Chapter Nine
Lost in her.

Morning came and they continued on their way to Guadosalam, everyone seemed to be in a rather pensive mode Auron thought. Of course they could just be tired because this was the first time they had slept on the hard ground in weeks, between travel agencies and the ship the group was getting quite spoiled. Auron was under the opinion that they should just keep walking and traveling through Guadosalam, through the Moonflow, down the highroad and then into the Mushroom Rock area, but he had a feeling that once the group came to Guadosalam they would be boarding the ship to sleep whenever possible.

Returning to Guadosalam would be interesting, it was the second time they arrived, the first since the grand wedding debacle. With Seymour now gone, or at least for now. He hoped that they wouldn't be run out of town. Surprisingly ever since they had defeated Yunalesca the temple of Yu Yevon had performed an abrupt about face about the so called traitorous nature of the group. Or perhaps, Auron thought, not so surprisingly the Church of Yu Yevon always knew when to cut their losses, or at least when they should.

Auron's introspection was interrupted by a fiend. He quickly took care of it, but the fiend seemed to wake up the rest of the group. Everyone, while not bright and sunshiny, except of course his Rikku, was at least attempting to stay alert. Although now that he looked at her again, Rikku seemed to be rather sad. It seemed she was finally beginning to understand that this journey would end in loss. At least someone would not be coming home.

Auron hated that she had to face these realities so early in her life, but perhaps it was for the best. Perhaps this would help her understand. Life was cruel, life was unfair. But perhaps now as he was beginning to understand. Love helped. Hmpf, Auron thought as he listened to himself, honestly when did he become a philosopher.

Hey little one, what are you thinking?

This worried Auron, Rikku never gave short answers she was famous for tumbling over her words and talking and chattering when she was nervous. Hmm...Auron was at a loss, he was not the most emotional intelligent person and he didn't know what to do. He often found that if he stayed silent long enough, the other person would open up. Perhaps that would work this time.





Never mind

They continued walking. Fought a few fiends and were actually approaching the city before she spoke again.





What if you aren't there? What if you go away? Who will look at the stars with me, and show me the shapes of the clouds? Who will be there like you are? Rikku spilled out her questions in rapid successions as if speaking the words brought the fears to life.

Auron pondered her questions for a long time, he couldn't promise that he would always be there because he might not. But he would always be in her heart. Auron pondered and pondered and pondered until he tripped over a tree root and barely caught himself.

I know I promised I'd always be there to watch you until you feel asleep, I promised I'd be there to examine the clouds with you, but...it might not always be in person.

How will you be there then.

Remember the happy family constellation? Even though the girl's family had died she knew that they were alive in her heart, and thus they were alive. As long as you remember and care for me, I will be there.

But then all you will be is a memory, which is no better than visiting the farplane in Guadosalam where all you see is memories.

I don't know Rikku, if I had my choice I would never leave you, but...

You'd never leave me? Auron looked up at her sudden emotional shift.

I thought I made that quite clear, I lo--

Hey you slowpokes hurry up. Tidus yelled back from the front of the group. Auron and Rikku hurried to the front but now Auron was berating himself for almost telling her, almost telling her that he loved her. Hmpf indeed.

Lulu, Wakka and Tidus decided to head to the farplane, but Yuna and Rikku walked into Rin's travel agency to freshen up they said. Kimhari and Auron started cleaning weapons and refreshing their supplies.

Lulu came back, Venus crest securely in tow. And Auron went to round up the remaining two members of the group, Yuna and Rikku. As he stealthily moved closer to them he heard his darling girl crying.

Yunie...I swear he was about to say it. I love him so much I just wish I knew if he felt the same.

I'm sure he'll tell you in time.

But we don't have much time Yunie! Oh Yunie I'm so sorry I shouldn't be complaining to you, you must be so worried about Tidus too. I'm so sorry.

It's okay, now why don't we head back to the group, they must be looking for us by now.

Auron moved backwards quickly so that by the time Yuna and Rikku came walking out from where they were. It appeared as if he was walking towards them.

Ah there you two are. Lulu is all set so the choice is up to you Yuna. Do we head back to the woods to get their ultimates, or do we do head out to the Highroad and Mushroom Rock for myself and Rikku.

I don't know Sir Auron, it's getting late in the day, perhaps we should head back up to the ship and spend the night there before we do anything.

Auron silently lead them back to the group, while trying to covertly sneak glances back at Rikku. Could she actually love him? He heard her say the words out loud, but could it be? Could she feel the way about him that he felt about her? If he hadn't heard her crying he would never have believed it. He had much to think about.

The group agreed to head back up to the ship, although to Auron it seemed as if they were clinging to the moments that they had. That the entire party didn't want to go any further. But he was one of them and he didn't have the heart to hurry them along. No doubt that they would spend a whole day in the woods getting Lulu and Kimhari's ultimate and then a few days searching for and obtaining Rikku's and his ultimate weapons. Auron almost expected them to start protesting that Wakka needed his ultimate, but he knew that would never fly. The final battle was in sight. They were living on borrowed time.

A grim desperate air of having fun appeared, as if they thought they could ignore it all while they partied, but even that had an edge of hopelessness to it. Auron and Kimhari left early, Auron went to what was beginning to feel like his second home on the ship, the observation deck. He didn't know what to do. Part of him said that he should tell Rikku that he loved her, but another part said it was very unlikely that he would survive this final encounter and that he should never have gotten involved with her in the first place. He was about ready to growl.

I thought I'd find you up here. Rikku softly said as she came and stood behind him wrapping her arms around his waist, resting her head on his back.

Auron decided it would be better to hurt her now leave her wondering so he turned around to face her about to tell her that he hated her.

I ha-love you Tysh that hadn't come out like he had wanted. Now he would never be able to retract it and have her believe it. And the look on her face when she heard those words would be one of those memories he would carry with him forever, she looked so happy. So beautiful. The moonlight reflected through the clouds and then off her face.

The clouds are bright tonight as they shine off your face. Auron continued as he pulled her in for a kiss. He felt her arms wrap around him and he briefly thought that he understood the reluctance of the rest of the group, but soon he found himself lost in the kiss. Lost in the taste of her, lost her unique scent, lost in the feeling of her hair as it caressed him. He was lost. Totally. Utterly irreversibly. Lost in her.

A/N: so yep Auron finally admitted it, out loud, to her. And the journey to Sin is almost complete, what every are our two love birds to do.