Red String

Deora ar mo Chori

(Tears on My Heart)

 The sky was clear, the leaves falling from the re-grown trees of the Shire. The weather was getting colder as October visited the Shire more and more. Miranda hugged her large thick coat around her more, walking beside Frodo. It was about a week since he was ill, and he seemed to have recovered. He just looked older and tired, like an old hobbit trapped inside a youthful body. Miranda looked at the clear sky as they walked down into Hobbiton Market. She'd visited Rosie, checking on the Gamgee's pregnancy and Frodo asked for her to accompany him.

 Frodo wore a simple white shirt, a light blue high buttoned vest, and a dark overcoat; he wore a pair of dark blue breeches as well. The whole attire topped off by the grey cloak he had received from Lorien. It made him look sadder, more solemn and worn in Miranda's mind. She didn't say anything; she didn't want to offend him. She had seen him after and during his illness…what the quest had cost him. She guessed that the quest had also cost his maimed hand…even though many in the Shire believed it was some accident somehow.

 "Something wrong, Miranda?" he asked as they took a turn on one of the paths. Miranda jumped from her thoughts, shaking her head. "Your mind seems far off, I was just curious."

 "It's alright." Miranda said. "I've just been thinking much of late." Frodo glanced at her with her formalness. "Maybe Olivia and Claudia's bickering is getting to me."

 "Olivia and Claudia?" Frodo asked, turning his full attention to her.

 "My in-laws I spoke of." Miranda answered. "They've just been complaining so much about how much I am missing out on." Frodo looked forward, solemn and content. "They say I am missing out on so much just because of those whom I spend time with and that I am not married yet."

 "To each his own." Frodo answered. "Everyone has a time that suites them."

 "When do you think someone should marry, Frodo?" Miranda asked, looking at him. He looked forward to their destination. After her had been ill, it had become harder for Miranda to tell his emotions, even in his eyes. He seemed distant more often now. The only thing she could tell was the light in his eyes (the one that Rosie said was only there when Miranda was talked about or when she was around). He seemed to be in thought though, even though he did not answer right away. Miranda smiled and waved to the little hobbits they passed, who returned the gesture. Their parents eyed the two, especially Frodo, before scurrying their children away. 

 Miranda glanced over and saw that Frodo had caught on to this, but he now looked ahead again and a slight hurt was in his eyes. She frowned, taking his hand in hers and squeezing to comfort him. He squeezed back lightly, and didn't remove his hand from hers.

 Frodo suddenly answered her question. "Everyone has a time with they are ready, you can't push them or force them to marry." Miranda looked at him. "If you believe in it, there is a special someone for everyone; you just have to find them."

 "Do you believe that?" Miranda asked. Frodo glanced at her through the corner of his eyes as if to say 'what about you?' Miranda looked forward now. "When I was younger, I did. I mean, what girl doesn't? Finding your 'knight in shining armor' and having them take care of you and love you till the worlds end is something that all girls fantasize about when they are little." She blushed a little. "I suppose I grew up out of that. But, I do think there is someone that maybe you are meant to be with, it's nice to think that." She turned her gaze to him, seeing that he was still looking forward, an unreadable expression on his face.

 "I never really believed it." He answered softly. "It seemed rather silly of girls to think that, then again I was a lad when I thought that." Miranda nodded in understanding. "But, I don't think I do at all. Maybe others have someone for them, but I don't think that I do, not after…" he trailed off in the middle of his thought. Miranda looked at him oddly. "When will you be returning for Buckland?" he asked out of no where.

 Miranda shrugged honestly. "I don't know…Olo and Ronald may be inviting Aunt Lilly and me to Buckland for the holidays, but she doesn't like traveling much." She looked at him. "How about you? Sam and Rosie have anything planned?"

 "They are going to be spending the holidays at the Cotton's home." Frodo informed. "The Gamgee's are going to be joining them there, and so Bag End will be a very empty place." Miranda looked at the ground in thought. "Perhaps you and your Aunt would like to come?" he asked softly and almost hesitantly. Miranda smiled and looked up at him. Frodo looked at her, seemingly shy about asking such a thing.

