the bottles around from the cooler then wandered over to walk the maze. When she was finally at the patch of lawn in the center, she sat down pensively on a bench to gaze at the bird bath.
"Jackson says that next year we'll have to build one of those high wooden chairs on the perimeter, like a tennis umpire sits on. So people can be guided out if they get lost."
Lorelai put her hand up to shield her eyes from the glow of the setting sun, and Luke's face, bathed in a halo of the light, came into focus.
"I brought you a beer," he added.
"Thanks," she said and reached for it.
He pulled it back at the last moment, "Are you allowed to have beer? I didn't even check first."
"I think one beer will be okay," she smiled.
"If you're sure..."
"I am," she nodded. "Sit down, Luke."
He sat down on the edge of the bench next to her, and leaned forward to rest his elbows on his knees, his eyes intent on the ground.
"So," she went on, "I got your message this morning."
He smiled but kept his gaze down, "Yeah?"
"Yeah. And I have to say that your.. method of... delivery... was genius."
"Just an idea I had," he said casually and took a drink of his beer.
"Ummhmm," she said knowingly. "Well, it was... appreciated."
"Good, glad to hear it," he responded and looked at her.
She smiled at him. He smiled back.
"However..." she continued thoughtfully, "I was a little confused as to what you were apologizing for exactly."
"Exactly? Nothing exactly. Just everything, I guess. For wanting to be there, and... not being there, I suppose."
She nodded. "I was fine Luke. I didn't need you." she told him calmly.
He looked right at her, "Bullshit." he said.
She felt her resolve crumble in a rush and turned away to hold back the tears, to press down the lump, to calm her quivering breath. To just get a damn grip.
"Really, Luke. It's been boring at home, that's for certain... And I know you were trying to deal with it all... I was fine," she lied.
"Crap." he said. "You were scared. And you'll probably never admit that to me. But you were. And I was always the 'we'll handle it together' guy, and then I fell apart," his said in disgust and looked away himself.
They both took big drinks of beer then.
"I've missed you," she finally said.
He looked back at her, "How is it you can always forgive?" he asked. "I suck at forgiving. It takes me years to forgive."
She shrugged, "Comes from being a colossal screw-up myself, I guess."
He digested that a moment. "I missed you too," he finally said. "Can I take you home later?"
"Oh Luke, I don't know..." she looked down.
"What? What is it, Lorelai? I know you've forgiven my freak-out. I know we need each other, but I'm feeling like you're pulling back. Do you not trust me? Is that it?" he asked in exasperation.
"Oh Luke, I trust you more than I trust myself, I think," she said sincerely.
"Then what?" he repeated.
"There's just a lot to work out, Luke," she sighed.
"So, let's work it out—together," he insisted.
"I don't know if we can, Luke."
"I do. I know we can..." Lorelai could hear the fear in his voice.
"Look, I'm gonna go home now. It's been a big day." She stood up then and looked down at him. "Thank you for everything you've done here, Luke. 'Bye." she turned to walk back to Rory and her mother then, continuing to walk even after she heard him call after her.
When she got to the food table, she put her hands down on it and leaned a moment, taking a deep breath.
"Oh hey, Sweetie, do you want a piece of cake?" asked Sookie brightly.
"No."
"I've got ice cream here, I just made it inside," she enticed.
"No..."
"How about...?" Sookie was about to try again.
"No Sookie! I don't want anything! Do you get it?!"
"Yeah, I get it," said Sookie, her eyes wide.
Lorelai sighed then and lay her hand atop her friend's, "Sookie, I'm sorry. I'm not angry at you. I'm angry at the way I feel right now... at my situation... Everything you've done is great..."
"Oh, honey, you should have said something sooner.." said Sookie in instant concern. "Emily!" She called Lorelai's mother over. "I think Lorelai needs to go home."
"Oh, I hadn't realized how long we'd been here," said Emily, sizing up the situation immediately. "Rory, come over here!" She turned to the group then and called out; " Listen, everyone, I'm going to take Lorelai home now. Thank you for everything!"
Lorelai heard the irritating murmurs of concern then.
"No, no, she's fine," smiled Emily "I'm the old lady here—I'm a little tired."
Lorelai smiled at her mother for that.
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After riding home in silence, the three Gilmore women alighted from the car and headed up the newly laid path to the house.
"This walk is nice," observed Emily.
Lorelai looked over at her mother. "Mom, it's getting late. Do you want to stay here tonight?" she offered.
"No," smiled Emily, "I promised your father I'd meet him at home. He likes to have me there in the evenings."
"Well, good," smiled Lorelai. "Isn't that good, Rory?"
"That's great," Rory agreed smiling too.
They all turned then to see Luke's truck pull into the driveway. Luke got out and walked angrily over to the group of women at the porch.
"Lorelai," he yelled, "We are not finished!"
He stopped a few feet away from them, eyes glaring.
"Luke, I'm —"
"Tired? Yes, I know that, Lorelai, but you're just going to have to wait a damn minute, before you shut me out again."
