Chapter 3- Emotional Explanations

The reality that the second war against Lord Voldemort had finally begun weighed heavily in everyone's hearts as the six friends made their way out of the castle and towards the lake. Dumbledore had not minced his words when he had given his brief, yet powerful speech at breakfast this morning. Life as they knew was about to change, and not for the better.

Ron and Hermione took the lead, followed by Ginny and Neville, and then Harry and Draco. The weather was quite favorable despite the fact that it was already late autumn. No one said much of anything as they strolled through the tall grasses. Unfortunately, there was too much that needed to be said, but no one knew how to begin.

Harry had followed the small gathering towards the lake completely lost in his thoughts. The war and his place in the grand scheme of things clouded what was going on around him. He was only aware of the sound of the crunching leaves as they walked on in silence. Having stared at his feet for most of their journey, he was surprised at the beauty around him when he finally lifted his head to take in his surroundings. He had been at Hogwarts for six years now, but he could not remember a day in which the surrounding landscape looked more beautiful. Maybe it was because he was looking at the world with fresh eyes. Near death experiences certainly have a way of altering your perspective about the world around you.

The sun was still fairly low in the sky, and it gave off a soft warm glow through the tops of the trees. Many of the trees still had their leaves and Harry was astonished to find himself surrounded by fiery reds, yellows, and oranges. The enormous trees swayed gently in the breeze, and their fluid motion made it seem as if the fall foliage was dripping off the branches of the ancient beings. The surface of the lake sparkled in the dim light of the rising sun, and its reflective surface softly mirrored the surrounding landscape like some abstract painting.

Harry was about to comment about the beautiful scenery when he heard Ron add his own thoughts to the situation. "Wow," he said dumbly as he hugged Hermione to his side. Harry sniggered at his brilliant and wordy explanation of the view and genuinely smiled at him.

They walked a little further until they found a favorite spot beneath an old maple tree that grew close to the water's edge. Neville and Ginny sat with their backs against the tree holding hands. Hermione and Ron plopped down on the brittle grass to their right. Harry slowly sat down to the left of Ginny and Neville, but a little farther away. Not really understanding why, he felt the need to distance himself somewhat. Draco decided to sit behind Harry so that his legs straddled him. He then gathered him in his arms. At first, Harry wanted to resist the affection, but he was so comfortable in his warmth that he felt himself resting against the taller boy in appreciation. The others noticed their obvious display of affection but said nothing. The uneasy silence continued as the small group stared out across the lake.

The tension was suddenly broken by the sounds of Draco's raspy voice. "I suppose that you all want to know what happened," he said as he cleared his throat. His eyes were still staring out across the water. Harry stiffened slightly in his arms when he realized what he was talking about, but remained quiet, waiting to hear what his beloved was going to say next.

Hermione and Ron looked at Ginny and Neville with a worried glance. They finally came to some decision silently and nodded at Draco to continue.

Draco sighed deeply as if to prepare himself to begin to tell his tale. "Do you know about the spell I used to protect Harry from the killing curse?"

Hermione nodded, "Yes, Professor Snape explained that it was a soul mate spell called Solara Amicus. He said that there was some research regarding it that was started by Harry's mother, but no one knew for sure what would happen after the spell was cast. It was believed that once the spell was said, the two bodies would both go into a temporary coma like state, while their souls were thrown into some kind of limbo. Death was prevented by the souls drawing strength from one another."

Harry and Draco both smiled at her ability to recall in exact detail what Snape had said about the spell. "That's right," said Draco. "Lily Potter's preliminary research was correct about what happened to us. We were somehow taken to Limbo, if that is what you call it."

"Really? What was it like?" asked Ron curiously. Draco looked away after the red head's outburst. Hermione slugged him in the upper arm for his blatant rudeness.

"It's alright. It's just hard to talk about. That's all," the blonde said looking back at his new friends.

"You don't have to Draco, its okay," said Ginny reassuringly.

"No, I need to, and I think you all deserve the right to know," said Draco.

