Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of the Potterverse characters, I am simply borrowing them and will return them in full working order. And obviously I don't own Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint or Alan Rickman(this brings a tear to my eye) and they are being used without permission.
Chaimera: Ahh a second instalment.
C.C: Ahh the crappyness of it all.
Chaimera: Shut it.
Kaz: Get on with it.
The Second Coming.
Severus Snape hated children.
He hated teaching.
And he especially hated teenage girls. He glared at the pile of letters that had been growing rapidly, in the corner of his office. He wasn't sure what he had done to deserve this. He could spot a few howlers in the mound of parchment, some already smouldering at the corners. Some how those wretched fan-girls had found out how to contact him. He growled and set some of the letters on fire for good measure. It had taken him and that Potter brat four hours to escape from muggle London without being cornered by a blood thirsty mob the last time. It just wasn't fair. Severus knew that he was whining, but he really didn't care. He knew from experience that fan-girls would stop at nothing to get an elusive quote or autograph. He didn't want to think about what the more hardcore ones wanted. It really, really wasn't fair!!
"Hermione for the last time, this really isn't funny!!" Harry said crossly as he touched the long scratch on his cheek gingerly. The bushy haired girl in question would have replied but she was concentrating on trying to breath through her hysterical giggles. Ron threw in a glare of his own for good measure and massaged his arm where one girl had had a death grip upon him.
"But it really is." Said Hermione after reclaiming some air to her lungs.
Harry glared at the girl. "You just wait 'Mione. Your time will come."
She smiled sweetly at the two of them as they all made their way back to the castle. "Oh, I seriously doubt that. I wonder how they found Hogsmeade. Its nearly impossible to get to by muggle transport." Harry grimaced. "Nothings impossible for these girls. Next thing they'll have gotten in to the castle." Ron paled "You don't think they could, do you?"
Hermione giggled again and Ron thumped her lightly on the arm. "Harry's right you know. What goes around comes around."
"Why Ron Weasley!" She proclaimed sarcastically "How very profound of you!"
Harry turned to the pair in the entrance hall. "I need to go see Snape for a second. I'll meet you guys up there."
Ron peered at him closely. "Going to see Snape voluntarily huh? You feeling ok?"
"Yeah, I just need to tell him something."
"Well I'd better go with you, just in case the over grown bat tries to eat you. We'll see you in a few 'Mione." She nodded and headed up the stairs towards Gryffindor tower while the boys headed down into the dungeons.
Ron shivered as the dark corridors of the dungeons loomed ahead. "Why are we down here again?" "Just for a min…."
"Don't you have to be somewhere else?" The two boys jumped as a venomous voice pierced the silence. Severus glared down his nose at the two boys.
"Professor, we were just looking for you."
"How very unfortunate for me."
Harry scowled. "I just came to warn you that the fa…."
All three of them froze as a giggle and the sound of running feet came from behind them. Ron's freckles stood out on his paler than usual skin. "You don't think?"
"How could they have gotten in?"
"It impossible. No muggle is able to enter the castle."
A small shriek and a call of "I found them!" emanated from a short distance away. "You sure about that professor?" Asked Harry as he set off at a run.
All three dodged in to an empty class room and Ron sank down to the floor. "How the hell did they manage to get in?"
"God only knows, but their bloody single minded." Ron looked at the door nervously as the sound of an enthusiastic mob of fan-girls approached. "Usually I'd be happy to be chased down by girls, but this is just too much."
"Really Weasley, if you would just shut up we can find away to get out of this mess." Snape growled, scanning the room for an alternative means of escape. Harry was doing the same and they both came up empty handed.
"Of all the rooms in this sodding castle, we had to go into the one with no windows and no fireplace." Ron jumped as Snape kicked a cupboard at the side of the room. "Since when did a greasy git like him get girls chasing after him?" Ron hissed as Harry as the pair watched Snape continue to demolish the room in a bout of uncharacteristic lack of control. Harry just shrugged and scratched his head in thought.
"What if we set Peeves on them?" Snape paused in his destruction and looked at them for a moment. He then shook his head and sneered. "They'd probably scare him more." He then returned to the various acts of vandalism he was committing.
Harry sat back against the wall and sighed as he heard the search for them continue out side the room. "You know, I kinda feel like joining him."
Fifteen minuets later they were still there, minus several pieces of furniture. Suddenly Snape stopped his rampage and look at the door, obviously deep in thought. Ron sat up. "Hey Harry, I think the old bastards had an epiphany."
Harry looked at him. "Either that or he's trying to decide whish of us he's going to kill first." Then Snape strode over to the cupboard we mentioned earlier. He flung open the doors and out stepped a Death Eater, covered in blood and pointing a wand straight at his chest. The boys jumped to their feet but a second later it had been reduced to a few whisps of smoke and Snape closed the doors.
"Boggart." Muttered Harry.
"Well done Mr. Potter. I see your skills of deduction are still as acute as ever" Sneered Snape as he moved towards the door.
