Red String

A String Forms

 "You sure you are going to be alright?" Miranda asked, watching as Sam and Rosie packed their things the next afternoon. They were heading off for the Cotton's home, and had offered Aunt Lilly a ride to the carriage station to Buckland. Aunt Lilly was required now to go and speak with Miranda's brothers on what to do of the lost property and items due to the fire.

 Aunt Lilly smiled and patted her shoulder. "I'll be fine, Miranda, don't worry about me. Mr. Gamgee can take care of anything." She and Miranda gave off a small laugh. Aunt Lilly turned her attention to watch Frodo and Sam as the two exchanged the last few words about final preparations. Miranda smiled, and turned as she saw her aunt looking at her. Aunt Lilly smiled. "Miranda, you should stay, and I should say why." Miranda turned her full attention now.

 "Frodo shouldn't be left alone for such an extended amount of time." Aunt Lilly said softly. "Hobbits aren't naturally depressed and so secluded…you may be able to help him recover, Miranda. And don't let what he says discourage you, he doesn't want others to worry." Miranda wondered how her Aunt knew so many things by just analyzing a person. "Just be close and make sure he knows that you'll be there for him, that's all."

 Sam came over. "Alright, Miss Lilly, we are all ready." He helped Aunt Lilly into the small carriage that they had rented. Aunt Lilly sat down comfortably and waved goodbye as Sam drove the wagon down the road of Bagshot. Miranda waved good-bye, Rosie also waving.

 Frodo came up behind Miranda as the carriage slowly drove from sight. He looked down at Miranda as she turned to him. "Bag End is very boring and lonely, Miranda. Are you sure you'd want to stay?"

 "If I'm here, then you won't be lonely." She smiled, he nodded.

~*~

Miranda opened the door to Frodo's study that night. He sat at the small wooden desk under the window, the fire crackling in the fire place on the wall beside him. She came in, placing the small cup of hot cocoa on the table beside the desk. Frodo didn't answer, and continued to write in the book. She looked over his shoulder at his writing, seeing that his bold script had written out the tale of the Barrow Downs. She smiled, reading over the sentences and words that Frodo had written.

 "Bilbo asked me to write of my adventure." He said, startling her. "So, I am doing that for him…and hopefully, it'll be the last thing I can give him before he leaves into the West." Miranda tilted her head. "Bilbo has been given a special honor, to sail with the Elves on the last ship of Middle-Earth." He looked up at her, and she averted her eyes down. He knew what she was thinking, 'and the ship that you will be sailing on.' 

 Miranda smiled then, despite the sorrow in her eyes.  "I'm sure that Bilbo will be thrilled." Frodo nodded, looking back down at the book. A silence came between the two. "…how much of your adventure will you write in your uncle's book?"

 Frodo sighed, looking out the window for a moment, his hands in front of his mouth, and elbows on the desk. He thought for a long moment, moving his left thumb over the stub on his right hand. "I want to end it different that I did, but I cannot." He spoke softly. "I cannot change what transpired, what happened to me. Though, I do plan to end my part of the tale off happily….before I give the book to Sam."

 " 'And he lived happily, till the end of his days in the West'?" Miranda asked sadly. She looked at his face, but it didn't change. He continued to move his thumb over his maimed hand, his eyes turned to a tint of sadness. Miranda placed her hand over his, squeezing them. Frodo looked at her through the corner of his eyes, and she gave a small bittersweet smile. He looked back out the window. Miranda looked out as well, seeing white flakes fall from the sky, and beginning to bunch up onto the window sill. "The first snow fall of the year." She said.

 "I never liked it." He said softly. Miranda looked back at him. "It's wet and cold…no one really wanted to spend time with me in the snow after my parents died." He sighed. "I stayed in most the time, reading and learning…not much else to do in Hobbiton where you aren't liked."

 Miranda moved her gaze to the book for a moment, then at him. "Well, then we don't have to go outside!" she said, pulling him to his feet. He looked down at her questioningly. "We can just sit and talk about whatever you want, Frodo. You won't do any kind of healing locking yourself away."