Harry could feel his heartbeat quicken as he realized that Draco was going to reveal their experience in that horrible place. Harry carefully turned his head so that he could look up at the boy behind him. He pleaded with his eyes not to say anything about what happened to him. Draco looked down at him and smiled softly. He then kissed Harry on the forehead at whispered gently in his ear, "Don't worry, love, your story is not my place to tell."

Relieved by Draco's thoughtful comment, Harry turned back around and rested against his strong chest once again. Knowing that his experience wouldn't be revealed he waited to hear Draco's side of the story for the first time. Up until now, Harry never grasped at the idea that Draco had somehow experienced something other than what he knew about.

Draco stared out towards the lake again and began his tale. "I really had no idea what was happening after I cast the spell. I remember a bright light, but really nothing more. At first, I was really confused by my surroundings. I awoke to find myself in a cell of some kind and I had no idea how I cam to be there. It took me a while to realize that I was actually in the dungeon below Malfoy Manor. I was covered in bruises, and I was very afraid. After a long while, my father appeared and I ran towards him in relief thinking that he had come to save me. Seeing the anger in his face I quickly realized that instead of being rescued, I was being punished. It wasn't until later that I remembered my godfather telling me that we may have to come to terms with all the negative things that have happened in our lives and choose to live again. At the time, I truly believed that I was eleven years old again desperately trying to seek my father's approval. Apparently I had been sent to a time in my life in which I felt particularly helpless. My father had always been cruel to me, but never to the extent at which he went to during the Christmas holidays during my first year."

Draco paused at this point in the story as if he was reliving that horrific event. Harry kept his eyes focused on the lake's reflective surface. He desperately wanted to know what happened to Draco, but he knew that his experiences may unlock some of the memories in Harry's mind that he wasn't willing to acknowledge yet.

"Draco, are you okay?" asked Ginny who looked quite concerned for the two boys. Harry could feel him nod above hi. He felt Draco's arms tighten slightly around him as he continued.

"I didn't understand what was happening to me. It felt like déjà vu or something reliving that awful memory. My father was not pleased with my first semester at Hogwarts and he beat me with in an inch of my life, on Christmas Eve no less. I was imprisoned in the dungeon below the manor while the rest of my family was celebrating the holidays," he said with disdain in his voice.

I can certainly relate to that, thought Harry as he reflected on his own experiences of being locked in the cupboard under the stairs.

"Draco, what happened to cause your father to punish you so severely?" asked Hermione carefully. Ron looked at her surprised to hear her speak after being quiet for so long.

Draco gave another deep sigh and looked over at the others uncertainly.

'You don't have to say, Draco, its okay," said Ron.

"No, it's not that. Its just I have tried so hard to change myself from what I was that I would hate to bring this up... Remember during our first year when I caught the three of you out of your dorm after hours?"

Ron and Hermione nodded at him, unsure where the rest of his explanation going. "Yeah, we were visiting Hagrid at the time," said Ron.

"I hated following my father's every order, but I had no other choice at the time. I was unable to win Harry's friendship so I was instead forced to become his enemy. At the time, my father had brainwashed me into believing that that was how things were meant to be. Well, my mission while at Hogwarts was to find a way to expel Harry from school. My father believed that he would be more vulnerable to capture away from Dumbledore's watchful eye. I failed miserably in that attempt, and I even found myself attending detention in the Forbidden Forest with you lot. He also learned that Hermione was doing much better than me in all our classes despite the fact that I studied endlessly. I was somehow dishonoring the Malfoy name by not being the top in our class. My father was furious to say the least… I apologized over and over for my stupidity over being caught out after hours. I pleaded with him to understand that I would try harder next time… but my father wouldn't listen. He just kept hitting and kicking me over and over until I lost consciousness… "

Harry listened quietly as a few small tears streamed down his face, but no one seemed to notice as they were completely wrapped in Draco's story. He knew all to well what if felt like to be treated in the manner, but he never suspected that it ever got this bad for Draco. He silently wept for the pain that his boyfriend must have experienced while he was growing up.

"I am sorry to hear how awful your father treated you. Are you alright, Draco?" asked Hermione. Harry watched out of the corner of his eye as Ron placed a comforting arm around Hermione's shoulders to calm her worries.