Ron looked puzzled. "Yeah it's a boggart. So what?"
Snape rolled his eyes in disgust. "That boggart, you two dunderheads, is going to be the solution to our en masse hormone ridden problem."
Snape took a bag that had been abandoned in the corner of the room and forced the boggart in side it. "Wait here." He ordered harshly. The boys watched through the crack in the door as Snape set the bag down in the middle of the corridor, opened it and then darted around the corner. They could hear laughing and a small group of the girls rounded the corner. Suddenly they were looking at them selves. Harry was forcibly reminded of their third year when he and Hermione went back in time to save Sirius. The boggart had become all three of them. The group stopped in front of the boggart not quite sure what was going on. The boggart Snape stepped forward and addressed the girl at the front of the group. She had pink hair pulled in to a loose bun and clutched a poster of Snape to her chest. A red headed girl clutched her arm, wearing a "Mrs. Harry Potter" t-shirt. The boggart Snape looked kindly down on the small group.
Now that just doesn't look right.thought Harry.
"Now girls," The boggart Snape said gently. "I hate to tell you this, but we're all actors. None of this is real." The girls began to shake their heads but the boggart continued. "I'm Alan Rickman, this is Rupert Grint and Daniel Radcliffe. Now, how about some tea, and we'll sort all this out."
"I've never heard anyone scream like that in my life." Ron looked pale and took the chocolate frog offered by a still giggling Hermione.
Harry nodded. "And what was that she was shouting about wanting the old mean Snape back?" (Yes we do love our snarky Sev, don't we?) Hermione glanced over to the window where three owls were scrambling to get in.
She smiled "Looks like the fan mail's in for today boys." The pair groaned as she opened the windows, letting the owls in. Substantial piled of letters were dumped in front of the boys but the third owl delivered a small stack of letters to Hermione. She opened the first one and blanched. "Oh no!" Harry grinned at her as he glanced at the letter.
"We warned you 'Mione, there are such things as fan-boys."
End
Chaimera: Ashamed as I am, yes I did write my self and my best friend into this fic.
Kaz: Oh the horror!!
C.C: That's pretty low.
Chaimera: Oh be quiet before I sit on your head.
Kaz: Hmmph, wouldn't be the first time.
Chaimera: Anyway, I'm the one with pink hair, which I actually have this week, and yes my best friend really does want to marry Harry.
Rayne: Yes, but she a freak.
Chaimera: Zip it you over sized glow worm. Any way, I need more mob people, cause I think I'm gonna do one more.
Kaz: That means REVIEW people.
Ciao
Chaimera: Ahh a second instalment.
C.C: Ahh the crappyness of it all.
Chaimera: Shut it.
Kaz: Get on with it.
The Second Coming.
Severus Snape hated children.
He hated teaching.
And he especially hated teenage girls. He glared at the pile of letters that had been growing rapidly, in the corner of his office. He wasn't sure what he had done to deserve this. He could spot a few howlers in the mound of parchment, some already smouldering at the corners. Some how those wretched fan-girls had found out how to contact him. He growled and set some of the letters on fire for good measure. It had taken him and that Potter brat four hours to escape from muggle London without being cornered by a blood thirsty mob the last time. It just wasn't fair. Severus knew that he was whining, but he really didn't care. He knew from experience that fan-girls would stop at nothing to get an elusive quote or autograph. He didn't want to think about what the more hardcore ones wanted. It really, really wasn't fair!!
"Hermione for the last time, this really isn't funny!!" Harry said crossly as he touched the long scratch on his cheek gingerly. The bushy haired girl in question would have replied but she was concentrating on trying to breath through her hysterical giggles. Ron threw in a glare of his own for good measure and massaged his arm where one girl had had a death grip upon him.
"But it really is." Said Hermione after reclaiming some air to her lungs.
Harry glared at the girl. "You just wait 'Mione. Your time will come."
She smiled sweetly at the two of them as they all made their way back to the castle. "Oh, I seriously doubt that. I wonder how they found Hogsmeade. Its nearly impossible to get to by muggle transport." Harry grimaced. "Nothings impossible for these girls. Next thing they'll have gotten in to the castle." Ron paled "You don't think they could, do you?"
Hermione giggled again and Ron thumped her lightly on the arm. "Harry's right you know. What goes around comes around."
"Why Ron Weasley!" She proclaimed sarcastically "How very profound of you!"
Harry turned to the pair in the entrance hall. "I need to go see Snape for a second. I'll meet you guys up there."
Ron peered at him closely. "Going to see Snape voluntarily huh? You feeling ok?"
"Yeah, I just need to tell him something."
"Well I'd better go with you, just in case the over grown bat tries to eat you. We'll see you in a few 'Mione." She nodded and headed up the stairs towards Gryffindor tower while the boys headed down into the dungeons.
Ron shivered as the dark corridors of the dungeons loomed ahead. "Why are we down here again?" "Just for a min…."
