fukaku shizumari kaeru... tsutsumikomareta sora to karada o kogasu
taiyou, anata ga kieteiku
nani o motome samayou no? hitorikiri no boku wa...
sameta hitomi no oku de nikushimi o dakishimenagara
jibun o urandemo itami wa kie wa shinai
eien ni ikiru kanashimi o dakishimete
kieta kimi o omoitsuzukeru koto shika dekinakute
boku no kawaru koto no nai kimi e no omoi wa
fukaku fukaku ima mo,
sou...aishiteiru
tsuki akari ni terasarete kuchizusanda kimi no na mo kaze ni sarawarete kieta
yoake ni hohoemu kimi ga oshietekureta ano uta o utaitsuzuke
hoshizora ni kaeru namida o kazoeteta
nando mo nando mo tada kurikaeshiteita yoru
aa, fukaku fukaku ima mo
sou...aishiteiru
The LookingGlass
Chapter 6
Hoshi no Suna
"What were you thinking?!" Haku's face was red with fury and his voice echoed through the halls of the Aburaya. Chihiro was calmly folding her clothing, moving herself into her own room. Ignoring Haku, she walked out the door of his room. "Chihiro! You listen to me! Go home! Stay out of here."
"I will not let Hikari be taken advantage of. I will stay here, and she will return home. As soon as possible. I need to let her have time to say goodbye to Rei." Chihiro said calmly, her back to the angered river spirit.
"You didn't need to do that. I would have taken care of her. Of both of you."
"Why? Why do you have to watch over her? She's my sister. I'll have nothing happen to her. She's all I've got left. What would you understand of love?" Chihiro stalked out of the room. Her own quarters were only a few doors down, but she couldn't stand to be in the same room as him anymore.
Haku stared at the carpet. His hands clenched at his sides as he blinked back his tears. What would you understand of love? He repeated it over and over again in his mind. What would he understand? He had loved once, but it was not meant to be. The Chihiro he knew taught him to be kind and gentle. This Chihiro was cold. She knew abandon, what it was like to be loved and forgotten. What would he understand of love? He understood the love of two sisters; he understood impossible romance. He was no stranger to love.
Chihiro would learn this, in time.
The morning sun rose high into the air, and Chihiro found herself becoming drowsy. Hikari was safely sleeping with Mika, so Chihiro could safely lie down with the rest of the Bathhouse. She rested in her warm bed, but sleep would not take her.
Haku was lying awake in his own bed. Though it was time for him to sleep, the events of the day still troubled him. The door to his room creaked slowly. He rolled onto his side, turning away from the intruder's presence. He feigned sleep.
Chihiro walked slowly to Haku's bed and sat at the edges. She closed her eyes and willed herself not to tear, "Haku," she said, "I know you're sleeping, but I just wanted to say I'm sorry. I had no right to yell at you today. It's just, sometimes I feel like there are parts of me missing. I feel that if I put myself together, I'll be able to be happy again. I feel that there's a part of me I've forgotten—"
"The mind never completely forgets," the voice of the river spirit interrupted Chihiro's rant, "It just takes effort to remember." Chihiro's tears came from her eyes, and flowed down her face in streams. She cupped her face in her hands and sobbed quietly.
"I'm so scared. I don't know what to do." Haku sat up slowly in his bed. He turned his body to face hers and held her close to him. Her back rested lightly on his chest.
"It's okay now. I can get you out of here. I will save you Chihiro."
"Haku." She started, "How do you know my name? You've been calling me Chihiro since I arrived here."
"I don't know. My own name is difficult for me to remember, but yours, I just know." She nodded, not completely understanding.
"Why can't you remember your name?"
"A girl I knew. She took it with her when she left me. Years ago."
The sun set below the horizon, and Haku slept peacefully. The last burning embers of the day broke his deep sleep. He rolled onto his side and smiled slightly. Chihiro was next to him, his old work clothes hanging loosely on her small frame. Haku stood up slowly, careful not to wake her. He made his way toward his bathroom, and opened the door. He smiled to himself as he stepped into his shower.
Chihiro was broken. There was nothing for her to do but live her life day by day. Haku could see the devastation she lived with, even through her smile. Yes, the little girl he knew was all grown up. She had become a beautiful woman. The question, one that he had been asking himself since the day she left.
Could he once again find himself in her?
Yes. He knew that now. He loved her. Her soul may have been broken, but he could fix it. He could help her remember.
The cool water fell upon his face as he smiled. Tonight he would hear her sing.
"It all becomes completely quiet... from the enwrapped sky and the sun
that scorches the body, you are vanishing
What do you wander, searching for? As for myself, all alone..."