 "Of course!" Miranda said happily, grabbing onto his arm with both hands in excitement. Frodo was surprised by her outburst. "No one should have to be alone during family holidays, Frodo Baggins."

~*~

 Aunt Lilly looked up from her sweeping (getting those old leaves from the fallen trees off her front step) as Frodo and Miranda came down the road; Miranda was carrying a basket with food in it, her other arm wrapped around Frodo's as held it out to her in a gentleman fashion. Aunt Lilly smiled to herself as Frodo came up to the gate and nodded in greetings and Miranda opened the gate. Frodo came up behind her as Miranda held the basket out to her Aunt.

 "Here are the veggies you wanted me to buy." Miranda said. Aunt Lilly chuckled at her childish talk and stepped aside for Miranda to move into the hole.

 "Good day to you, Mr. Baggins." Aunt Lilly said, nodding. Frodo smiled. "I see you are faring well in the chilly weather that has come down upon our little Shire. The Predictor, Miss Primrose Tussle, said it was going to be a very cold one, the worst we've had in the Shire for a long while. I wouldn't doubt her."

 "Yes, according to what I've heard she's always been rather good at predicting the weather." Frodo said thoughtfully. "Fall started early this year."

 "The trees probably getting a head start on their sleeping." Aunt Lilly said, sweeping again. "After the ruckus that Sharkey caused, wouldn't surprise me a darn bit if the trees want to sleep a little early this year! The poor things."

 Miranda returned from the hole and smiled. "They are all away, Aunt." Aunt Lilly nodded, sweeping again. Frodo looked at Miranda then at Aunt Lilly. Miranda could tell that he wanted to walk with her more, even though they had spent the whole day walking already. "If it is fine with you, I'm going to go finish our walk."

 Aunt Lilly nodded, and grabbed Miranda' by the arm first; Miranda leaned over to hear what her Aunt wanted. "Think love is bloomin' a little early, don't you think? Normally that isn't until spring!" Miranda flushed a shade of red, sending her Aunt into seldom chuckles. "Go on, Miranda, I'll close early today."

 Miranda nodded and took Frodo's arm again, and the two continued to wander about Hobbiton and the Bywater area. Frodo led her through a small brush area, next to the wooded part of the Bywater Lake. He sat down under a shade of a tree, and Miranda sad soundly down next to him.

 "I used to sit here during the spring and summer, reading a book." He said as he recalled a memory. "After Bilbo adopted me….I didn't fit that much into Hobbiton, and Sam was always gardening or to young to speak with things about, so I turned to books." Miranda nodded. "I also liked to come here and just think about things….what had happened to me, where my life was going to go after my parents had died, how to be accepted into Hobbiton."

 "They seem to accept you now." Miranda mentioned, Frodo gave a sad smug smirk.

 "Only because I saved the Shire….and I am of high social status." He said, almost sadly. "They never really liked Tooks…and, seeing how Bilbo was my Uncle, I have a bit in me." He sighed, leaning against the back of the large oak. There was a silence and Miranda folded her arms in her lap, looking up at the sky. "I suppose I should finish my tale…or, at least start back on it."

 "Frodo, you don't have too."

 "I know." He answered. "I want too." Miranda nodded, looking at him. Frodo thought for a moment to recall where he had left off in his tale, the day before he had spoken of the Breaking of the Fellowship, just briefly since she had to return to her Aunt's home and help with her.
 "Sam and I climbed through Emyn Muil." He said. "We were lost through the maze of the razor sharp rocks, not really sure where we were going. We had spent a fair good two days before I noticed that we were being followed." Miranda leaned closer. "Sam and I set a trap for our stalker who turned out to be Gollum….he was after the Ring, since Mordor had taken him prisoner and used information out of him to find the Ring…that's how the Nazgûl found me." He sighed sadly. "I was able to have Gollum bound to a promise on his 'precious'."

 "Did his promise keep true?"

 "That'll show through out the next several advents." Frodo said calmly. "Gollum lead us through the rocks, since his promise was to lead Sam and me to the Black Gate of Mordor. We then were bounded into a bog. It turned out to be called the 'Dead Marshes', a place where a Battle in the Second Age happened between the Elves and the Dark Lord. Their bodies were in the water, still as death. I don't remember much…it was much like walking through a dream. Sam nearly stepped into one…when Gollum informed us that the fires we saw were lights that they had set." Miranda let out a squeak and Frodo looked at her, to see that she had her arms wrapped around her and she was shuddering. "Are you alright?"

