February 16th 1965

The sweet smell of chocolate hanging in the air as he passed Sugarplum's Sweetshop made Remus' mouth water. Still, he continued to skip along next to his dad as they made their way down Diagon Alley towards Gringotts bank. It was his fifth birthday in three weeks, and they were there to buy supplies for his party, so they would be going back to Sugarplum's later. Flourish and Blotts, though. Well. That was harder to resist.

'Come along, Remus,' his dad said, tugging on his hand, trying to pull him away from the shop window where he was staring at all the colourful books on display.

He tore his gaze from the window and peered up at his dad, making his eyes as wide as he could. 'Can I buy a new book, Daddy?' he asked.

His dad shook his head, but he was smiling. 'No, it's not polite to buy things for yourself right before your birthday. What if you buy something that someone's bought you as a present?'

'Oh, I didn't think about that.' He frowned. People would be sad if they bought him a present, and he already had it. He didn't want anyone to be sad on his birthday.

'Okay, I'll wait until after my birthday,' he said, before resuming his skipping along the street. He would probably get lots of new books for his birthday, anyway. Everyone knew he loved stories.

After they left the bank, Remus was standing at the top of the steps outside Gringotts, eyeing the different shops and trying to decide where to go first. There were just so many to choose from. It was hard.

'We just need to make a quick stop in the apothecary. I need some potions ingredients,' his dad said.

Remus clenched his jaw and crossed his arms. Why couldn't he do that another day? Today was about the important task of party shopping. By the time they reached the shop, Remus was pouting. He knew he was pouting, and he knew it was silly, but he couldn't seem to stop.

His dad approached the counter to speak to the assistant, and Remus wandered off to look around. The potions ingredients were stacked on the shelves, some in jars or bottles, others were loose in trays. He couldn't stop looking at them, they were all so interesting.

Some of them were disgusting, like the big jar of gloopy pale green liquid that made him feel sick when he looked at it. He hurried away from that one. Others were scary, like the display of enormous claws. He shuddered at the thought of the massive creature they must have come from.

A few of the ingredients were beautiful though, and he stared at these the longest. There was a tiny vial of shimmering silver dust that he particularly liked the look of. He wanted to pick it up. He wanted to take the top off and poke his finger in to see what it felt like, but he knew he shouldn't and heroically stopped himself. It took a great deal of effort, and he was feeling pleased with his self-control when he rounded the corner into the last aisle at the back of the shop and spotted a boy who looked to be about his own age, huddled in the corner.

'Hey, are you okay?' Remus asked, walking over to the boy and squatting in front of him, attempting to see his face behind the curtain of wavy black hair.

The boy glanced up at his words. His eyes were red and puffy; he'd been crying. Remus felt a weird ache in his throat and swallowed it down. The boy stared at him, and Remus stared back. Behind the puffiness, his eyes were the same shade of silver as the glimmering powder he'd been so enchanted by a moment earlier.

'No. I did something bad, and I'm going to be in big trouble when I get home,' the boy said.

'What did you do?'

'I was running around in the street,' the boy said with a sigh. 'I know I'm not supposed to, but I can't stop myself. I just like running, you know?'

Remus frowned. That didn't sound bad to him. He ran around in the street all the time, and his parents didn't tell him to stop.

'Why's that bad?'

'Because running isn't dini… dingi… dignified,' the boy said, stumbling over the long word.

'Oh,' Remus said. That really hadn't made anything clearer. He didn't even know what that word meant. What could he do to make him feel better? Having fun always made him feel better when he was sad. When his parents punished him for doing something bad by sending him to his room, he would play with his toys to cheer himself up. Perhaps he could invite the boy to his party. That might work.

'Listen, I'm having a birthday party in a few weeks. You can come if you want. I'll ask my dad to speak to your parents.'

The boy grinned, and it lit up his entire face. He was beautiful when he smiled.

'I'd like that,' he said, sounding excited. Then his smile disappeared, and he looked down at his knees again. 'But Mother would never let me go.'

