I wish I owned DBZ, but I don't. I own DVD's and tapes, but it just isn't the same. I also don't own the right to any of the music pieces you may see selected, just copies of merchandise, such a shame. The artists that created them are geniuses and we all must bow to them.
Chapter 18: Journalist's worst nightmare
Ever true to his word, Vegeta taught me how to properly create a fake moon, but it wasn't something I got right the first time, nor the several that followed. Every successful try meant that I transformed and that usually brought on a heavy sparring, but training sessions with Vegeta almost always ended up that way. When the once a days started on mastering the fake moon, he basically had to drag me out at the end of the day. I would be awake enough to gobble down dinner and bathe, but that would be it until I got some sleep. About a week after that, two transformations a day started, Vegeta had me over his shoulder, dumping me on the sofa almost every night until I snapped out of it.
"So why do you always keep him in there so long Dad?" Trunks asked one day.
"Not my fault the boy has more will to train than you, you would still be stronger than him if you trained as much as he does!" Vegeta mocked his own son. That seemed to do the trick, I saw Trunks eyes darken a little, and obviously his father's acceptance was as important to him as it was his future counterpart. Soon I was down to one change a day when Trunks started getting up when Vegeta and I did and staying longer than Vegeta requested of him. Also true to Vegeta's word, he kept Trunks from ever knowing that I transformed at all. It didn't help when Trunks actually wanted to train more, but by that time I was mastering the fake moon blast enough to stop using it every day. It was kind of a complicated trick using ki energy along with oxygen, or at least that was how Vegeta put it. It took me over a month just to do one right.
It was during this time that Gohan finally had Piccolo remove his tail again, and he also restarted his training. He and Goten sometimes showed up for sparring matches whenever he didn't have to study. Vegeta thoroughly enjoyed days when Gohan would show, that meant he could have a suitable sparring partner and not a few kids he could beat easily when going Super Saiyan after we did. Trunks and I got paired as sparring partners a lot, either one on one, or the two of us against Vegeta. Trunks liked to throw different looks and strategies at me, to throw me off guard. Mostly due to the fact I had the advantage in strength and power and in a straight on fight he could not beat me. He generally liked to hold back until the last minute, go all out quickly and beat me down before I had the chance to counter. Though he sacrificed a lot of energy by going fast, it worked, until I started mimicking that strategy and forced him to come up with something else. That strategy only got him an ass kicking from Vegeta, who constantly scolded him to never hold back until the end like that in a real battle. Also, the gravity room was almost never set on anything below fifty time normal gravity, except for when I was attuning to the fake moon blast.
After I had adjusted to the transformation and mastery of the fake moon skill, Vegeta would only occasionally send Trunks out to the Son residence so he could train with Gohan and Goten. Then he would power all the way up to Super Saiyan 2 and face off with me. While I didn't have a chance in normal or Super Saiyan mode, I had one in my transformed ape state. So I fought him like that. It made Vegeta happy to know I could almost match him when I was in ape form to his ascended level. Then he could really turn up the heat and I could dish it out on him as well. I never won one match though, not once, even when I had him against the ropes. I could sometimes beat Gohan when he would show up and go all out, and he was almost the same. Never Vegeta though, he was just too crafty. Hell, if I beat him down enough he would just destroy the fake moon and deflate my power, and any chance I had to begin with. That didn't mean I didn't give Vegeta a run for his money though, I did just that.
Things went smoothly for about six months after sparring a lot in my ape form. Eventually, Vegeta didn't spar me everyday like that, early on he did. After awhile it would be a surprise that happened maybe once every two weeks as he couldn't always get Trunks out of the house because his new found will to keep up with my strength. I learned that Gohan had just recently started school at Orange Star high in Satan City, which meant of course that he would be meeting Videl soon and would need the Great Saiyaman outfit made. Sure enough on his first day he showed up. And Mom made the ridiculous outfit for him.
"Hey Gohan, why does it matter rather people know you or not? It's not like they can do anything bad to you, I say who cares what they think!" I suggested to him.
"Yeah but I don't want the fame to go home with me everyday to invade my family's privacy, and people at school would think I'm a freak," he had said.
"Whatever man, just trying to help," I said, going back to the gravity room with Vegeta.
Yeah things went well, until one night at dinner. Mom announced that there would be an open house the next day.
I spat out my food on accident, "You sure that's a good idea?"