Chihiro's melancholy voice soared through the impromptu stadium at the Aburaya. Her trusty acoustic guitar was placed on her lap, and her own tight-fit jeans had replaced Haku's baggy clothing. She hadn't exactly been prepared to sign a lifelong contract and live forever on this side of the river. Her clothing was limited to the one outfit she was in now, and she refused to wear work clothes for her show.
Inside of cold eyes that are embracing hatred
Even if you despise yourself, the pain will not vanish
Embrace the eternal sadness
She sang songs that rang true deep in her heart. She was sad and lonely. Searching endlessly for the man that had taken her heart from her. He hadn't physically stolen it, of course, but Hikari had explained it perfectly, "He's the one you're meant for. The other half to your soul. None of the others are worth anything. You only want to find him." So she had embraced the sadness, knowing that someday her sadness would end.
I can only keep remembering you who disappeared
My unchanging feelings towards you
Deeply deeply even now,
Yes...I love you
Hikari was there now. Right in front. Chihiro smiled and winked at her little sister. Only one more night. One more night, and Hikari would be sent home. The band could care for her. Mum and dad would be better soon. Hikari couldn't be allowed to stay here anymore. She had a life to live.
Illuminated by the moonlight, the wind even snatches away your name that I sing to myself
A tear threatened to break through. Rei and Mika stood in the doorway, beaming at her. They looked so happy. Chihiro had always wanted them to see her sing. It was a dream come true.
I keep singing that song that you taught me, smiling in the dawn
We were counting the tears that returned to the starry sky
That night just repeated over and over again
Ahh, deeply deeply even now
Yes...I love you
And then there was Haku. He stood just behind Rei and Mika. His eyes seemed cloudy. He looked proud. Chihiro blushed slightly. As her voice sang the last phrase of her song, "Sou... Aishiteiru." Her eyes had been locked in a gaze with Haku's. He reminded her of someone she used to know. She strained to think of where she knew him from, but the picture evaded her memory.
She was shaken from her reverie by the sound of applause. She looked to the crowd of strange creatures—spirits and smiled broadly. She loved her work. She loved to see what joy it brought others. She shouted a thank you before excusing herself from the stage. Her show was over, and it was time for her to return to her bedroom for some well-deserved rest.
She blushed when she thought of the night before. She hadn't originally intended to stay overnight with Haku. He made her feel comfortable. Although Rei and Mika were also in this land, Chihiro found it hard to find solace in them. Haku was her knight in shining armor. He had tried to protect her from the witch Yubaba. She doubted Mika or Rei would have the strength or the will to do such a thing. For that she held him in the highest of regard.
She stayed not because he protected her, however. She stayed because she knew that he was the key to her memories.
Later that night, when the guests had been safely tucked into bed, Chihiro sat on the balcony overlooking the sea. The night sky was turning white, with the breaking dawn. Chihiro sat cross-legged, her eyes dreamy and distant, plucking absently on the strings of her guitar with the pick-like stone she wore around her neck.
"Here, I swiped this for you to eat."
Chihiro snapped to attention. Rei sat beside her, a fluffy dumpling in his extended hand. She smiled slightly before setting her guitar aside and accepting her friend's gift. "Thank you, Rin." She said absent-mindedly as she bit into the pastry. Rei raised an eyebrow at her misuse of his name, but said nothing.
"You're welcome. You sounded wonderful tonight. You can really play that thing."
"Thank you." Chihiro said quietly. She looked into horizon, comfortable in the silence. For years she had thought of a million things to say to Rei when she saw him again, but now she couldn't begin. "Rei." She said, "I want you to know that I don't hate you. I tried to hate you when you left. I wanted to be mad because you left Hikari, you left her with me. I'm not good enough to take care of her myself. I'm not as smart as you. But I couldn't even dislike you. I know why you left. She was your world. I was happy for you."
Rei said nothing in reply. His gaze was directed at the sky in front of him.
"I think you should take this back. I have no idea what you and Mika are to one another anymore, but I think that if you still love her, then you should give it to her." Chihiro stood up, but not before placing the velvet box containing Mika's engagement ring next to Rei's hand.
Chihiro walked away. She left the bathhouse and crossed the bridge. She found the place where the river had dried itself out and sat, knees to her chest.
Tomorrow, Hikari would leave her forever.
A/N: Thanks for reading. More to come soon. Sorry for the delay. The song in the chapter is the song at the beginning of the chapter. And before anyone says anything, yes I know the song Hoshi no Suna (again bay Gackt) is actually played on the piano. After careful consideration, however, I decided that it could be adapted to the guitar if the situation called for it. And it did.
