Origins Author's note: Yay, more BB/Rae-ness in this chapter. Enjoy. (I am very sorry if people seem out of character in this chapter...)

Disclaimer: I own nothing

Chapter 5 – The Blame Game

"We must find our friend, and straighten out this terribleness" Starfire said.
"But Star, the weather is too bad. If we were to try and find him now, it'd be suicide." Robin reasoned. "We can't do anything until the weather clears."
"I'm with Starfire." Raven said standing up. "We can't sit around while Beast Boy is out there. What if he needs our help?"
Though he was slightly surprised that Raven was taking up for someone, Robin still stood by his decision. "No, we stay put. I can't let one of you go out there. You could get hurt."
"So could Beast Boy. I'm going whether you want me to or not. I'm not leaving him out there." Raven said starting toward the door. Robin stood between her and the exit. "Move out of my way Robin."
"No."
"I don't want to hurt you, but I will if I have to." Raven said, getting into fighting stance.
"No, Robin's right, you shouldn't go out there. What good will it do if you and Beast Boy both get hurt?" Cyborg said as he moved to stand next to Robin. Raven loosen her fighting stance a little. She was surprised that the others weren't willing to go look for their friend.
"They are right Raven. We can do nothing until the rain stops." Starfire agreed. Raven looked from Starfire's face, to Robin's, to Cyborg's. For a moment, it looked like she was willing to fight them to go find Beast Boy, but then she stood up straight and said, "Fine. I'll be in my room until the weather clears."
Robin was a little confused, it wasn't like Raven to back down so easily, 'At least she agree to stay here' he thought to himself.
Raven left the rest of the titans and began walking down the hall, not toward her room, but toward the roof. 'He's got to be kidding me. Did he really think I was just going to give up like that?' No one was following her, so she assumed they must have believed her. 'Once on the roof, I'll look for Beast Boy from the air. Most likely he's still trying to fly, though I hope he's found somewhere safe to wait out the storm. I should get a flashlight before I head up.' She altered her direction, and headed toward her room to retrieve her flashlight. While passing Beast Boy's room, on the way to her room, something made her stop. There it was again, a small thump. Something was in Beast Boy's room. Slowly, she reached for the handle. It was cold against her skin. Quickly she turned the knob, and opened the door, hoping to take the creature by surprise. The surprise was on her, because the only thing in Beast Boy's room was Beast Boy.
He was sitting on his bed, bouncing a ball against the opposite wall. "Beast Boy?! What are you doing here? You're supposed to be outside in the rain. When did you come back?!" Raven said, completely confused.
"I've been back for the past hour. I tried to fly, but the rain was too hard. I was going to swim, but the waves were too rough, so I just came back. I had no where else to go." Beast Boy replied, not looking at her, and never missing a beat while bouncing the ball.
"But how? How did you get back in without us seeing you?"
"I just landed on the roof and walked back to my room. It was easy while you guys were mesmerized by the traitor." Beast Boy replied, adding a little edge to the last comment.
"Great minds think alike I guess. I was about to do the same thing to go look for you." Raven said, sitting down next to him on the bed.
"Why would you go look for me? Its not like any of you care. You'd all rather listen to the story of a turncoat." Beast Boy said, his anger flaring.
"I care. We all do. Just because we'd rather find out the facts before we "86" someone doesn't mean we don't care about you." Raven said, trying to be patient. Beast Boy stopped bouncing the ball and looked Raven in the eyes. "Are you sure you know the whole story? Cause I don't think you do. Did she tell you how she let those-those criminals take me away with as little as an 'I'll miss you'? Did she tell you how she broke her promise? She betrayed me. She let those guys just take me. I told her that I didn't have to go with them. I told her that I'd just turn into a cheetah, or an elephant, and live in the jungle. She told me that I should go with those people. She told me that 'It was better that way'. When I tried to run away into the jungle...she told them where to find me. She betrayed me Rae, and I can't forgive her for breaking her promise. She promised she wouldn't tell them, and she did anyway. I can't forgive her."
"Did you think that maybe she thought she was doing the right thing? Did you ever think that maybe she was trying to protect you? Did you think that maybe she was trying to help you?"
"Help me? Like she was there to help me when my parents died? She wasn't there for me Raven. I needed her there when they drowned, and where was she? If she would have been there, she could have helped me pull my dad out of the water. If she would have been there, my parents wouldn't have died, and I wouldn't have been taken away. But she wasn't there, was she?"
"So that's what this is all about? Your parents? If she had been there, then you, Zanta, and your parents would have died. If she had been there, you wouldn't be here today. I don't think it's her you blame for your parents' death. I...I think you blame yourself." Raven said. Beast Boy was stunned into silence. He had nothing to say to disprove that. He did blame himself. "You can't blame yourself anymore than you can blame Zanta. It was an accident." Raven said, trying to comfort him.
"No, you don't understand. If I'd known more about my powers, they'd still be here...it's my fault."
"No-" She started
"I promised!" Beast Boy said, interrupting her. "When my powers first came out, I saved my mom from a Black Mamba snake by turning into a mongoose. She was so proud of me. I promised her that I'd never let anything hurt her; I promised her that I'd protect her and my father, and that day at the river, I let them down. I broke my promise. You know, my father used to say that if you can stand by anything, it's a promise. A promise is a promise, and its something that should never be broken. I broke my promise, and they died. Its my fault." His brooding and sorry attitude was beginning to get on Ravens nerves. She was beginning to miss the old Beast Boy.
"Beast Boy, you can't blame yourself for everything that goes wrong. People make mistakes, even you and me. You were 8 years old, and you tried to take on the world. It was an accident, something that you couldn't prevent. You can't blame yourself for every little thing that goes wrong. Yes, you broke a promise, but you didn't mean to. The important part is that you tried to save your parents, and that is more important than any promise you could have made." Raven said
"I know, but-"
"No 'but's. What if I made you promise that I'd never die?"
"Well that's silly Rae. I can't promise you'll never die because eventually everyone does." Beast Boy said
"Exactly. You promised that you'd protect them, and while they were alive, you kept that promise. But now, its time to let go. You did what you could when they were here. Do you really think they'd want you to spend the rest of your life blaming yourself for one broken promise?" Raven asked. Beast Boy looked at the girl next to him. Her words carried weight to them.
"You're right. They wouldn't want me to blame myself. They wouldn't want me to treating Zanta like this either." Beast Boy said, coming to terms with his ill treatment of his friend. Beast Boy took a breath, knowing he'd have to apologize to her, but for some reason, breathing was easier. It was like the world was lifted, and everything seemed lighter. Even apologizing didn't seem as horrible as it had a few moments ago. Beast Boy looked at the girl sitting next to him. She was the most unlikely canidate for a compassionate advice-giver, but she'd been given him what he needed to let go. "Thanks, Rae."