"Unfortunately its part of the tour that this group consisting of important figures and the press were granted when my dad promised it during one of his conventions on new ideas and designs," Mom explained.
"Just keep them out of my face and there won't be a problem," Vegeta growled.
"That's the problem Vegeta, Dad asked me to dress you guys up for the event. You won't have to say or do anything except attend the convention, but I need you with me when they arrive in the lobby. After all they would consider it strange that Bulma Briefs' own husband and sons could not attend a grand tour of their own home," Mom said with a hint of hope in her voice, but also sternness.
"Oh fine woman, if it'll keep you happy for another week," Vegeta growled as he gave up.
"And I know I can count on excellent behavior from anyone that is eight years old, RIGHT?" she gazed down at us. Trunks and I gulped and nodded slowly. "Good, its settled, you two should find a few sets of good clothes in your rooms. I highly recommend that you wear them tomorrow!" Mom beamed at us. After finishing off dinner, Trunks and I quickly retreated to the living room.
"Man I hate reporters, this bites!" Trunks whined.
"You and me both, looks like were stuck with the situation though," I said.
"Maybe not, we could just blow them up!" Trunks suggested.
"Think about that Trunks, as fun as it would be, it would equal a screaming lecture from Mom. I'd rather not have to deal with that," I countered.
He looked down for a minute, and then snapped his fingers, "Yeah if we blow them up, but if Dad does it we're off the hook!" Trunks celebrated his idea by throwing his hands up in victory.
"Vegeta hates them already. I doubt that would take much effort, and Mom, all they would have to do is ask her the wrong question..." I slowly saw where Trunks was going with this and returned the big smirk on his face.
"But what could we get them to ask Mom or Dad, hmmm that they're ugly or something?" Trunks asked naively. This is where being mentally twenty-two years old came in handy. I helped Trunks comprise a list of questions that would undoubtedly get a screech from Mom or a blast from Vegeta, or both. It didn't have to be what I would call censored language either, just very suggestive. Judging by how attractive Mom actually had been and still was, and what some others thought of Vegeta before and after he showed his always-bad side, the list I came up with would do just fine. Trunks was having trouble keeping quiet due to the extreme laughing he was doing when my mind began to think them up.
"Now how would we get the news people to ask all these?" Trunks pondered, chuckling a little more.
I already knew that one, "Just give them the list, though they may think twice about it if we just handed them the list. I know all reporters carry a list of questions with them to things like this. We make copies of this list, and then slip them into several of their briefcases or notebooks or whatever they have on them to carry their stuff. That way when they pull it out they won't have time to think the question over before reading it off, or they may read it first and get curious to what the answer may be and ask anyway, it'll work," I said, grinning ear to ear.
"This is gonna be so funny Verto, I gotta call Goten and tell him about this!" Trunks said, starting to skip off to find the phone. I laughed thoughtfully, the list was still prominent in my head. Then I realized what might just happen when Trunks tells Goten. Grabbing the list and stuffing it in the back of my gi, I rushed off after Trunks who thankfully didn't get to the phone yet.
Pulling him aside, "What are you nuts? You tell Goten and the plan is history, he will eventually spill the beans when he's laughing about it. Then Chichi will hear and I think you know the result of that! Don't tell anyone about it!" I urged.
"Oh crap, you're right. It wouldn't be the first time Goten did that, he can't ever keep a secret. Okay, I won't tell anyone about it," Trunks sounded disappointed.
"Don't tell anyone about what?" came a barky voice. We spun to see Vegeta standing in the hallway. "What are you two up to?" he asked.Damn, Vegeta has already caught on.
"Nothing Dad, nothing at all!" Trunks said way to quick.
"Humph, well don't you two dare think that you don't have to train tomorrow. Once the woman is done and the idiotic humans leave, then you train, got it?" he shouted the last part to get his point across.
"Got it!" I said, slightly grinning by accident at the thoughts of how the press might be leaving tomorrow.
"Good, get to bed!" Vegeta barked, turning and heading back towards the gravity room.
"Whew that was close," Trunks relaxed a bit.
"See what I mean Trunks, you have to be careful when planning something like this. Now let's get some copies made before Mom tucks us in," I whispered. We scampered off to Trunks' room to do so. We finished just in time when we felt Mom approaching.
"Hide them under your mattress Trunks, and don't take them out until I tell you. We're going to make this work!" I said, quickly getting back to my room. I got back in there just in time as well, Mom opened the door just as the blankets settled.