Don't forget to review! Let me know what you think!
SLA
taiyou, anata ga kieteiku
nani o motome samayou no? hitorikiri no boku wa...
sameta hitomi no oku de nikushimi o dakishimenagara
jibun o urandemo itami wa kie wa shinai
eien ni ikiru kanashimi o dakishimete
kieta kimi o omoitsuzukeru koto shika dekinakute
boku no kawaru koto no nai kimi e no omoi wa
fukaku fukaku ima mo,
sou...aishiteiru
tsuki akari ni terasarete kuchizusanda kimi no na mo kaze ni sarawarete kieta
yoake ni hohoemu kimi ga oshietekureta ano uta o utaitsuzuke
hoshizora ni kaeru namida o kazoeteta
nando mo nando mo tada kurikaeshiteita yoru
aa, fukaku fukaku ima mo
sou...aishiteiru
The LookingGlass
Chapter 6
Hoshi no Suna
"What were you thinking?!" Haku's face was red with fury and his voice echoed through the halls of the Aburaya. Chihiro was calmly folding her clothing, moving herself into her own room. Ignoring Haku, she walked out the door of his room. "Chihiro! You listen to me! Go home! Stay out of here."
"I will not let Hikari be taken advantage of. I will stay here, and she will return home. As soon as possible. I need to let her have time to say goodbye to Rei." Chihiro said calmly, her back to the angered river spirit.
"You didn't need to do that. I would have taken care of her. Of both of you."
"Why? Why do you have to watch over her? She's my sister. I'll have nothing happen to her. She's all I've got left. What would you understand of love?" Chihiro stalked out of the room. Her own quarters were only a few doors down, but she couldn't stand to be in the same room as him anymore.
Haku stared at the carpet. His hands clenched at his sides as he blinked back his tears. What would you understand of love? He repeated it over and over again in his mind. What would he understand? He had loved once, but it was not meant to be. The Chihiro he knew taught him to be kind and gentle. This Chihiro was cold. She knew abandon, what it was like to be loved and forgotten. What would he understand of love? He understood the love of two sisters; he understood impossible romance. He was no stranger to love.
Chihiro would learn this, in time.
The morning sun rose high into the air, and Chihiro found herself becoming drowsy. Hikari was safely sleeping with Mika, so Chihiro could safely lie down with the rest of the Bathhouse. She rested in her warm bed, but sleep would not take her.
Haku was lying awake in his own bed. Though it was time for him to sleep, the events of the day still troubled him. The door to his room creaked slowly. He rolled onto his side, turning away from the intruder's presence. He feigned sleep.
Chihiro walked slowly to Haku's bed and sat at the edges. She closed her eyes and willed herself not to tear, "Haku," she said, "I know you're sleeping, but I just wanted to say I'm sorry. I had no right to yell at you today. It's just, sometimes I feel like there are parts of me missing. I feel that if I put myself together, I'll be able to be happy again. I feel that there's a part of me I've forgotten—"
"The mind never completely forgets," the voice of the river spirit interrupted Chihiro's rant, "It just takes effort to remember." Chihiro's tears came from her eyes, and flowed down her face in streams. She cupped her face in her hands and sobbed quietly.
"I'm so scared. I don't know what to do." Haku sat up slowly in his bed. He turned his body to face hers and held her close to him. Her back rested lightly on his chest.
"It's okay now. I can get you out of here. I will save you Chihiro."
"Haku." She started, "How do you know my name? You've been calling me Chihiro since I arrived here."
"I don't know. My own name is difficult for me to remember, but yours, I just know." She nodded, not completely understanding.
"Why can't you remember your name?"
"A girl I knew. She took it with her when she left me. Years ago."
The sun set below the horizon, and Haku slept peacefully. The last burning embers of the day broke his deep sleep. He rolled onto his side and smiled slightly. Chihiro was next to him, his old work clothes hanging loosely on her small frame. Haku stood up slowly, careful not to wake her. He made his way toward his bathroom, and opened the door. He smiled to himself as he stepped into his shower.
Chihiro was broken. There was nothing for her to do but live her life day by day. Haku could see the devastation she lived with, even through her smile. Yes, the little girl he knew was all grown up. She had become a beautiful woman. The question, one that he had been asking himself since the day she left.
Could he once again find himself in her?
Yes. He knew that now. He loved her. Her soul may have been broken, but he could fix it. He could help her remember.
The cool water fell upon his face as he smiled. Tonight he would hear her sing.
"It all becomes completely quiet... from the enwrapped sky and the sun
that scorches the body, you are vanishing
What do you wander, searching for? As for myself, all alone..."
