Disclaimer: Not mine.
Warnings: More of the weirdness. And a little swearing...
Author: Koneko Shido
A/N: Mwahah. Christmas Special time!! Yeah, this is a repost.
Question Time 13
Jou: What's Bakura doing on the computer?
Ryou: Are you sure you really want to know?
Jou: It can't be worse than some of the things Kaiba says to me.
Kaiba: I heard that.
Jou: ...
Ryou: Well, if you must know, his latest hobby, if you can really call it that, is tormenting the suicidal teenagers on various internet chatrooms until he's forcibly removed. At least he isn't playing with mice any more, or trying to convince Yugi that I'm evil and secretly abusing him.
Jou: He does that?
Ryou: Amongst other things.
Jou: And are you secretly abusing him?
Ryou: What!? Of course not!
Kaiba: Shame.
Malik: Yeah. Has anyone seen my yami? He was here a minute ago...
Ryou: How could you lose that thing?!
Malik: By trying very, very hard. Oh, there he is scaring Otogi.
Ryou: Should we stop him?
Jou: Nah, let the guy have his fun.
Honda: Does anyone have anything sharp? I want to cut myself so I can go scare Otogi. He's terrified of blood. Did you know he screams like a girl?
Ryou: Ask Bakura. Oh, no...
Jou: What's up?
Ryou: Look. Bakura and Yami are trying to have a conversation. This won't end well.
Yugi: Hey guys! I left Yami with Bakura to play with the computer. Um, what's wrong?
Ryou: Uh, nothing...
(Over with Yami and Bakura...)
Yami: Tomb robber.
Bakura: Pharaoh.
Yami: How is Ryou?
Bakura: He's fine.
Yami: What are you doing on that computer?
Bakura: I'm- Oh, hell, I can't do it! Being civil to you is way too much effort. You're a stupid little smurf and your hair disturbs me. There, I feel better now.
Yami: Glad to hear it.
Bakura: Damn straight.
Yami: I doubt it.
Bakura: Why does everyone always say that, dammit!? And you're one to talk, we all know you and your little hikari screw like underage porn stars every chance you get!
Yami: How dare you?! We do not!
Bakura: Heh, who do you think you're kidding?
Yami: It's not true, I tell you! We're just very good friends who happen to hold hands a lot!
Bakura: Yeah, right. I'll believe that the day I join Anzu's friendship cult.
Yami: Hmph. Shut up. Besides, everyone knows Ryou has you totally bitch-whipped anyway, so you have no right to laugh at me.
Bakura: Bitch-whipped?
Yami: I couldn't think of a male equivalent.
Bakura: I see. So just because your head is pointy, it doesn't mean you're sharp. I'm not bitch-whipped, whatever the hell that means, you little stuck-up pain in the ass!
Yugi: What's going on here? Why are you two yelling so much?
Bakura: The Pharaoh's being mean to me.
Yugi: Yami, that's not nice.
Yami: Wha-?
Bakura: Meheheh.
Yami: But I wasn't!
Bakura: AND he was swearing.
Yugi: gasp Yami!
Yami: But-
Bakura: Nobody loves me!
Yugi: Say sorry to Bakura, Yami! Right now!
Yami: But-
Yugi: Now, Yami!
Yami: Grrrr. Fine, I'm sorry tomb robber. Happy now?
Bakura: Yep!
Yugi: That's better. Now I'm going to get a drink, and you had better be nice to Bakura, Yami!
Yami: Hmph.
Bakura: ...
Yami: What are you smirking at, tomb robber?
Bakura: ...MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Yami: Shut up!
Bakura: HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Bitch-whipped!!
Yami: Argh! Ryou!!!
Ryou: Yes?
Yami: Don't sneak up on me like that! Your yami is being... EVIL!!
Ryou: Oh?
Bakura: HAHAHAHAHA!!!
Ryou: Oh, I see.
Yami: He's laughing at me!
Ryou: I had gathered that, yes.
Bakura: Look, an angry elf! Or is it a Christmas tree? HAHAHAHAH!!!!!
