A/N: Hello, ladies and gentlemen. How're you all doing? Sitting
comfortably? Good. Because I want your full attention as I explain
exactly what will happen to the future of this series. First of all, for
those who were worried, yes, I do plan on doing the entire trilogy. (You
will, of course, all be expected to stick with me for the entire ride.)
However, I don't plan to do the whole thing all as one fic. I still want
to try and lure in new readers, and no one's gonna start reading a fic
that's like 57 chapters long. Therefore, I'll split them up into three
fics. When book/movie #1 is done (which should be in one more chapter,
excluding this one), I'll take a short little 2-3 week hiatus---ah, who am
I kidding; I take three weeks to update all the time, you won't notice the
hiatus at all. And then, I'll be back with the second book/movie as a
whole new fic. So for those of you who have this story in their favourites
and only check for updates there, remember that the next book will be put
up as a different fic. I'll try and tell you exactly when I plan to put
it up, so you can all watch for it.
Also, Chaosti had a very good question regarding the name of the Ring. Why Alfonso? Honestly, I just flipped open a baby names book at the local bookstore and picked the first funny-sounding name I saw. I wanted a name that didn't sound too serious, and was a little unbelievable, so that the immediate reaction would be "The One Ring to Rule Them All is called what?!?!" Plus, I've grown to like the Italian flavour of it. And the short form, Al, is kinda cute.
Disclaimers: What's Tolkein gonna do, bitch at me from beyond the grave?
Chapter 29: In the Woods Next to the River
"Ring," Frodo gasped out as he ran, "there's one thing I have to ask you."
Yes, dearest comrade? Ask and I shall answer, because there are no secrets between allies. Everything that I know is at your beck and call, for you are my friend, and I am yours.
"Okay, first of all, you're pouring it on rather thick. Secondly, why is it that I can see Sauron?"
Say what???!
"Sauron. I can see him in my mind's eye whenever I put you on."
Oh, yeah. That. Okay, I have one more secret power to tell you. But after this, that's it. I have no more special powers---you'll know all of them. The last of my powers will be revealed, and you will know everything that there is to know about me. I'll no longer have an advantage. I'll have no more hidden surprises up my sleeve. Once I reveal it, you will know my magical properties in their entirety. I'll have---
"Are you planning on actually telling me, at some point?" Frodo inquired politely.
Hey, can't you see that it's a little difficult for me? I'm working up to it.
There was an awkward pause.
"Will you tell me now?"
Okay. Here it goes. I...have the Palantir-like power to see people, no matter where they are. I can check up on people whenever I feel like it. And not just see them, either; I can hear them, I can see where they are and what they're doing, who they're with...and if I concentrate hard enough, I can talk to them, too. They can hear me. Even if I'm miles away. That's my last hidden power.
"Huh." Frodo had stopped running. We were further into the forest, now, atop some old stone edifices, overgrown with vines and moss. He slipped me off his finger. "So why is it that I can see Sauron too?"
Only when you put me on. I suppose it's like the Palantir thing, again. You can sort of see others through using me, I guess.
"Can I---"
No, you canNOT use me to spy on others while they're undressing. Like, if you still have the hots for Aragorn, there's no way in hell I'm spying on him for you. I don't ever want to have to see him naked---ever. Do you understand me, Frodo Baggins? No using Alfonso for voyeuristic purposes.
Frodo scoffed and looked offended. "That is so not what I was about to ask! Keep your mental excursions to the gutter to yourself, Ring."
Before I could think of a snappy comeback to that, Aragorn appeared. Speak of the devil.
"Frodo!" he cried, sounding mightily relieved. "The Company has been very worried. You shouldn't wander around by yourself! It's not safe to be alone."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Frodo sighed wearily. "I already got that speech from Boromir, thanks. Oh, speaking of Boromir, he's lost it. Gone insane. He went after us with a decidedly abnormal manner just ten minutes ago."
"Us? Oh, you mean you and the Ring. Yes, Frodo, I understand. The power of the Ring has finally overcome his mind."
"Um," Frodo began hesitantly. "There is something we must discuss."
Aragorn looked at him inquisitively.
"I have been thinking about this, long and hard, and I have decided that I should perhaps make the rest of this journey on my own."
What?!?!?! No, you really shouldn't! The only thing that's been keeping us alive is the fact that all the scary monsters take one look at Gimli's face and run away!!! That, and Legolas's arrows. And, okay, Strider's big sword may have something to do with it, too. But the point is, we'll never make it through alive if we go alone!!!
Aragorn looked puzzled. "Ring, I hate to be cruel, but you're not going to make it through alive regardless. The whole point of the journey is to cast you into the fires of Mount Doom."
