A/N: Many thanks to my new reviewer/ beta Drae. I could have never continued without you! Thank you to everyone who said that they would like to help as well. (menecarkawan, Jess, stampedelover, Katie, Black Penther, mandie/snuffles, mickikat, Silver Malfoy Potter, Immortal Memories, Goldengirl2, spidermonkey-Demon). I appreciated that so many reviewers had stepped up to the challenge. Drae has done a fine job, but if I need additional help in the future I will let you know.

Chapter 5- Whispers in the Dark

Harry spent the better part of two hours retrieving memories and placing them in his pensieve. He was eternally grateful to his headmaster for the thoughtful gift, and he was excited at the prospect of actually obtaining a full night's rest. Harry had explained to Ron that he needed to be alone for a while, and his friend was kind enough to keep everyone out of their dorm room long enough so that he could find some peace.

Harry had positioned himself cross-legged on the four poster bed with the stone bowl in front of him. The process of retrieving memories was fairly simple. He had to merely think of a memory and tap his wand against his temple. A yellowish light would then appear from the end of the wand and Harry would proceed to dip the tip of the magical tool into the silvery liquid to store the memory. What he had not expected was that the experience of draining his mind from his painful thoughts was somewhat traumatizing. Harry actually had to try and recall every horrific thing that had ever happened to him. Since his experience in Limbo, recalling memories had not really been a problem. In fact he could remember too many. At one point he thought there might be a limit to what the pensieve was capable of holding, but fortunately that did not happen.

Memory after memory was retrieved from his tired mind. Specific experiences while at the Dursleys', the death of his parents, all the times he endangered his friend's lives, the deaths of Cedric and Sirius, and finally the abuse and rape that had happened this past summer.

After several hours, Harry was spent. He hadn't even realized that he had been crying until he brought his hands up to rub his tired eyes. It was still quite early in the evening, but he was exhausted. He quietly put the pensieve in the wooden chest beside his bed and locked it properly. He then proceeded to lie down on top of his covers fully clothed. He lay on his side and brought his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around his waist.

His mind felt much more at peace than it had in a long time, but the experience had been quite overwhelming. The traitorous tears kept pouring down his face as a testament to everything he had ever endured. When it seemed that finally the last tear had fallen, he quietly prayed before he went to sleep that he would not have any nightmares tonight. It wasn't long before he nodded off. He was fortunate enough to have a restful sleep for most of the night, but early in the morning he entered the R.E.M. state of consciousness.

Harry knew in some sense that he was dreaming, but all he could see was darkness. The pitch black seemed somewhat familiar to him and Harry was not afraid. It was as if he could sense a presence in the unseen blackness. Who or what Harry could not identify.

Suddenly, there was a whisper in the dark, "Harry!"

He bolted upright wondering where the voice had come from. He looked quickly around the room. He realized that he was now awake and that he must have been a sleep for quite a while. He sighed in relief. He had certainly had a dream, but Harry could not exactly call it a nightmare. In fact, it didn't seem to have anything to do with what he normally dreamed about. Is this what normal dreams are like? It had been so long since Harry had dreamt normally that he really didn't know what to make of what he just imagined. Deciding that he was making a big deal out of nothing, he pushed what happened out of his mind.

Upon looking at his alarm clock he knew that it was still very early in the morning. The dormitory was rather dark and all of his roommates were sound asleep. Harry looked down and realized that he had been covered with a soft blanket sometime in the middle of the night. Ron…he must have done this, thought Harry. He smiled at his friend's thoughtful gesture. His best friend treated him more like a little brother than anything else. It made Harry feel like he was part of a family in some small way.

Harry, still being somewhat tired, decided to get some more sleep. It was the first time in as long as Harry could remember that he had not had a nightmare. The pensieve must have worked. Without the memories of his past plaguing his mind, he was able to get some rest like a normal person. Again, it wasn't long before he was fast asleep.