Yami: ...What is he talking about?
Ryou: Don't worry, I speak fluent weirdo. He means that he's very sorry for upsetting you and he feels very guilty.
Yami: Oh. Well... good. I'm going to find Yugi before I send that laughing idiot to the shadow realm.
Bakura: Mwahahah. Remember not to feed Yugi after midnight! And don't get him wet! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Ryou: Ignore him, he does this all the time.
Yami: Hmph.
(Back with Kaiba and the others)
Jou: What's bitch-whipped?
Kaiba: I don't know, but it sounds like fun. We could always make something up.
Malik: Hey, you're rich, why don't you have one of those velcro sex-wall things?
Kaiba: That's a good question.
Jou: Uh... what?
Kaiba: I should get one.
Malik: Yeah, then you can stick Jou to it and molest him, and he won't be able to move.
Jou: Uh...
Kaiba: Or I could just chain him to the bed.
Malik: And smear him with honey.
Kaiba: And lick it off.
Malik: I'll help. I like honey.
Jou: Um...
Kaiba: We could have him with strawberries.
Malik: Sounds like a plan.
Jou: I'm going to run away now...
Kaiba: No you're not, you have to stay for the orgy.
Jou: We're having an orgy?
Malik: You didn't know?
Kaiba: It's a Christmas tradition. That's why Mokuba's not here. He's underage.
Jou: Um, does everyone else know about this, or were you just planning to spring it on them?
Malik: Oh, they all know. I guess we just forgot to tell you.
Kaiba: You can ask them if you like.
Jou: I will! I can't believe everyone would be in on this! Surely they're not that perverted! Yugi, c'mere!
Yugi: Yes?
Jou: Um...
Malik: He doesn't believe we're having an orgy later.
Yugi: Oh.
Jou: Oh?
Yugi: Well... we are? Why, don't you want to?
Jou: ...
Ryou: What's the matter?
Yugi: I was just telling Jou about the orgy.
Ryou: Oh.
Jou: I'm starting to feel out of my depth, here...
Bakura: You'd be out of your depth in a puddle. Is it orgy time yet? I'm bored with tormenting the Pharaoh.
Marik: Let's tie him up and pour chocolate sauce all over him!
Bakura: Good idea, let's go grab him while he's distracted.
Jou: Now I'm scared.
Honda: I'm straight, so I'm gonna go hide.
Otogi: Can I come?
Malik: But we had big plans for you, Otogi!
Otogi: Um...
Kaiba: Glad to see you approve.
Jou: Can I go hide, too?
Kaiba: Are you straight?
Jou: Well I slept with you and Malik, so obviously not...
Kaiba: Then no. And the orgy is compulsory. It was on the party invitation.
Jou: No it wasn't!
Kaiba: Didn't you read the small print?
Jou: Your Christmas party invitations had small print?!
Malik: Look, it says right here.
Jou: Damn, it does, too!
Marik: Look, we got the pharaoh!
Yami: Let go of me, you demented idiots!
Bakura: Um, no?
Marik: We want to play our new game with you!
Yami: What new game?
Bakura: It's called 'cover the pharaoh in chocolate sauce and molest him, then videotape it and give copies to everyone we know.'
Yami: What?! Let go of me! Yugi! Help!
Yugi: It's nice to see you're all finally getting along.
Bakura: Isn't it?
Marik: Yeah, we just love the pharaoh.
Yugi: Good.
Yami: whimper Ryou, you're almost sane, help me!
Ryou: Oh, don't worry, he won't hurt you. He just wants to play.
Bakura: Yeah, play.
Yami: Malik?
Malik: Sorry, Marik only listens to me when I take off my clothes, and the orgy hasn't started yet.
Marik: Yup.
Kaiba: Come on puppy, orgy time.
Jou: You sound way too happy.
Kaiba: Why shouldn't I be?
Jou: This is just... messed up.
Kaiba: True. Fun, though.
Ryou: Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
TBC
Yup. Review if you love me.