'Well, we can ask. You never know,' Remus said, shrugging. 'I'm Remus. What's your name?'

Before the boy could answer, a terrifying-looking woman strode around the corner, interrupting their conversation. She spotted Remus and the other boy and scowled at them.

'There you are, you little brat. What do you think you're doing running off to talk to filth like that?' she asked, curling her lip at Remus before turning back to face the boy on the floor. 'You're in for it now. I'll teach you to behave like a proper heir if it kills you.'

She marched over to the two boys and hauled his new friend to his feet by his arm. The boy's eyes went wide, and his face paled. A wave of heat flooded Remus' body, and he shot to his feet and kicked the woman being mean to his friend.

'You leave him alone!' he shouted.

The woman whipped around, still maintaining a tight grip on the boy's arm, and shot Remus a venomous look.

'How dare you touch me, you dirty little freak? How dare you put your filth on me?' she hissed.

Remus cowered away from her as she stalked towards him.

'Mother, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to talk to him. He just showed up. Let's go home. There's… there's too much filth around here,' the boy said, shooting Remus an apologetic look from behind his mum's back.

He understood. The boy was trying to distract her, so she would leave Remus alone, and he didn't mean the words he said. He was saying what she wanted to hear. Remus did the same thing sometimes.

The woman sent one last scowl his way and marched out of the shop, dragging the boy with her as he stumbled and tried to get his feet beneath him. Remus never even found out his name.

His dad found him moments later, and they enjoyed a few hours shopping for party supplies, spending quite some time in Sugarplum's much to his delight, and he soon pushed the memory of the boy to the back of his mind. When their shopping was complete, they headed home via the floo at the Leaky Cauldron. He hated floo travel. It made him feel sick and dizzy, and the ash always made him sneeze, but it was a small price to pay for the party, so he didn't complain.

When they emerged from the fireplace, his mum gave him a hug. 'Did you find everything you wanted, sweetheart?'

'Everything except a new book. Daddy wouldn't let me get one. He said I might get some for my birthday.'

'I agree with Daddy,' his mum said, smiling at him with twinkling eyes. 'Why don't you put everything away and wash up for dinner? It'll be ready soon.'

'Okay, Mummy!' he said, already halfway to his room at the back of the cottage.

The thought of food lifted his mood, and he rushed to get everything done so he could eat. The excessive speed made him clumsy though, and he tripped, sending his packages flying and making him bang his chin on the floor. His chin throbbed with pain, making his eyes water and his lower lip wobble, but he blinked back the tears.

He would be five soon, too old to cry. Picking himself up, he surveyed the mess. His tumble had scattered the packages throughout the room. He cleaned up, piling his party supplies in the corner and padded to the bathroom where he washed his hands before following the delicious scent of chicken and chips to the kitchen.

After dinner, the family moved to the living room for the evening. His mum and dad curled up on the sofa together to watch TV. Remus sat alone in the big armchair with a picture book. He couldn't read much yet, but he liked to study the pictures and try to work out the words in their context.

'Time for bed, sweetheart,' his mum said.

Remus looked up from his book. It couldn't be bedtime already; he'd only been there a few minutes. But when he glanced at the window, it was dark outside. He'd been so focused on his book he hadn't even noticed.

'Just a few more minutes, Mum. Please?' Remus said, pulling the same face he made earlier when he asked his dad for a new book. Sadly, that face didn't work on his mum any more than it did on his dad.

'Bed,' she said in that tone he knew meant there was no point in arguing. He scowled but obeyed, putting his book away in the bookcase before padding to his room to fetch his pyjamas for his bath.

Freshly bathed and wrinkly fingered from the hot water, Remus chose a book for bedtime reading, climbed into bed and snuggled down under the covers. His mum sat down next to him and opened the book, Hogwarts: A History.

'Are you sure this is the book you want, sweetheart? It's not very entertaining,' his mum said with a sigh.