Fuck you, Ranger. Frodo, tell him.
"Yes. About that. Aragorn, I have also thought long and hard about another matter, and I have come to the conclusion that the Ring does not possess any threatening powers. The Ring is not evil."
TBC
ps- Yes, Aragorn's reaction will have to wait another day, because I really have to go now. But stay tuned for the next chapter...to celebrate the fact that it will be the VERY LAST CHAPTER of the first volume, it well be extra- extra-extra long!
Also, Chaosti had a very good question regarding the name of the Ring. Why Alfonso? Honestly, I just flipped open a baby names book at the local bookstore and picked the first funny-sounding name I saw. I wanted a name that didn't sound too serious, and was a little unbelievable, so that the immediate reaction would be "The One Ring to Rule Them All is called what?!?!" Plus, I've grown to like the Italian flavour of it. And the short form, Al, is kinda cute.
Disclaimers: What's Tolkein gonna do, bitch at me from beyond the grave?
Chapter 29: In the Woods Next to the River
"Ring," Frodo gasped out as he ran, "there's one thing I have to ask you."
Yes, dearest comrade? Ask and I shall answer, because there are no secrets between allies. Everything that I know is at your beck and call, for you are my friend, and I am yours.
"Okay, first of all, you're pouring it on rather thick. Secondly, why is it that I can see Sauron?"
Say what???!
"Sauron. I can see him in my mind's eye whenever I put you on."
Oh, yeah. That. Okay, I have one more secret power to tell you. But after this, that's it. I have no more special powers---you'll know all of them. The last of my powers will be revealed, and you will know everything that there is to know about me. I'll no longer have an advantage. I'll have no more hidden surprises up my sleeve. Once I reveal it, you will know my magical properties in their entirety. I'll have---
"Are you planning on actually telling me, at some point?" Frodo inquired politely.
Hey, can't you see that it's a little difficult for me? I'm working up to it.
There was an awkward pause.
"Will you tell me now?"
Okay. Here it goes. I...have the Palantir-like power to see people, no matter where they are. I can check up on people whenever I feel like it. And not just see them, either; I can hear them, I can see where they are and what they're doing, who they're with...and if I concentrate hard enough, I can talk to them, too. They can hear me. Even if I'm miles away. That's my last hidden power.
"Huh." Frodo had stopped running. We were further into the forest, now, atop some old stone edifices, overgrown with vines and moss. He slipped me off his finger. "So why is it that I can see Sauron too?"
Only when you put me on. I suppose it's like the Palantir thing, again. You can sort of see others through using me, I guess.
"Can I---"
No, you canNOT use me to spy on others while they're undressing. Like, if you still have the hots for Aragorn, there's no way in hell I'm spying on him for you. I don't ever want to have to see him naked---ever. Do you understand me, Frodo Baggins? No using Alfonso for voyeuristic purposes.
Frodo scoffed and looked offended. "That is so not what I was about to ask! Keep your mental excursions to the gutter to yourself, Ring."
Before I could think of a snappy comeback to that, Aragorn appeared. Speak of the devil.
"Frodo!" he cried, sounding mightily relieved. "The Company has been very worried. You shouldn't wander around by yourself! It's not safe to be alone."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Frodo sighed wearily. "I already got that speech from Boromir, thanks. Oh, speaking of Boromir, he's lost it. Gone insane. He went after us with a decidedly abnormal manner just ten minutes ago."
"Us? Oh, you mean you and the Ring. Yes, Frodo, I understand. The power of the Ring has finally overcome his mind."
"Um," Frodo began hesitantly. "There is something we must discuss."
Aragorn looked at him inquisitively.
"I have been thinking about this, long and hard, and I have decided that I should perhaps make the rest of this journey on my own."
What?!?!?! No, you really shouldn't! The only thing that's been keeping us alive is the fact that all the scary monsters take one look at Gimli's face and run away!!! That, and Legolas's arrows. And, okay, Strider's big sword may have something to do with it, too. But the point is, we'll never make it through alive if we go alone!!!
Aragorn looked puzzled. "Ring, I hate to be cruel, but you're not going to make it through alive regardless. The whole point of the journey is to cast you into the fires of Mount Doom."
Fuck you, Ranger. Frodo, tell him.
"Yes. About that. Aragorn, I have also thought long and hard about another matter, and I have come to the conclusion that the Ring does not possess any threatening powers. The Ring is not evil."
TBC
ps- Yes, Aragorn's reaction will have to wait another day, because I really have to go now. But stay tuned for the next chapter...to celebrate the fact that it will be the VERY LAST CHAPTER of the first volume, it well be extra- extra-extra long!