All these characters belong to their respective owners. The story, however, is ... well, okay, it's not exactly mine, either, but it's better than the movie, I'm sure. ;)
TOKYO
Chapter 1
A New Arrival
Latex and leather. Dark glasses, too, even though it was nighttime. And shoulders and arms bared, in a sharp contrast to her outfit; her red hair in a long braid seemed to be striking a balance between the two. That seemed to be the outfit of choice for her.
Or at least, someone's outfit of choice for her.
She was crouched at the side of a bridge, looking over the edge onto the street below. It was empty, at this time of night, but she could see someone putting up a "wanted" poster.
"When I get back," she said in a low voice into her cell phone (which was black), "I am going to take a nice, hot shower. This outfit really makes me feel dirty."
"Okay, fine," said the voice on the other end. "But this was the best way, wasn't it? I mean, to get his attention ..."
"You mean a sexy girl?" she said bluntly.
"Well ... You do seem to be the most desirable of your gender, whether you're --"
"Thanks," she said sarcastically. "Okay, so what kind of timing will I need?"
"Just follow the gunshots," said the phone, "and get him outta there like a bat outta hell."
The girl nodded, closed it up, and put it in her pocket, before standing up.
The worker finished putting up the "wanted" sign and squinted. "Now that is one frickin' huge reward."
"Yeah," said his partner, with a shrug. "I suppose there's no chance of getting what this guy looks like?"
"Dunno," said the first worker. "I guess we'd just follow the gunshots, and the sounds of the city getting smashed."
The other man chuckled. "Yeah ... well, c'mon, we still have to put these signs up near Lower Southern before it gets too light ..." He glanced to the southeast; neither of them noticed as the girl silently snuck by behind them. She glanced at the signs they'd put up, and her eyes widened. The reward was sixty billion --!?
Of course, she had to concentrate and get to the end of the walk, sneak around the entrance wall, and then get across the street, halfway down a block, and duck into an alleyway without anyone catching her. Pretty simple ...
She was almost at the alleyway before she heart the shout and footsteps. Oh, great. So much for getting there unnoticed ... the best she could hope for was cover.
And then the gunshots started. Hmm ... they didn't seem to be aimed at her. Well, that could be good or bad, depending on who they were aimed at. And then she heard a scream: it was high-pitched, but with an unidentifiable masculinity to it. The voice then added, "Don't hurt me! I didn't do anything to you! Why's everyone so mean to me!?"
She narrowed her eyes. Yep, that was who she was after.
A blur of red appeared at the end of the alleyway, and she immediately grabbed it and pulled in in. The red seemed to be a skinny red trenchcoat, with a blonde spiky head on top of it, with wide, panic-filled eyes in the front. "Gah!" said the head. "Who are you!?"
"I'm here to save you from the bounty hunters," said the girl. "My name's Ranma."
The eyes focused on her, and then the trenchcoat snapped to attention. "Most pleased to meet you!" he exclaimed, kneeling in front of her and taking her hand, giving it a kiss. "And I, as you know, am --"
"Vash the Stampede, right," said Ranma. She noticed that his right arm seemed to have black metal in it. "Now c'mon, we've gotta move fast." She looked at the back end of the alleyway. Looked like there was only one door.
"But of course!" said Vash. "Anything for a beautiful young --"
"Spare me," said Ranma. Someone outside shouted that he'd gone down an alleyway, and the footsteps got nearer. She jumped into the air, and knocked the door down with a single kick.
"Aheh ... you must get that kind of thing a lot, huh?" said Vash, as the two of them darted into the building.
"Like you wouldn't believe," said Ranma, looking around. They were in a basement, filled with various clutter. "But don't expect me to respond."
"Awww ..." Vash seemed genuinely disappointed.
Ranma scowled. "And don't give me that," she said, running towards the stairs. "Anyone who's survived as long as you have with a SIXTY BILLION DOLLAR PRICE on his head has GOT to have either phenomenal intelligence and skill, or unbelieveable dumb luck."
"Ummm ..." Vash paused at the bottom, looking up she hurried up the stairs and trying not to get a nosebleed. "Would you believe a little of both?"
"Yeah, right," said Ranma, pulling open the door at the top of the stairs ...
... and revealing a group of five men dressed in black outfits, each with a large red letter R on their chest. And all of them were looking past her at Vash.
"We've got 'im now!" said one of them.
"And I don't matter?" said Ranma sweetly.
Another one sniggered. "Step aside, little girl, if ya don't want to get hurt!" he said, shoving her aside, intending to knock her to the ground.
Ranma landed on her feet, and then ran towards them. She delivered a flying kick to the first speaker of them, knocking him into another, karate chopped two others in the head, and spun around to face the second speaker as she landed. She jumped into the air -- and this is where, if this was a movie, it would have a "bullet-time rotation" effect around them -- and then kicked the man in the chest, knocking him into the far wall.
"You do NOT call me 'little girl,'" she said.
"That was COOL!" said Vash.
"Just c'mon," said Ranma.
They ran through the night, pursued by gunfire at nearly every turn. "Great," said Ranma. "At this rate we'll never get there unnoticed."
"Oh ... you don't want them to see us get somewhere?"
Ranma shrugged, looking out of an alleyway and then ducking back at the sound of a gunshot. Let's see, they were in Lower Southwest ... "Well, I'll settle for just getting down a subway without them catching us, but ..."
"Okay then!" said Vash, pulling out a silver gun that Ranma hadn't noticed before. "MWAHAHAHAHAHA, I AM VASH THE STAMPEDE! FEAR MY WRATH!" He fired a shot into the air. The gunshots began to sound more panicked, and seemed to be starting to retreat. "Get out of here! I am wanted for the destruction of several towns! You do not want me to start with you!"
