Well, thanks to BTFreek, we have a new PPC agent!
His name is Adrian, and he is 22 years old. That is all that will be revealed at this time.
Note: The "+" signs surround the telepathic messages of Marquis de Sod, the personnel officer.
=+++++++++++++++++++++++++++= PPC: GSD: The new guy =+++++++++++++++++++++++++++=
The Marquis de Sod looked disgruntled. About as disgruntled as a giant flower can look, anyway. +YOU again?+
Adrian smiled, "Yes. Me."
The flower picked up a file. It was a very BIG file. It said "Adrian, Star Trek Division, Department of Mary Sues" on it. The Marquis de Sod opened it, and pulled out the summary sheet. +Let's see, you were from the Star Trek division, but you got into too much trouble to stay any longer. Am I right so far?+
Adrian smiled, thinking of the pranks he had played on those Trekkie Jerks back in ST division, "Yes sir."
The Marquis nodded, +Right. Anyway, they sent you in for a transfer to the department of Bad Slash, but that just drove you insane. I understand that you just got out of the Department of mental recovery.+
"Yes sir."
+Then your former comrades at Star Trek division sent you to me to reassign you.+
"That's the story, sir."
The Marquis de Sod shook his head-thing. +Let's see, you have 5 counts of revealing the party to Canon characters, 3 counts of attempted homicide of possessed canon characters, 3 counts of bringing 21st century knowledge to the Canon when you shouted "Yes! I beat the Fusion Dragon!", "Yes! I beat the Doom dragon!", and "Yes! I beat Dullahan!", and 7 counts of playing gameboy during a potentially dangerous situation. That's everything.+
Adrian stared. "That's all?" He exclaimed, "I thought I was busted for gameboy at least 10 times!"
The Marquis de Sod ignored him, +I have no choice but to transfer you. You are now the second member of the Golden Sun division.+
"What department?" Adrian asked, a little confused. He had never seen the Marquis de Sod forget anything.
The Marquis de Sod gave a look that looked uncannily like an evil grin, even for a flower. +All of them.+
=++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++=
Rob was sitting at the console when Adrian arrived.
"Um. . . Hello." Adrian said as he opened the door, "I take it you're the other GS agent?"
Rob turned to look at the new guy, "Yes, I am. What are you in for?"
"Huh?" Adrian asked.
Rob smiled, "I know you used to be in Star Trek. What did you do to get busted down here?"
Adrian laughed, "I played a few tricks on the other agents. They were jerks anyways."
Rob laughed, "I know the Trekkies can be jerks sometimes. No matter what, don't try anything here. If you give us away to a Mary Sue, odds are you will end up in a very unpleasant situation: Dead."
Adrian was a little shocked at this lecture. He wasn't some sort of green recruit! "I know that. I worked in Star Trek for about 3 years!"
"That was Star Trek. The worst that could happen there was you would get thrown into a black hole or something. Here, when a Mary Sue kills you, it's instantaneous, painful and almost unblockable. First strike is crucial to winning here. If you don't get a halt or bind spell off almost immediately, you're toast."
Adrian glared, "Don't lecture me! I played the games you know."
Rob rolled his eyes, "There are no Mary Sues in the games. I'm not trying to lecture you, just warn you. Anyway, if we have to work together, we might as well try and get along. Make yourself comfortable."
Adrian stepped in and dropped his bags on the floor. "No furniture?"
Rob sighed, "I've been begging upstairs for furniture for ages. Maybe now that there are two of us, we'll get something. If you need somewhere to sit, I've heard that behind the console is quite nice."
Adrian stared, "You mean you don't sit there?"
Rob shook his head, "Nah. I like chairs myself."
Adrian dove for behind the console, almost breaking the desk. "Mine!" He shouted as he slammed onto the carpet.
Rob stared, wide-eyed. He was about to make a comment when
[BEEEEEEP][BEEEEEEEP]
Rob turned to the console. "Hmm. . . This is bad."
