Carrie and Elrond rode back to Rivendell in silence for the most part. The elf seemed to be rather preoccupied, and every time Carrie tried to talk with him, he would answer her courteously, but in a way that indicated that he was in no mood for idle conversation.
So Carrie resigned herself to several more days, on a horse, with nothing to occupy her but her own thoughts. This however did not pose the problem of boredom that it may have, but rather of an onslaught of uncontrolled thoughts flying in and out of her head as quickly as Elrond's horse ran across the plains. Her only respite was the few brief hours of sleep that she was able to obtain at night when they stopped along the way. During her waking hours, her mind was a disorganized mess, a cacophony of questions, and her brain's desperate attempt to answer them all.
Should she have gone to Gondor? No. Why had Eowyn turned on her? Who cares, she's a horrible person anyway. Where did all that with Eomer come from? He's a man. They suck. Would Legolas be ok in battle? Of course! He's a warrior. Are you sure? Yes. Are you positive? Shut up! What is that awful smell? It's horse. Get used to it. What happens when this is all over? … Well? Didn't give that much thought, hmm? Um…
Carrie hadn't given it much thought, caught up as she had been in things that were currently happening. Now was one of the first times that she had the opportunity to step back from the situation and actually look at it. Sure, she had thought about home, but she had always pushed it out of her mind, figuring that she would deal with her decision when and if the time came. She had never actually weighed her possible options.
But now her mind was too jumbled to consider anything rationally, so she found herself once again pushing these thoughts away from her, and once more trying to just deal with the situation at hand. Unfortunately, there wasn't much of a situation to use as a distraction this time, since riding on horseback with a taciturn elf didn't lend itself to much diversion. So after days of travel, the sight of Rivendell was a great relief to Carrie.
Elrond slowed the horse to a trot as they descended into the valley of Rivendell. Carrie noticed a difference from the last time she was here, subtle though it was. The house of Elrond seemed to be, well, fading somehow. She couldn't put her finger on what gave her that impression, but it was there nonetheless. She was startled out of her reverie by an elf dropping down soundlessly out of one of the trees in front of them.
He looked briefly at Carrie with what appeared to be only mild interest and then turned his attention to Elrond, putting his fist to his chest and giving him a slight but respectful bow. "Mae Govannen." He then switched his language out of apparent courtesy to Carrie. "Welcome back to Imladris, lord."Elrond pulled the horse up to a stop and bowed his head once at the elf. "Mae Govannen, Talion. I trust that all has been well since my departure."
"It has." His eyes focused briefly on Carrie before he quickly looked back at Elrond with a questioning glance. If Elrond noticed his behavior, he made no indication. After a moment the elf bowed once more and stepped to the side of the road. "I return to my post. Good day, Lord Elrond." He paused a moment and then included Carrie in his departing words with a nod of his head and a perfunctory, "Lady."
The elf jumped up and disappeared into the trees faster than Carrie's eyes could follow. She looked at Elrond, who apparently was not at all surprised by this elf's behavior. She let the matter lie, since this was apparently business as usual for the elves of Rivendell. She did not have much more time to think about it, since they quickly approached the building in which Carrie's room was located the last time she was here.
Elrond dismounted and helped Carrie down off the horse. Some elves appeared out of what seemed like thin air and took his horse, leading it away to the stables. Elrond tried to locate someone who could escort Carrie back to her room and provide her with anything she needed after the journey. When Carrie had declared several times that she was able to find the room, if it was indeed the same one as it had been the last time she was here, and that she needed nothing, he relented to allow her to go by herself. She started in the direction of the room and turned back to thank him, not knowing what else to do, but he was already gone.
She spent much of the rest of that first day there in her room, catching up on the sleep that she had been missing during her journey, and the week before. When she woke, her mind continued to be a confused jumble of questions, and worries plagued her about what possible deviations could be taking place in the battle, possibly caused by her interference. What if things did indeed go wrong? What would happen then, if the tide of the battle turned ill for her friends? Maybe Legolas had been right. Maybe she should have journeyed to Galadriel and bid her send her home.
The next morning, she woke to a knock at her door. She went to open it and saw Estella standing there. Neither said anything for a moment until Carrie started crying. Estella hugged her and they stood there like that for several minutes until Carrie got herself under control.
"Estella..." Carrie did not know how to convey everything she wanted to say to this elf. How could she sum up all she was feeling into words? "Thank you."
Estella smiled at her, but Carrie could see confusion in the elf's eyes. "All is not well?"
Carrie walked over to the bed and flopped down onto it. "No." Tears started to form again. "All is not well." She sat up and smiled at the elf. "But you were right. So thank you."
Estella came over and sat down next to Carrie. "I was right?"
"About Legolas." Saying his name caused the tears that had formed in Carrie's eyes to fall down her cheeks.