"Well I see I don't have to chase you down tonight, good, I expect perfect behavior tomorrow!" she said, tucking down the blankets.
"I won't promise perfection, because it probably won't be there. In case I didn't tell you before, I hate reporters. But I'll do my best not to be a complete ass about it," I said.
"You'd better!" she claimed as she left for Trunks' room. I finally let myself feel relieved when she left his room without any disasters. I hadn't had time to actually see if Trunks hid the papers or not. With a sigh of reassurance, I drifted off to sleep, giggling at what tomorrow may bring.
I awoke to the sweet smell of bacon and eggs. Quickly I cleaned up and dressed in a polo T- shirt, and dark pants. I scampered across the hall to see if Trunks was up yet. He was just waking up when I knocked on the door.
"Trunks, where did you hide the lists?" I asked.
"Huh, what? Oh yeah! Under the mattress like you said, I have a small storage capsule over there we could put them in until later," he said, getting up and grabbing the capsule off a desk. Pressing the button, the cloud of smoke vanished to reveal a small briefcase, just big enough for our dirty deeds. Putting them in neatly, I recapsulized it and put it in my pocket.
"You better get ready, I smell a good breakfast ahead!" I said with a typical grin. Breakfast was kind of small, but Mom said it was to curb our appetites till after the convention that included lunch. Okay it wasn't that small, twenty rounds of eggs, pancakes and bacon slices for both Trunks and I. Trunks had on a dark red polo, and mine was green. Mom seemed impressed that we remembered to dress a little better today.
"Just want to look proper for any historic, ahem, events may happen today," I explained, realizing I just slipped big time. Trunks gave me a slight glare, but didn't keep it when Mom turned to him.
"Trunks, did Grandpa tell you about his new invention already?" Mom asked. Trunks' eyes went wide for a brief instant. I knew why, he hadn't had time to ask what Dr. Briefs was working on. He was too focused on training with Vegeta and I, so he had no clue what his grandpa had made.
"He kind of did, I still don't understand what it's supposed to do. Dad wanted me training after all," he answered. Oh, good answer Trunks, I thought, afraid that he was gonna blow it right there.
"Well he calls it the Ionic Pulser, I think. It supposedly advances and or reverses body age or something. It hasn't been tested on humans yet, but all of the animals he tested on were successful. Puppies became full grown dogs in no time with full stability. Old cats were turned back into young adults, or into kittens again if enough power was used, things like that," Mom explained.
"Are you sure its a good idea for something like that to be around? That sounds dangerous in the wrong hands?" I asked with slight concern.
"Oh its okay, no one would dare try to steal that, Vegeta is guarding it today. I decided not to take any chances there, plus it takes a special pass code from Dad to even turn on, and a different one to start it up," Mom tried to reassure me. I shrugged it off and finished my breakfast off before Trunks and I waited in the lobby for company to arrive.
The press seems to be the same no matter where you are. This was no different, the different hordes of reporters and camera crews arrived in bunches, all their news vans setting up with antennas going up outside. Inside it was our official job to greet them and tell them that Mom would be down at about ten to start the tour. The occasional camera flashed at us since we were the "grandsons" of the greatest scientist alive, but nothing major, just a quick picture or two with just Trunks and I. As every crew began to set up, Trunks and I spotted our prey. Every reporter set down a briefcase and went back out to assist in their respect News van. Trunks hid our papers behind the couch, every time a new target set down, He would rush over, go through the briefcases, and plant the deadly list and be done before anyone could see it happen. To be safe, I mixed up the questions on the pages the night before so they were not totally identical, surely some of the press would figure that out if they all had the same set of questions in the same order. I kept the camera crews distracted by asking how something worked, while Trunks did the dirty work.
After planting about twelve of them I nodded to him to signal to stop, overkill wasn't necessary if Vegeta got mad enough. More of the press arrived, and soon some of the more important figures arrived, which got some of the really nosey ones off of us. Mom finally came down with a list of names to call off, checking attendance. After she called all of the guests and news groups off, she added at the end:
"Verto Briefs, Trunks Briefs!" That got a general laughter from the crowd, and scowls from us. The tour kept pretty simple, and didn't involve anything upstairs thank god. The only trouble through the house was when we passed the gravity room.