At first, all Harry could process was the utter darkness around him until finally an image began to take form. A room dimly lit by a fire came into focus and it seemed as if he was at the center sitting in an arm chair. He willed himself to look around and take in his surroundings but something kept his focus on another arm chair that was across from him.

He could hear someone pacing about the room angrily, but he dared not look up from that green chair. He began to memorize its every feature. The way that it was stained on the arm rests from people's oily skin over many years. The way that the fabric puckered everywhere it had been gathered and fashioned with an elaborate button. The way the nail heads beaded around the edging of the upholstery hiding the unfinished edges. Why was this one image so clear in his mind?

Finally, the pacing around him stopped and a voice could be heard.

"Can you explain to me why I just received a letter from your headmaster telling me that you have gotten in trouble once again?" the voice asked viciously. Harry could tell from the tone that the voice came from a male. An angry male.

Harry continued to stare at the chair in front of him in absolute terror.

"Well, explain yourself!"

"We were just trying to have some fun. We got carried away!" Harry felt himself say, but why he said that or what they were talking about he had no clue.

"Carried away? Someone could have been killed!"

Harry continued to stare at the arm chair waiting for the man's next comment.

"You are a disgrace to this family. I am in the right mind to send you out to the streets for your actions. What would the Dark Lord say about your foolish actions!"

"I don't care what he thinks!" said Harry angrily.

"You what?"

"I said I don't care…"

And with that Harry felt the man rush upon him and he knew that he was about to come to some physical harm. He jerked way quickly not really understanding the dangerousness of his last comment.

In reality, Harry had jerked himself awake and had almost fallen off the bed. His body was shaking and covered in a sheen of sweat. His dream left him feeling bewildered and frightened. He had no memory of any conversation like that occurring with his uncle or anyone else for that matter, and yet it had felt so real.

He shook his head to clear his thoughts, but he was still confused by the strange dream. Was it normal to have weird dreams like this? It felt like he was living someone else's memories. Was that even possible and why? He felt like he was going crazy or something.

Harry became aware that his roommates were staring to stir, so he gathered his things and made his way to the boy's bathroom so that he could begin to get ready for the day. Maybe a long hot shower would rid his mind of that awful dream. Drowning himself in a shower had never sounded so appealing. He definitely needed to wash away his sorrows. He hoped the scalding water would cleanse his soul as well as his skin.

Later that evening, Harry was lying beside Draco on the large four poster bed in the Room of Requirement. Each was oddly quiet as they had a lot on their minds. Green eyes stared quietly into the grey-blue ones across from him as he sighed deeply. Not being able to look at the beautiful boy in front of him any longer, Harry looked away with great sadness in his eyes.

"I've missed you," Draco said softly.

Harry laughed a little. "You just saw me this morning."

"Yeah, I saw you, but I wasn't able to be with you. I understand why we keep our relationship a secret and all, but it is hard sometimes."

"I know," said Harry. "The only time I really get to see you is in the evenings after Quidditch practice, and lately you have been having a lot of detentions."

"Yeah, sorry about that," said Draco.

"Don't be sorry." Harry knew that Draco had been having some trouble in Slytherin since Pansy was taken into custody. He was only doing what was necessary to survive in his House. The other children of the Death Eaters were giving him a hard time. On a few occasions a fight had broken out, but mostly they hexed and cursed each other. Draco had also invested in a few more items from the Weasley twins so that he could retaliate properly. Draco certainly had changed over the last year, but the part of him that was Slytherin was not about to die. Unfortunately, the events that had occurred did not warrant suspension or expulsion, so Draco and the others spent most of their time in detention waiting for another opportunity to strike. Harry admired Draco's strong sense of will in the face of adversity.

"At least I get to spend time with Severus."

"I wouldn't think that he would let you off that easily."

"Oh, he doesn't! I have scrubbed more cauldrons than I care to admit, but at least in detention I can be in the same room with him without worrying about anyone else listening. We have had some interesting conversations."

Draco got a far away look in his eyes as he talked about his beloved godfather. "What's wrong Draco?" asked Harry.