"He indeed has feelings for you?" she asked, while placing a comforting hand on Carrie's shoulder.
Carrie looked down at her hands. "I guess you could say that."
Estella continued to pry, the intrigue apparent in her voice. "And you told him of the feelings you had for him?"
Carrie laughed cynically and continued to examine her hands. "I guess you could say that too."
Estella was silent for a moment before she asked, "So what happened when you got there? What did he say when he saw you?"
Carrie thought back. It seemed like ages had passed since the day she had arrived at Helms Deep. In reality, it had been a little under two weeks. 'Only two weeks!' thought Carrie and shook her head. She finally glanced up and, seeing the expectant look in Estalla's eyes, realized she was waiting for an answer. What had Legolas said when she got there? Oh, that's right.
"He told me Aragorn was dead and that I shouldn't have come." Carrie said blandly and laughed inwardly at this, and at Estella's startled expression.
"But..." Estella obviously couldn't understand how this sentiment made her right.
"But after that, later on, he told me he loved me." Carrie briefly glanced away and when she looked back she saw a mixture of surprise and delight on Estella's face.
"So what did you do after he told you that?" Estella asked in breathy eagerness.
"I...uh...well, we...um...sort of..." Carrie felt the blush rise up her cheeks and she lost the ability to speak. She heard Legolas' voice in her head. 'Because, I love you too...' She dropped her eyes. She remembered quite vividly what they had done after Legolas said that to her.
Estella stood up. "You don't mean that you…"
Carrie looked up and saw complete astonishment, disbelief and another emotion she couldn't quite place on the elf's face. She felt her face get even hotter at Estella's startled expression. Temporarily at a loss for words, she grinned sheepishly and nodded her head.
Estella's eyes got even wider, if that was at all possible. "You...you...you..." she stammered in shock.
Carrie's blush deepened even further. "Don't say anything," she implored.
"But...but..." Estella sputtered, completely un-elf-like. This information shook up Estella quite a bit more than Carrie would have expected. "Do you know what this means?"
Carrie looked at her, baffled by the intensity of her reaction. "Yes," she said with a shrug. Seriously, it was a big deal, but it shouldn't elicit this sort of response.
Estella sighed, blinked a few times and shook her head. "Well as long as you know the significance."
Carrie looked at her impatiently. "Yes, I do." She rolled her eyes. "I may not be two thousand years old, but I think I know what I'm doing..."
Estella smiled at her, her elven composure once more in place. "Of course you do, milady."
Carrie sighed. "Oh, no I don't. I have no idea what I'm doing." She shrugged. "But what can you do, right? I can't help it. I love him." Carrie startled herself with that statement. It had come out of her mouth so easily. It was true. She did love him. She shook her head at that. Who would have thought that night when she spotted him in the audience that it would come to this.
Home. Carrie's mind couldn't help but keep returning there, and yet, she didn't know if she could ever go back. Yes, she had the feeling that she was supposed to go home. Yes, she had family and friends there that she would miss terribly, who would miss her and worry about her. Yes, she was terribly afraid to stay here, but she really didn't think she would have the heart to return home. Not now. How had it come to this? How was it that she was ready to throw her whole life away for the love of a man…elf…whatever.
Estella's laugh broke into Carrie's thoughts. "It sounds to me that you at least know the important things."
Carrie couldn't help but smile at her. 'Elves!' she thought to herself. They were all turning out to be nothing like she would have expected. Their emotions ran so deep, and were wont to change at the drop of a hat. But if you were around an elf, and they were in good spirits, you couldn't help but share in their happiness.
Allowing the blissful emotions to envelop her, Carrie felt her worries and questions fade, at least for the time being. She continued to talk with Estella, filling her in on all that was going on in the world. Estella listened in rapt attention, especially to those parts of Carrie's account that had to do with Legolas. It was so apparent that Carrie's suspicion grew until it reached a fever pitch and against all better judgement, and a warning in her head, she stopped her narrative to question Estella.
Estella tilted her head and cocked one eyebrow at Carrie's abrupt halt. Carrie took a deep breath and without further hesitation blurted out the question on her mind.
"Why are you so interested?" Carrie saw the elf furrow her eyebrows in confusion and tried to clarify. "Why do you care? I mean, why have you been so helpful? I mean, I'm grateful that you were, but I just don't get why."
Estella smiled benevolently at Carrie and nodded her head. "I guess it would seem strange to you, since you don't know."
Carrie, flawed and human as she was, felt the unmistakable and rather unwarranted bite of jealousy. She narrowed her eyes at Estella and spoke in a dangerously low tone. "Know what?"
