(a/n) Hey everyone! Me again. I am trying to update as much as I can as I will not be able to for most of the summer. Here is Ch. 12….please read and review…let me know if this is any good and if I should keep it going or not….Kudos to Fritz and Captain for reviews…So here's chapter 12….

Legolas: Maris…

Maris: [sigh] Fine, fine…LOTR is STILL not mine…as if you couldn't already guess that….

Legolas: Good girl. [gives cookie]

Maris: YAY! COOKIE! [hugs] happyfulness! And on with the story…

Cliché Ch 12-Cell Phones and Pool Parties

            Arwen's mom, thankfully, is the type of person who will ask a few questions and, upon them not being answered, will usually not press the matter. The moment we entered the car, she asked, "Hi ladies. Who are the other two?"

            Great…DOOMED! "Um…actually they are friends of mine. They wanted to meet everyone and Lizzie said that they could come so they decided to hang out at my house first and then go to Lizzie's." I finished, lamely. Please let her buy that load of crap that is only taken seriously in strange and clichéd fanfics…

            Arwen's mom nodded and actually BOUGHT THAT CRAP! COOL! So we stopped at Captain's house to get her bathing suit and some extra clothes for the two who were gazing out of the mini-van windows in shock.

            I poked Legolas. "Hello…Anybody there? Hello? Are you ok?"

            He arched an eyebrow and looked at me. "What do you mean? I am fine. I have just never seen anything like this before."

            I nodded. "Go figure."

            I pulled out my cell phone and, along with Rosie, began to download random ringtones while waiting for Captain.

            Aragorn eyed it suspiciously as it started to play "With You" by Jessica Simpson. "What is that?"

            I stopped humming. "'Member those communication things I showed you earlier?" He nodded and tried to look like he understood. "This is a smaller, portable one. Mmmkay?"

            Captain laughed as she got back into the car. "Really Maris…I couldn't find much in the way of clothing…it's probably still packed. I did find a little though. And put on Toxic…that should scare them sufficiently."

            I laughed. "No…I'll wait 'till we get to Lizzie's. She has two different versions of it. And we can dance to it. We have a better variety of guys than at the last party…"

            A large laugh filled the car. We finally reached Lizzie's.

            She bounced out of her door and raced to the car. "Where is he? Where is he? Where is Ara-?"

            I jumped out of the car and covered her mouth. "QUIET! Lizzie…it would probably be better if the whole world did NOT know that they were here!"

            She smiled. "Oh yeah. Oops. So come on in. POOL PARTY!" She smiled and pulled on the door, only to find that she couldn't open it. She tried again. Still didn't work. "Don't worry guys, this happens all the time. We'll just have to jump the fence."

            I rolled my eyes and muttered, "stupid blonde."

            We all moved over to the fence and Fritz tried to climb it. She slipped and fell over it. She got up and unlocked the fence.

            Lizzie, being the strange creature that she is, still climbed over the fence. Aragorn looked at her. "Are you alright milady?"

            She tripped over the fence and landed on him. "Yep. I'm fine." She wrapped her arms around his neck and clung to him.

            I laughed and called them over to the pool. "Lizzie! NO RAPE!"

            She pouted a little and nodded. "Fine…but if he can't get back to Arwen I get him!"

            I shuddered. "Don't worry. He WILL get back to Arwen. He'd better."

            The rest of the group was huddled around Legolas, who was seated in a beach chair and looking a little scared.

            I wandered over. "Hey guys? What's going on over here?"

            Fritz and Rosie laughed while Captain and Arwen sorted through a formidable stack of clothing. "We're finding bathing suits for hottie." Fritz giggled.

            I raised an eyebrow. "Hmm. Sure you were. Whatever." I shrugged and turned back towards Lizzie, who was trying to pull poor Aragorn toward the pile of clothing. "Hey Lizzie, you don't mind if I don't wait for you guys to get in do you?"

            She shook her head. "Nope. Have fun."

            I nodded and walked over to a chair. I pulled off my black t-shirt with the words "I scare my own family" on it and slipped out of my extremely comfortable khaki cargo shorts. (AE guys shorts) The water looked really inviting. I went up the diving board and noticed everyone watching me. "What?"

            Fritz called out, "Maris, you look so hot in that bathing suit."

            Azia made cat calls and I blushed. "Shut up, all of you." I pulled my goggles down and stepped off of the end of the board.  The water rushed up to meet me and I plunged in. When I came up again, I noticed that most of the fellowship was staring at me, again. "What?"

            Aragorn pointed at the diving board. "Is it typical for you to just step off of it like that? You could hurt yourself."

            I rolled my eyes and swam towards the shallow end. "Meh, it's fine." I noticed that he was wearing green swim trunks. "Nice suit."

            He looked confused. "Suit?"

            "Your swimsuit. It's nice. Thanks Arwen or Captain, whoever brought it. Where's Lego-my-eggo?

            A tall, pale figure in blue swim trunks blushed slightly, or was that a burn? I groaned. "Guys, you were supposed to show them how to use sunblock. Remember?"

            They nodded and Fritz laughed, "oh yeah, oops."

            I hauled myself out of the pool and grabbed my towel. "Fine." As I dried myself off, I swung my hip into Lizzie, who was standing right beside the pool. She fell in with a loud screech. "Oww." I moaned. "That was loud!"

            "MARIS! This is all your fault!" She screamed.

            I nodded. "And your point is?"

            "Argh!"

            I laughed and reached over for the sunblock. I tossed it to Fritz. "As she is the resident 'sunblock queen' she's gonna teach you all how to use it."

            The pair looked at each other and Fritz laughed. "Riiiiiight. Ok then, this is sunblock. You pour it into your hand and rub it into your skin so you don't burn and get skin cancer, but I will anyways 'cuz I don't wear it…"

            I smacked her. "Bad Fritz. Anyways." I poured some out and began rubbing it into my shoulders. "Nasty, stupid stuff. Yuck." I muttered.

            The two lost puppies looked at me. "But if it's nasty, why do we have to put it on?"

            I sighed and turned around. "Ya see the handprints on my back? Those are a burn. That's what happens when you don't use it. It hurts and peels and turns red and isn't all too pleasant. Kapische?"

            The pair nodded and both reached for the bottle. Legolas turned to me, "How do you get it on your back?"

            I laughed. "Like this." I turned to Rosie and smiled. "Would you like to do the honors?"

            She grinned impishly and spun Leggy around. She dumped a fair amount of cold sunblock onto his back, causing him to yelp and jump slightly. "That's cold!"

            "Pick up the phone bitch, pick up the phone." Rosie's cell phone went off, cutting off our laughter.

            I groaned and dove back into the pool. "Man, why does she have to call now???"

            Rosie shrugged and headed towards the swearing cell phone. "I guess she's bored."

            I returned the gesture and rolled my eyes. "So let her stay that way."

            I glanced over at Lizzie and Captain, who were helping Aragorn with his sunblock. Yuck.  Sighing, I reached towards Legolas while motioning to Azia with my eyes. "Hey Legolas? Can you come here?"

            He came over, an eyebrow raised in question. "Yes?"

            I reached up, "Give me your hand."

            He did and I pulled as Azia shoved. Legolas fell into the water with a splash. "What was that for?"

            I laughed and patted his head. "Why, to get you in the water of course."

            He laughed and began to tickle me. I sighed. "When will you ever learn? I am not all that ticklish."

            He smiled. "That doesn't stop me from trying."

            I sighed. Today just kept getting weirder and weirder.