"Umm Miss Bulma, why are there danger signs all over that metal door?" One such reporter asked, mic shoved in her face.
"Oh that room is being reconstructed and it's pretty unstable in there," Mom said quickly. The tour went on through the kitchen and out into the yard.
"Miss Bulma, why are there huge blast marks here. It looks like someone was playing with highly explosive devices?" Another asked. Damn rubbernecks, I hope Mom has an answer for that one, I don't think ultra powerful energy blasts will cut it.
"Oh those, just where we work on things that may explode suddenly. They tend to leave quite a mark on our back lawn," she said. Wow, good answer. After touring the highly damaged backyard, Mom led them back inside and back to the other part of the building. While there were a lot of rooms I hadn't seen, nor had most of the press, Mom kept them going towards a conference room at the end of the main halls. This room I had seen before, Dr. Briefs occasionally called Capsule Corp. employees to meet here and Mom had drug me along one day when Vegeta left to spar Piccolo or Gohan and Trunks was sent over to the Sons. There were several rows of chairs set up in the room, leading towards the stage and podium. Dr. Briefs stood with Vegeta and several employees on the stage, and beckoned Mom as well as Trunks and myself come up and join them. Vegeta did not look happy to say the least. While this wasn't a complete surprise, it was the fact that he was wearing his pink "bad man" shirt with yellow pants. I struggled not to laugh at this since I had never seen it on him before. The constant flashing of cameras probably didn't help any.
Once the cameras set up for the live feeds and the press was seated, I saw the briefcases appear, and allowed a small grin to appear on my face. Trunks nudged me and nodded. Then Dr. Briefs began his speech. The Ionic Pulser was pretty good size, but not that big. It looked like a big shotgun with fancy tubes and lighting. Dr. Briefs held it up for the audience and TV cameras and then proceeded to show it off, testing it on pets that employees brought along. Needless to say, perfect results, he then restored the pets to normal.
"This device has not been tested on humans yet, but results on animals and plant life have been excellent, more tweaking will take place before human testing, and the need for volunteers. However I believe that this device would make an excellent tool for slowing the aging process," Dr. Briefs finished, "Ok any questions."
"Is this going to be an item open to the market?"
"Probably not, it may dangerous if used improperly."
"When will testing on humans begin?"
"Soon, probably about three weeks."
"Does Mr. Vegeta's hair always stand up on end like a street punk?" That stumped Dr. Briefs for a minute, as it did just about everyone else, though Vegeta's frown got bigger.
"Um next question."
"Does Miss Bulma shave down south?" Just as the reporter uttered it, he turned pale right away. As cruel as the question was, I couldn't help but at least chuckle, trying to hold my laughter. Mom's eyes were wide open, before turning into a deathly scowl.
"That is none of your business! Next question!" she said, trying to stay calm.
"Is Mr. Vegeta circumcised?" Oh, what a great order these are coming in.
"Does anyone have any more questions about the device?" Dr. Briefs interjected before Vegeta did something rash, he certainly looked like he knew what the last one meant.
"Mr. Vegeta, is it true that you once tried to kill Son Goku, the martial arts legend?" Oh yeah, now were cooking. I knew anything mentioning Goku would piss him off.
"No, it was a standard fight," Mom said for him.
"Is it true you once tried to seduce Son Goku's wife?"
"What? No!" Vegeta yelled.
"Miss Bulma, how many times a week do you and your husband have sex?" Ha, You can just feel the anger rising.
"That is none of your business, stay out of it!"
"Is it true that your husband is really an alien trying to take over the world?" Well that was true.
"I suggest you stop asking these ridiculous questions before I blast you all to hell!" Vegeta threatened. That shut the room up very fast, and there was still a few good ones left. Lucky for us, two brave souls stood up to ask them.
"Mr. Vegeta, what position do you and Miss Bulma like best?" The reporter nearly swallowed his tongue after he read it, and saw the look on Vegeta's face, never mind Mom's. And the big finisher came just in time for the explosion.
"Our sources say that ever since you lost your fight against the martial arts legend Son Goku, you have been looked upon as a mediocre fighter. What do you think of these rumors?" At about this time, Mom and Dr. Briefs motioned the employees to back away behind Vegeta, knowing what was about to happen. The particular reaction that came after lost and mediocre seemed to spark Vegeta's already volatile energy.
"You want to know what I think about this, you've got your wish," he said with a familiar looking smirk.