 Frodo let out a heavy sigh and moved over to the settee across from the fireplace, letting he sink into the cushions. "Miranda, no one can fully understand what it was like…how can someone help another to heal if they do not understand what the disease is?" he asked, not looking at her but at the flames. "Healing of the spirit takes longer and more care to come back stronger than it did before…it isn't some cold that goes and comes." Miranda looked offended.

 "Are you saying that I don't know that!?" she asked hotly. Frodo didn't answer. "I may not fully understand what has happened to you, Frodo Baggins, but I can understand most of it. I want to help you!"

 Frodo sighed. "We've been through this before." He spoke in a low calming voice. "Aragorn cannot help, the Elves cannot, nor Sam. You may know the facts Miranda, you may know the accounts, but you do not know the feeling." Miranda came over to him, but he refused to look at her. "The feeling of loosing yourself."

 Miranda took his maimed hand in hers and bent down in front of him, but he didn't look at her. "You are saying that…I am as useless as the others when it comes to this?" she asked softly. Frodo's eyebrows drew into a frown, unsure of what she meant. "Are you saying that I am not special to you at all….?" Miranda bit the inside of her mouth, feeling hurt by her own question in her heart. Frodo closed his eyes, not answering her, though he looked hurt by the question as well.

 Frodo removed his hand from hers, folding it with his other. Miranda closed her eyes sadly. "You want to know that badly?" he asked tonelessly. "You want to know so that you can be hurt because you cannot help? Fine, I'll finish my tale….but, I do not want you to watch me." Miranda wasn't sure what to do now, but she did as she was asked, and sat in the chair, turning it to the fire so she could not see him. She looked down at her hands sadly; running her fingers over another…this was never how she had imagined her love life to be.

 "No use in snooping around him, he'll get you nothing in life!" Olivia had told her. Miranda clenched her hands together. Maybe Olivia was right. She looked down at her hands sadly. There could be no relationship if Frodo wouldn't accept her love. How could he accept her love he could not even accept her as a healer….

 Frodo quickly went over the events of meeting Faramir, the brother of Boromir, and the Black Gate. He spoke of Minas Morgul bluntly, not too much about the Army had to deal with his tale.

 "Sméagol had led Sam and me into a trap." He spoke. "The secret tunnel was truly a cavern of Shelob, a spider that is always hungry. She chased Sam and me down, until we were separated. I fought against her with Sting and the phial of Lady Galadriel, until she had disappeared. I ran to an opening, but just as I had come out, the spider had stung me." He was quiet for a moment. "When I awoke, I was in the hands of a group of Orcs that had taken me to the tower I had seen earlier…not Bara-dûr, but another. I was unable to think straight…and they began to strip me to send what they could of the 'Elf Spy' to their Dark Lord. Through the chaos and insanity, I was aware that I no longer had the Ring.

 "I felt like I had been torn. The world was doomed because of my weakness, and I had nothing left to live for. The Orcs beat me with whips and anything they could find, finding pleasure in the torture they gave to me. After they had taken everything, they placed me at the top of their tower, alone. I lay in the piles of rags on the ground, not wanting to move. I was too afraid of being hurt again, to afraid of having to see what the world would be like now that I had failed…." He paused. "The thought of Sam or his whereabouts had never come to my mind. The only thought in my mind was about the Ring…and how much I desired it then, a small part of me finally realized how much like Sméagol I had become. I had begun to no longer care about what was going on in the world, what would become of me, as long as I had the Ring, I didn't care."

 He fell silent for a long moment. Miranda brought her hand to her face, moving her tears away from her face. This poor hobbit had gone through so many horrible things, and he still refused to let anyone help heal him. Miranda looked down at her hands sadly. She wondered then….if the Ring had taken away his ability to love. She bit her lip, feeling more tears come down her face. If that was true, then he wouldn't be able to accept or respond to her love…the only love and feeling of wellness he would remember is when he possessed the Ring. He wouldn't be able to love her, no matter how much she tried to give him. "No use in snooping around him, he'll get you nothing in life!" the words repeated again.