"I am now. I laid there broken and in pain what seemed like forever trying to figure out what was happening. I was vaguely aware that something was wrong with the situation, but I couldn't quite put my finger on it. Oddly enough it was something my father said about you Ron that snapped me back to reality."

Ron's jaw dropped in shock. "Really? What did he say?"

"Something along the lines of…'You should be grateful that you are a Malfoy and not some pathetic Weasley!' But I remembered a time in my life when I did wish that I was Weasley and it triggered a whole series of memories from this summer," explained Draco.

"You wished that you were a Weasley?" asked Neville who clearly looked dumbfounded. He was still adjusting to the fact that they were all friends now and the thought of Draco and Ron getting along was difficult to enough to comprehend.

"Yeah, I still do sometimes…, " Draco said as his voiced trailed off.

"What? Why?" said Ginny and Ron together.

"Because I am jealous of your family and how well you all get along. I wished I had brothers or sisters like you do. And I wish that I had a mother and father that cared for me the way your parents care for you."

"I understand what you mean, but mum and dad love you and Harry a great deal. You are a part of our family," said Ron knowingly.

"Thank you for the comment. I really do appreciate it, but it's not the same," said Draco with some sadness in his voice.

Harry understood what Draco was trying to say and turned around in his arms and gave him a small kiss on the cheek. Draco smiled warmly, but then looked alarmed when he saw the tell tale signs of the tears that had streaked down his face only moments earlier.

"Are you alright Harry?" he asked with concern.

Harry turned around his arms so that he could rest against him once again. Keeping his eyes on the steadying waters he nodded. He needed to know what else had happened to Draco before they found one another so he asked him to continue. "You said that your father's comment about the Weasleys made you remember everything from last summer. What happened next?" asked Harry quietly.

"Well, like I said, I began to remember everything with greater and greater clarity until it all started making sense. I knew that what was happening to me wasn't real so I started to search the cell for a way out. Finding no escape, I became frustrated and I started to get upset. I kept thinking about how this couldn't be happening. I had run away from my father and I didn't intend to return. I wanted my life back. I didn't care about everything that had happened as long as I could live again… Then all of a sudden, the ceiling and walls of the cell began to melt away into nothingness. Oddly enough, I then found myself on a beautiful deserted island in the middle of the Caribbean."

"How did you know you were in the Caribbean?" asked Ginny curiously.

"I guess I kind of assumed that's where I was because it looked like the islands that I loved when my family used to vacation there. It was a very surreal experience. I no longer had any injuries from the beating my father gave me and an incredible feeling of peace came over me. I walked along the beach exploring the coast. I even discovered a small hut on the northern shore that was filled with everything someone would need in order to survive on an island all alone."

"It sounds beautiful, Draco. I am glad that you didn't have to stay in that hell hole with your father any longer," said Hermione.

"Yeah, well I knew that in the back of my mind something was still wrong."

"What do you mean?" asked Ron.

"Well, I had stood up against my father and chose to walk away from that way of life. I also chose to live again despite all the painful memories, but I was still stuck in Limbo. So I began to think about everything. I had everything I could ever want on that island… except…"

"Harry," said the others, nodding in understanding.

"There was something I was still meant to do, and I knew that it had to do with Harry. I grew frantic with worry because I couldn't figure out how I was going to leave the island and get to Harry. In the end I fell back against the sand sobbing and screamed Harry's name. It's hard to explain, but I was then somehow transported to Harry's location in Limbo…"

Draco looked down at the small boy in his arms sadly. This was the point in the story in which he knew the others would never know what happened. He hugged Harry closer and sighed deeply.

"I was able to find Harry… and together we chose to come back…" Draco smiled at his new friends hoping that they would have enough sense to know that Harry was in no way prepared to talk about what happened to him. They each looked at him in a way that communicated that they understood Harry's wishes. There was another long silence until someone finally spoke again.

"You were right, Neville," said Ginny quietly. Neville nodded at her in understanding.

"What? What do you mean?" asked Draco.