'I'm sure.' He cuddled up to her so he could see the pages. 'I want to know everything about Hogwarts before I go there.'

She gave in and read the book to him for half an hour before announcing lights-out-time and telling him to go to sleep. After kissing him on the forehead, she turned the light off and left the room, leaving the door ajar on her way out.

Remus tried hard to go to sleep. Really, he did, but he couldn't stop thinking about his upcoming birthday. He had been super excited before the shopping trip that day, but now he was almost crazy with it. The light from the full moon made it worse. It lit the room up just enough to make the party supplies piled in the corner visible.

He turned over to force himself to stop looking at the packages, but the new position meant he could see the window and a glimpse of the moon between the curtains. The moon was so beautiful. The stars were pretty too, but he liked the moon best. He listened hard and heard his parents murmuring in the living room, so he crept out of bed and dragged his chair over to the window to stand on it.

Remus stared up at the moon, mesmerised for a few minutes before he caught movement out of the corner of his eye. He looked down, frowning into the darkness. What had he seen? Was there something moving in the garden?

After a moment, a large dog stalked out of the tree line. He loved dogs even more than looking at the moon. The excitement of seeing one, combined with his excitement about the upcoming birthday party, pushed him over the edge. He lost all sense of reason and opened the window.

The fresh scent of the night air rushed into the room along with a blast of cold, hitting him in the face, but he ignored it. He leant precariously out of the window, arm outstretched, as he called, 'Here, doggy. Good boy.'

The dog stalked closer, belly near the ground, ears back and growling quietly. He leant further, and when the dog came close enough that he could almost pet it, he said, 'It's okay. I won't hurt you.'

At those words, the dog leapt up, wrapped its jaw around his upper arm and dragged him out of the window. He screamed. His blood pounded in his ears, and intense pain shot through his arm and shoulder as the dog pulled him across the garden.

'Remus!' his mum's voice shouted, sounding far away.

Still screaming, he twisted his head to look back at the house. She was standing at his bedroom window, her eyes wide and her hand covering her mouth. His dad was just stepping up behind her. Remus' attention returned sharply to the dog when it suddenly let go of his arm and stood over him with its front legs on either side of his chest, leering down at his terrified face.

The dog raised one paw and ran its claws down his chest in a single, smooth action, tearing his skin open from his throat to his navel and leaving burning pain in its wake. Everything went black.

When Remus awoke, there was nothing but pain. He whimpered. Then he moaned. Eventually, he just screamed.

'You're okay, Remus,' his mum said. 'I'm right here. You're going to be okay.' Her voice cracked on the last word, and she sniffed.

'Mummy?' he said, but nothing more.

At the sound of his scream, a healer rushed into the room and reapplied the enchantment to make him sleep.

He woke on and off several times over the next few weeks. The healers at St. Mungo's kept him asleep as much as they could, but they could do nothing for the pain, and its intensity occasionally broke through the powerful magic meant to keep him comatose. They applied powdered silver mixed with dittany twice a day to stop the wounds from bleeding. Other than that, they could only wait for the lycanthropy to spread enough for the regeneration to kick in. No cure existed for the disease. Unfortunately for Remus, the regeneration wouldn't happen until a few days before the next full moon.

Many of the healers secretly wondered why the boy's parents insisted on treatment. They thought it would be kinder to let the child die of his wounds. Such a young child having to go through the monthly torture of transformation didn't bear thinking about. All the healers went home after their shift and hugged their own children tightly, thanking Merlin they were safe.

On the morning of March 15th, two days before the next full moon and five days after Remus' fifth birthday, Remus' wounds finally closed, and the healers allowed him to wake properly. They lifted the enchantment that kept him asleep before slipping out of the room to allow the family some privacy.

'Mummy?' Remus said, blinking his eyes open.

'I'm right here, sweetheart,' his mum said, reaching out her hand to him.

'Don't touch him,' his dad hissed. 'He could infect you.'