 "I hate dead things!" She nearly gave out a shriek. Frodo looked at her worriedly, his eyebrows drawn into a frown. "They always look so peaceful in death…but, they are so still like a snake pretending to play dead….and then they might jump at you…" she shuddered again. "I've developed a phobia of death."

 "A fear….or hatred?"  Frodo asked. Miranda looked up at him, the visual image that Frodo's tale had given her had been clearly terrifying to her mind. "Many times we think that hatred is truly fear…or fear is truly hatred. You are afraid of it happening, but you hate it for taking those away from you."

 "You speak from experience?" Miranda asked softly. Frodo looked down and nodded. Miranda felt a buzz go up her spine. She thought back now of Frodo's wound and how ill he looked….and how she feared that he would die in his illness. She bit her lip, seeing Frodo lay out in a casket at a burial in her mind, looking peacefully still…the eerie still. The still that even though they seemed still, that you get the feeling it would jump out at you. She could also see him lying dead in the waters of that horrid marsh. Miranda let out a soft shriek of fear and anguish, grabbing onto Frodo's arm and buried her head in his forearm.

 Frodo was taken off guard but pulled her into his arms and held her. Miranda shook like a frightened child, keeping her head buried now in his chest. He laid his head on top of hers, wanting to help her drive away all the fear and anguish that she felt for him. But how could he do that if he couldn't even pick up the strands of his old life after his quest? He sighed.

 "Y-you…won't die from your illness….will you?" Miranda asked softly. Frodo didn't answer. "Y-you…you'll be fine….right?"

 Frodo did not want to answer her at first. She pulled her head away, looking up at him. Frodo sighed sadly, closing his eyes. "Miranda, part of me died on my quest…and what's left of me is slowly being chipped away by scars and memories…this is why they want me to sail into the West with the Elves…to heal, not only body but heart and spirit."

 "But you said some wounds can't be healed!" she said, tears running down her face. She didn't want Frodo to sail beyond the borders of the world and leave her…even if some Elf said he needed to!

 "They cannot be healed by worldly medicines." Frodo answered. "Valinor is beyond the borders of the mortal world, Miranda….the place where the holies are said to reside and watch the world."

 "You…you wouldn't be coming back….if you sailed….?" Her voice dropped into a whisper. Frodo closed his eyes, unsure he wanted to answer this. Miranda bit her lip, knowing the answer in her heart. Frodo would not be able to return to the Shire…he would have to remain in the Undying Lands until his mortal body decayed…who knew how long that would be? Miranda shook her head furiously.

 "I don't want you to die." She said, trying to control her now sobs. "You shouldn't have to be condemned after you did such wonderful things! How can they think of repaying you this way, those holies in the far off land?!" she said through sobs. "All you wanted was to return to the Shire….how…how can…" she broke off, unable to contain herself. Her fear of death, her fear of Frodo leaving and never returning, her anguish for what had happened to this poor hobbit broke her heart, and made it hurt.

 "Sometimes, you don't save things for yourself." He answered, holding her as she cried. He laid his head on top of hers again. "Sometimes you must let go…and you start to realize that there is no turning back…that you can't become what you were before." Miranda clutched onto his light blue vest as if to beg him not to say it. "You find that you have to move on, and that it's more painful to live in the shadows of your old self."

 Miranda cried. She wanted to say that she didn't want him to leave, that she wanted to help him heal, and that she loved him. But every time she tried the words wouldn't come out.

-*-

A/N: Another angsty chapter ;_;. Chapter name comes from Enya's song Deora Ar Mo Chori from her album "A Day Without Rain", I love this song ^_^ And it fits….yes most of my inspiration comes from songs.

Ivy Borrows: I'm told I can make people cry ^_^;;

FrodoBaggins87: I'm glad you still enjoy the story.

Carcliwen Greenleaf: Hehe, who doesn't love Frodo! ^_^