A/N: ::sigh:: Hardly anyone reviewed my favourite chapter. If you're
gonna slack, I will too---that's why this one's so short. Because you're
not reviewing. But that's okay, y'know, because I'm doing this for my
enjoyment, not for reviews. Really. It's just...::sob:: PLEASE!!!!! Give
me the reviews I so crave!
Disclaimers: ::sniffle:: So, um, yeah. I'm feeling very insecure at the moment. Please don't sue me ::pout::
Chapter 10: Almost (but not quite) Heading Out ~ ~ ~
Gandalf turned to the newly made Fellowship and gravely announced, "So it is decided. Frodo shall bear this burden for the good of all."
Hey, fuck you. I'm not a 'burden.' I'll have you know that Frodo should feel blessed just to be able to hold me.
Frodo sighed deeply. "This burden will be a difficult responsibility, but I will do it for the Shire."
Yeah, and fuck you too. Nobody's ever on *my* side.
...
Well?!?! Isn't anyone gonna comfort me?!?!?!
Legolas nudged Frodo sharply. "Ow! Um, I mean, I will be proud to bear the Ring, honoured that I have the chance so few do."
"Well if you don't want it, I'll bear it instead." Boromir, of course, horny bastard, always jumping at any opportunity to get his hands on me. All over me. Ugh. At least Aragorn (or Strider, or Estel, or whatever he's called) and Legolas are partly on my side every now and then. Like now, when Legolas gave Boromir that haughty and disapproving glare elves are so talented at, and Aragorn whacked him upside the head for even thinking of taking me.
All of a sudden, a squealing mass of white silk hurled itself into Aragorn's arms and promptly proceeded to permanently attach itself to his tunic. It was Arwen. "Oh, Aragorn, Elessar, the Elfstone, son of Arathorn, son of Isildur, don't leave, my love!"
Just *how* many names do you have??? Aragorn shot me a dirty look, then gingerly tried to shake the elf off. "Arwen, please. Let go. You're not even supposed to know I'm leaving. This was a private meeting."
"Oh, but my love for you was too great, so I followed you here, then hid in the bushes to listen in." Aragorn groaned. Ha, trust the loser to pick the only 500 year old girl in the world to still exhibit distinctly teenybopper-like tendencies to stalk people. "Listen to me, Arwen. I have to leave, and you have to let go, okay? Seriously. You're cutting off my circulation. Hey, I'll be needing these arms later on!"
"But you can't just leave me here! Take me with you! Let me spend all my waking hours kissing you and kissing you and kissing you and kissing you and kissing you and kissing you and kissing you and kissing you and kissing you and kissing you and kis--"
Around here, Legolas started pouting.
"sing you and kissing you and kissing you and kissing you and kissing you and kissing you a--"
Around here, his bottom lip began to tremble.
"nd kissing you and kissing you and kissing you and kissing you and kissing you and kissing you and kissing you and kissing you and kissing you and kissi--"
Just when it looked like he was about to cry, Aragorn managed to wrestle an arm from Arwen's death grip. He quickly tossed her into the bushes from whence she came, and wrapped Legolas up in his arms. You can guess what happened next. All of the meeting-goers quickly and quietly left.
Amid the clothes being thrown about and the ecstatic moans, Frodo managed to catch his uncle Bilbo signaling to him. Dammit. Not his uncle Bilbo! Although we parted on friendly terms, I don't really like to see any of my ex's once we've stopped being involved. Everything's just so awkward, y'know? Anyhow, Bilbo led Frodo to a room far from the courtyard/gazebo type thing we were in (but not far enough---bet you'd never guess that elf was a screamer).
Bilbo solemnly turned to his nephew. "Frodo, I realize that you are now going on a journey with a task now, much like I did many years ago. Back then, Gandalf was also there to guide me. He is a wise, wise man, but you must learn to never, *ever* listen to a damn thing he says."
Man! Gandalf was the one who forced Bilbo along on his quest? And now he's got Frodo going, too? I'm surprised hobbits don't run screaming from the room whenever Gandalf's around.
"Take this armour. It will be your best friend. Wear it at all times, especially when you're crossing water. Hopefully, it'll drag you down and drown you, thereby saving you from the horrible experiences that lay ahead. Especially if that horny bastard, Boromir, is going."