 "Fighting began down below. I didn't care, I hopped that one of them would come and slay me. But, it didn't. Once the cries lessened, I thought I heard a voice singing…I then thought that I had finally lost my mind, and that I was going to drive myself to death due to insanity. I weakly answered, and in return an Orc came. I flung my arms above my head to shield myself from the pain, from the death that he would strike me with. But it never came; I opened my eyes and found that Sam had come. He had fought the spider, and came to save me. I told him that it would not matter; that the Enemy had the Ring…I did not tell him of my desire for it.

 "It had turned out that Sam had the Ring. He mistook me for dead, and took the Ring to finish the task, like Elrond had told him too. I didn't care then about what he had gone through, how heart broken and joyful he was to see me alive. As soon as I saw the Ring, I attacked him weakly, demanding he return the Ring to me. He did, although I knew in my heart he did not want me to suffer anymore. Sam collected Orc armor for us, since my things had been destroyed. We then started out from the tower and began across Mordor."

 He let out a shaky sigh, and Miranda was now aware that he had silently been crying. "Is this what you wanted to know, Miranda?" he asked sadly. "I did not want to tell you….I did not want to hurt you, I know this does." She couldn't answer. He kept silent for a moment to recollect him.

 "I began to loose my surroundings. I wasn't aware of what was truly happening around me…my perception of the world was fading. The Ring was slowly taking whatever was left of me… like it had with Gollum, so it would not be thrown into the fires. I began to forget things. The Shire, the feel of wind, the sound of water…the taste of bread…even what I had dreamed of having when I was a child, even the pain from the spider wound and those on my back left me." He took in a shaking breath. "I could no longer remember my family, Bilbo…my parents, no one. I am surprised I even remembered Sam. The only time I would remember these things was when I fell or stumbled, the bodily pain would bring me back for a moment….me, Frodo Baggins, not the mindless Ringbearer I had become.

 "I ended up feeling as a failure again…I still do." He spoke softly. "When we reached the Cracks Of Doom, Sam had to carry me…I had no strength. Gollum attacked us…and I finally found something in me that told me that I had to finish my task. Perhaps it was my spirit, knowing that I would die when this task was done. I remember standing there, before the lava…and Sam called to me. I did not see a reason to fight against the Ring anymore…I could no longer remember myself or anything….why not let the Ring claim what was left of me?...and so, I did. I claimed the Ring as mine…and Gollum attacked me. We fought, and he had bitten my finger off in order to regain the Ring. As I fell to my knees, he danced like a maniac, and fell into the lava. Gollum saved Middle-Earth, not me."

 There was a long still silence. The snow had stopped falling outside. Frodo shifted in the settee, letting out a heavy sigh. "It was not the end, like I had hopped Gandalf…who had come back to life, saved me and Sam from our deaths. Aragorn healed us, and became King of Gondor, and married the Elven Princess, Arwen. Merry and Pippin were knights of Gondor and Rohan…everyone seemed to have a fitting happy ending besides me." He looked at Miranda's back. "When I returned to the Shire, I had hopped to live as I had…but, I can't. The Ring destroyed part of me, why not let the rest of me go along with it? If I go to the Uttermost West with the Elves, I'll seek the peace I need."

 "Will you receive your healing?" Miranda asked her voice thick with tears. Frodo looked down. "Even in the West you will have to bear your pains."

 "It will be easier."

 "Do you really think so?" Miranda asked. "You will be away from any you know, Frodo. Even if you went with Bilbo, he would die, and you would live for at least another ten years lonely. Do you really think it'll be that much better over there?" Frodo sighed. "Your body may heal your spirit…but, will your heart?"

 Miranda stood and turned to him slowly, coming and sitting next to him. She took one of his hands in hers, and turned his face to her with her other hand. She could see him now, so old and weary, almost as if he were an old man trapped in his youthful appearance. "You are right, Frodo. The Ring did destroy part of you…" he tried to move his face away, not wanting to face her, but she moved his face back, tears were in his eyes. "But, you do not see what I do. You don't see it."