Despite herself, Ranma was impressed. It hadn't occurred to her to use a reputation for massive destruction as an advantage. Maybe she was too good-natured.
"Be off with ye, or I shall knock you all down!" exclaimed Vash, firing off another shot into the air as peoples backs became more visible than their guns. "I shall steal all your girlfriends and (hey Ranma, got a subway yet?) knock down your buildings! No, wait ... I will knock down your buildings and knock up --"
"Come ON!" said Ranma, almost pulling him down the stairs.
The subway station was closed, but they weren't here to catch a train. "This way," said Ranma, then winced as her voice echoed.
"Ooh, so this is a subway!" said Vash. "I thought it was one of those restaurants that --"
"Um, no, it's also the name of a type of sandwich," said Ranma. "C'mon ... I know my way around these tracks. We'll be safe pretty soon."
"Safe?" said Vash. "You mean ... without me having to save a town?"
Ranma jumped off the platform. "Aren't you known for destroying a bunch of towns?" she asked as she started running down the tunnel.
There was a sound like heavy cloth folding up behind her. "Oof ... It wasn't my fault! Things just happen around me ..."
"I see," said Ranma, taking a left at a fork in the tracks. "So, bad luck it is then, hmm?"
"Ayup!"
They continued on in silence. After a few turns, Vash said, "Ranma?"
"Yeah?"
"Are we there yet?"
"Almost," said Ranma, in a tone of voice that conveyed that she was trying to be patient with him.
"Oh," said Vash. "Why are we walking?"
"Because just about any kind of vehicle is easier to track down than two or three people on foot," said Ranma. "Makes too much noise, for one thing. Besides," she added with a smirk, "I'm much smaller and more maneuverable, wouldn't you say?"
Vash considered this. "Yep, you got that right."
"C'mon," said Ranma, turning around a bend to a section of tracks that seemed as though they hadn't had any maintenance in the past, oh, century.
"What's this?" said Vash.
"Abandoned subway," said Ranma. "We're reasonably safe from running into anyone. Or at least," she added, "anyone on the wrong side. Anyone we do meet will ..." She considered this. "... understand."
"Will they understand about me?" said Vash apprehensively.
Ranma paused; there a light up ahead. Definitely the right way. "Hmm, point. But I'm sure we could handle the ones who don't with no trouble."
"Yeah, I mean, cuz, the price on my head is pretty big ... Hey, wow!"
They arrived at an abandoned subway station. It had obviously gone unused at least as long as the tracks had.
"Wow," said Vash again. "This is cool!"
"Our destination is just up the stairs from here," said Ranma. "Then you'll get some explanations ..."
"Explanations?" said Vash.
Ranma had to remind herself that she was dealing with someeone who appeared to be, on the face of it, an idiot. "What, you aren't wondering why you've suddenly appeared in this strange city with no warning?"
"Nope!" said Vash cheerfully.
Ranma sighed. "Let's just go."
When they went up the stairs, they found themselves in a row of buildings that seemed to be less urban than the section they were in before. "Here we go," said Ranma. "The place is over there ..." She pointed at a quaint looking shop with a sign that said ARS MAGICA, and then approached.
"Ooh, is that one of those mysterious magic shops that always disappears the next day?" asked Vash enthusiastically.
"No," said Ranma, heading towards the back of the building. "Well ... one out of three ain't bad, anyway ..."
"Actually, it's only thirty-three percent," pointed out Vash.
Ranma blinked. "Vash, have you ever read a book called Soul Music by Terry Pratchett?"
"Nope!" said Vash. "What's up with all these questions?"
"Just a thought," said Ranma. She knocked on the back door.
A small, rectangular section of the door faded away, revealing a pair of eyes. Then the door itself opened, revealing a tall, blonde-haired man wearing a long grey trenchcoat. "Ah, you got 'im," he said. Behind him was what looked like a storeroom.
"Right," said Ranma. "You take 'im to see Zel." She left the room.
"Zel?" said Vash.
"Our de facto boss," said the man. "I'm Seifer Almasy, by the way ... and you must be Vash the Stampede."
"Ayup!" said Vash.
"Okay," said Seifer. "C'mon with me. He's upstairs doing some alchemical work." He turned to go through another door; Vash saw that, strapped to his back, was what looked like a large shotgun. Or at least, it had the handle of a shotgun, anyway.
Vash blinked with that particular kind of confusion found in people who have trouble with big words. "Alchemical ...?" he said.
"Yeah, really," said Seifer. They entered a short hallway with stairs leading up on one side. At the end, Vash saw what looked like the inside of the store. "There's all kinds of crazy crap goin' on in this city ..."
"And do you guys do some of it?" asked Vash, hurrying up the stairs after him.
"Well ... a little," said Seifer, pausing at the top. "Hey, Zel, Ranma got 'im!"
The room was large and spacious. It seemed to be some sort of residence, but it was the residence of someone who didn't merely dabble in the occult but was, in fact, a part of it. Astrological charts covered one wall, posters with mystical symbols and incomprehensible diagrams were on another. There were tables with chemical apparati that had apparently been made by a glassblower who had been having a coughing fit, and various multicolored liquids; there were shelves of what it's probably best to merely refer to as "spell components."
In the middle of the room, sitting inside a circle of symbols and candles, was a man wearing white, hooded robes. His face was hidden in shadow, but there was something odd about it. When he spoke, his voice was soft, and almost pleasant. He said, "Yes, I know. I'd been scrying to see the result of the mission; it always pays to know the winner in advance."
He stood up and pulled back his hood; his skin seemed to be made of blue rock, and his hair wasn't much better. He smiled as he stepped out of the circle, and said, "Welcome, Vash the Stampede. My name is Zelgadis."