Chihiro's melancholy voice soared through the impromptu stadium at the Aburaya. Her trusty acoustic guitar was placed on her lap, and her own tight-fit jeans had replaced Haku's baggy clothing. She hadn't exactly been prepared to sign a lifelong contract and live forever on this side of the river. Her clothing was limited to the one outfit she was in now, and she refused to wear work clothes for her show.
Inside of cold eyes that are embracing hatred
Even if you despise yourself, the pain will not vanish
Embrace the eternal sadness
She sang songs that rang true deep in her heart. She was sad and lonely. Searching endlessly for the man that had taken her heart from her. He hadn't physically stolen it, of course, but Hikari had explained it perfectly, "He's the one you're meant for. The other half to your soul. None of the others are worth anything. You only want to find him." So she had embraced the sadness, knowing that someday her sadness would end.
I can only keep remembering you who disappeared
My unchanging feelings towards you
Deeply deeply even now,
Yes...I love you
Hikari was there now. Right in front. Chihiro smiled and winked at her little sister. Only one more night. One more night, and Hikari would be sent home. The band could care for her. Mum and dad would be better soon. Hikari couldn't be allowed to stay here anymore. She had a life to live.
Illuminated by the moonlight, the wind even snatches away your name that I sing to myself
A tear threatened to break through. Rei and Mika stood in the doorway, beaming at her. They looked so happy. Chihiro had always wanted them to see her sing. It was a dream come true.
I keep singing that song that you taught me, smiling in the dawn
We were counting the tears that returned to the starry sky
That night just repeated over and over again
Ahh, deeply deeply even now
Yes...I love you
And then there was Haku. He stood just behind Rei and Mika. His eyes seemed cloudy. He looked proud. Chihiro blushed slightly. As her voice sang the last phrase of her song, "Sou... Aishiteiru." Her eyes had been locked in a gaze with Haku's. He reminded her of someone she used to know. She strained to think of where she knew him from, but the picture evaded her memory.
She was shaken from her reverie by the sound of applause. She looked to the crowd of strange creatures—spirits and smiled broadly. She loved her work. She loved to see what joy it brought others. She shouted a thank you before excusing herself from the stage. Her show was over, and it was time for her to return to her bedroom for some well-deserved rest.
She blushed when she thought of the night before. She hadn't originally intended to stay overnight with Haku. He made her feel comfortable. Although Rei and Mika were also in this land, Chihiro found it hard to find solace in them. Haku was her knight in shining armor. He had tried to protect her from the witch Yubaba. She doubted Mika or Rei would have the strength or the will to do such a thing. For that she held him in the highest of regard.
She stayed not because he protected her, however. She stayed because she knew that he was the key to her memories.
Later that night, when the guests had been safely tucked into bed, Chihiro sat on the balcony overlooking the sea. The night sky was turning white, with the breaking dawn. Chihiro sat cross-legged, her eyes dreamy and distant, plucking absently on the strings of her guitar with the pick-like stone she wore around her neck.
"Here, I swiped this for you to eat."
Chihiro snapped to attention. Rei sat beside her, a fluffy dumpling in his extended hand. She smiled slightly before setting her guitar aside and accepting her friend's gift. "Thank you, Rin." She said absent-mindedly as she bit into the pastry. Rei raised an eyebrow at her misuse of his name, but said nothing.
"You're welcome. You sounded wonderful tonight. You can really play that thing."
"Thank you." Chihiro said quietly. She looked into horizon, comfortable in the silence. For years she had thought of a million things to say to Rei when she saw him again, but now she couldn't begin. "Rei." She said, "I want you to know that I don't hate you. I tried to hate you when you left. I wanted to be mad because you left Hikari, you left her with me. I'm not good enough to take care of her myself. I'm not as smart as you. But I couldn't even dislike you. I know why you left. She was your world. I was happy for you."
Rei said nothing in reply. His gaze was directed at the sky in front of him.
"I think you should take this back. I have no idea what you and Mika are to one another anymore, but I think that if you still love her, then you should give it to her." Chihiro stood up, but not before placing the velvet box containing Mika's engagement ring next to Rei's hand.
Chihiro walked away. She left the bathhouse and crossed the bridge. She found the place where the river had dried itself out and sat, knees to her chest.
Tomorrow, Hikari would leave her forever.
A/N: Thanks for reading. More to come soon. Sorry for the delay. The song in the chapter is the song at the beginning of the chapter. And before anyone says anything, yes I know the song Hoshi no Suna (again bay Gackt) is actually played on the piano. After careful consideration, however, I decided that it could be adapted to the guitar if the situation called for it. And it did.
Don't forget to review! Let me know what you think!
SLA