November arrived with windy weather conditions and the Quidditch matches
were postponed until a later date, when conditions weren't so hazardous.
James spent much of his time moping around the Gryffindor common room, with
Lily at his side trying to console him.
"Don't worry; I'm sure the weather will lighten up soon. Besides, it's only a game."
Sirius looked up sharply from his game of wizard's chess with Remus. "Just a game?" he asked. "Quidditch is just a game?" He shook his head ruefully. "Muggle-borns," he scoffed, causing Lily to stick her tongue out at him.
Snow began to fall towards the middle of November and everyone began discussing their plans for the Christmas holidays. Lily was going home to her parents' house where she claimed her evil sister lived. Sirius often requested to meet this sister and Lily granted his request by offering to bring him home with her for the holidays. It seemed as though it were a peace offering and before long, Lily had also invited James, Remus, Peter and Kat.
Peter was the only one who declined. "My parents want me home this vacation," he said in his squeaky little voice. Sirius chose to ignore this comment and sat back on the chair in front of the fireplace, his arm around Kat's shoulders.
"Wimp," he said under his breath. If Peter heard, he didn't say anything. Sirius grinned at his accomplishment of insulting someone and getting away with it and he snuggled even closer to Kat's side. Remus hadn't gotten up the courage to ask Sirius was exactly was going on between him and Kat. It was obvious that they were close but how close, Remus wasn't sure he wanted to know.
He got the chance to talk to Kat, however, shortly before Christmas vacation started. She was walking toward the library, her arms full of books, and Remus hurried to help her out. "Thanks," she said, smiling gratefully as he held the library door open for her. She dumped the books on the nearest table and turned to face him. "So you're going to the Evans' for Christmas, are you?"
He nodded. "Yeah. Are you?"
She stared at him for a moment. "Yeah, I am." She sighed heavily. "I don't know what Lily would do without me. Possibly fade into non- existence." Kat smiled to herself and pulled out a chair. "Have a seat," she said, waving her wand at the nearest chair. It pulled itself out from underneath the table and Remus sat down slowly. The full moon had just passed and he was feeling the aftermath of his transformation. Everything ached, down to the pockets on his robes, but he tried not to show it.
"Excited for the holidays?" she asked, scrutinizing him as though she could see past his façade to his pain.
"Of course." He nodded his head. "It's nice that we'll all be together this year. Usually Sirius stays at school but James goes home, as does Peter. James invited us every year but Sirius and I always stayed at Hogwarts."
"Why are you going now?" Kat began opening her books and scattering them across the table so she had a good view of the inside pages of each. Flipping through the pages of the nearest one, she opened her notebook and began taking notes on how to make a Calming Draught.
Remus shrugged, unable to admit the fact that he just wanted to get to know Kat better. "Something different," he answered, turning his head away but feeling her continued gaze on him.
"Why don't you go to your home for Christmas, Remus?"
Something about the way she said his name sent a thrill down his spine. He actually shuddered at the flow of emotions and struggled to keep his mind steady. "My parents have been a little...peaky these past few years," he said truthfully. "Things are different in my house, changed, and I guess I remind them of those differences. It's not that they don't want to see me," he added hurriedly, seeing the look of panic on Kat's pretty face. "It's just there's so much going on that I'm not even going to begin to explain it and I'll stop rambling now." He smiled sheepishly and Kat smiled in return.
"I don't mind listening," she encouraged him. "Just don't feel like I'm ignoring you if I do my homework as well." She shook her head, put down her quill and rubbed her eyes. "There's so much work to do and I'm so tired."
"I could help you if you'd like," Remus approached. "I'm pretty good in Potions, if I do say so myself."
Kat's eyes lit up briefly but she shook her head. "There's only one day left until Christmas break; I don't want you to waste it, withering away in the library with me," she told him. "Go out with your friends; have fun! You're only young once." She gave him one more smile and turned back to her books.
As he left the library, trying to avoid limping in her presence, he thought of ways he could double back and tell her that he only wanted to be with her, to sit and listen to her gorgeous voice. He wanted to look into her crystal blue eyes all day and stroke her lovely auburn hair. But when he looked back, Kat was deeply involved in her notes and he left for the Gryffindor common room, not sure of where else to go.
