Hello and welcome back to "Tales from the PPC: GS division". What? You say
it's not called that? Screw you.
=++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++= Chapter 2: In which we learn why adepts do not use lightsabers. =++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++=
I was very glad there were no Mary Sues in this one. Yes very. I was also unhappy because I also have to be the crossover department. A message to all you writers out there: THERE IS NO WAY THAT LUKE SKYWALKER WOULD GO THROUGH A PORTAL MADE BY "MAGIC" AND GIVE LIGHTSABERS TO FOUR COMPLETE STRANGERS!
In the world of plot, logic SHOULD apply. Thank you.
[Beeeeeeeeep]
I hit the "mute" button. The stupid console had been broken for about four days, but Makes-Things it too busy with higher-ranking agents do fix any of MY stuff.
I opened a portal and stepped through, letting the familiar guise of a Proxian settle around me.
I looked around. At this point, I had not yet mastered the "co-ordinate" feature on the portal, so I usually just portal to the location of the "GS crew".
"Isaac, I sense a disturbance in the force."
Hold on. Stop right there. Ivan can not sense the force, though I guess he IS the most Jedi-like adept. Not that that counts for much.
"Ivan, shut up. You're the only one who gets this 'force' thing anyway."
Phew. Lucky me. At least Isaac was still somewhat in character. I pulled out my handy Character analysis device.
[Name: Ivan, canon, OOC 73% CHARACTER RUPTURE]
[Name: Isaac, canon, OOC 23%]
[Name: Garet, canon, OOC 3%]
[Name: Mia, canon, OOC 50%]
Good. Other than Ivan, everyone seemed fine.
That was when Luke Skywalker showed up.
[Name: Luke Skywalker, noncanon OOC 100% CHARACTER RUPTURE]
Great. At least he will be leaving as soon as the adepts get their lightsabers.
"Greetings strangers. My name is Luke Skywalker. I sense that you have the power to be Jedi. Have a lightsaber."
With that, he handed the laser swords to the adepts and disappeared. I checked the analysis device again.
[Name: Ivan, canon, OOC 80% CHARACTER RUPTURE]
[Name: Isaac, canon OOC 56% character rupture imminent]
[Name: Garet, canon, OOC 35%]
[Name: Mia, canon, OOC 68% CHARACTER RUPTURE]
Crap. ½ of the characters were out of it, and a third was about to rupture. I hadn't seen a case this bad since. . . well. . . never.
The main problem was how to get the lightsabers away from the adepts. Luke was back in his canon, and therefore someone else's problem. Ha.
The group of adepts beat up on Tret using lightsabers. That was when they were interrupted by an avatar Sith lord.
"Puny adepts cannot defeat me!"
The Sith lord drew a triple bladed lightsaber, (do you know how weird that looked?) and proceeded to attack the adepts. Ivan fought him first, but somehow was defeated by the Sith lord.
The real Ivan would have had enough sense to use psynergy.
I decided to make my move. I stepped out from my hiding place, and quickly cast "halt" on the Sith lord. The adepts did nothing to me, as I was helping them.
"Random Sith guy, you are charged with screwing up the canon of Golden Sun and Star wars, killing Ivan, messing with the characters of Garet, Mia, Ivan and Isaac, using a triple bladed lightsaber, screwing up the laws of physics and common sense, and pissing me off. The punishment is death."
I picked up Ivan's lightsaber and ran the trapped Sith through. I used a quick pyroclasm to deal with the body. Good. Now I just had to deal with some lightsaber-wielding adepts. "If you lot would be so kind as to give my those lightsabers?" The group gripped them tighter, except for Isaac who was trying to get Ivan conscious again. "Guess not," I pulled out my Neuralizer, "Ok, look at the pretty lights!"
Flash.
I picked the lightsabers off of the adepts and threw them somewhere in the star wars continuum. (I love portals)
"Ok, you all just beat Trent, but Ivan fell in the battle. You're all going to go into town and talk to all of the former trees and forget that any of this ever happened. Ok?"