"What is?" Adrian asked.
Rob stood up and pulled him out from under the console. "Chosen one fic. It's really bad. A Mary Sue shows up at Venus lighthouse, makes everyone 'understand' each other, and then everyone teams up and goes to light the other lighthouses. Not only that, but she's got every male in the group fighting over her."
Adrian looked a little dangerous, "What does she do to Garet?"
Rob looked at the screen, and grimaced, "She has him as a total moron. He trips over his own shoelaces every other paragraph. On top of that, Garet sound like Og."
Adrian started looking really evil. "This one's mine." He said.
"Sure." Rob said.
Adrian punched up disguises on the console (Lemurian). Rob opened a portal, and two Lemurians stepped into the noon sun.
"Adrian you moron! LOWER! It's hot in the noon sun, you know!"
"Sorry Rob. I'm new at this."
Adrian opened another portal, and the two Lemurians stepped on to the streets of Lalivero.
"Wait, 'new at this'? You've been in Star Trek for about two years!"
"Rob, I was insane most of the time."
"Oh yeah."
Adrian looked around. "Hide! Here comes the sue!"
Both agents dived into the bushes, only to discover that they were really cactuses.
"Stupid desert." Rob growled. By this time, the Sue was standing in the center of town, where the two agents could easily observe her.
"Rob, she looks a lot like Sheba."
"That's because she is Sheba's 'older sister' who has realized her true power as a child of the gods."
"Well," Adrian said, "That's one thing to add to the charge list, God- moding."
"Yeah," Rob agreed, "but we have to wait until after Venus lighthouse. We haven't even gotten to the major breach of canon yet."
The sue started walking out of Lalivero, and two hidden PPC agents followed her.
At the foot of Venus lighthouse, the Mary Sue showed just what kind of god- like powers she had. She raised her arms, and was surrounded by a "matrix" of whirling light.
"Adrian, have you ever seen a matrix of light before?"
"No, I haven't. But it sure looks weird."
Rob smiled, "Remember people, beta readers are your friends."
Adrian tugged at Rob's sleeve. "Rob, seeing as how we can't fly, we should probably portal to the top."
Rob looked around. "Good idea. You've got the portal thingey."
Adrian opened a portal, and the two agents stepped to the top of the lighthouse, behind one of those statues.
"Isaac, listen to reason! Saturos and Menardi are trying to help!" The sue was desperately trying to get the groups to join.
"I wish we could skip this." Adrian said, "We both no that nothing will happen until she starts crying."
"This is new," Rob commented, "A sue who can be godlike and pitiful at the same time. Good thing none of the Psychology guys are here. They would spend days studying her."
Adrian shuddered. "Good thing."
Isaac was now explaining his point of view to the Sue.
"If the lighthouses are lit, then someone will take the power of alchemy and use it for evil. We can't let this happen! Even if it is you asking."
"Besides, Maris, you can't think that we would work alongside this scum?"
Rob was taking notes for a charge list. "Name: Maris," He muttered.
"But, you have to see reason, all of you!"
"She's going to start crying now." Adrian said with pure disgust. "I can't watch."
Adrian was right. The Sue broke down and started sobbing. Adrian almost threw up. Rob did throw up.
"Maris! Don't cry!" Isaac and Saturos yelled almost simultaneously.
Garet didn't bother yelling. He ran over and tried to comfort Maris.
Adrian pulled out his character analysis device.
[Name: Maris, Noncanon, Mary Sue]
[Name: Saturos, canon, OOC 79% CHARACTER RUPTURE]
Menardi started throwing up at the scene before her. Rob didn't blame her.
[Name: Menardi, canon OOC 32%]
[Name: Isaac, canon OOC 67% CHARACTER RUPTURE]
[Name: Ivan, canon OOC 32%]
"Psst. Rob."
"What is it Adrian?"
"Why isn't Ivan affected?"
"Simple," Rob said, "No one like a blonde midget. At least, most fangirls don't."