 Frodo moved his face closer to hers, as if trying to read the expression and answer in her eyes. "And what is this, this thing you can see? How can you know more about me than I know of myself?"

 Miranda smiled sadly, a few tears rolling down slowly on her face. "You dwell to much and keep yourself blinded." She took both his hands in hers, pressing them together and kissing them. "Even though the Ring tore you apart, there are seeds planted of where your former self was, Frodo. You are growing into a more beautiful being, one that is more wise…I'd rather you allow yourself to become this person you are transfiguring into becoming, than a normal hobbit that walks around in the Shire. What the Ring took from you and gave to you in return is something great and wonderful…but you aren't allowing yourself to change, you are afraid." He stayed silent.

 She closed her eyes sadly then. He hadn't answered, and she was slowly beginning to feel that heart breaking feeling of uselessness again…as if she could not help the ones she loved and cherished at all. She felt her head lower, as if weighed down by her own Ring around her neck. Frodo moved his maimed hand from her hold, and brushed the tears from her face, then moved the hair from her face behind her rounded pointed ear. Miranda moved her face away, letting his left hand free from his grip. IF he really did believe she could not help him, then she'd leave.

 As she stood Frodo took her hands in his, sitting her back down on the settee. He now turned her to face him, looking at her solemnly. "Perhaps you are right, Miranda." He said softly. He gave her a small sad smile, moving more hair behind her ear. "Maybe what I need is here where I wanted to be all through out my journey, but I've blinded myself." Miranda looked up into his eyes, unsure of what to say. He was very talented at playing physiological games…maybe too talented. Miranda shook her head, and opened her mouth to protest, but he moved his finger to her lips, pressing it against them. "I know what you'd say, Miranda, but some how I don't think that is what you really feel."

 Frodo then kissed her. She was surprised at first…it wasn't magical like she thought it would be. No bright fireworks or happy fairy dust…just a warm feeling in her heart, knowing that she was loved. But then again that's all she needed, she didn't need a fancy way to be told that he loved her. Miranda closed her eyes and pressed her lips against his, feeling him bring her closer. To Miranda it felt as if they had already been lovers, with how close they were.

 And the kiss only wrote the fact into stone.

 Frodo broke the kiss, keeping his face close to hers. Miranda looked up at him, wondering why he had kissed her. Even though her heart said the answer, it just seemed off to her. She smiled though, and he smiled back, kissing her again. She wrapped her arms around his neck, as he pulled her into his lap. She tilted her head as the kiss deepened, pressing herself against him as his normal hand crept up her back, and into her hair. Frodo kissed her lower lip, then down her neck slowly, and then buried his face between her neck and shoulder. Miranda laid her head on top of his, hugging him. He relaxed into her arms, laying his head on her shoulder.

 "How can you accept me…." He asked softly. "After hearing all I've done…."

 Miranda shook her head sadly, lifting his head from her shoulder. "Frodo, you told the Council you'd take the Ring to Mordor." She said softly. "You never once told them you'd destroy it…you put that obligation onto yourself, you did not fail in your quest." He sighed and did not agree with her even then. She kissed his brow gently, putting her forehead to his. He gave her a weak smile and kissed her again with no hesitation. Miranda kissed back lovingly, pressing him against the back of the settee. Their lips parted, and she rested her head against his wounded shoulder, closing her eyes.

 How funny it was, how quickly rolls were switched. Miranda now had to be the strong one…instead of how she always thought it would be, her lover being the stronger.

-*-

A/N: Long chapter. Romance begins. Fluff is good. Frodo kissed Miranda happy! It would have been a longer romance scene, but, I wasn't in the mood. So, next love scene will be long (I hope). Hehe.

Ivy Borrows: ^_^ I think Frodo's heading down that road.

FrodoBaggins87: Yes she does ^^ check out "enya.org" and you can find out a lot of stuff

Carcilwen Greenleaf: Glad you squealed, I take that as a Nazgul-Comment (mwahahaha).

Zam Kenobi: What hole? Lol Fluff is good.