Chapter Nineteen
Desperately

Part One
Another two months passed. Rikku's belly grew ever rounder, and now villagers in Besaid were starting to talk. About the high summoner's young, unwed, and pregnant cousin. Rikku had always thought Besaid was a friendly place, but now it seemed cold and lonely. Everyone looked at her accusingly, as if she had done something wrong.

Wakka offered to tell the villagers that Rikku's husband had died, but she had told him not to. "I'm not going to lie to them," she said. "But I'm not going to tell the truth to a bunch of strangers who don't even care." Her green gaze had gone steely. "They don't deserve to know it."

Lulu felt bad for the young girl. The public scrutinized her fiercely. Some days, Lulu just wanted to hit them all with a powerful thunder spell – just to make them shut up.

It came as no surprise when Rikku announced over breakfast that she was leaving Besaid. "I received a letter from my father. He has begun the reconstruction of our Home. There is enough lodging there for me to stay, away from prying eyes and the like. And besides – I am seventeen now, and I am pregnant. This means that I must marry. Since the man I would choose is dead, my father must pick a husband for me. There's nothing I can do. I can't disgrace my family – or Auron's child – by remaining unwed. I cannot let this child suffer the humiliation of being branded 'bastard.'"

Yuna felt like crying. Rikku was just giving up! "Rikku, you can't just – get married to someone you don't even know!" she argued.

Rikku held her head high. "You were going to marry Seymour," she reminded her cousin.

"That was different," Yuna said, reddening at the thought. "I had to do that."

Rikku slammed her fork down. "And I have to do this! I cannot be alone forever, Yunie! I – I don't want to raise this child without some kind of father! And I cannot keep waiting on a man who is never coming back! It's been seven months Yuna. I have cried too many tears to count. Auron is gone. Nothing I do or say will bring him back to me – to us. No one will ever replace him, and I will never love anyone else – but this is my duty. It's the one thing I can do."

Yuna looked at her cousin sadly. When had she become so wise? Poor Rikku. Once, she had been a bubbly, vivacious teenager. Now, she was an old soul living in a young girl's body. She was with child, and because of that, she had to marry someone that she didn't even know.

"Do you know who your father has chosen?" Lulu asked her.

Rikku nodded. "Yes. A boy I knew when I was younger. His name is Gippal. He's nice enough. He'll be a good husband; he'll take care of the baby and I. That's all that is important." Rikku's exterior was so calm, so unmoving. But her swirling eyes betrayed her to the world.

She was terrified. She was desperate to cling to Auron until the day that she died. But she knew if she didn't marry Gippal, her father would disown her, her baby would be deemed "illegitimate" and she would be branded as a whore. She couldn't – wouldn't – bring that disgrace upon those she loved. She couldn't drag Yunie's name through the mud, which is what would happen if she stayed in Besaid.

Cid came for Rikku the very next day. His eyes darkened when he saw his daughter's pregnant form. "You're damn lucky Gippal agreed to marry you – pregnant and all. Not many men out there would have a woman carrying another man's child."

Rikku had promised herself that she wouldn't cry. "E's cunno," was all she said.

"I thought I had raised you better than to go off and do a fool thing like get yerself pregnant by a man who didn't even stick around!" Cid continued.

Rikku shook her head. "He didn't stick around because he died!" she screamed at him. "You knew Sir Auron. You liked him, respected him. Do you really think he'd run off and leave me? He loved me." She hissed the last part, and felt the tears stinging her eyes. Damn it . . .

Cid didn't know what else to say. He wasn't mad at his daughter. He felt bad for her, that she was in this situation. "Well, come on then. Let's get movin'! Gippal's waitin' at the site for ya!"

Rikku came to the decision, two weeks after arriving back in Bikanel, that it would have been better to be disgraced than to have to spend the rest of her life with this pompous, arrogant bastard that she was supposed to marry.

He was rude to her; he called her all kinds of terrible names. He hit on every other female in the vicinity, oftentimes right in front of Rikku. Not that she cared. She didn't like him in the least. Maybe, after the baby was born, she would send word to Yuna to come take the baby, and then she would end her miserable existence . . .

Every time she thought like that, she could almost hear Auron scolding her. So she just sucked it up and dealt with the menial task that her life had become.

Word was sent out to every Al Bhed in Spira – along with Rikku's friends – about the wedding, which was to take place in two weeks' time. Rikku thought it was ridiculous. She would be eight months along by then, and enormous! She wished they could've waited till after the birth, but she was told that was impossible. So she pretended that she was happy while she and some of the other Al Bhed ladies planned her nuptials.

But at night, she still prayed to the Higher Powers that they would send Auron back to her and save her from this hell.

Part Two
Luca. One more week and Auron would be in Besaid. He would see Lulu, and Wakka, and Yuna – and hopefully they would be able to tell him where Rikku was. The closer he got to Besaid, the more alive he felt. He couldn't wait to see her again. To tell her he loved her – and to ask her to marry him. He wasn't about to waste another minute. Nearly eight months had passed. He knew many things could be different, but not so different that he couldn't be with her. She had said "no matter what." He was going to hold her to that promise.

A/N: Please don't hate me guys! This is all very strategic! I just want everyone reading this to know that I really have nothing against Gippal -- it was just very convenient to use him in this way. TRUST ME this is all good! I told you how I hate things that are tidy and simple -- so don't hate me! I am in no way, shape, or form a Rikku/Gippal fan -- I'm Aurikku all the way! But I'm not trying to bash Gippal either, so those of you who are Gippal fans, I apologize. I promise that this is all for the good. I just love building up suspense and all the drama is much fun! lol So please review, and be kind, knowing that this will all wrap up beautifully in the end. Until next chappie, Rhianna :)