As plans would have it, Lily, James, Remus, Kat and Sirius would take the Hogwarts Express to King's Cross for the beginning of Christmas holidays and Lily's parents would pick them up there. "I have to warn you," Lily began as the train pulled into the station, "that my sister is a little eccentric. She seems to think that being magical is a bad thing." Collecting her things, Lily led the way off the train and paused on the platform to look around for her parents. "Oh, good," she muttered when she saw them. "Petunia's not there."
Sirius glanced at Remus and mouthed, "Petunia?" Remus felt it hard to suppress a giggle, but Kat who had seen the motion as well, laughed aloud. Lily turned to see what the commotion was about and then turned back to her beaming parents.
"Mum, Dad," she introduced, "this is Sirius Black and Remus Lupin and you know Kat, of course." Kat shook hands with the Evans'. "And this," Lily continued, swinging James forward forcibly, "is James Potter."
Mrs. Evans grasped everyone's hand in turn. "So nice to meet you all," she said softly and it was clear where Lily got her red hair from. The green eyes, however, came from her father who was taller than any man Remus had ever seen.
"Let's get you kids loaded into the car," he boomed in a cheerful voice, leading them through the packs of people to the lot where Mr. and Mrs. Evans, Lily and Kat climbed into the front of the car. James, Remus and Sirius squeezed into the back and James cried out in pain as he slammed the car door on his foot.
"Damn," he muttered under his breath and Sirius began howling with laughter. The jovial moods lasted through the entire trip as Mr. and Mrs. Evans pummeled Lily with questions about school and Sirius annoyed Kat the whole way to the house.
"Diddly-dee, diddly-dee," he sang, tapping her on the head to the rhythm. Kat kept turning around to make rude hand gestures, her pretty face never frowning, but by the time they reached the Evans' house, Kat looked as though she was ready to beat Sirius into the ground.
The freshly fallen snow left the Evans' house looking like the front of a Christmas card. When Sirius got out of the car to stretch his legs, Remus saw Kat dart around to the other side of the car and disappear for a second. When she returned to his view, he saw that she was hiding a rather large pile of snow in her hands. Grinning, Remus decided he wanted to be as far away as he could be from Sirius when this happened.
Kat threw her arm around Sirius' shoulder. "What do you say you and I share a room?" she joked. Sirius' eyes lit up.
"All right!" he cheered, his face turning sour when Kat dumped the entire handful of snow down the back of his shirt.
"Diddly-dee!" she cried, hurrying into the house. "Diddly-dee!"
"She is so dead," Sirius cursed, flicking the back of his shirt so that the snow continued to drip out of it. James howled with laughter at Kat's little joke and Remus couldn't help but smile.
"I think she's very much alive, Sirius," he advised. "She's still walking and talking, isn't she?"
Sirius growled. "She won't be for long," he muttered humbly before heading into the house after Kat.
The Evans' house wasn't nearly as large as any house Remus had ever been in before but it had the kind warmth of one that was large in love. Dropping their wet jackets off at the door, they examined every inch of the lower floor until Lily directed everyone upstairs. "I know it's a Muggle house," she said almost apologetically, "but I grew up here so it has a special meaning to me." When they reached the second floor, Remus noticed a door ahead of them. "That's the attic," Lily said, noticing his staring. "Two of you will have to sleep up there because there's only one extra room and the extra bed in my room."
"I claim your room!" James cried.
"Kat and I will take the attic!" Sirius cried.
Lily gave them all a sharp look. "Nice try," she said witheringly, "but Mum and Dad have already laid down the laws. Kat, you will stay in my room. James, you will stay in the spare room. Sirius and Remus, you two will take the attic."
Sirius looked absolutely horrified at spending such a large amount of time away from Kat, but Kat didn't notice as she headed off to Lily's room. James looked equally put out, but Lily told him to behave and showed him to the spare room at the end of the hallway. "This door is kind of tricky," she advised Remus and Sirius when she returned. She kicked the bottom right corner of the attic door and it swung open slowly, creaking and groaning as though it were being disturbed.
