Well, thanks for all the applications you guys have sent me, but now that I
have a second agent, I won't be needing any for a while. Later on I might
decide to add a second team, but until then we are fine agent-wise.
Authors notes that are encountered in the story will be displayed in all caps, to more accurately get the message across.
And now. . .
PPC: GSD chapter 4- And you thought Dullahan was bad. . .
The Golden Sun office was quiet. There was a little less badfic up now that OFUW had started recruiting full-scale. Adrian had managed to hack the console, and Quake was running again. All things considered, life was good.
Unfortunately, the natural laws of comedy were not too busy in the LOTR department to ignore the golden sun office.
[BEEEEEP][BEEEEEEEEEP][BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP]
"Crap! Just when I was getting used to this quiet!"
"Sorry Adrian, I think that after working in Star Trek, you would be used to this."
"I was too busy bugging my partners to care."
"Don't even think of that here-"
"I already told you, I don't need a lecture!"
Rob rolled his eyes and brought the story up on the screen.
"Well?" Adrian asked.
"Well, we have a few lucky breaks here, at least." Rob said, looking disgusted.
"What do you mean?" Adrian asked.
"This is a pre-game fic. It's about the fall of the great warrior Dullahan."
"That can't be so bad, what's the problem?"
"Mainly space-time distortions. It supposedly takes place about a million years before the game, and one of the characters is Isaac's grandmother and the founder of Vale." Rob said, barely believing the levels of badness that this story somehow managed to achieve.
"I take it she's a sue?"
"How did you guess?"
Rob programmed in Proxian disguises, and opened a portal to Anemos, which was, for some reason, in the middle of Angara. Suddenly a booming voice rang down from the sky.
"Damn authors notes!" Rob muttered. Adrian just plugged his ears.
THIS IS THE STORY OF HOW DULLAHAN CAME TO BE THE GUARDIAN OF ANEMOS SANCTUM. IT ALSO INCLUDES ISAAC'S GRANDMOTHER, KAYLE. SHE'S NOT A MARY SUE
"First rule of fanfiction," Rob quoted, "If the author say's it's not a mary sue, it is."
The fiction opened with "Kayle" meeting Dullahan (His first name is Frank) On a starlit night near the sanctum.
"Dullahan had a first name?" Adrian asked.
"Dullahan IS his first name, but this author didn't know it." Rob said.
Frank Dullahan, great warrior of Anemos-
"Mercury save me," Groaned Adrian.
-walked into the clearing, and saw the most beautiful girl ever sitting there, looking straight at him.
"Well, that makes total sense," Rob said sarcastically, "EVERYONE knows that beautiful girls just sit around waiting for lust objects to notice them."
"Well, you have to admit," Adrian said, "Dullahan as a lust object is pretty original."
Rob just groaned.
After Frank and Kayle set the world record for "Shortest amount of time passed between first meeting and getting married" (5 minutes, 23 seconds), the action started to really heat up. A very evil force named Ivan "TOTALLY A COINCIDENCE" started attacking Anemos. If that wasn't bad enough, Frank was about to start becoming evil.
"I wonder what the authoress has against Ivan?" Adrian wondered.
"Probably nothing. She's just to stupid to make up her own evil, so she twists something else."
"Frank dear," Kayle said, "I don't want you going out like this. It's dangerous."
"Sorry honey," The creature known as Frank Dullahan said, "I have to. If Ivan isn't stopped, we'll all die."
Adrian winced. "Can we skip ahead to the part where we get to hurt her?"
"Good idea." Rob said. Two minutes later, they were gone.
The portal device malfunctioned. Ordinarily, this would have been a bad thing, but this time it dumped the agents right on top of the Mary Sue as she was walking through the deserted streets of Anemos 15 minutes after the "major no-no" as most PPC agents put it.
"Um," Adrian said, a little unsure of what to do.
Rob wasted no time. "Bind!" He shouted sealing the Sue's psynergy.
"Kayle, you are accused of violating canon by giving Dullahan a first name, causing one hell of a space-time distortion, giving me a headache, causing Anemos to be in Angara, making Ivan evil, making Ivan appear 'thousands of years' before he even existed, pissing me off, and being a mary sue. Any last words that are not a dramatic death speech?" Rob asked.
"You can't do this! I'm Isaac's grandmother! If you kill me, the canon will be shot to hell!" The sue said triumphantly.
"Sorry sweetheart," Adrian said, "Isaac's grandmother won't be born for another few thousand years. Now say hello to my claymore." Adrian pulled out the sword and ran it through the sue's chest, and then decapitating her just to be sure.
"I'm glad she's gone." Rob said, throwing the body into the ocean.