Frodo listened soundly to this wise advice and nodded, although he did give Bilbo a bit of a sideways look. He took the pretty pretty shiny armour, put it on, and went to find the rest of his Fellowship. It was resolved that we would set out bright and early the next morning. Which means one of us will have to get up at 3 am to knock on Legolas's door, seeing as it'll take at least two hours of wheedling and pleading to get Aragorn and his damn elf out of bed.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ TBC
Disclaimers: ::sniffle:: So, um, yeah. I'm feeling very insecure at the moment. Please don't sue me ::pout::
Chapter 10: Almost (but not quite) Heading Out ~ ~ ~
Gandalf turned to the newly made Fellowship and gravely announced, "So it is decided. Frodo shall bear this burden for the good of all."
Hey, fuck you. I'm not a 'burden.' I'll have you know that Frodo should feel blessed just to be able to hold me.
Frodo sighed deeply. "This burden will be a difficult responsibility, but I will do it for the Shire."
Yeah, and fuck you too. Nobody's ever on *my* side.
...
Well?!?! Isn't anyone gonna comfort me?!?!?!
Legolas nudged Frodo sharply. "Ow! Um, I mean, I will be proud to bear the Ring, honoured that I have the chance so few do."
"Well if you don't want it, I'll bear it instead." Boromir, of course, horny bastard, always jumping at any opportunity to get his hands on me. All over me. Ugh. At least Aragorn (or Strider, or Estel, or whatever he's called) and Legolas are partly on my side every now and then. Like now, when Legolas gave Boromir that haughty and disapproving glare elves are so talented at, and Aragorn whacked him upside the head for even thinking of taking me.
All of a sudden, a squealing mass of white silk hurled itself into Aragorn's arms and promptly proceeded to permanently attach itself to his tunic. It was Arwen. "Oh, Aragorn, Elessar, the Elfstone, son of Arathorn, son of Isildur, don't leave, my love!"
Just *how* many names do you have??? Aragorn shot me a dirty look, then gingerly tried to shake the elf off. "Arwen, please. Let go. You're not even supposed to know I'm leaving. This was a private meeting."
"Oh, but my love for you was too great, so I followed you here, then hid in the bushes to listen in." Aragorn groaned. Ha, trust the loser to pick the only 500 year old girl in the world to still exhibit distinctly teenybopper-like tendencies to stalk people. "Listen to me, Arwen. I have to leave, and you have to let go, okay? Seriously. You're cutting off my circulation. Hey, I'll be needing these arms later on!"
"But you can't just leave me here! Take me with you! Let me spend all my waking hours kissing you and kissing you and kissing you and kissing you and kissing you and kissing you and kissing you and kissing you and kissing you and kissing you and kis--"
Around here, Legolas started pouting.
"sing you and kissing you and kissing you and kissing you and kissing you and kissing you a--"
Around here, his bottom lip began to tremble.
"nd kissing you and kissing you and kissing you and kissing you and kissing you and kissing you and kissing you and kissing you and kissing you and kissi--"
Just when it looked like he was about to cry, Aragorn managed to wrestle an arm from Arwen's death grip. He quickly tossed her into the bushes from whence she came, and wrapped Legolas up in his arms. You can guess what happened next. All of the meeting-goers quickly and quietly left.
Amid the clothes being thrown about and the ecstatic moans, Frodo managed to catch his uncle Bilbo signaling to him. Dammit. Not his uncle Bilbo! Although we parted on friendly terms, I don't really like to see any of my ex's once we've stopped being involved. Everything's just so awkward, y'know? Anyhow, Bilbo led Frodo to a room far from the courtyard/gazebo type thing we were in (but not far enough---bet you'd never guess that elf was a screamer).
Bilbo solemnly turned to his nephew. "Frodo, I realize that you are now going on a journey with a task now, much like I did many years ago. Back then, Gandalf was also there to guide me. He is a wise, wise man, but you must learn to never, *ever* listen to a damn thing he says."
Man! Gandalf was the one who forced Bilbo along on his quest? And now he's got Frodo going, too? I'm surprised hobbits don't run screaming from the room whenever Gandalf's around.
"Take this armour. It will be your best friend. Wear it at all times, especially when you're crossing water. Hopefully, it'll drag you down and drown you, thereby saving you from the horrible experiences that lay ahead. Especially if that horny bastard, Boromir, is going."
Frodo listened soundly to this wise advice and nodded, although he did give Bilbo a bit of a sideways look. He took the pretty pretty shiny armour, put it on, and went to find the rest of his Fellowship. It was resolved that we would set out bright and early the next morning. Which means one of us will have to get up at 3 am to knock on Legolas's door, seeing as it'll take at least two hours of wheedling and pleading to get Aragorn and his damn elf out of bed.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ TBC