"It may seem scary at first," Lily warned as they advanced up the creaky old staircase to the third floor, "but really, it's not. There are no ghosts or any other creatures that we might endure in the wizarding world up here."
Sirius snorted. "While we're on the topic of creatures," he muttered, "you should meet my mother. Scariest creature if there ever was one."
Lily smiled as she tugged on the drapes in the corner of the attic. They sprung to life and rolled upwards, casting a dusty image of light into the otherwise dark room. Sirius coughed at the dust and complained, "Isn't there a lamp or light switch or something up here?"
Lily clapped her hands twice and a light overhead turned on. "How's that for magic?" she asked, laughing at the two boys' amazement. "I'm heading back downstairs. Unpack and everything and come on down when you're ready." She disappeared off the landing and Remus set to unpacking his clothes immediately. Sirius, on the other hand, stretched out on his bed with his hands behind his head, staring at the ceiling.
"I guess you wouldn't fancy switching spots with Kat at night, would you mate?" he questioned Remus. "No offense or anything but Kat's a girl, you know."
"Really," Remus retorted sarcastically. "And I suppose Lily would like me invading her bedroom?"
"Oh she won't be there," Sirius informed him. "She's planning on sneaking into James' room overnight. And Kat's going to come up here." He smiled at his plan and suddenly Remus couldn't stand it anymore.
"What's going on between you two?" he asked, throwing down his trunk at the foot of his bed. "No one tells me anything anymore."
Sirius just stared at him. "They don't tell you," he finally said, "because they're afraid you'll act like that." He gestured to the stance in which Remus had taken, with his arms crossed in front of his chest defiantly. "Anyway," he added, "what's it any of your business what Kat and I are doing? That's between us and the walls."
"She's my friend," Remus said through gritted teeth, amazed at the anger that was coursing through his mind.
"She's more than a friend to me," Sirius grinned.
"I'll be downstairs," Remus said quickly, abandoning his trunk and going down the creaky steps. He kicked the corner of the door out of anger and it swung open, hitting the other side of the wall. He didn't know what made him feel so angry, but he suspected that it had to do with the fact that he felt Sirius was treating Kat like a prize. No one else could have her and truly respect or benefit from knowing her because she was Sirius Black's girlfriend.
He ran into Kat half way down to the kitchen and she jumped with surprise. "You startled me!" she cried, clutching a hand to her chest.
"Sorry," he apologized. "My mind's not exactly here at the moment."
Kat had a funny glint in her eye but it didn't last for more than a moment. "I was just coming to tell you guys that Lily's mum has lunch ready for us," she said, turning to go back down the stairs. "But I think that's them coming now, isn't it?"
Sure enough, three pairs of footsteps thumped down the stairs after Remus, their owners chattering about something. They stopped when they saw Remus and Lily gave him a guilty smile. "Ready to eat?" she asked him.
He shook his head and jumped onto the landing. "I'm not really hungry," he lied. "I was thinking I'd go for a quick walk."
Lily didn't say anything but Sirius gaped at his friend. "It's below freezing outside," he said incredulously. "Are you mad?"
"No," Remus replied coolly. "I just need to clear my head is all." He threw his jacket on over his sweater and flung open the door. The winter wind blasted his face like a gun, but he held fast to his idea of a walk and started to trudge down the drive and turned right once he got to the sidewalk. There was no snow blowing in the air, which made it easier to see than if it were snowing outside. He walked for what seemed like hours, his mind filled with one confusing thought after another. He couldn't help recalling the different way he had looked at Kat after Sirius had informed him that they were more than friends. It was almost as if she was a traitor and it scared Remus to experience these feelings. He only wanted his friends to be happy; so why did he feel so incredibly lousy?
He came to rest at the local park and sat on a swing (after clearing it off with his wand), pushing himself back and forth slowly, staring at the ground. There were still bits of sand showing between the tufts of snow and Remus kicked angrily at the snow with his foot. It shouldn't snow in England, he reasoned. Sure, it was pretty while it fell, but when a person had to walk through it for any length of time, it tended to get too cold for comfort.