"What about the FBM?"
"That's mainly non-lusters and fanboys who like him because he's cool. If you want to lust, there are others."
"oh."
The sue had stopped crying, but only after receiving Saturos and Isaac's pledge to help her unseal alchemy. Garet had made the pledge too, but he wasn't important.
Behind the statue, the agents were preparing.
"Ready Adrian?" Rob asked.
"Ready." Adrian replied.
"Okay, Three. . . Two. . . One. . . NOW!" Rob shouted.
The agents leaped out from behind the statue, screaming their psynergy out simultaneously.
"Bind!" Rob shouted, just as Adrian yelled "Halt!"
Frozen in place, the Mary Sue could only stare. Isaac and Saturos were a more immediate problem. Garet tried to help the Sue, but Saturos shoved him away.
"Adrian."
"What?"
"Sunglasses. Now." Rob pulled out his neuralizer and pressed the pretty red button.
FLASH
Isaac and Saturos stared at each other, mortal enemies again. Garet, Mia and Ivan walked up behind Isaac. Menardi came to stand behind Saturos. Both groups ignored the agents, who quickly used a portal to get to a deserted clearing in some forest.
Rob spoke first. "Maris, you stand accused of disrupting canon, screwing with the characters of Saturos, Isaac, Garet and everyone else, creating abundant plotholes, making Menardi throw up, making me throw up, putting on the sappiest display I have ever seen, and being a Mary Sue. Your punishment is death."
"Don't forget pissing us off!" Adrian chimed in.
"Ahem." Rob said, "Do you have any last words that are not a dramatic speech?"
The Sue still couldn't move a muscle, but nobody really cared.
"Guess not. Adrian, I believe you wanted this one."
"Darn right." Adrian said, "We're going to have lots of fun together, aren't we little sue?"
"Don't take too long. Upstairs will get pissed off if we're too late."
"I know, I know."
The details of exactly what Adrian did to the sue are much too gruesome to include in this fanfiction. We will just leave it to your imagination.
REVIEW!
His name is Adrian, and he is 22 years old. That is all that will be revealed at this time.
Note: The "+" signs surround the telepathic messages of Marquis de Sod, the personnel officer.
=+++++++++++++++++++++++++++= PPC: GSD: The new guy =+++++++++++++++++++++++++++=
The Marquis de Sod looked disgruntled. About as disgruntled as a giant flower can look, anyway. +YOU again?+
Adrian smiled, "Yes. Me."
The flower picked up a file. It was a very BIG file. It said "Adrian, Star Trek Division, Department of Mary Sues" on it. The Marquis de Sod opened it, and pulled out the summary sheet. +Let's see, you were from the Star Trek division, but you got into too much trouble to stay any longer. Am I right so far?+
Adrian smiled, thinking of the pranks he had played on those Trekkie Jerks back in ST division, "Yes sir."
The Marquis nodded, +Right. Anyway, they sent you in for a transfer to the department of Bad Slash, but that just drove you insane. I understand that you just got out of the Department of mental recovery.+
"Yes sir."
+Then your former comrades at Star Trek division sent you to me to reassign you.+
"That's the story, sir."
The Marquis de Sod shook his head-thing. +Let's see, you have 5 counts of revealing the party to Canon characters, 3 counts of attempted homicide of possessed canon characters, 3 counts of bringing 21st century knowledge to the Canon when you shouted "Yes! I beat the Fusion Dragon!", "Yes! I beat the Doom dragon!", and "Yes! I beat Dullahan!", and 7 counts of playing gameboy during a potentially dangerous situation. That's everything.+
Adrian stared. "That's all?" He exclaimed, "I thought I was busted for gameboy at least 10 times!"
The Marquis de Sod ignored him, +I have no choice but to transfer you. You are now the second member of the Golden Sun division.+
"What department?" Adrian asked, a little confused. He had never seen the Marquis de Sod forget anything.