I rummaged through the debris left after the few remaining reporters were able to get away. I guessed there were fifty newsgroups that arrived, with a crew of five or six each. Only a few lucky souls and the drivers of the vans survived Vegeta's wrath. Lucky for the nobles and rich folks, Vegeta didn't target them, though they ran for the hills anyway.
Dr. Briefs just shook his head, "Vegeta, you've out done yourself again."
"Vegeta, you didn't have to blow them all up!" Mom screeched.
"I didn't blow them ALL up, six of those eyesores got away," he answered smoothly. I glanced over at Trunks, who was still amazed at the result of our little trick.
"Not bad for a press conference, I'll have to remember that strategy when they shove the mic in my face again," I said aloud, trying to add to the discreetness of what Trunks and I had done.
"The nerve of those jerks! They've never invaded my privacy like that since I was sixteen when I dated Yamcha!" Mom cringed. Perfect results. Trunks and I retreated to the living room, before breaking out in uncontrollable laughter.
"Wow! I can't believe Dad actually blew them all up!" Trunks said in-between laughing fits.
"No no, he missed six of them remember? Muhahahaha!" I laughed some more.
"Can I tell Goten now?" Trunks asked.
"Oh no, better not, I'm sure Chichi already knows about what happened here. That was broadcast live! Every word!" I proclaimed. Just then I heard police sirens, coming close to the building.
"I don't think we're done yet, let's check it out through the window," I suggested. We rushed up stairs to look out Trunks' window, which held a perfect view of the front stoop, the yard and the far street. Below we saw the police having a standoff with Vegeta.
"Sir we need you to come with us now, you are under arrest!" Came a cop's voice through the megaphone.
"Why don't you place those remaining blasted reporters under arrest, they were invading me and my mate's privacy. When I last read your government's laws, that was forbidden!" Vegeta snorted, his arms crossed.
The cop thought that one over, "That may be true, but that didn't give you the right to plant explosives and kill them all!" the chief shouted through the megaphone.
"I did not kill them all, six remained. Let that be a lesson not to invade my privacy, or that of my mate's!" Vegeta turned on his heel and proceeded back inside. The cops found whatever balls they had and ran after him with nightsticks.
"Oh boy, the cops are gonna get it again. Last time Dad only maimed the few detectives for investigating missing people, I wonder what he's gonna do this time!" Trunks said loudly. A few seconds later the remaining officers ran in to tend to their fallen comrades.
"They'll live! Now get out of my sight!" Vegeta roared. I've never seen cops move so fast, even the now slightly injured ones got up and hauled ass out of there, limping away to their cars.
"Well this day sure did turn out interesting didn't it?" I said.
"Yeah, great plan Verto, that was fun!" Trunks said, jumping on his bed a little.
Later on I was dressing for training when Vegeta walked in and slammed my door, startling me.
"What's up?" I asked, tying my belt around my waist.
"Did you and Trunks have something to do with that incident this morning? I overheard something about a question list and giving it to the reporters," he said with a raised voice. Well it was fun while it lasted, damn Vegeta is sneaky.
"Yeah, sorry about that, Trunks wanted to see what would happen if you got mad enough to blow them up, and you know I don't care for them myself," I said, lowering my head and preparing for whatever punishment was going to be dished out. I looked back up at him only to see a pride filled smirk on his face.
"Exactly how did you get them to ask all of that?" I told him about the dreaded list that I came up with last night.
"Nice, you've got quite a mean streak. I figured you to be a pacifist like Kakarot's brat, aside from your training of course, and I think you made the world a better place now that it's missing some reporters. I knew you must have had something to do with it, even I haven't mentioned such things around my son yet, time for training, lets go," Vegeta said, turning and heading back downstairs.
Power levels-these don't truly matter, but it gets a better sense of where everyone is.
Vegeta: 55,000,000, SS: 185,000,000, SS2: 325,000,000
Verto: 31,000,000, SS: 85,000,000, Transformed: 310,000,000
Trunks: 28,000,000, SS: 79,000,000
Goten: 25,000,000, SS: 76,000,000
Gohan: 52,000,000, SS: 178,000,000, SS2: 315,000,000
A/N: I really do hate reporters, and frankly who doesn't when they shove that mic in your face and ask all those questions that DO invade your privacy. And yes, this was a direct reference to the infamous line by Vegeta shortly before the world tournament.