"Busy?"
The voice made him jump out of his thoughts and he looked up to see Kat standing in front of him, holding out a pair of gloves. "Thought you might be cold," she explained, clearing off the swing beside him and sitting down. "And I brought you one of Mrs. Evans' turkey sandwiches," she said gesturing to her coat pocket, "so if you're hungry, let me know."
Remus didn't know whether to laugh or cry. It upset him that none of the friends he had for the past six years had trucked through the cold and the snow to come and see him, yet he was touched by Kat's kind gesture. She obviously did care, to some extent, or she just really like the cold winter weather and judging by the way she was shivering, that wasn't too likely.
"Want my jacket?" Remus offered, watching Kat shiver in the cold. "I'm not that cold, really."
She stared at him before breaking into a smile and Remus admired the way her lips slightly puckered before breaking into a huge grin. "I'm okay," she replied, "but thanks anyway." They were silent for a few more minutes and Remus desperately searched for a topic to discuss.
"Sirius said you seemed upset when you were unpacking," Kat said suddenly, unable to take her eyes off the ground. "Something bothering you?"
Here was his chance. He could tell Kat how incredibly and truly wonderful she was and how lucky she made him feel just by knowing her. He could tell her that he wanted to spend every waking moment with her, feel her beside him every day. But his mouth wouldn't speak the words. Instead, he shook his head like a fool, indicating that nothing was bothering him.
Suddenly Kat was staring at him as though he were under scrutiny. He refused to look at her for fear of what she might see in his eyes. As though she had read his mind, she said, "You're eyes are like a window into your soul, do you know that?"
"I guess that's a bad thing," he replied.
"Not always," she said, kicking back and swinging higher on the swing now that the wind had died away. "Sometimes it's a good thing. It lets people see things in us that we don't want to convey."
"Sirius told me about you two," he blurted out, feeling relieved. He was horrified that he had actually said it but was glad to get it off his chest. He had only known for less than an hour, but it was already acting as a weight in his chest, threatening to drown him if he didn't release it soon.
Kat continued to swing. "What about us?" she asked unconcerned.
Remus swallowed hard. "About how you were planning on sneaking up to the attic tonight after Lily's parents were asleep." Now he really couldn't look her in the eye but he noticed that her movement on the swing had ceased.
"What?" she asked steadily.
"He said that you were going to sneak up to see him and Lily was going to sneak into see James and I could sleep in Lily's extra bed." He paused, hoping she wouldn't get mad at him for butting into her business. Instead, he was puzzled to hear her laugh heartily.
"That's what he thinks, does he?" she asked, beginning to swing again, higher and higher as though each new motion took all the bad things and washed them away. "Well, won't he be sorely disappointed when I fail to show up?"
Remus' heart leapt. "You mean you were never planning on sneaking up there?"
She laughed again and oh, how her laughter sounded like gentle music. "Of course not," she said. "Only in his dreams, I suppose." Suddenly her voice became serious. "You see," she said slowly, "Sirius thinks he has a chance with me, but he really doesn't. Oh, I like him fine as a friend," she added, "but not as anything more than that."
"Does he know this?" Remus asked, his heart singing.
"I've told him time and time again," she informed him, "but I think Sirius only hears what he wants to hear. Reality doesn't quite sink in so well for him, does it?"
Remus shook his head, feeling immensely guilty at the happy feelings that were flowing through him at the moment. He didn't want his friends to get hurt, but he couldn't help but feel happy that Sirius wasn't getting everything Sirius wanted for once. For as long as he could remember, Sirius and James had always gotten everything: the girls, the fame, and the Quidditch talent. And Remus Lupin had always been the brain behind it all. But now, there was something that Sirius wanted and couldn't have handed to him on a platter. As much as Remus adored his friends, he couldn't help but smile all the way back to the house, eating the turkey sandwich that Kat had brought along for him. He felt thrilled to have her walking so close to him and could smell the perfume that she wore. It was a beautiful scent and he knew he would never forget it as long as he lived.