Warnings: More of the weirdness. And a little swearing...
Author: Koneko Shido
A/N: Mwahah. Christmas Special time!! Yeah, this is a repost.
Question Time 13
Jou: What's Bakura doing on the computer?
Ryou: Are you sure you really want to know?
Jou: It can't be worse than some of the things Kaiba says to me.
Kaiba: I heard that.
Jou: ...
Ryou: Well, if you must know, his latest hobby, if you can really call it that, is tormenting the suicidal teenagers on various internet chatrooms until he's forcibly removed. At least he isn't playing with mice any more, or trying to convince Yugi that I'm evil and secretly abusing him.
Jou: He does that?
Ryou: Amongst other things.
Jou: And are you secretly abusing him?
Ryou: What!? Of course not!
Kaiba: Shame.
Malik: Yeah. Has anyone seen my yami? He was here a minute ago...
Ryou: How could you lose that thing?!
Malik: By trying very, very hard. Oh, there he is scaring Otogi.
Ryou: Should we stop him?
Jou: Nah, let the guy have his fun.
Honda: Does anyone have anything sharp? I want to cut myself so I can go scare Otogi. He's terrified of blood. Did you know he screams like a girl?
Ryou: Ask Bakura. Oh, no...
Jou: What's up?
Ryou: Look. Bakura and Yami are trying to have a conversation. This won't end well.
Yugi: Hey guys! I left Yami with Bakura to play with the computer. Um, what's wrong?
Ryou: Uh, nothing...
(Over with Yami and Bakura...)
Yami: Tomb robber.
Bakura: Pharaoh.
Yami: How is Ryou?
Bakura: He's fine.
Yami: What are you doing on that computer?
Bakura: I'm- Oh, hell, I can't do it! Being civil to you is way too much effort. You're a stupid little smurf and your hair disturbs me. There, I feel better now.
Yami: Glad to hear it.
Bakura: Damn straight.
Yami: I doubt it.
Bakura: Why does everyone always say that, dammit!? And you're one to talk, we all know you and your little hikari screw like underage porn stars every chance you get!
Yami: How dare you?! We do not!
Bakura: Heh, who do you think you're kidding?
Yami: It's not true, I tell you! We're just very good friends who happen to hold hands a lot!
Bakura: Yeah, right. I'll believe that the day I join Anzu's friendship cult.
Yami: Hmph. Shut up. Besides, everyone knows Ryou has you totally bitch-whipped anyway, so you have no right to laugh at me.
Bakura: Bitch-whipped?
Yami: I couldn't think of a male equivalent.
Bakura: I see. So just because your head is pointy, it doesn't mean you're sharp. I'm not bitch-whipped, whatever the hell that means, you little stuck-up pain in the ass!
Yugi: What's going on here? Why are you two yelling so much?
Bakura: The Pharaoh's being mean to me.
Yugi: Yami, that's not nice.
Yami: Wha-?
Bakura: Meheheh.
Yami: But I wasn't!
Bakura: AND he was swearing.
Yugi: gasp Yami!
Yami: But-
Bakura: Nobody loves me!
Yugi: Say sorry to Bakura, Yami! Right now!
Yami: But-
Yugi: Now, Yami!
Yami: Grrrr. Fine, I'm sorry tomb robber. Happy now?
Bakura: Yep!
Yugi: That's better. Now I'm going to get a drink, and you had better be nice to Bakura, Yami!
Yami: Hmph.
Bakura: ...
Yami: What are you smirking at, tomb robber?
Bakura: ...MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Yami: Shut up!
Bakura: HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Bitch-whipped!!
Yami: Argh! Ryou!!!
Ryou: Yes?
Yami: Don't sneak up on me like that! Your yami is being... EVIL!!
Ryou: Oh?
Bakura: HAHAHAHAHA!!!
Ryou: Oh, I see.
Yami: He's laughing at me!
Ryou: I had gathered that, yes.
Bakura: Look, an angry elf! Or is it a Christmas tree? HAHAHAHAH!!!!!
