Like taking candy and eating it in front of kids!

by Azkaban Prisoner 061088

Written by Laura, Kat and I. Rated PG because of our large imaginations. The Dark Lord comes up with new plans, and suceeds in using them Bwa haha! Slytherin Forever!

3. Meanwhile back at Hogwarts!

Okay.. the action star is not working for some reason.. Im trying my best though to make is somewhat understandable...

It begins with Harry, Hermione, and Ron wandering the nearly abandoned halls of Hogwarts

Snape Stalker: talking to other Slytherins "– And – and – I almost touched his ROBES!! gleeful squeak"

Random Slytherin: excited gasp "OH! MY! GAWD!!!!!"

Narrator/Stephanie: "Ah-hem!!! Focus on the plot line, please!"

camera shifts to Harry Potter

Harry: whistling, walking along
suddenly, he clutches his scar and screams in agony like a little baby "Ahh, my scar! The pain!!!"

Hermione: "Harry?!?"

Harry: "It burns so much, Hermione . . . and I have a huge craving for . . . picks his head up . . . CANDY."

Hermione: "Candy? Why candy?"

Harry: "It must be Voldemort, I'm sure of it!!"

Hermione: "You mean like, he's lounging around evilly, eating bonbons?"

Ron: "Mmm, frenchy-named candy . . ."

Hermione and Harry: stare, look away, and shift away

Hermione: "It's chocolate . . . usually . . . but, eh . . . voice drops to a whisper Ron fell over when brains were handed out . . ."

Harry: whispers "Indeed." voice goes back to normal "We have to do something about it! Think of the poor little children who are being deprived of their fifth cavity-causing chocolate bar!!!"

Ron: "Yeah, let's go get some chocolate!"

Hermione: "Uh, sure . . . Ron . . . whatever you want . . . "whispers to Harry "Lets go before he snaps."

They start to walk out, but are stopped by Professor Snape

Snape-stalker: "SQUEEK!" faints from excitement

Snape: hesitates, then continues in his dreamy and, might I add, extremely sexy voice –Kat – "Potter, what, may I ask, are you and your girlfriend and . . . homie . . . very . . . stupid . . . homie . . . doing?"

Harry: "Uh, sir, we were just headed out to . . ."

Hermione: - "VISIT HAGRID!!!"

Ron: "Nuh-uh, we were gonna go to -" THONK Ron is knocked out by Harry. Duh.

Snape: stare

Snape-stalker: wakes up looks at Snape drools uncontrollably

Random Slytherin: appears, and drags Snape Stalker away, to a mental facility (we hope)

Ron: wakes up and sees spider on the ground

Spider: touches Ron

Ron: "AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm contaminated!!!!! Get it off, get it off!!!! cries Mommy!!!! I need chocolate!!!! It's the only thing that'll cure me!!!!"

Harry: stares "Oh, puh-lease."

Hermione: "Actually, Harry, even though Ron may not be allergic to arachnids, he might psychologically convince himself that he will, in fact, die if he does not get chocolate."

Harry: "Well, I'm not gonna stop him."

Hermione: super evil glare of DOOOOM!!!!!

Snape: "Ms. Granger, don't stop him, it would mean one less Gryffindor to ruin my potions class."

Hermione: shifts super evil glare of DOOOOM!!!!! to Snape

Snape: bitch slaps Hermione

Hermione: bitch slaps Snape back, then realizes she has touched him and goes off to sell handshakes to the SSFCOOEG (the Severus Snape Fan Club Of Overly Excitable Girls) before frantically washing her hand

Snape: fuming with anger

Harry: runs away, dragging a traumatized Ron

Narrator/Stephanie: "FREEZE! Where did the plot line go?"

Narrator/Laura: "There was a plot line? When? looks around"

Stephanie: "Chapter one, and recently mentioned about . . . there. "points to the start of chapter "See, Harry talks about his scar and chocolate."

Laura: "Oh, right. Umm . . ."

Harry's scar burns again

Hermione: "back from selling off handshakes and disinfecting her hand Let's go before this gets any worse!!"

Stephanie: "WORSE?! How can this get any worse?! This story sucks!!!"

Kat: "Oh, come on, it's not that bad!!" grin huggles Sev doll

Stephanie: "Maybe for you . . . oi! Well, let's try this one again, okay? Harry . . . GO!"

Harry: "Yes ma'am, erm . . . clutches his scar and recites in a monotone voice Oh, ow. Won't someone help me. Please help me."