"Don't worry; I'm sure the weather will lighten up soon. Besides, it's only a game."
Sirius looked up sharply from his game of wizard's chess with Remus. "Just a game?" he asked. "Quidditch is just a game?" He shook his head ruefully. "Muggle-borns," he scoffed, causing Lily to stick her tongue out at him.
Snow began to fall towards the middle of November and everyone began discussing their plans for the Christmas holidays. Lily was going home to her parents' house where she claimed her evil sister lived. Sirius often requested to meet this sister and Lily granted his request by offering to bring him home with her for the holidays. It seemed as though it were a peace offering and before long, Lily had also invited James, Remus, Peter and Kat.
Peter was the only one who declined. "My parents want me home this vacation," he said in his squeaky little voice. Sirius chose to ignore this comment and sat back on the chair in front of the fireplace, his arm around Kat's shoulders.
"Wimp," he said under his breath. If Peter heard, he didn't say anything. Sirius grinned at his accomplishment of insulting someone and getting away with it and he snuggled even closer to Kat's side. Remus hadn't gotten up the courage to ask Sirius was exactly was going on between him and Kat. It was obvious that they were close but how close, Remus wasn't sure he wanted to know.
He got the chance to talk to Kat, however, shortly before Christmas vacation started. She was walking toward the library, her arms full of books, and Remus hurried to help her out. "Thanks," she said, smiling gratefully as he held the library door open for her. She dumped the books on the nearest table and turned to face him. "So you're going to the Evans' for Christmas, are you?"
He nodded. "Yeah. Are you?"
She stared at him for a moment. "Yeah, I am." She sighed heavily. "I don't know what Lily would do without me. Possibly fade into non- existence." Kat smiled to herself and pulled out a chair. "Have a seat," she said, waving her wand at the nearest chair. It pulled itself out from underneath the table and Remus sat down slowly. The full moon had just passed and he was feeling the aftermath of his transformation. Everything ached, down to the pockets on his robes, but he tried not to show it.
"Excited for the holidays?" she asked, scrutinizing him as though she could see past his façade to his pain.
"Of course." He nodded his head. "It's nice that we'll all be together this year. Usually Sirius stays at school but James goes home, as does Peter. James invited us every year but Sirius and I always stayed at Hogwarts."
"Why are you going now?" Kat began opening her books and scattering them across the table so she had a good view of the inside pages of each. Flipping through the pages of the nearest one, she opened her notebook and began taking notes on how to make a Calming Draught.
Remus shrugged, unable to admit the fact that he just wanted to get to know Kat better. "Something different," he answered, turning his head away but feeling her continued gaze on him.
"Why don't you go to your home for Christmas, Remus?"
Something about the way she said his name sent a thrill down his spine. He actually shuddered at the flow of emotions and struggled to keep his mind steady. "My parents have been a little...peaky these past few years," he said truthfully. "Things are different in my house, changed, and I guess I remind them of those differences. It's not that they don't want to see me," he added hurriedly, seeing the look of panic on Kat's pretty face. "It's just there's so much going on that I'm not even going to begin to explain it and I'll stop rambling now." He smiled sheepishly and Kat smiled in return.
"I don't mind listening," she encouraged him. "Just don't feel like I'm ignoring you if I do my homework as well." She shook her head, put down her quill and rubbed her eyes. "There's so much work to do and I'm so tired."
"I could help you if you'd like," Remus approached. "I'm pretty good in Potions, if I do say so myself."
Kat's eyes lit up briefly but she shook her head. "There's only one day left until Christmas break; I don't want you to waste it, withering away in the library with me," she told him. "Go out with your friends; have fun! You're only young once." She gave him one more smile and turned back to her books.
As he left the library, trying to avoid limping in her presence, he thought of ways he could double back and tell her that he only wanted to be with her, to sit and listen to her gorgeous voice. He wanted to look into her crystal blue eyes all day and stroke her lovely auburn hair. But when he looked back, Kat was deeply involved in her notes and he left for the Gryffindor common room, not sure of where else to go.
