Cliché Ch 4

            "WHAT THE BLOODY HELL!" I screamed at the top of my lungs, causing Lego-lass to cringe in pain.

            "You have again proved my point, milady" he answered calmly.

            "ARGH!" I screamed. "FRITZ! SAVE ME!"

            She grinned impishly and chucked maniacally. "I think I can manage that."

            Legolas edged away, while trying to free himself from her grip on his arm. "I apologize for startling you but I cannot help speaking my mind."

            "Yeah well, don't!" I snapped. My god he has gorgeous eyes……NO! NO he doesn't! He's just a random elf who dropped into my room, and RUINED MY POSTERS! With the most incredible good looks that I have ever seen…. "Apology accepted. SO what are we going to do? You can't get back and….FRITZ! STOP TRYING TO RAPE HIM!"

            Legolas looked at me with those god-given eyes thankfully. "Miss Fritz, do you mind?"

            "Umm…..no." She stared at him, happily. "He knows my name!" she squeaked.

            Legolas looked insulted. "You consider my intelligence so little that I cannot remember a name? I know all of your names…..Our lovely host is Maris, the one on Aragorn is Captain, the one on me is Fritz, and the 3 downstairs are Rosie, Arwen, and Azia. Happy?"

            My face turned bright red. "OK, we really need to find a way to get you both back to M.E…..now!"

            Captain looked disappointed and tightened her grip on Arago-away! Fritz wrapped her arms about Leggy and refused to let go. Azia called from downstairs, "MARIS! What is going on up there?"

            She and Arwen and Rosie raced up the stairs to find complete chaos! My face was so red I could have fried an egg on it. "Azia, Lego-lassie come home has decided that I am pretty when I scream and Captain and Fritz want to rape them. What am I supposed to do?"

            "Um….I don't know!" She tried to hide a giggle but it didn't work.

            "YOU AREN"T HELPING!" I shuddered to think of what my parents would say. 'Lauren, what are two very strange men doing in our house? What happened? Why is our house suddenly a war-zone? We are NEVER letting you stay home alone again young lady!'  Yeah, that'd be fun. I can see it now…..

            "Milady?" Lego-so-hott interrupted.

            I tried to find something to say. "Yes……"

            "Would you mind getting Fritz off of me?"

            I looked at Fritz, who shook her head vigorously and tightened her grip. "But I think she likes it where she is…"

            He glared at me and smiled impishly, "Would you mind taking her place?"

            "@^&#%^$&$)" I blushed furiously and threw myself onto my bed, burying my head in a pillow. "Someone please kill me now….." I muttered, totally and utterly embarrassed beyond my wits. "Look Leggy, I'm sure that you are a great elf but I am just a little disturbed at the moment," his totally hott and sexy face allowed a slight look of disappointment. Why do you have to be so hott! WHY! Why me? Why do I have to be the only one of my friends who feels compelled to maintain self control and dignity? WHY?

            Leggy looked concerned and put his hand on my back. "Are you alright?"

            I cringed and he removed his hand. "Don't touch me!" I snapped.

            He looked hurt. "I am sorry. As soon as it is possible to return home, I will and never trouble you again."

             DAMMIT! Why does he have to try the guilt trip thing?! And he looks so HOTT doing that! NO! ITS NOT FAIR! NO! Make it stop, mommy, make it stop! OK…..I give! WAAAAAAAAAA! NO STUPID BLOODY ELF WITH HOTT EYES!

            "No, that's ok. You don't have to leave just yet….."

            His eyes lit up. "Really? I can stay? Thank you milady." He went back into 'formal' mode.

            "NO! He's mine!" Fritz screamed. "MINE I tell you! MINE!" She began to laugh maniacally, in a way I can only describe as a chipmunk on crack. "MINE! Can't touch him! He's mine! My preciousssssss!"

            Wow! OK…no more sugar for Fritz. And I will definitely have to do something about Leggy's guilt trip…..DAMMIT!  

            "Yeah, ok. So what do you all want to do?" Why did I just say that? Captain and Fritz are giving poor Aragorn and Lego-building blocks stares that put me in mind of a starving rabid raccoon…..*shudder* "Ok, don't answer that. Why don't we all go downstairs and play a nice quiet board game….like Monopoly or Risk or-"

            Fritz cut me off. "SPIN THE BOTTLE!"

            I glared at her but was immediately over-ruled by everyone but Arwen, who made a face. "But…." She tried to make an excuse but to no avail.

            I squirmed as I felt Leggy's eyes on me. "Save me…"