"Don't you have to be somewhere else?" The two boys jumped as a venomous voice pierced the silence. Severus glared down his nose at the two boys.
"Professor, we were just looking for you."
"How very unfortunate for me."
Harry scowled. "I just came to warn you that the fa…."
All three of them froze as a giggle and the sound of running feet came from behind them. Ron's freckles stood out on his paler than usual skin. "You don't think?"
"How could they have gotten in?"
"It impossible. No muggle is able to enter the castle."
A small shriek and a call of "I found them!" emanated from a short distance away. "You sure about that professor?" Asked Harry as he set off at a run.
All three dodged in to an empty class room and Ron sank down to the floor. "How the hell did they manage to get in?"
"God only knows, but their bloody single minded." Ron looked at the door nervously as the sound of an enthusiastic mob of fan-girls approached. "Usually I'd be happy to be chased down by girls, but this is just too much."
"Really Weasley, if you would just shut up we can find away to get out of this mess." Snape growled, scanning the room for an alternative means of escape. Harry was doing the same and they both came up empty handed.
"Of all the rooms in this sodding castle, we had to go into the one with no windows and no fireplace." Ron jumped as Snape kicked a cupboard at the side of the room. "Since when did a greasy git like him get girls chasing after him?" Ron hissed as Harry as the pair watched Snape continue to demolish the room in a bout of uncharacteristic lack of control. Harry just shrugged and scratched his head in thought.
"What if we set Peeves on them?" Snape paused in his destruction and looked at them for a moment. He then shook his head and sneered. "They'd probably scare him more." He then returned to the various acts of vandalism he was committing.
Harry sat back against the wall and sighed as he heard the search for them continue out side the room. "You know, I kinda feel like joining him."
Fifteen minuets later they were still there, minus several pieces of furniture. Suddenly Snape stopped his rampage and look at the door, obviously deep in thought. Ron sat up. "Hey Harry, I think the old bastards had an epiphany."
Harry looked at him. "Either that or he's trying to decide whish of us he's going to kill first." Then Snape strode over to the cupboard we mentioned earlier. He flung open the doors and out stepped a Death Eater, covered in blood and pointing a wand straight at his chest. The boys jumped to their feet but a second later it had been reduced to a few whisps of smoke and Snape closed the doors.
"Boggart." Muttered Harry.
"Well done Mr. Potter. I see your skills of deduction are still as acute as ever" Sneered Snape as he moved towards the door.
Ron looked puzzled. "Yeah it's a boggart. So what?"
Snape rolled his eyes in disgust. "That boggart, you two dunderheads, is going to be the solution to our en masse hormone ridden problem."
Snape took a bag that had been abandoned in the corner of the room and forced the boggart in side it. "Wait here." He ordered harshly. The boys watched through the crack in the door as Snape set the bag down in the middle of the corridor, opened it and then darted around the corner. They could hear laughing and a small group of the girls rounded the corner. Suddenly they were looking at them selves. Harry was forcibly reminded of their third year when he and Hermione went back in time to save Sirius. The boggart had become all three of them. The group stopped in front of the boggart not quite sure what was going on. The boggart Snape stepped forward and addressed the girl at the front of the group. She had pink hair pulled in to a loose bun and clutched a poster of Snape to her chest. A red headed girl clutched her arm, wearing a "Mrs. Harry Potter" t-shirt. The boggart Snape looked kindly down on the small group.
Now that just doesn't look right.thought Harry.
"Now girls," The boggart Snape said gently. "I hate to tell you this, but we're all actors. None of this is real." The girls began to shake their heads but the boggart continued. "I'm Alan Rickman, this is Rupert Grint and Daniel Radcliffe. Now, how about some tea, and we'll sort all this out."
"I've never heard anyone scream like that in my life." Ron looked pale and took the chocolate frog offered by a still giggling Hermione.
Harry nodded. "And what was that she was shouting about wanting the old mean Snape back?" (Yes we do love our snarky Sev, don't we?) Hermione glanced over to the window where three owls were scrambling to get in.
She smiled "Looks like the fan mail's in for today boys." The pair groaned as she opened the windows, letting the owls in. Substantial piled of letters were dumped in front of the boys but the third owl delivered a small stack of letters to Hermione. She opened the first one and blanched. "Oh no!" Harry grinned at her as he glanced at the letter.
"We warned you 'Mione, there are such things as fan-boys."
End
Chaimera: Ashamed as I am, yes I did write my self and my best friend into this fic.
Kaz: Oh the horror!!
C.C: That's pretty low.
Chaimera: Oh be quiet before I sit on your head.
Kaz: Hmmph, wouldn't be the first time.
Chaimera: Anyway, I'm the one with pink hair, which I actually have this week, and yes my best friend really does want to marry Harry.
Rayne: Yes, but she a freak.
Chaimera: Zip it you over sized glow worm. Any way, I need more mob people, cause I think I'm gonna do one more.
Kaz: That means REVIEW people.
Ciao