Chapter 6: Nothing Is Wrong
Written by: Sister-Cousin
Author's Note: Hey following readers thanks for the reviewing and keep reading. Here is more…
Ellie went home Sunday afternoon. We slept in late that morning and it was fun spending time with my best friend. Her and Sean make a cute couple and she seems happier. Even though she is happy I'm not too sure how I feel about Sean. He sort of has a bad reputation at school. The rumor is that he is stealing school supplies like DVD players and laptops, but I suppose Ellie can handle herself. I might keep a close eye on them though.
Now it's Monday and let me just tell you that I hate Mondays. Nothing good comes out of Mondays, only unhappiness. The day goes by slowly and there is nothing you can do about it. I do the usual morning routine, grab my backpack, and head downstairs. I actually don't look that bad considering I got ready in less than thirty minutes. What? I was running late. When I get into the kitchen I see my black notebook on the kitchen table. Hmm…. I wondered where it went, but why is it down here? What is going on?
"Oh Ashley I found that in your room while I was getting you clothes hamper." Mom said.
"Oh yeah. I'm glad you found it. Thanks. I'm going to leave now." I said and headed towards the door.
"We need to talk. Ashley, I'm worried about you."
"I know, but don't be I'm fine."
"Do you really feel that alone?"
"What do you mean?" I asked and came closer to her. "Did you read it?"
"Yes, but I did it because I was concerned. Honey, I'm scared."
"Mother, they're poems. I was upset and wrote what I felt. Don't be scared. I'm not some kind of mental case and you should've never read it in the first place. I need to go."
"You're right it's getting late, but I called the school earlier this morning and put you into a program for kids with problems."
"I'm not a kid and I don't have a problem." I shouted.
"Maybe you're right, but I think you need to discuss what you're feeling with other students who have similar thoughts. I think it will help."
"I'm not going to that stupid program because I'm fine. I can handle myself and what you call 'my problem'."
"You're going okay? You're going because I said so. Don't be mad at me." Mom said and hugged me, but I pushed her away.
"I need to go now."
"Fine. It starts right after school in room 202 so be there. I love you."
I mumble, "Yeah that is what you say, but you don't mean it."
How dare she accuse me of having a problem? I was so stupid for writing down my thoughts in a notebook that anybody could just pick up and read. Why the heck is she so worried? Everybody feels lonely once in awhile. It happens everyday. So what if I am upset? Everybody gets upset. It's only normal, but that's the thing my mom isn't normal. She's blind and doesn't know her own daughter because if she did she would know I'm not a metal case. I don't need to discuss my problems to other students. It's embarrassing. I just won't tell anybody anything. They don't need to know. They don't deserve to know. Then it's settled I won't talk to anybody in that stupid meeting after school. There will probably be a bunch of losers in there anyways. I don't like to associate with losers.
I was late for homeroom, but I didn't care. I was too upset to care. Then the school announcements came on ,but I didn't pay attention because I was in a thinking mode. The bell rang so I got up and bumped into somebody.
"Excuse me." I said.
"It's okay." It was Craig, the idiot.
"Yeah whatever."
"Ash, I'm sorry." He said while standing in my way so I was trapped.
"Um you already said that and I still don't accept so stop bringing it up." I said and he moved out of my way with ease. In the hallway Ellie caught up with me.
"Hey Ashley are you okay? I saw that you ran into Craig." She said with a look of concern in her eyes.
"I tell you what I told my mom, I'm fine." I responded. Why was I being so mean to Ellie? She was my best friend and if anybody would understand it would be her.
"Geez sorry I asked you."
"I'm sorry El, but I'm not very happy at the moment."
"I noticed. What happened?"
"I don't want to talk about it."
"Will you tell me later?" She asked.
"I don't think so." I said and she just stared at me and for a minute there I thought she was going to hug me, but she didn't. Instead she dropped the subject and we continued walking to our next class. I sat in the back of the classroom and Ellie sat next to me. Whenever the English teacher asked a question I didn't raise my hand like I usually did. Why should I draw any attention to myself? All I wanted to do was become invisible or go to another country where nobody knew me, a place where nobody would know me for Ashley, Craig's ex girlfriend. I wanted a new start.
Soon lunch came and I sat with Ellie, Marco and Dylan. Yeah he decided to sit with us today out of all days. I wasn't really in the talking mode and looked straight ahead of me. I wasn't staring at one thing in particular.
"Ashley, do you want my cookies?" Ellie asked.
"Oh sure. Thanks." I replied. Maybe some cookies would make me feel better and take my mind off Craig.
"Are you okay? You're not very talkative today." Marco said.
"I'm fine. I just have nothing to say."
"Oh by the way I like the hair. It looks great."
"Thanks and I decided to go to another hair salon so that's probably why." I said and ate the cookies. Yummy and they were good.
"Well I got to go to the library. It was nice eating lunch with you. Oh yeah Marco can you meet me at the Dot today after school?" Dylan asked.
Marco replied, "Maybe another time. I have something to do after school."
"Oh okay. Bye Ashley and Ellie."
"You guys make a cute couple. You know that right?" Ellie grinned.
"Shhh...not too loud."
"Why everybody knows about you two."
"They do?"
"Yeah." Ellie said and looked at him strangely.
"I really like Dylan, but other people thinks it's wrong for us to see each other and I end up paying for it."
"I'm sorry."
"It's fine."
Poor Marco. It would suck to have to hide your true feelings because I know he really likes Dylan. He finally got the courage to ask him out and that was a big stuff. People can be so close minded sometimes. So what if Marco is different? He's still a human being and should be treated like one. It's horrible that he gets harassed for being gay. I really don't get it. He is still the same Marco that he has always been and I hope he never changes.