As plans would have it, Lily, James, Remus, Kat and Sirius would take the Hogwarts Express to King's Cross for the beginning of Christmas holidays and Lily's parents would pick them up there. "I have to warn you," Lily began as the train pulled into the station, "that my sister is a little eccentric. She seems to think that being magical is a bad thing." Collecting her things, Lily led the way off the train and paused on the platform to look around for her parents. "Oh, good," she muttered when she saw them. "Petunia's not there."
Sirius glanced at Remus and mouthed, "Petunia?" Remus felt it hard to suppress a giggle, but Kat who had seen the motion as well, laughed aloud. Lily turned to see what the commotion was about and then turned back to her beaming parents.
"Mum, Dad," she introduced, "this is Sirius Black and Remus Lupin and you know Kat, of course." Kat shook hands with the Evans'. "And this," Lily continued, swinging James forward forcibly, "is James Potter."
Mrs. Evans grasped everyone's hand in turn. "So nice to meet you all," she said softly and it was clear where Lily got her red hair from. The green eyes, however, came from her father who was taller than any man Remus had ever seen.
"Let's get you kids loaded into the car," he boomed in a cheerful voice, leading them through the packs of people to the lot where Mr. and Mrs. Evans, Lily and Kat climbed into the front of the car. James, Remus and Sirius squeezed into the back and James cried out in pain as he slammed the car door on his foot.
"Damn," he muttered under his breath and Sirius began howling with laughter. The jovial moods lasted through the entire trip as Mr. and Mrs. Evans pummeled Lily with questions about school and Sirius annoyed Kat the whole way to the house.
"Diddly-dee, diddly-dee," he sang, tapping her on the head to the rhythm. Kat kept turning around to make rude hand gestures, her pretty face never frowning, but by the time they reached the Evans' house, Kat looked as though she was ready to beat Sirius into the ground.
The freshly fallen snow left the Evans' house looking like the front of a Christmas card. When Sirius got out of the car to stretch his legs, Remus saw Kat dart around to the other side of the car and disappear for a second. When she returned to his view, he saw that she was hiding a rather large pile of snow in her hands. Grinning, Remus decided he wanted to be as far away as he could be from Sirius when this happened.
Kat threw her arm around Sirius' shoulder. "What do you say you and I share a room?" she joked. Sirius' eyes lit up.
"All right!" he cheered, his face turning sour when Kat dumped the entire handful of snow down the back of his shirt.
"Diddly-dee!" she cried, hurrying into the house. "Diddly-dee!"
"She is so dead," Sirius cursed, flicking the back of his shirt so that the snow continued to drip out of it. James howled with laughter at Kat's little joke and Remus couldn't help but smile.
"I think she's very much alive, Sirius," he advised. "She's still walking and talking, isn't she?"
Sirius growled. "She won't be for long," he muttered humbly before heading into the house after Kat.
The Evans' house wasn't nearly as large as any house Remus had ever been in before but it had the kind warmth of one that was large in love. Dropping their wet jackets off at the door, they examined every inch of the lower floor until Lily directed everyone upstairs. "I know it's a Muggle house," she said almost apologetically, "but I grew up here so it has a special meaning to me." When they reached the second floor, Remus noticed a door ahead of them. "That's the attic," Lily said, noticing his staring. "Two of you will have to sleep up there because there's only one extra room and the extra bed in my room."
"I claim your room!" James cried.
"Kat and I will take the attic!" Sirius cried.
Lily gave them all a sharp look. "Nice try," she said witheringly, "but Mum and Dad have already laid down the laws. Kat, you will stay in my room. James, you will stay in the spare room. Sirius and Remus, you two will take the attic."
Sirius looked absolutely horrified at spending such a large amount of time away from Kat, but Kat didn't notice as she headed off to Lily's room. James looked equally put out, but Lily told him to behave and showed him to the spare room at the end of the hallway. "This door is kind of tricky," she advised Remus and Sirius when she returned. She kicked the bottom right corner of the attic door and it swung open slowly, creaking and groaning as though it were being disturbed.