Hermione: as unenthusiastically as Harry "Oh no. What is wrong, Harry."

Ron: "I don't know, why are you asking me?!"

Hermione: "I'm not."

Ron: "Oh."

Hermione: to authors "Please, get rid of him!"

Stephanie: "Alllllllrighty then! To Aragog!" snaps fingers and Ron disappears to . . . visit . . . Aragog

Laura: "We'll check on him later. Now, show some enthusiasm, people!! And . . . action!"

Harry: runs screaming "AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! MY SCAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Laura: "Ooh, adrenaline . . . must have had some Mountain Dew . . ."

Stephanie and Kat: sitting in English class and ignoring the Phantom of the Opera discussion "SUGAR!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!"

Hermione: "Aren't we supposed to be in a story?"

Laura: "Aw, shut up and go stalk Snape or something."

Kat: "Hey, my job!!" evil glare

Laura: to Snape Don't worry, "I won't punish you by having Hermione follow you around –"

Hermione: "Hey! I'm a leader, not a follower."

Stephanie: "Shut it! I don't care what you think, Miss Sassy Pants!!"

Laura: giggle "You said 'sassy'. giggle According to our English teacher, that makes you a whore, Hermione."

All of Hogwarts: "Hear, hear."

Snape: "Sassy? Isn't that Clare?"

Stephanie:" Hey, Mr. Sassy Pants, I'm in charge here!"

Snape: "Mr. Sassy Pants? Me?!"

Stephanie: "You will be if you don't shut it!!"

Snape: "But . . . you- . . . fine."

Stephanie: "Good, I'm glad you see things my way."

Snape: "Wait, no! I refuse to do so!"

Stephanie: "Well, you have to."

Snape: "Says who?"

Stephanie: "Says me!"

Snape: "Who died and made you God?"

Stephanie: "God!"

Snape: "Liar!"

Stephanie: "Am not!"

Snape: "Are too!"

Laura: booming, authoritarian voice "ENOUGH!!! Snape, you're wrong, get over it. Stephanie, stop baiting the characters, it's mean. Hermione, your speaking privileges have been removed. Kat, let go of Snape. Now."

Snape: whispers "Yess!" pumps fish (she ment to write fist)

Laura: dies laughing "YOU SPELT FISH!!!! meep"

Stephanie: evil death glare

Snape: runs away and hides

Kat: "Nooo!!! Come back, my one true love!!" runs after him

Stephanie: smiles and death glares

Laura: "Hey, you stole my evil death glare!!!"

Stephanie: raises an eyebrow

Laura: "Yes, yes, I know the power is good, but I'm afraid you're going to have to give it back. Now."

Stephanie: faces Laura "Nuh-uh."

Harry: "SHUT UP AND FINISH THE STORY!!!!!!"

Laura: "Harry, I'll make you a deal: I won't give you an extremely stereotyped and possibly gay part if you get my mojo – I mean, glare – back."

Stephanie: "Ah, take it, I just want to work on the story! snaps and Ron is brought back. He's scared . . . as in really scared . . . because of the spiders . . . yeah."

Laura: "So, Ron, how are you doi "– points behind Ron "SPIDER!!"

Ron: "AHHHH!!!! OMG!!!!!" run, jumps, ducks, and looks behind him, all at the same time

Harry: "Ooh, talent!"

Laura: "Just kidding!"

Ron:" has heart attack"

Hermione: "That wasn't nice!!"

Laura: "Hey, you have no talking privileges, so zip it! Back to the story . . ."

RECAP! Harry's scar burns, Ron needs chocolate like a woman having PMS, and Hermione is a mute whore

Stephanie: "Sassy Pants! We can't say WHORE! Saying WHORE will get us a PG- 13 rating. She's not a WHORE!! – Oh. Damn. We can edit that out, right?"

Laura: "Yeah, sure. Or you could just leave it in there and PG-13."

Stephanie: "Alas, it is now PG-13."

Kat: "Aww . . . I can only say whore? Can't we make it R, please?"

Stephanie: "Not R, lmao. Maybe I'll leave it PG-13 even . . . poor younguns . . ."

Laura: "Yes, yes, it's PG-13, whatever, STORY TIME!!!!!"

Hermione: points towards door

Harry: "Yes, let's go!" all three leave

rotflamo.... Im sorry.. I truly am....

Please Read and Review!!