Just then there was a knock at the door, which Estella went to go answer. It was a messenger from Lord Elrond, summoning Estella. There was a company of elves setting out for the Gray Havens with Lady Arwen, and she was to accompany them. While the messenger waited, Estella turned to Carrie.
"My lady Carrie, it has been a pleasure to know you."
Carrie was not going to be that easily dissuaded. "Know what?" she repeated.
Estella smiled at her one last time. "Legolas is my little brother."
Carrie stood rooted to her spot, so in shock she was. Estella embraced her and Carrie automatically hugged her back, her brain not yet able to property function. Estella released her and Carrie stood gaping at her, still not able to respond.
"May your ways be ever fair." Carrie did not, could not, respond. "I am delighted to have known you, but I must depart." Carrie nodded dumbly, not sure what else she would be capable of doing at this point. "If you are ever reunited with my brother, please give him my love, and my wish that one day I will see him again." She turned and Carrie watched as she followed the messenger out of the room, leaving Carrie alone once again, with even more to think about than she had before.
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It took Carrie a while for the initial shock of Estella's revelation to fade. Once it had, she only stayed in her room for a short while before she went to search out someone to talk to, not wanting to be alone, not wanting to think about anything, anymore. Despite her distracted state, she noticed subtle differences in her surroundings. Unlike the last time she was in Rivendell, it was strangely deserted. There were no elves walking the paths, or singing in the trees, or laughing in the gardens. Feeling dejected at this absence of gaiety, which could have diverted her from her thoughts and raised her spirits, she wandered through the halls until she found Elrond, standing on a terrace, looking out into the forest. He did not turn when she approached, although he must have heard her.
"Lord Elrond," Carrie said in greeting. He merely nodded at her. After a long silence, he turned to her.
"Lady Carrie, tell me, what do you know of my daughter." Elrond's eyes were pleading. "Does she make it to the Gray Havens? Does she safely board the ship that will bear her west?"
Carrie's heart broke at his tone and she dropped her eyes. How could she answer his question? She knew that Arwen came back and chose love and a mortal life over the immortality that was due her as an elf. Once again she found herself evading a question posed to her by an elf.
She looked up at him resolutely. "Lord Elrond, it was you who told me to be discreet about who I shared my knowledge with. So with all due respect, I cannot answer your question."
"Please," Elrond begged her. "I must know. For if she is in danger, I will ride out and protect her from whatever threatens her safety."
Carrie was filled with pity for him, and she relented, giving him information she hoped would not be too destructive. "Your daughter is not in any danger. She remains safe. That is all I can tell you in good conscience." He turned and looked back out in the direction that the caravan of elves had departed and they stood there for a moment in silence before he spoke to her in a complete change of subject.
"There is a way for you to return home."
Carrie stood and stared at him, not sure if she had heard him correctly. She shook her head and blinked a few times.
"Come again?"
He turned and faced her with a comforting smile. "The time is not yet upon you. I just wish for you to know that when the time comes, you will have a means of returning home."
Not knowing how to respond to that, Carrie stared blankly back at him. Once again, he turned and looked off into the distance, leaving Carrie struggling with the words he had just spoken, on top of everything else. After several minutes of trying to stop her mind from spinning, she once again spoke.
"Please excuse me, Lord Elrond. I do not feel well and I wish to return to my room."
Elrond nodded at her without turning to look back at her. Carrie left him then and trudged slowly back to her room.
Thank you, again, reviewers for your time and kind words. Updates should come quickly now, as the story is, for all intents and purposes, finished! Hurray!
Lady Aranel: Wicked little brain? Muah ha ha. Just wait and see! And I would have loved a few more hot elves to drool over in the movies too…
Lainfaer: Consider it brought..brung…um, you know what I mean. Arguments are always fun…
Jack-Sparrow-Lover: Legolas will be back soon, mate. He has some fighting to do… :)
BtchieChrissy: Mmm…chocolate Legolas…mmm…Thanks!
nap-003: You didn't see that coming? He's been hitting on her the whole time. wink Well, not really, but it was a fun twist to write.
lathalian: I have thought about all of that. Carrie could wreak havoc on the story. (In fact she has, causing "all the movie nonsense" as Lady Aranel pointed out to me in an email.) But she is being careful, because she's afraid that any little thing she does could have dire consequences. (And rightfully so)
Crecy: Wow. You have quite an active imagination…I like that in a person…
PsychoPixie: We'll see if they make up. Eowyn is pretty angry.
ElvenDragon: Thanks for the review. Thick plots are always good!
Rhythmic Breathing: Thanks! I hope you enjoyed the rest of the chapters.
Amirel: Thanks! I'm glad you're enjoying it.
Lady Shannon Took: Wow! The best romance, really? I'm touched! I've tried to keep it real, but interesting at the same time. Thanks for the wonderful compliments.
SayDee27: Thank you for all the nice words!