"It may seem scary at first," Lily warned as they advanced up the creaky old staircase to the third floor, "but really, it's not. There are no ghosts or any other creatures that we might endure in the wizarding world up here."
Sirius snorted. "While we're on the topic of creatures," he muttered, "you should meet my mother. Scariest creature if there ever was one."
Lily smiled as she tugged on the drapes in the corner of the attic. They sprung to life and rolled upwards, casting a dusty image of light into the otherwise dark room. Sirius coughed at the dust and complained, "Isn't there a lamp or light switch or something up here?"
Lily clapped her hands twice and a light overhead turned on. "How's that for magic?" she asked, laughing at the two boys' amazement. "I'm heading back downstairs. Unpack and everything and come on down when you're ready." She disappeared off the landing and Remus set to unpacking his clothes immediately. Sirius, on the other hand, stretched out on his bed with his hands behind his head, staring at the ceiling.
"I guess you wouldn't fancy switching spots with Kat at night, would you mate?" he questioned Remus. "No offense or anything but Kat's a girl, you know."
"Really," Remus retorted sarcastically. "And I suppose Lily would like me invading her bedroom?"
"Oh she won't be there," Sirius informed him. "She's planning on sneaking into James' room overnight. And Kat's going to come up here." He smiled at his plan and suddenly Remus couldn't stand it anymore.
"What's going on between you two?" he asked, throwing down his trunk at the foot of his bed. "No one tells me anything anymore."
Sirius just stared at him. "They don't tell you," he finally said, "because they're afraid you'll act like that." He gestured to the stance in which Remus had taken, with his arms crossed in front of his chest defiantly. "Anyway," he added, "what's it any of your business what Kat and I are doing? That's between us and the walls."
"She's my friend," Remus said through gritted teeth, amazed at the anger that was coursing through his mind.
"She's more than a friend to me," Sirius grinned.
"I'll be downstairs," Remus said quickly, abandoning his trunk and going down the creaky steps. He kicked the corner of the door out of anger and it swung open, hitting the other side of the wall. He didn't know what made him feel so angry, but he suspected that it had to do with the fact that he felt Sirius was treating Kat like a prize. No one else could have her and truly respect or benefit from knowing her because she was Sirius Black's girlfriend.
He ran into Kat half way down to the kitchen and she jumped with surprise. "You startled me!" she cried, clutching a hand to her chest.
"Sorry," he apologized. "My mind's not exactly here at the moment."
Kat had a funny glint in her eye but it didn't last for more than a moment. "I was just coming to tell you guys that Lily's mum has lunch ready for us," she said, turning to go back down the stairs. "But I think that's them coming now, isn't it?"
Sure enough, three pairs of footsteps thumped down the stairs after Remus, their owners chattering about something. They stopped when they saw Remus and Lily gave him a guilty smile. "Ready to eat?" she asked him.
He shook his head and jumped onto the landing. "I'm not really hungry," he lied. "I was thinking I'd go for a quick walk."
Lily didn't say anything but Sirius gaped at his friend. "It's below freezing outside," he said incredulously. "Are you mad?"
"No," Remus replied coolly. "I just need to clear my head is all." He threw his jacket on over his sweater and flung open the door. The winter wind blasted his face like a gun, but he held fast to his idea of a walk and started to trudge down the drive and turned right once he got to the sidewalk. There was no snow blowing in the air, which made it easier to see than if it were snowing outside. He walked for what seemed like hours, his mind filled with one confusing thought after another. He couldn't help recalling the different way he had looked at Kat after Sirius had informed him that they were more than friends. It was almost as if she was a traitor and it scared Remus to experience these feelings. He only wanted his friends to be happy; so why did he feel so incredibly lousy?
He came to rest at the local park and sat on a swing (after clearing it off with his wand), pushing himself back and forth slowly, staring at the ground. There were still bits of sand showing between the tufts of snow and Remus kicked angrily at the snow with his foot. It shouldn't snow in England, he reasoned. Sure, it was pretty while it fell, but when a person had to walk through it for any length of time, it tended to get too cold for comfort.
