Chapter 2

Are You Okay?

Today my mom came home earlier than usual. She's probably here to check up on me as if I were a child, which I'm not. I don't understand why she's so worried. I've stayed home alone with my stepbrother many times before and haven't gotten into any trouble, although I did almost burn the house down. But that was like years ago and my mom should be thankful that our house is still standing. My mother knocks on my door and I try to pick up this messy room but it's seems useless. Is it possible that the room looks worse?

Mom asked, "Can I come in?"

"Uh sure," I replied.

"Hey, I got you some lunch. I thought I'd treat you."

"Thanks. I was kinda hungry."

"Are you feeling okay?"

"I'm better I guess." I said and shrugged my shoulders. What do I say, the truth?

"You don't sound too sure about that. Is anything on your mind? You can tell me anything." She said and smiled kindly.

"Thanks, but I'm fine."

"Then I guess you can go to school tomorrow."

"But mom . . . don't make me go."

"Why is that?" I just look at her and I am speechless, "Yeah that's what I thought. Your food is getting cold." Then she left the room. This is not fair. I don't want to go. I hear another knock on my door and they don't even wait until I reply.

"Ever hear of knocking?" I asked.

"I did knock." Toby said. I hate it when he's right. Quick come up with a reply.

"But you should wait for me to answer. Who knows I could've been naked."

"Then next time I'll wait for sure because nobody wants to see that."

"Hey is this why you came in here; to mock me?"

"That and Paige gave me the homework you unfortunately missed out on. She had to go on a date with Spinner."

"That's not surprising. God, how much homework did they give me?"

"A lot but that is what you get for not going."

"Stop with the guilt trip bro. Hey you can always help me."

"By helping you mean do it for you, right? Uh I think I'll pass. Anyways JT is coming over any minute to study."

I sigh quite loudly, "Toby, I don't want you and your little friend running around."

"He's coming over. I hope you get better . . . faker." Oh he thinks he knows everything and he's probably right.

"Yeah whatever." I said. There goes all the peace and quietness around here. I guess everything will be okay just as long as they don't bother me and just leave me alone. Toby is right next-door and I swear the walls are paper thin. Wait why are the walls vibrating and where is that music coming from? I walk into the hallway and the music is coming from his room. Oh this makes me so mad.

"Toby open this door!" I shouted but of course he didn't hear me so I just went inside. When I did so Toby and JT are jumping on the bed playing air guitar and drums. I stand in front of them finding this quite amusing.

"So this is how you study? Interesting!" Then they both stop jumping and turn my way. I've never seen JT blush so much.

"Hey Ashley it was Toby's idea." JT said and then Toby hits him on the head with a pillow.

"Sure it was." I replied and tried not to laugh.

"Ashley how may we help you." Toby asked turning down the volume.

"Why so formal? Anyway I just wanted you to lower the volume, but you already did so I'll be leaving now. This was entertaining."

JT shouted, "We'll be here all week." I just look at him thinking Toby could have worse friends. I needed something like this to cheer me up. It feels good to laugh.

"Hey Ashley, could you help me set the table?" Mom asked.

"Sure I have nothing else to do." I replied. When we got into the kitchen mom is quiet.

"So how was your day mom?"

"Oh great. I got a raise."

"That's great." I said and went to get the plates out of the cupboard.

"Are you depressed?" I almost dropped a plate, but caught it just before it hit the ground.

"No I'm sick. Do I seem it?"

"You just seem quite lately and on the last two weekends you've stayed home."

"Can't I just spend time my family?" I shouted back. This is crazy.

"That's fine but it feels like you're holding back. We can talk about anything. You know that." Mom said.

I whispered back, "Yeah I know."

"Good, now get back to setting the table." I hate to male mom all paranoid like this but I can't tell her about Craig and everything. She would only judge and I don't need that. I'll be all right. Everything will be all right. It just takes time.

Not Now

I want to tell you what is going on,

But I can't find the words

And now you think I'm holding back

Maybe I am, but what is wrong with that?

Maybe I'll tell you one day but not now,

Not today...

Dinner is going pretty well, just a normal family dinner. At least I have a family because people aren't that lucky. Some kids' parents are divorced, separated, and some even dead. There is so much crap going on in my life, but at least it isn't that bad. This doesn't mean I always agree with my parents because I sometimes don't but at least they're there. That's the point I'm trying to get across.

"JT go get your stuff. I'll drive you home." My step dad said grabbing his keys.

"Okay!" JT said and Toby followed him into his room. Before leaving JT looked at me strangely. I think he can sense the intensity between the folks and me. I don't know what to say to mom. I don't think she knows what to say. Then I hear the phone. Thank god. I run and pick it up.

"Hello, this is Ashley speaking." I said.

"Hey what's up, Ash?"

"Hi Ellie, and nothing much."

"Same here. Where were you today?" Ellie asked concerned.

"Sick. I've been sick."

"Yeah right."

"Okay I lied. I just can't go Ellie. I can't face everybody."

"If you don't then they've won. Craig is a jerk; you know that. I know that. You got to move on."

"I have too, against my will. My mom is making me go tomorrow. You know what she called me?" I ask, but don't let her reply. "She called me depressed."

"Oh... are you?"

"Yeah I guess but I don't want people to know that. It's not very flattering."

"That's true. If it makes you any happier my life isn't much better."

"Sorry..." I said. Her father is away in the army and her mother is at home drunk half the time. I don't know what else to say besides sorry. I've never experienced anything like that. My parents don't drink, not even at weddings. Poor Ellie, it must be horrible to come home to a quiet house with nobody to talk to, nobody to understand. We're kind of in the same boat. We both need someone to talk to, someone to acknowledge us.

"I gotta go." Ellie said.

"Okay see you at school."

"Yeah see you then." She hangs up and I decide to go upstairs where I can be alone. JT, Toby and dad have already left so I don't want to go downstairs. I flip through my CD collection and finally pick something: The Doors Greatest Hits. Then I turn on the shower and try to wash my troubles away. Tomorrow is another day, but this time I can't hide from the world. It's time to face it.

Author's Note: Hey everybody this is my first Ashley fic so I hope it is worthy of her. Sorry I haven't updated in a while. I've been busy. R&R!