"He knew that if you were both truly soul mates that you would somehow find one another and bring each other back to us," she replied.

"Really?" asked Draco looking surprised.

"Yeah," said Neville. "Anyone can plainly see how much you two care for each other. If anyone could bring Harry back to life, it would be you Draco."

Draco blushed slightly at the heart warming comment as Harry smiled at his friends.

"I hope you both know what a scare you two gave us. We are glad that you both survived and we are going to do everything in our power to ensure that nothing like that ever happens again," said Ron.

"Thanks Ron," said Harry quietly as he continued to stare out across the lake.

Several hours later, Harry and Draco found themselves alone in the Room of Requirement. They were sitting next to one another on the plush couch attempting to get caught up with their studies.

Harry had accomplished almost nothing in the few hours they had been there. His thoughts kept drifting back to what had happened in Limbo. Memories that he had long forgotten about were now lingering closer and closer to his conscious mind. He had somehow repressed some of the more horrific memories that occurred when he was a young child, but now he was able to recall every detail with greater clarity.

"Harry, are you alright? You have been pretty quiet today," said Draco.

Harry was snapped out of his silent reverie at the sound of Draco's voice. "Yeah, I'm fine. Don't worry; I just have a lot on my mind."

"Okay," said Draco, but he looked like he wasn't really sure.

"Hey, Draco," said Harry.

"Yes?"

"I never knew that it got that bad for you at home. I am sorry that you ever had to go through any of that."

"Don't be sorry. It's not your fault. Besides I ran away from my father so that I could escape that way of life… Just like you did." Harry knew that Draco added that last comment in the hopes to get him to understand that he was not alone in his experiences.

Harry merely nodded, but said nothing more. He had run away from the Dursleys, but he still felt like a coward for allowing them to hurt him like that for so long. He always believed that he deserved the punishments that he got. Had anything really changed?

"It's getting late," said Draco looking down at his watch. "We should head back to our dorms. We both could use the sleep."

"You are probably right," said Harry. To be honest, sleep was the furthest thing from his mind despite his body's aching protests. They gathered up their things and Draco walked Harry back to the portrait that led to the entrance of the Gryffindor common room.

"I wish you could come up with me. I loved sleeping next to you last night," Harry said softly.

"I do too… maybe we will again someday… goodnight…"

"Goodnight…"

Draco embraced Harry warmly and kissed him lightly on the lips. He looked deeply into Harry's eyes as if looking for some reassurance that the dark haired boy would be okay after he was gone. Unable to read his expression he pressed his lips against Harry's temple and whispered, "I love you," into his ear.

He waited for Harry to give the portrait the password and cross through the portal before he turned to walk away.

Harry made his way through he dimly lit common room and up the stone staircase. His dorm mates were already softly snoring in their own respective beds. Harry undressed quietly and slipped into bed making sure to pull the bed curtains down around him.

He laid their listening to the sounds of the night wondering if he was going to ever be able to fall asleep. He desperately wanted another dreamless sleep potion, but Madame Pomfrey had said that he needed to wait another couple of days before he could take another dose.

He tried to rid his mind of all the terrible thoughts and memories that were plaguing him, but to no avail. He felt very scared and alone. He shivered slightly and pulled the blankets and comforter closer to his body. Unfortunately, the coldness that he was feeling was not because of the castle's drafty temperatures. No, this coldness was a tight little knot residing in the middle of his chest that would not come undone. He felt as miserable as he did when he first came to the Burrow after escaping the Dursleys. He willed himself not to fall asleep for fear of the nightmares that may come when he did finally close his eyes. He laid there dreading the moment when he could stay conscious no longer. He waited for the monster that would inevitably invade his dreams, but which monster would it be tonight?

A/N: This was unbeta'd. (I can't seem to get in touch with her). I really liked this chapter as I think it was important for the six friends to understand what had happened. I hope that it wasn't overly redundant to those of you who had read the original fic Bring Me to Life. Was Harry's character too reserved and detached? I can't decide. I also had to include the fall scenery as my muse wouldn't leave me alone until I did.