"Busy?"
The voice made him jump out of his thoughts and he looked up to see Kat standing in front of him, holding out a pair of gloves. "Thought you might be cold," she explained, clearing off the swing beside him and sitting down. "And I brought you one of Mrs. Evans' turkey sandwiches," she said gesturing to her coat pocket, "so if you're hungry, let me know."
Remus didn't know whether to laugh or cry. It upset him that none of the friends he had for the past six years had trucked through the cold and the snow to come and see him, yet he was touched by Kat's kind gesture. She obviously did care, to some extent, or she just really like the cold winter weather and judging by the way she was shivering, that wasn't too likely.
"Want my jacket?" Remus offered, watching Kat shiver in the cold. "I'm not that cold, really."
She stared at him before breaking into a smile and Remus admired the way her lips slightly puckered before breaking into a huge grin. "I'm okay," she replied, "but thanks anyway." They were silent for a few more minutes and Remus desperately searched for a topic to discuss.
"Sirius said you seemed upset when you were unpacking," Kat said suddenly, unable to take her eyes off the ground. "Something bothering you?"
Here was his chance. He could tell Kat how incredibly and truly wonderful she was and how lucky she made him feel just by knowing her. He could tell her that he wanted to spend every waking moment with her, feel her beside him every day. But his mouth wouldn't speak the words. Instead, he shook his head like a fool, indicating that nothing was bothering him.
Suddenly Kat was staring at him as though he were under scrutiny. He refused to look at her for fear of what she might see in his eyes. As though she had read his mind, she said, "You're eyes are like a window into your soul, do you know that?"
"I guess that's a bad thing," he replied.
"Not always," she said, kicking back and swinging higher on the swing now that the wind had died away. "Sometimes it's a good thing. It lets people see things in us that we don't want to convey."
"Sirius told me about you two," he blurted out, feeling relieved. He was horrified that he had actually said it but was glad to get it off his chest. He had only known for less than an hour, but it was already acting as a weight in his chest, threatening to drown him if he didn't release it soon.
Kat continued to swing. "What about us?" she asked unconcerned.
Remus swallowed hard. "About how you were planning on sneaking up to the attic tonight after Lily's parents were asleep." Now he really couldn't look her in the eye but he noticed that her movement on the swing had ceased.
"What?" she asked steadily.
"He said that you were going to sneak up to see him and Lily was going to sneak into see James and I could sleep in Lily's extra bed." He paused, hoping she wouldn't get mad at him for butting into her business. Instead, he was puzzled to hear her laugh heartily.
"That's what he thinks, does he?" she asked, beginning to swing again, higher and higher as though each new motion took all the bad things and washed them away. "Well, won't he be sorely disappointed when I fail to show up?"
Remus' heart leapt. "You mean you were never planning on sneaking up there?"
She laughed again and oh, how her laughter sounded like gentle music. "Of course not," she said. "Only in his dreams, I suppose." Suddenly her voice became serious. "You see," she said slowly, "Sirius thinks he has a chance with me, but he really doesn't. Oh, I like him fine as a friend," she added, "but not as anything more than that."
"Does he know this?" Remus asked, his heart singing.
"I've told him time and time again," she informed him, "but I think Sirius only hears what he wants to hear. Reality doesn't quite sink in so well for him, does it?"
Remus shook his head, feeling immensely guilty at the happy feelings that were flowing through him at the moment. He didn't want his friends to get hurt, but he couldn't help but feel happy that Sirius wasn't getting everything Sirius wanted for once. For as long as he could remember, Sirius and James had always gotten everything: the girls, the fame, and the Quidditch talent. And Remus Lupin had always been the brain behind it all. But now, there was something that Sirius wanted and couldn't have handed to him on a platter. As much as Remus adored his friends, he couldn't help but smile all the way back to the house, eating the turkey sandwich that Kat had brought along for him. He felt thrilled to have her walking so close to him and could smell the perfume that she wore. It was a beautiful scent and he knew he would never forget it as long as he lived.