"Oh, I don't know. I guess I am just worried about him. He doesn't seem well these days since Voldemort discovered that he was a spy. I wonder if he is being affected by the Dark Lord in some way. He may be my professor, but he is my godfather too."

Harry nodded in understanding. He too had worried about his godfather, Sirius, all the time until…. until he had died.

They lay beside each other for a very long time just listening to each other breathing. Draco could sense that something was still troubling Harry. He reached towards Harry and placed his hands on either side of his pale face, forcing him to look back at him. Draco then reached towards Harry and placed a soft kiss on his parted lips.

"I love you," he whispered to the dark haired boy. "You know that, right?"

Harry nodded mutely. A part of him knew how much Draco cared for him or else the fair headed boy would never have gone to the lengths that he did in order to protect him. But another part of him wondered deep down inside why Draco even bothered with him sometimes. Let's face it. He was a complete mess most of the time, and he came with more emotional baggage then most people. He had been conditioned to feel unloved for so long it was hard to believe that anyone could love someone a pathetic as him. He certainly believed that he did not deserve it.

"Then what's troubling you, love? You seem so distant tonight. Are you still having nightmares?" asked Draco.

"No… it's not that. The pensieve Dumbledore gave me has actually helped me quite a bit… its just… I don't know how to explain it," said Harry sounding rather frustrated.

"Can you try?" he asked cautiously.

Harry looked away from Draco and rolled onto his back, removing Draco's hands from his face. He stared up at the ornate ceiling and blinked back the tears. His chin began to tremble in frustration and this throat began to throb with thickness.

"Harry, honey what is it?" Draco propped himself up on his elbow and looked down at his boyfriend uncertainly.

Harry shook his head from side to side to express that he did not want to talk about it. How do you tell your boyfriend that you feel like you are going crazy? That your "normal" dreams were just as twisted and perverse as your nightmares. That the guilt over causing so many deaths ate away at you day and night. That you wish you could slice your own flesh in order to transfer the emotional pain into something more real.

He felt Draco gather him in his arms. The tender affection caused his emotional dam to break and Harry began to weep quietly. He felt himself being rocked from side to side as Draco placed kisses on his forehead.

"It'll be alright, love. Tell me what is wrong," said the blond comfortingly.

"I'm just so sick of everything!"

"What do you mean?"

"I'm just so sick of… being me…." Harry knew that he was depressed, but how do you put a voice to something as complex as the inner workings of your subconscious emotions?

"I think I understand," said Draco. He bent his head down and kissed a few tears away. Harry sighed again deeply.

"I don't even understand what you see in me sometimes," he said forlornly.

"What?"

"I said…"

"I know what you said, but how can you say that!"

"Because…because… just look at me. I am so pathetic. I feel like I'm crying all the time now. You say you love me, but I don't know sometimes…"

Draco looked down at him sadly. "I do love you. With all my heart! I think in some way I always have. It just took me a while to figure it out. All those years we fought it was just another way to be near each other. I didn't understand what I wanted so I was cruel to you instead. I am sorry for that. If I knew then what a wonderful person you were, I wouldn't have wasted those five years. You are the most kind, thoughtful, and considerate person I know. You would walk through fire if it meant you could save someone you love and for that I admire you."

Harry smiled at the nice things Draco said about him. Was any of that really true?

"I love the way you make me feel when I am around you. Like I can be a better person or something."

"You are better person now you arrogant twit," said Harry trying to make light of the situation.

"Only because of you!" said Draco in his defense. "I was perfectly happy being a snobby Slytherin and you had to come along and turn my whole world around!"

Harry chuckled at the sarcastic remark. Draco always had a way of making him feel better about a situation.

"Hey, I know how I can make you feel better," said Draco excitedly.

"What?" asked Harry warily.

"A massage! These fingers are known to work wonders." Said the blond while flexing his fingers. The look on his face clearly stated that he was proud of his abilities.

Harry looked away as he thought about the possibility. It was appealing, but Harry was still very self conscious about the scars that had been inflicted upon his flesh by his uncle.