Yami: ...What is he talking about?
Ryou: Don't worry, I speak fluent weirdo. He means that he's very sorry for upsetting you and he feels very guilty.
Yami: Oh. Well... good. I'm going to find Yugi before I send that laughing idiot to the shadow realm.
Bakura: Mwahahah. Remember not to feed Yugi after midnight! And don't get him wet! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Ryou: Ignore him, he does this all the time.
Yami: Hmph.
(Back with Kaiba and the others)
Jou: What's bitch-whipped?
Kaiba: I don't know, but it sounds like fun. We could always make something up.
Malik: Hey, you're rich, why don't you have one of those velcro sex-wall things?
Kaiba: That's a good question.
Jou: Uh... what?
Kaiba: I should get one.
Malik: Yeah, then you can stick Jou to it and molest him, and he won't be able to move.
Jou: Uh...
Kaiba: Or I could just chain him to the bed.
Malik: And smear him with honey.
Kaiba: And lick it off.
Malik: I'll help. I like honey.
Jou: Um...
Kaiba: We could have him with strawberries.
Malik: Sounds like a plan.
Jou: I'm going to run away now...
Kaiba: No you're not, you have to stay for the orgy.
Jou: We're having an orgy?
Malik: You didn't know?
Kaiba: It's a Christmas tradition. That's why Mokuba's not here. He's underage.
Jou: Um, does everyone else know about this, or were you just planning to spring it on them?
Malik: Oh, they all know. I guess we just forgot to tell you.
Kaiba: You can ask them if you like.
Jou: I will! I can't believe everyone would be in on this! Surely they're not that perverted! Yugi, c'mere!
Yugi: Yes?
Jou: Um...
Malik: He doesn't believe we're having an orgy later.
Yugi: Oh.
Jou: Oh?
Yugi: Well... we are? Why, don't you want to?
Jou: ...
Ryou: What's the matter?
Yugi: I was just telling Jou about the orgy.
Ryou: Oh.
Jou: I'm starting to feel out of my depth, here...
Bakura: You'd be out of your depth in a puddle. Is it orgy time yet? I'm bored with tormenting the Pharaoh.
Marik: Let's tie him up and pour chocolate sauce all over him!
Bakura: Good idea, let's go grab him while he's distracted.
Jou: Now I'm scared.
Honda: I'm straight, so I'm gonna go hide.
Otogi: Can I come?
Malik: But we had big plans for you, Otogi!
Otogi: Um...
Kaiba: Glad to see you approve.
Jou: Can I go hide, too?
Kaiba: Are you straight?
Jou: Well I slept with you and Malik, so obviously not...
Kaiba: Then no. And the orgy is compulsory. It was on the party invitation.
Jou: No it wasn't!
Kaiba: Didn't you read the small print?
Jou: Your Christmas party invitations had small print?!
Malik: Look, it says right here.
Jou: Damn, it does, too!
Marik: Look, we got the pharaoh!
Yami: Let go of me, you demented idiots!
Bakura: Um, no?
Marik: We want to play our new game with you!
Yami: What new game?
Bakura: It's called 'cover the pharaoh in chocolate sauce and molest him, then videotape it and give copies to everyone we know.'
Yami: What?! Let go of me! Yugi! Help!
Yugi: It's nice to see you're all finally getting along.
Bakura: Isn't it?
Marik: Yeah, we just love the pharaoh.
Yugi: Good.
Yami: whimper Ryou, you're almost sane, help me!
Ryou: Oh, don't worry, he won't hurt you. He just wants to play.
Bakura: Yeah, play.
Yami: Malik?
Malik: Sorry, Marik only listens to me when I take off my clothes, and the orgy hasn't started yet.
Marik: Yup.
Kaiba: Come on puppy, orgy time.
Jou: You sound way too happy.
Kaiba: Why shouldn't I be?
Jou: This is just... messed up.
Kaiba: True. Fun, though.
Ryou: Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
TBC
Yup. Review if you love me.