"Yeah, me too." Adrian said, as the agents went back to HQ, "I wonder what her grandson would have been like?"
REVIEW!
Authors notes that are encountered in the story will be displayed in all caps, to more accurately get the message across.
And now. . .
PPC: GSD chapter 4- And you thought Dullahan was bad. . .
The Golden Sun office was quiet. There was a little less badfic up now that OFUW had started recruiting full-scale. Adrian had managed to hack the console, and Quake was running again. All things considered, life was good.
Unfortunately, the natural laws of comedy were not too busy in the LOTR department to ignore the golden sun office.
[BEEEEEP][BEEEEEEEEEP][BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP]
"Crap! Just when I was getting used to this quiet!"
"Sorry Adrian, I think that after working in Star Trek, you would be used to this."
"I was too busy bugging my partners to care."
"Don't even think of that here-"
"I already told you, I don't need a lecture!"
Rob rolled his eyes and brought the story up on the screen.
"Well?" Adrian asked.
"Well, we have a few lucky breaks here, at least." Rob said, looking disgusted.
"What do you mean?" Adrian asked.
"This is a pre-game fic. It's about the fall of the great warrior Dullahan."
"That can't be so bad, what's the problem?"
"Mainly space-time distortions. It supposedly takes place about a million years before the game, and one of the characters is Isaac's grandmother and the founder of Vale." Rob said, barely believing the levels of badness that this story somehow managed to achieve.
"I take it she's a sue?"
"How did you guess?"
Rob programmed in Proxian disguises, and opened a portal to Anemos, which was, for some reason, in the middle of Angara. Suddenly a booming voice rang down from the sky.
"Damn authors notes!" Rob muttered. Adrian just plugged his ears.
THIS IS THE STORY OF HOW DULLAHAN CAME TO BE THE GUARDIAN OF ANEMOS SANCTUM. IT ALSO INCLUDES ISAAC'S GRANDMOTHER, KAYLE. SHE'S NOT A MARY SUE
"First rule of fanfiction," Rob quoted, "If the author say's it's not a mary sue, it is."
The fiction opened with "Kayle" meeting Dullahan (His first name is Frank) On a starlit night near the sanctum.
"Dullahan had a first name?" Adrian asked.
"Dullahan IS his first name, but this author didn't know it." Rob said.
Frank Dullahan, great warrior of Anemos-
"Mercury save me," Groaned Adrian.
-walked into the clearing, and saw the most beautiful girl ever sitting there, looking straight at him.
"Well, that makes total sense," Rob said sarcastically, "EVERYONE knows that beautiful girls just sit around waiting for lust objects to notice them."
"Well, you have to admit," Adrian said, "Dullahan as a lust object is pretty original."
Rob just groaned.
After Frank and Kayle set the world record for "Shortest amount of time passed between first meeting and getting married" (5 minutes, 23 seconds), the action started to really heat up. A very evil force named Ivan "TOTALLY A COINCIDENCE" started attacking Anemos. If that wasn't bad enough, Frank was about to start becoming evil.
"I wonder what the authoress has against Ivan?" Adrian wondered.
"Probably nothing. She's just to stupid to make up her own evil, so she twists something else."
"Frank dear," Kayle said, "I don't want you going out like this. It's dangerous."
"Sorry honey," The creature known as Frank Dullahan said, "I have to. If Ivan isn't stopped, we'll all die."
Adrian winced. "Can we skip ahead to the part where we get to hurt her?"
"Good idea." Rob said. Two minutes later, they were gone.
The portal device malfunctioned. Ordinarily, this would have been a bad thing, but this time it dumped the agents right on top of the Mary Sue as she was walking through the deserted streets of Anemos 15 minutes after the "major no-no" as most PPC agents put it.
"Um," Adrian said, a little unsure of what to do.
Rob wasted no time. "Bind!" He shouted sealing the Sue's psynergy.
"Kayle, you are accused of violating canon by giving Dullahan a first name, causing one hell of a space-time distortion, giving me a headache, causing Anemos to be in Angara, making Ivan evil, making Ivan appear 'thousands of years' before he even existed, pissing me off, and being a mary sue. Any last words that are not a dramatic death speech?" Rob asked.
"You can't do this! I'm Isaac's grandmother! If you kill me, the canon will be shot to hell!" The sue said triumphantly.
"Sorry sweetheart," Adrian said, "Isaac's grandmother won't be born for another few thousand years. Now say hello to my claymore." Adrian pulled out the sword and ran it through the sue's chest, and then decapitating her just to be sure.
"I'm glad she's gone." Rob said, throwing the body into the ocean.
"Yeah, me too." Adrian said, as the agents went back to HQ, "I wonder what her grandson would have been like?"
REVIEW!