"Before I shut you out?!" she barked and crossed over to him, her hands on her hips. "Now, that my friend, is rich!"
"I told you I want to be a part of this! That I want you—Us! That we are supposed to face things together now. And I know I screwed up at the beginning, but I'm over that now."
"Well, that's just great!" said Lorelai.
"So you don't walk away when we are talking about things," he told her.
Emily and Rory watched in fascination.
"Luke, I don't know..." Lorelai looked down in frustration.
"What? What don't you know?!" he yelled. "Have you decided that you don't love me anymore? Is that it?"
Lorelai continued to stare at the ground.
"Well, have you?" he continued. "Lorelai, look at me and tell me that you don't love me anymore," he demanded hoarsely.
She looked up and met his eyes, her own full of tears.
"I can't," she said softly.
Luke breathed deeply in relief. "Then what?" he asked. "Tell me what it is, Lorelai, so I can fix it."
"It's me!" she said, crying now, "You can't fix me!"
He stared at her, unable to answer that.
"Mom," Rory interceded gently, "You told me we would handle this as a family," she reminded her.
"Rory," said Lorelai tearfully, "Luke's not..."
"Yes, he is Mom," Rory insisted, "He's been family for a long time now. Why can't he face this with us if he wants to? If he loves you and you love him?" she asked. Lorelai looked down again and then up at Luke.
"Lorelai," she turned her head to Emily's voice now, "I know the last thing you want is my opinion, but I'm going to give it to you, anyway."
Lorelai groaned.
"You have always been independent. Even as a child you were independent. I would lose you all the time because you would go off fearlessly to explore things. You scared the hell out of me all the time. And.. later... when you left with Rory. I was hurt. I wanted to be needed. But I never doubted for a moment that you wouldn't be okay." Lorelai looked up at her mother at that. "But now... Now, as I am facing a different part of my life, I need to share with you... I need to tell you as an older woman, and as your mother that... independence is sometimes... over-rated. And that needing someone... well, it can be the best thing in the world, if it's the right person."
"You want someone to take care of me because I'm sick? Is that it?" asked Lorelai.
"No, I want you to be with someone who you love and who loves you back, and for whom the illness is just a tedious sidebar to be dealt with like—like an annoying mother-in-law," she said ruefully.
"Lorelai," said Luke, "I love you. I do. And I'm sorry you have to deal with feeling crappy. But when it all comes down to it at the end of the day, there is no one else I want to talk to, or be with, or get angry with, or laugh with, than you. And, as far as I can see, that's what it's really all about."
Lorelai smiled through her tears, "It's really 'all about' hanging out?"
"Yep," he nodded, "And finding the absolutely right person to hang out with. There is nothing I want more in my life than that. And the right person for that job, for me, is you. That's all I want."
"You want children," she corrected him. "And I may not be able to do that."
"I never said that," he said.
She shot him a meaningful look at that.
"Well, there are lots of ways to children, if we want that, Lorelai. This isn't some romance novel. We don't have to have an instant nuclear family with a Volvo and a dog." he said, the hope in his voice rising.
"We just have to love each other and 'hang out'?" she clarified.
"Well, there's some other stuff too," he allowed himself a little smile on that.
"Why do I feel like I've just had the granddaddy of all relationship interventions?" she said in exasperation and crossed to sit on the porch steps. She put her head down to think a moment.
When she lifted it, she looked at him clear-eyed, "What do you want, Luke?" she asked him.
"You," he said without hesitation.
"No, I mean what do you want specifically?"
"Oh." he nodded in understanding. He ran his hand over his face and looked at the three expectant women before him. He lifted his head and looked back at her. "I want in on this family," he said. "I want to be here every day. And when Rory goes back to school, I want to move in. I want you to count on me. I want to count on you. I want to be more for Rory too. And if you can accept all that, and get used to me too... then I want you to consider me seriously... for the long term," he expelled a breath after that.
Lorelai stared at him quietly.
"But... your apartment... you love your apartment...."
"I don't give a damn about that apartment," he said. "And, frankly, this house needs me even if you don't."
Lorelai looked down, "Wow." was all she could get out.
"Quit stalling, Lorelai," he commanded.
She looked up once again. "Will you make me coffee every morning?"
"Will you shut the hell up when I watch your stupid movies?" he countered.
Emily and Rory looked back and forth between them, transfixed.
"Answer, Mom! Before I have a frickin' heart attack," yelled Rory.
"What do you think, Rory?" she asked her daughter with a smile.
Rory rolled her eyes. "Quit stalling, Mom."
Lorelai smiled and looked at Luke then. "I love you so much," she said.
"Took you long enough," he groused in return.
She stood up and walked over to him then. They stared at each other for a moment, a sort of challenge, small smiles playing around their mouths, before he reached over and pulled her to him.
"Rory, go pack a bag, you're coming to Hartford with me tonight. Leave your mother a note." whispered Emily as she slipped away to her car.
Lorelai and Luke were too occupied to notice.