Stop Petting Me!
Chapter Four – Harry's second scar and a football playing old lady
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Disclaimer: I own nothing, I don't even think I have a wallet anymore. Suing me would be pointless...It would just cost you money. However I could pay you in cookies if you'd really like to sue me
Chapter Summary: Last chapter this is! Don't look so happy. Uh yeah, well, there's an old lady and Harry may develop another scar. Enjoy!
You know, they say an Animgaus' from reflects and represents the person's personality. Lord I'm an idiot sometimes for the things I get myself into.
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Three years passed, Remus got his first grey hair, I happened to be the unlucky one to discover it. He thought I was just being a git and set his 'crazy-legs' hex on me which sent me dancing around the dormitory and caused me to rip the curtains off his bed and break a window before he could remember the counter-curse. Honestly, 'finite' is not that hard to remember, I think he just enjoyed watching me dance around like an idiot. Peter set James' hair on fire again in Astronomy which is another unsolved mystery of the world seeing as how we didn't even have our wands out. Well, he did always show pyromaniac tendencies.
And then, a dark, dark day for all humanity came. James bet me I couldn't go one month without using my patented puppy dog look on anyone or I had to shave my head. So he framed me in Transfiguration later on that week. He decided it would be funny to sit behind me, light a firework, and levetate it so that it looked like I threw it. McGonagall was so angry, it looked like death or the puppy-dog look for me. I chose the latter. I forgot about the bet and it worked, she let me off with 10 points from Gryffindor instead of killing me. The other three cornered me in the dormortory and shaved my head. The next day girls cried, and everyone wore black. Funny isn't it? My last name is black, my hair is black, and once it was gone, everyone wore black for two weeks. Well, more than they do anyways, it kind of hard not to with Hogwart's uniforms I suppose.
Finally, in our fifth year, we did it. We developed our definite forms. I was first to do it (being the master of transfiguration that I was) and lo-and-behold. I was a dog. Not something scaly like I had hoped, but a huge, fuzzy DOG! Everyone likes to pet dogs, a lot. It caused me anguish, much mental anguish. James became a stag, lucky bugger. Girls think they're "pretty" and no one wants to touch it for fear of being gored by the humongous antlers. Peter was a rat...gross, no one in their right minds would want to touch one of those nasty things.
(Ron glares at Sirius)
All I could think to myself was "God, what possessed me to become a dog? I'm going to be a nutter for the rest of my life" The first full moon we planned went of without a hitch, as did many others after that, but in our sixth year we got too adventurous for our own good. We went closer to Hogsmeade than we ever had before. A little girl was playing in the snow one night as we were roaming and as soon as she lay eyes on me she tackled me into the snow and had me pinned for a full fifteen minutes, petting my ears with that creepy glazed over look on her face. I thought to myself was
"When did little girls get so strong?? Why can I not get up? The snow is really cold you twit let me up!"
And then she wanted to pet Remus-of-the-crazy-mind and so Peter bit her and we all ran.
The last two years of school came and went far too quickly, as did Remus' grey hairs and the mysteries of Peter lighting James' hair on fire.
And now, I wander the streets as a stray. Lovable of course so no one tries to get rid of me or attract too much attention, but all around annoyed at people. I can't go five minutes with out someone trying to call me over, I've learned well not to accept food bribes as they normally result in my being trapped in a house for a few days. Whatever happened to the saying "if you see a large strange dog, ignore it and maybe it wont eat you?" Now it seems to be more "if you see a large strange dog, tackle it and pull it's ears." Idiots...
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Ron, Harry, and Hermoine stared in silence as Sirius finished his "harrowing" tale, barley keeping the grins off their faces. Who knew he was such a nutter? Obviously being alone except for a Hippogriff would make you go a smidgen stir-crazy, but this was a long-lasting nuttiness. Maybe Snuffles should see a phsychiatrist.
"Oh. H-how tragic for you" Hermione stuttered through her giggles. She was still sitting beside him, and as she reached for the brush Sirius has knocked to the ground he jumped like he had sat on something sharp.
"After my tragic past! You still have the nerve to-to weild that monstrosity at me?!?" He cried, pointing at the brush in Hermione's hand. She jumped so badly she threw the brush into the air and it smacked into Harry's forehead with a resounding thud.
"Oi! Are you trying to give me another scar?" he yelled. During this, Ron was sitting doubled-up on the floor, laughing like a maniac. Finally, he caught his breath long enough to speak.
"You're all mental! All of you!"
"Quiet you." Sirius snapped (clearly he was having a spaz day) "You should be getting back up to the castle, I'll come with you. Pet me and you'll have no fingers"
A second later, the bear-dog was bounding out of the cave mouth. Hermione and the boys ran after him, leaving the food and hygiene products scattered across the floor. Just as they were leaving the last few buildings of Hogsmeade, a frail old woman popped out from behind a waste bin and football tackled Sirius into the alley across. Harry, Ron and Hermione took no notice.
In the dark alley, the old woman had Sirius pinned with her cane. All he could think was...
"My God! Does this woman take steroids?! No, stop it! Must get aw-hey, that feels nice. Ah! My foot is doing the thumping thing! Make it stop! Make it stop! STOP PETTING ME!"
Poor Sirius...
Well, thats it! The end of Sirius' hairy troubles. Thanks a bunch to everyone who reviewed. Actually, please review this chapter too and tell me what you though of it. I'm thinking of something like this for all four of the Marauders but I haven't thought of life traumas for them all yet...R&R please!!