Her head whipped around at his voice, and she jerked her hand away.

'Right. Sorry.' She turned back to Remus. 'How're you feeling, sweetheart?'

'Poorly.'

He was lying in an unfamiliar bed with white sheets. The walls, floor, and ceiling were also white. His mother was sitting in a hard-backed chair with beige cushions, and there was a faint beeping sound coming from somewhere.

'Am I in the hospital?'

His mum nodded. 'Do you remember what happened?'

The memories were foggy, as if they were hidden behind a thick haze, and he had to think hard to come up with an answer.

'There was a dog outside... I opened the window... It hurt me?'

His mum sighed and glanced at his dad before looking at the floor and taking a deep breath.

'It wasn't a dog; it was a wolf. A werewolf.' She paused. 'Do you understand what that means, sweetheart?'

Remus shivered. He did understand what that meant. But he didn't want to understand. Because if he understood what he thought he understood, then that would mean, that would mean...

'Am I a werewolf now?' he whispered, before cringing away from the answer, pulling the blanket up over his head to hide his face from it.

'I'm so sorry, sweetheart.'

But he didn't believe it. Didn't want to believe it. Because if he became a werewolf, then...

'Will it hurt?' he mumbled into the sheet still covering his face.

His mum made a funny noise and sniffed. She breathed in and out, twice, before answering.

'Yes, I'm so sorry, Remus, but I won't lie to you. It will hurt. A lot. And you will need to be so very, very brave because we won't be able to be with you when you... when it happens. But we'll be there for you after, and we'll take care of you and make you better every time. I promise.'

Remus's heart was beating painfully in his chest, and his hands were wet where they clutched the blanket. He was a werewolf now, and it was going to hurt. There was nothing he could do to change it. The full moon would come no matter what, and there was no point hiding under a blanket like a baby. He took a deep breath and pulled the blanket away to look at his mum. He was a big boy, and big boys didn't hide from things. Big boys were brave, like Gryffindors and… Would he still be able to go to school?

'Mummy,' he said, a cold weight sitting in his stomach. 'Will I still be able to go to Hogwarts?'

His mum looked down at her hands. 'No, honey. You won't. I'm so sorry.'

That final blow was too much for Remus. With his dreams shattered, he rolled over, buried his face in his pillow, and sobbed.

March 17th

Miserable. That was the best word Remus could think of to describe how he felt. He was lying on the sofa in his living room, and every bone in his body ached. That night would be his first full moon as a werewolf, and he had spent the last hour listening to his parents clean out his bedroom in preparation. Before they sent him home, the healer at St Mungo's explained to him that his wolf would be small, to begin with, only a cub really, and it wouldn't be strong enough to do much damage for a while. So his mum said he could transform in his room. According to the healer, the wolf would only 'live' during the full moon and would only grow a day in every month. So it would be several years before the wolf would be big enough to escape.

'Okay, honey, the room's ready, and moonrise is in an hour. Let's make you comfortable,' his mum said as she came through the door.

Remus jerked and looked up. He wasn't ready. He needed more time to prepare, but there was no more time. As much as he wanted it, his mum couldn't pause the moon. There was no use fighting, crying or running away. He needed to be brave. But he didn't feel brave. He just felt scared. When he glanced up at his mum, he could tell she'd been crying. Her eyes were red and puffy, and he could smell the salt in her tears. He could pretend to be brave. For her. So he pulled himself up, every aching bone protesting the action, but he refused to wince. He walked, back straight, and face determined, to his bedroom to await the moon. Lying down on his newly bare mattress and hiding his shaking hands in his armpits, he faced his mum.

'I have to leave now, sweetheart, but Daddy and I will be in the next room the whole time, and we'll come for you in the morning. You are not alone, baby. I love you,' she said.

'I love you too. Mummy. It's okay, I'll be okay,' he said, trying hard to pretend to be brave. He wouldn't let her see how scared he really was, but he desperately wanted a hug. She turned and left, closing the door firmly and locking it. He was alone.