The Marquis de Sod gave a look that looked uncannily like an evil grin, even for a flower. +All of them.+
=++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++=
Rob was sitting at the console when Adrian arrived.
"Um. . . Hello." Adrian said as he opened the door, "I take it you're the other GS agent?"
Rob turned to look at the new guy, "Yes, I am. What are you in for?"
"Huh?" Adrian asked.
Rob smiled, "I know you used to be in Star Trek. What did you do to get busted down here?"
Adrian laughed, "I played a few tricks on the other agents. They were jerks anyways."
Rob laughed, "I know the Trekkies can be jerks sometimes. No matter what, don't try anything here. If you give us away to a Mary Sue, odds are you will end up in a very unpleasant situation: Dead."
Adrian was a little shocked at this lecture. He wasn't some sort of green recruit! "I know that. I worked in Star Trek for about 3 years!"
"That was Star Trek. The worst that could happen there was you would get thrown into a black hole or something. Here, when a Mary Sue kills you, it's instantaneous, painful and almost unblockable. First strike is crucial to winning here. If you don't get a halt or bind spell off almost immediately, you're toast."
Adrian glared, "Don't lecture me! I played the games you know."
Rob rolled his eyes, "There are no Mary Sues in the games. I'm not trying to lecture you, just warn you. Anyway, if we have to work together, we might as well try and get along. Make yourself comfortable."
Adrian stepped in and dropped his bags on the floor. "No furniture?"
Rob sighed, "I've been begging upstairs for furniture for ages. Maybe now that there are two of us, we'll get something. If you need somewhere to sit, I've heard that behind the console is quite nice."
Adrian stared, "You mean you don't sit there?"
Rob shook his head, "Nah. I like chairs myself."
Adrian dove for behind the console, almost breaking the desk. "Mine!" He shouted as he slammed onto the carpet.
Rob stared, wide-eyed. He was about to make a comment when
[BEEEEEEP][BEEEEEEEP]
Rob turned to the console. "Hmm. . . This is bad."
"What is?" Adrian asked.
Rob stood up and pulled him out from under the console. "Chosen one fic. It's really bad. A Mary Sue shows up at Venus lighthouse, makes everyone 'understand' each other, and then everyone teams up and goes to light the other lighthouses. Not only that, but she's got every male in the group fighting over her."
Adrian looked a little dangerous, "What does she do to Garet?"
Rob looked at the screen, and grimaced, "She has him as a total moron. He trips over his own shoelaces every other paragraph. On top of that, Garet sound like Og."
Adrian started looking really evil. "This one's mine." He said.
"Sure." Rob said.
Adrian punched up disguises on the console (Lemurian). Rob opened a portal, and two Lemurians stepped into the noon sun.
"Adrian you moron! LOWER! It's hot in the noon sun, you know!"
"Sorry Rob. I'm new at this."
Adrian opened another portal, and the two Lemurians stepped on to the streets of Lalivero.
"Wait, 'new at this'? You've been in Star Trek for about two years!"
"Rob, I was insane most of the time."
"Oh yeah."
Adrian looked around. "Hide! Here comes the sue!"
Both agents dived into the bushes, only to discover that they were really cactuses.
"Stupid desert." Rob growled. By this time, the Sue was standing in the center of town, where the two agents could easily observe her.
"Rob, she looks a lot like Sheba."
"That's because she is Sheba's 'older sister' who has realized her true power as a child of the gods."
"Well," Adrian said, "That's one thing to add to the charge list, God- moding."
"Yeah," Rob agreed, "but we have to wait until after Venus lighthouse. We haven't even gotten to the major breach of canon yet."
The sue started walking out of Lalivero, and two hidden PPC agents followed her.
At the foot of Venus lighthouse, the Mary Sue showed just what kind of god- like powers she had. She raised her arms, and was surrounded by a "matrix" of whirling light.
"Adrian, have you ever seen a matrix of light before?"
"No, I haven't. But it sure looks weird."
Rob smiled, "Remember people, beta readers are your friends."