"I don't know Draco…. I don't want you to see me… you might find me disgusting," he said, never making eye contact.

"Harry, I would never find you disgusting. You are the most beautiful creature on the face of the earth!"

"No, I am not."

"You are to me!"

"Really?" asked Harry looking up into Draco's eyes.

"Really. Besides I know you want to," the blond said raising his eyebrows up and down in a suggestive manner.

"Alright… but you know that I have scars…"

Draco put his finger up to Harry's lips to quiet him. "I know all about it darling, and you do not need to feel embarrassed around me. I love you, remember?"

Harry nodded, smiling at the way Draco had again made the situation a little easier for him.

"Now, let's remove that shirt, shall we?"

"Okay, but don't get any other ideas!"

Harry crossed his arms and grabbed the hem of his t-shirt. He then proceeded to lift the article of clothing off of his lithe seeker frame, over his head, and then removed it from his arms. He looked down toward the bed covers not really sure of what to do next. He felt Draco place a hand on his shoulder to nudge him to lie down. This would be the first time Draco had every laid eyes on his half naked body. Harry was extremely nervous of what the other boy would think of him. He was still extremely thin from his experience this summer and his ongoing lack of appetite over recent months.

He turned over on his stomach and lay down slowly, resting his head on his arms, and felt Draco's soft fingers begin to rub the flesh around his neck. The rhythmic kneading began to work out all the knots that had accumulated from too many late night study sessions. He found himself falling into a wondrous state of relaxation.

"You like that?"

"Yeah," said Harry breathing deeply.

"Oh yeah? How about this? Rarrrhhh," growled the blond as he grabbed Harry's butt cheeks playfully.

"Hey!" Harry said, laughing at the intrusion.

"Sorry! I couldn't help myself."

Draco then carefully straddled himself across Harry's bottom so that he could massage him properly. He felt Harry stiffen slightly at the additional weight across his body. "Is this okay, love?"

"Yeah," said Harry softly.

Draco's fingers did work wonders. Harry felt better than he had in a long time. His hands would slowly massage their way up his back and shoulders and neck. He would then use his fingers to lightly ghost their way down his back, barely touching the skin, before repeating the kneading process again. The combined sensations were wonderful.

"Mmmmhhhh…," moaned Harry quietly. Draco smiled down at his boyfriend knowing that the massage was helping the small boy to relax.

When Harry had relaxed completely, Draco began to lightly finger each scar along his back. He calmly kissed each area of blemished skin as if he could erase the emotional pain still tied to those experiences. The scars were actually rather faint and pale, but the knowledge that they were still there caused Harry tremendous anxiety. The only person he had ever willingly allowed to see him without his shirt on was Ron, and only because he was the one who had discovered Harry's condition while at the Burrow.

After massaging the smaller boy beneath him for a long while, Draco wasn't even sure if the boy was still awake. He had been quiet for quite a while. "Harry?"

He leaned forward and realized that he had relaxed the boy to sleep. He carefully got off of Harry and snuggled up next to him on the bed. "Goodnight, love," said Draco kissing his boyfriend on the forehead.

"Gahmigh," Harry mumbled in his sleep. "Fank yuh."

"You're welcome sleepyhead," said Draco as he embraced Harry in his arms.

The two boys slept next to one another for most of the night relishing the opportunity to be in each other's presence for more than just an hour or two.

A/N: Sorry this chapter was so short. I actually planned it to be much longer, but I liked where it ended. Many of my reviewers were sad at a lack of Draco in the last chapter and I agreed that he should make another appearance. I hope that you all liked this chapter. I know it wasn't much, but remember Harry and Draco are going slow with their intimacy for obvious reasons. There will be more scenes like this soon. The lovely, happy, fluffy chapter is still to come. Oh and for those of you who are not sure if they want to continue to read this or not, or may be sick of all the angst, STICK AROUND! You are going to absolutely love the ending, and I have been told by my new beta that I have taken quite an original approach towards it.

Thank you to all my reviewers and readers!