A/N: I planned to post this today, but then I remembered that I had to
stay at school til like nine for a band performance. Therefore, I'm typing
this up during my spare, and therefore this chapter will be very very
short. But it's better than nothing, right? Right?!?! Okay. We've been
luckless with the link to my fanart. I've come up with a somewhat clever
solution---instructions are at the end of the chapter. Also, one more
matter of importance. I'm looking for a secretary. Anyone interested in
helping me manage my fanfiction affairs? Your duties will include (but not
be limited to) reminding me to update, finding me other archives on the Net
where I can post this, spreading the word about this fic, et cetera et
cetera. In return, you'll get the honour of working with me (ha!) and all
sorts of spiffy tidbits like sneak previews. Anyone who's interested can e-
mail me at masterchallenge@hotmail.com (if that didn't show up, look for my
e-mail address on my profile) and put "secretary" or something equally
obvious as the subject, so that I won't delete it as junkmail.
Disclaimers: Don't own, don't sue.
Chapter 26: Leaving the Woods ~ ~ ~
For the next few days, we began each morning with the same routine.
"Can we leave yet?" Frodo would ask, throwing in the teary sad-eyes for good measure.
"No, it would not be hospitable yet," Aragorn, or sometimes Legolas, would reply.
And then I'd plead with a slightly deranged and very desperate PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAASE!!!!!
And Aragorn would then say something mean, like "Ring! I didn't know you were capable of the word 'please'!"
Does that mean we can leave?
"No."
And on it went. Finally, just when we had given up all hopes of ever leaving the Woods of Lunacy and Boromir had sunken into a deep depression, Aragorn announced that it was time to leave.
Galadriel looked like she was about to cry with we broke the news to her. Ha, psycho bitch deserves it. Serves her right for all those nights I had metal-chilling nightmares about her. She took a deep breath and said "Yes, I suppose you must leave. For your task is tedious, your journey long and treacherous, your path steep and narrow, your resolve strong and valiant, your objective true and righteous, your duty firm and---"
I tuned her out. It was the same old speech, nothing we haven't heard before. When she finally finished, Sam and Gimli were asleep on their feet, Boromir looked like he wanted to cry, and Merry and Pippin were literally vibrating in place. "Are you finished, my Lady?" Legolas asked hopefully.
"Yes," she said with a sniffle. She dabbed at her eyes with a lacey handkerchief. "But I shall see you off on your way. And you shall not leave until I bestow upon you some gifts!"
Oh no. We are not accepting gifts from you. Nothing from the demented toy box of an immortal headcase who wants to kill me, thankyouverymuch.
Aragorn shot me a hard glare. "We will be honoured," he told her. "We plan to leave late this morning, when we have packed our belongings."
"Very well." She disappeared off into the woods, in a flurry of silken robes and blonde hair.
Quick! Let's sneak off while she's not looking!
They all ignored me, of course. Instead of doing the wiser thing and running away, we cleaned up camp instead. We packed up our stuff, then stood near the big river that marked the exit from the Woods. And why were we just standing there, instead of *leaving*? Why, it's because Legolas and Aragorn think it's rude to refuse gifts. Maybe we're really really gracious and totally not-greedy, and therefore we don't accept gifts, hmm?
"Ring, just---Frodo, please tuck him into your shirt," Aragorn said with a sigh.
Frodo did.
Hey, I resent that!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
And that's all I have time for. Longer chapter next time, I promise. TBC, of course.
About my fanart. Yeah, ff.net has not fixed the URL problem, despite claiming to have done so. So here's what you do. I'm gonna chop up the URL into little bits, and put the bits into brackets. You copy what's in the brackets into your address bar. Do NOT copy the brackets, only what's *in* them, okay? And tell me what you think of the picture. Oh, and for the record, "Matchsticks" is one of my many other pennames---I'm not trying to take credit for others' work. Alright, here goes, for the third time. (http://) (fanart/) (pictures.php?) (pid=47127) There. Hope it works.
Disclaimers: Don't own, don't sue.
Chapter 26: Leaving the Woods ~ ~ ~
For the next few days, we began each morning with the same routine.
"Can we leave yet?" Frodo would ask, throwing in the teary sad-eyes for good measure.
"No, it would not be hospitable yet," Aragorn, or sometimes Legolas, would reply.
And then I'd plead with a slightly deranged and very desperate PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAASE!!!!!
And Aragorn would then say something mean, like "Ring! I didn't know you were capable of the word 'please'!"
Does that mean we can leave?
"No."
And on it went. Finally, just when we had given up all hopes of ever leaving the Woods of Lunacy and Boromir had sunken into a deep depression, Aragorn announced that it was time to leave.
Galadriel looked like she was about to cry with we broke the news to her. Ha, psycho bitch deserves it. Serves her right for all those nights I had metal-chilling nightmares about her. She took a deep breath and said "Yes, I suppose you must leave. For your task is tedious, your journey long and treacherous, your path steep and narrow, your resolve strong and valiant, your objective true and righteous, your duty firm and---"
I tuned her out. It was the same old speech, nothing we haven't heard before. When she finally finished, Sam and Gimli were asleep on their feet, Boromir looked like he wanted to cry, and Merry and Pippin were literally vibrating in place. "Are you finished, my Lady?" Legolas asked hopefully.
"Yes," she said with a sniffle. She dabbed at her eyes with a lacey handkerchief. "But I shall see you off on your way. And you shall not leave until I bestow upon you some gifts!"
Oh no. We are not accepting gifts from you. Nothing from the demented toy box of an immortal headcase who wants to kill me, thankyouverymuch.
Aragorn shot me a hard glare. "We will be honoured," he told her. "We plan to leave late this morning, when we have packed our belongings."
"Very well." She disappeared off into the woods, in a flurry of silken robes and blonde hair.
Quick! Let's sneak off while she's not looking!
They all ignored me, of course. Instead of doing the wiser thing and running away, we cleaned up camp instead. We packed up our stuff, then stood near the big river that marked the exit from the Woods. And why were we just standing there, instead of *leaving*? Why, it's because Legolas and Aragorn think it's rude to refuse gifts. Maybe we're really really gracious and totally not-greedy, and therefore we don't accept gifts, hmm?
"Ring, just---Frodo, please tuck him into your shirt," Aragorn said with a sigh.
Frodo did.
Hey, I resent that!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
And that's all I have time for. Longer chapter next time, I promise. TBC, of course.
About my fanart. Yeah, ff.net has not fixed the URL problem, despite claiming to have done so. So here's what you do. I'm gonna chop up the URL into little bits, and put the bits into brackets. You copy what's in the brackets into your address bar. Do NOT copy the brackets, only what's *in* them, okay? And tell me what you think of the picture. Oh, and for the record, "Matchsticks" is one of my many other pennames---I'm not trying to take credit for others' work. Alright, here goes, for the third time. (http://) (fanart/) (pictures.php?) (pid=47127) There. Hope it works.