Adrian tugged at Rob's sleeve. "Rob, seeing as how we can't fly, we should probably portal to the top."
Rob looked around. "Good idea. You've got the portal thingey."
Adrian opened a portal, and the two agents stepped to the top of the lighthouse, behind one of those statues.
"Isaac, listen to reason! Saturos and Menardi are trying to help!" The sue was desperately trying to get the groups to join.
"I wish we could skip this." Adrian said, "We both no that nothing will happen until she starts crying."
"This is new," Rob commented, "A sue who can be godlike and pitiful at the same time. Good thing none of the Psychology guys are here. They would spend days studying her."
Adrian shuddered. "Good thing."
Isaac was now explaining his point of view to the Sue.
"If the lighthouses are lit, then someone will take the power of alchemy and use it for evil. We can't let this happen! Even if it is you asking."
"Besides, Maris, you can't think that we would work alongside this scum?"
Rob was taking notes for a charge list. "Name: Maris," He muttered.
"But, you have to see reason, all of you!"
"She's going to start crying now." Adrian said with pure disgust. "I can't watch."
Adrian was right. The Sue broke down and started sobbing. Adrian almost threw up. Rob did throw up.
"Maris! Don't cry!" Isaac and Saturos yelled almost simultaneously.
Garet didn't bother yelling. He ran over and tried to comfort Maris.
Adrian pulled out his character analysis device.
[Name: Maris, Noncanon, Mary Sue]
[Name: Saturos, canon, OOC 79% CHARACTER RUPTURE]
Menardi started throwing up at the scene before her. Rob didn't blame her.
[Name: Menardi, canon OOC 32%]
[Name: Isaac, canon OOC 67% CHARACTER RUPTURE]
[Name: Ivan, canon OOC 32%]
"Psst. Rob."
"What is it Adrian?"
"Why isn't Ivan affected?"
"Simple," Rob said, "No one like a blonde midget. At least, most fangirls don't."
"What about the FBM?"
"That's mainly non-lusters and fanboys who like him because he's cool. If you want to lust, there are others."
"oh."
The sue had stopped crying, but only after receiving Saturos and Isaac's pledge to help her unseal alchemy. Garet had made the pledge too, but he wasn't important.
Behind the statue, the agents were preparing.
"Ready Adrian?" Rob asked.
"Ready." Adrian replied.
"Okay, Three. . . Two. . . One. . . NOW!" Rob shouted.
The agents leaped out from behind the statue, screaming their psynergy out simultaneously.
"Bind!" Rob shouted, just as Adrian yelled "Halt!"
Frozen in place, the Mary Sue could only stare. Isaac and Saturos were a more immediate problem. Garet tried to help the Sue, but Saturos shoved him away.
"Adrian."
"What?"
"Sunglasses. Now." Rob pulled out his neuralizer and pressed the pretty red button.
FLASH
Isaac and Saturos stared at each other, mortal enemies again. Garet, Mia and Ivan walked up behind Isaac. Menardi came to stand behind Saturos. Both groups ignored the agents, who quickly used a portal to get to a deserted clearing in some forest.
Rob spoke first. "Maris, you stand accused of disrupting canon, screwing with the characters of Saturos, Isaac, Garet and everyone else, creating abundant plotholes, making Menardi throw up, making me throw up, putting on the sappiest display I have ever seen, and being a Mary Sue. Your punishment is death."
"Don't forget pissing us off!" Adrian chimed in.
"Ahem." Rob said, "Do you have any last words that are not a dramatic speech?"
The Sue still couldn't move a muscle, but nobody really cared.
"Guess not. Adrian, I believe you wanted this one."
"Darn right." Adrian said, "We're going to have lots of fun together, aren't we little sue?"
"Don't take too long. Upstairs will get pissed off if we're too late."
"I know, I know."
The details of exactly what Adrian did to the sue are much too gruesome to include in this fanfiction. We will just leave it to your imagination.
REVIEW!