Title: Hybrid
Rating: PG-13
Pairings: None
Spoilers: None
Warnings: Angst
Disclaimers: ::shakes head:: nope, they're not mine!
Author's Notes: ::scratches head:: I really don't know where this one came from…I just know that the title came from the name of a professional haircolor called…get this!...HYBRID! hahahaha!! Matrix (A professional haircare line) has a haircolor line that they're discontinuing and I thought the name was rather catchy. As for the storyline..well…o.O…what can I say? This was just one of those spur of the moment kind of deals. Anyway, if you enjoyed it, please let me know! Even if you didn't enjoy it, I'd still like to hear about it, even though flames will be laughed at. Cosntructive criticism is nice, though. So read away, and please, don't forget to review it!!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hybrid-(Hy-brid) adj.-containing mixed elements: made up of different elements or compounds.
'Is that why I'm so different? Is this why I feel so strange?' The thoughts keep running through my mind like lightning, striking me at random times, as if purposely keeping me off-balance. I have always known I was not the same as the others, there was always something strange about the way I interpreted things that made me different. I did not even know that this could be the reason for it.
'I am not completely human…' This thought is constantly at the edge of my mind, taunting me and laughing as if it were some comical joke in a bad infomercial. I can feel it burning me like acid, slowly decaying all things I believe in. The pain is excruciating, but I continue to bear it.
'What am I, if not human?' I do not know what the other half of me is. I sometimes wish that it would be a fierce animal, you know, something strong. Then I would believe that things would get better because I have this strong animal presence within me to keep me from falling. But I have always been falling, and it has not caught me.
'I wish things were different…' I have always wanted to be normal, wanted to be like the others. They were always so strong, so trusting. I don't think I ever learned to trust any of them.
'I don't even have a name.' Yes, I don't know my true name. I have been given names, but none of them are mine. I know it is selfish, but I want my name. The one that was given to me by somebody that loved me. At least, I hoped they loved me. But with the thought that they allowed me to be combined with something unexplainable, another thought irritates me.
'They didn't love me.' I try not to believe that. I want to believe that they did love me, that they never wanted to leave me alone. I don't know why they left me, but I know it must have been for a good reason. No parent would leave their son alone if they could help it. So they must not have been able to help me at all.
'Or could they have helped…' Maybe they didn't want me. Maybe because I was mixed with something strange, something unknown, they abandoned me at the earliest moment, swearing to never love such a horrid creature. I am a horrid creature, designed to be a mass killer when in reach of a mobile suit. I can pilot with my eyes closed, and I have been taught to use firearms since I was very small, before I can even remember.
'I have always known weapons.' Weapons have been my friend throughout the 16 years of my life. Well, at least 13 years of that life, anyway. Before that is a blur, memories that no one can remember no matter how hard they try. But the weapons, I will always remember those. It was the first thing I ever learned, and I will never forget.
'No matter how hard I try…' The war has been over for a year, and my skills are no longer necessary. Peace negotiations are going very well for the Earth Sphere Unified Nations, and the colonies have all readily accepted whatever peace talk is available. I am glad that things are going well, but there are times that I miss it. Not so much the battles, but the feeling that I had a purpose. I wasn't someone who was just lazily thrown into the war, I was trained. Trained from the very beginning to fight like mercenaries and battle like those of ancient legends long forgotten.
"Trowa?"
I can hear them, the people I've befriended during the war. I hear their talk, their laughter. I can sense how happy they are, how amazingly free they seem to be now that they no longer have the war shadowing their futures.
"Trowa?"
They don't need me. They seem perfectly content without my company. I can only bring down their happy moods, anyway…
"TROWA?!"
"What?" I answer, looking up from the dictionary lying in my hands. Quatre's large blue eyes and friendly face loom in front of me, and I can't help but grin as he waves his hand in front of my face.
"Are you all right? You seemed kind of spaced out a few minutes ago." I shrug, closing the book and putting it back in its rightful space next to the encyclopedias.
"I was just thinking, that's all. I'm fine now." Quatre just raised an eyebrow at me before he walked to the front desk to check out the book he held in his hand. I don't know why I let him drag me to the library, of all places, but I could not deny that it pleased me greatly to be with someone who appeared to care.
"Hey Trowa, come on! Remember, we're meeting the others for lunch in ten minutes!" Quatre yelled across the relatively silent library. Again, I smiled when his face turned a pleasant shade of red when the entire library looked at him with glares that would match Heero's for intensity.
"I'm coming, Quatre." I say, looking at the dictionary one more time. No, the others don't need someone like me. They are all human, with the feelings and heart to match. I am human, but not completely. A part of me is something different, something that makes me mechanical in ways that others are not.
I am a hybrid, a creature with mixed compounds that makes me unlike the others of my kind. But, like the others, I have some desire to be with them. So, even though I am different, they have accepted me. And I, being what I am, have accepted them. A hybrid amongst normal people, and normal people along with a hybrid.
---------
-A/N: Like I said...just a strange piece of work that came from somewhere in the cobwebby recesses of my twisted mind. Anyway, I'm not expecting a bunch of reviews on this one, however, if you feel like it, I'm not about to stop you. Constructive criticism about this one would be most helpful considering that I really didn't get a beta for this one and I really didn't re-read it. Anyway, I hope you liked it!!
-Owari
SilentOne