Before they could answer, I was gone.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++= Review!
=++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++= Chapter 2: In which we learn why adepts do not use lightsabers. =++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++=
I was very glad there were no Mary Sues in this one. Yes very. I was also unhappy because I also have to be the crossover department. A message to all you writers out there: THERE IS NO WAY THAT LUKE SKYWALKER WOULD GO THROUGH A PORTAL MADE BY "MAGIC" AND GIVE LIGHTSABERS TO FOUR COMPLETE STRANGERS!
In the world of plot, logic SHOULD apply. Thank you.
[Beeeeeeeeep]
I hit the "mute" button. The stupid console had been broken for about four days, but Makes-Things it too busy with higher-ranking agents do fix any of MY stuff.
I opened a portal and stepped through, letting the familiar guise of a Proxian settle around me.
I looked around. At this point, I had not yet mastered the "co-ordinate" feature on the portal, so I usually just portal to the location of the "GS crew".
"Isaac, I sense a disturbance in the force."
Hold on. Stop right there. Ivan can not sense the force, though I guess he IS the most Jedi-like adept. Not that that counts for much.
"Ivan, shut up. You're the only one who gets this 'force' thing anyway."
Phew. Lucky me. At least Isaac was still somewhat in character. I pulled out my handy Character analysis device.
[Name: Ivan, canon, OOC 73% CHARACTER RUPTURE]
[Name: Isaac, canon, OOC 23%]
[Name: Garet, canon, OOC 3%]
[Name: Mia, canon, OOC 50%]
Good. Other than Ivan, everyone seemed fine.
That was when Luke Skywalker showed up.
[Name: Luke Skywalker, noncanon OOC 100% CHARACTER RUPTURE]
Great. At least he will be leaving as soon as the adepts get their lightsabers.
"Greetings strangers. My name is Luke Skywalker. I sense that you have the power to be Jedi. Have a lightsaber."
With that, he handed the laser swords to the adepts and disappeared. I checked the analysis device again.
[Name: Ivan, canon, OOC 80% CHARACTER RUPTURE]
[Name: Isaac, canon OOC 56% character rupture imminent]
[Name: Garet, canon, OOC 35%]
[Name: Mia, canon, OOC 68% CHARACTER RUPTURE]
Crap. ½ of the characters were out of it, and a third was about to rupture. I hadn't seen a case this bad since. . . well. . . never.
The main problem was how to get the lightsabers away from the adepts. Luke was back in his canon, and therefore someone else's problem. Ha.
The group of adepts beat up on Tret using lightsabers. That was when they were interrupted by an avatar Sith lord.
"Puny adepts cannot defeat me!"
The Sith lord drew a triple bladed lightsaber, (do you know how weird that looked?) and proceeded to attack the adepts. Ivan fought him first, but somehow was defeated by the Sith lord.
The real Ivan would have had enough sense to use psynergy.
I decided to make my move. I stepped out from my hiding place, and quickly cast "halt" on the Sith lord. The adepts did nothing to me, as I was helping them.
"Random Sith guy, you are charged with screwing up the canon of Golden Sun and Star wars, killing Ivan, messing with the characters of Garet, Mia, Ivan and Isaac, using a triple bladed lightsaber, screwing up the laws of physics and common sense, and pissing me off. The punishment is death."
I picked up Ivan's lightsaber and ran the trapped Sith through. I used a quick pyroclasm to deal with the body. Good. Now I just had to deal with some lightsaber-wielding adepts. "If you lot would be so kind as to give my those lightsabers?" The group gripped them tighter, except for Isaac who was trying to get Ivan conscious again. "Guess not," I pulled out my Neuralizer, "Ok, look at the pretty lights!"
Flash.
I picked the lightsabers off of the adepts and threw them somewhere in the star wars continuum. (I love portals)
"Ok, you all just beat Trent, but Ivan fell in the battle. You're all going to go into town and talk to all of the former trees and forget that any of this ever happened. Ok?"
Before they could answer, I was gone.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++= Review!