My last three classes went by quickly but I wish they didn't. Yeah that sounds insane, but for once I wish school would never end. Now I have to go that program for unsociable teens or whatever they call it. Maybe I should show up late that way the teacher would kick me out. Ah ha like that would happen. I'll just be really rude and then maybe I will get kicked out, but I'm not very good at being rude. I slowly walk down the hallways and watch the kids pass me, but I keep walking until I reach room 202.
"Oh Ashley what are you doing here?" Ellie asked.
"I'm here for a meeting."
"You are?"
"Yeah are you?" I asked but she didn't answer me. Just then Marco walked up to us and stopped in his footsteps and for a minute I thought he was going to run away.
"Oh hi guys. Why are you here?" Marco asked, nervously.
"Um my mom made me." I said and then we both looked at Ellie waiting for some kind of reply.
"What?" She shouted.
"Um are you going to move any time soon?" Jimmy asked from behind us.
"Oh yeah we should go in." Marco said and we all went inside the classroom that smelled of chalk and Lysol. Yes, I've smelled better things. We all took a seat. Then from the corner of my I saw Manny sitting in the corner of the room staring out the window. This is going to be fun. Somebody coughs and I turn away from Manny.
"Hello students I'm Miss Miller and I'm a new teacher and in charge of this class." Miss Miller announced just then Liberty comes rushing through the door and the rest us gasp.
"Sorry I'm late. I was delayed because my Newspaper meeting ran late." She said.
"Alright that's fine. Take a seat. Okay so why don't we go around and introduce ourselves." The teacher said.
"What's the point? We already know each other." Jimmy shouted and sat back with his arms across his chest.
"Yeah you're probably right, but I don't know any of you. Okay will go clockwise. Tell us your name, grade and hobby." Manny was first.
"I'm Manny Santos, 9th and I like dancing." She said.
"Next." Miss Miller called.
"I'm Jimmy Brooks and I'm in 10th grade. I play basketball and I should be at practice right now, but unfortunately I'm here." He said and the teacher raised and eyebrow. I know how he feels I would rather be somewhere else too. Ellie was next.
"I'm Ellie Nash and I'm in 10th and I like to hang out with my friends." She said and looked at Marco.
"Oh hi everyone. I'm Marco del Rossi and I'm also in 10th. I like going to hockey games and like shopping with my best buds." He smiled.
"I'm Ashley Kerwin. I'm in 10th grade with most of these people in here and I like to sing and write." Hmm...well my stupid poems got me here in the first place.
"I'm Liberty Van Zandt and I'm in 9th. I like writing for the newspaper and stuff like that." She said and smiled.
"See that wasn't too hard was it so now since we know one another we can move on to the next step. Now let's go around and tell why we are here today?" She said in a cheery high pitch voice. Oh my god it was so annoying. You could tell the whole thing was an act. Who hired this lady?
"Um... I'm pretty sure everybody knows about me..." Manny said.
"I guess I'm here because I don't have the best relationship with my parents. I had this huge fight with my father and ended up saying 'I hate him'. Yada, yada, yada and now he thinks I need healing or just blah like that." Jimmy replied
"Oh..." The teacher said.
"Uh...I used to cut myself...but I stopped now. My counselor Ms. Suave thought I should just talk about it though and try to prevent it from happening again."What? I can't believe what I'm hearing. She never told me...Marco gasps and I look at Ellie.
"Marco it's your turn." Miss Miller .
"Yeah I know. I'm gay and I'm trying to deal with it."
"I don't know why I'm here. I don't belong here." I replied and everybody just stared at me. I'm shocked Miss Miller didn't ask me what's really wrong. Instead she just dropped and moved on to Liberty. She said she was lonely or something like that. After everybody told why they were here it grew silent and everybody just sat in their chair. Miss Miller sat at her desk and tapped her pencil on her clip board, which was driving me insane. Why the heck are we in here? I looked around the classroom observing the other students that got stuck in this hell hole. Jimmy was throwing around an imaginary basket ball, Marco was looking at his shoes, Liberty was reading what looked like a really boring book while, Manny was staring at the ceiling fan, and Ellie was doodling in a note book. I just looked at her asking myself how could she cut herself like that and find pleasure out of it?
"Okay class you are dismissed. We'll try to make more progress tomorrow." Miss Miller said and quickly packed up her stuff. I really wanted to talk to Ellie, but she rushed out the door.
"This was boring, huh?" Marco asked.
"And useless...I don't even know why I'm here. I don't belong in there. Oh yeah I remember, my mom thinks I'm depressed." I said and looked at Marco.
"Are you? You did miss three days of school right after your break-up with Craig."
"I was sick."
"Yeah sure you were." I just smiled at him.
He got really serious and said, "Poor Ellie..."
"Yeah poor Ellie. I can't believe her. She never told me. I mean I knew about her dad leaving and about her mom drinking, but I never thought it was that bad. Did she tell you?"
"No, but I always suspected something. Didn't you hear the rumors?"
"A couple, but I never thought they were true. I thought we were best friends."
"You are. We all are. I guess she was just too embarrassed to bring it up. You gotta admit that, that would be hard to tell your friends."
"Yeah, but I would've helped her go through it. I can't believe I couldn't tell. Now that I think about it, it was so obvious." I guess I just didn't want to see what was right in front of my eyes. We walked out of the school not really paying attention to where we were going.
"Are you going to go home?" Marco asked.
"I don't want to. I bet my mother has a million questions that I definitely don't want to answer." I said.
"Do you want to catch a late movie?" He asked and smiled.
"Sure it sounds like fun, but let's get a bite to eat first. I'm starving." He nodded and skipped off to the Dot. Marco and me have always been friends, but I never really have any alone time with him. Lately, he's been spending most of his with Dylan or else Ellie is always around. Maybe this will give us a chance to bond.