He curled up into a ball and shivered. The aching in his bones was growing worse and spreading to his muscles.

As time passed, his skin tingled, sharp pains shot through his body beginning in his shoulders. Remus moaned. His shoulder bones snapped and reformed into a different shape, and he screamed. His hips changed next. Then his arms and legs, all at the same time.

The pain hurt beyond anything he'd ever imagined possible. His screams sounded louder, deeper and more animalistic. His fingers and toes shortened, and long claws erupted from the tips, burning and stabbing as they grew. He stared at them through blurry eyes, horrified. His face melted and bubbled and moulded itself into a new form, then his screams turned to howls as his voice box morphed. His spine lengthened, forming itself into a skeletal tail, his skin stretched to accommodate it. His new body itched all over, and he instinctively scratched at it, but his claws ripped his flesh, and he howled again at this new pain. Coarse fur sprouted from every hair follicle, covering him from head to toe.

Then finally, once the transformation was complete, his consciousness fled from the pain, and the wolf took control.

The wolf cub blinked his eyes open and glanced around before climbing to his feet to investigate his world.

He sniffed the air and smelled something delicious that made his mouth water. He followed the scent to an area of the wall that looked a different colour than the rest.

The delicious scent drifted through a small gap at the bottom of that part of the wall.

He scratched at the floor furiously, tearing it up, but the soft material covered something harder, and he couldn't break through it. He started head-butting the wall, trying to break it down, but it wouldn't budge, and it made him dizzy, so he stopped. He sat back on his haunches and howled in frustration.

He wanted whatever smelled so good, but he couldn't reach it. Furious, he tore around the room, scratching at the ground and the walls and everything else in his world. When nothing remained to destroy, he scratched and bit himself, but the taste of blood only made him angrier. Hours later, exhausted and bloody, he curled up to sleep.

Remus awoke in the morning and groaned; he hurt everywhere.

He took a deep breath, and the smell of blood hit him hard. Rolling over onto his back, he blinked his eyes open and examined his surroundings. The wolf had destroyed his bedroom. It had ripped up the carpet and torn it apart, scattering the remains around the room like blue snow. The wooden floor, revealed under the ruined carpet, sported deep scratches, as did the walls and door. The beast had knocked his desk over but otherwise, left it alone. The chest of drawers still stood but was covered in the same deep scratches as the rest of the room. He lay on what remained of his mattress, which the wolf had dragged from the bed and ripped apart with teeth and claws.

If this was the result of a cub, what would the full-grown wolf be like? He shuddered.

'Mummy?' he tried to shout, but his voice came out rough and croaky.

His mum must have been waiting right outside the door for a sign that it was safe though, because he heard the key turn in the lock the moment he spoke. The door opened slowly, and his mum stuck her head in and gasped. At the state of the room or at him, he didn't know. She walked into the room but didn't get too close.

'Remus?' she said. 'How're you feeling, honey?'

She looked down at him, frowning, and her eyes glistened with tears. He didn't want her to be sad.

'I'm okay, Mummy,' he lied. 'Just a bit tired.'

'You're covered in blood, baby. I'll fetch Daddy to fix you up, and then you can sleep.'

She left the room but quickly returned with his dad. He crouched down next to Remus and waved his wand.

'Tergeo,' he said, and siphoned the blood away. Most of his wounds had already healed, but a few of the deeper ones remained open. His dad bandaged these with another wave of his wand. When he finished, he left without saying a word. His mum watched him walk away until he had disappeared through the door, then looked back at Remus.

'Are you okay to sleep there, honey? Or do you want to come out and lie on the sofa?'

Why was his dad not speaking to him? Was he mad about the mess? It wasn't his fault. He shifted, and a wave of pain swept through his body, making him wince. There was no way he could stand, never mind walk to the sofa.

'I'll stay here, Mummy. I'm so tired,' he said and closed his eyes just to make the point, but he fell asleep almost straight away.