Timeline: A possible future Character Focus: Amara and John
BurnI don't understand why
Trying to clear all apprehension that had been breeding within her for the past hour Amara steeled herself and knocked firmly on the door.
"Come in."
Opening the door quietly, she saw John lying on his bed, manipulating a small ball of fire. When he looked up at her, he plastered on a smile that, she noticed, was not a happy one. She had been worried when he had stayed behind after this morning's meeting and whispered to meet him in a hour as she left.
"Hey, love." The tone of voice. Masking. She knew something was wrong. She watched warily as he stopping what he was doing and walked over to her to greet her with a kiss. It was second nature. They always greeted each other with a kiss.
She turned her head up to receive his greeting but found herself being pulled into a loose embrace. Shocked at his actions, she belatedly raised her arms to return the embrace. He pulled back quickly, as if burned. Her skin tingled, as if the pain she felt at his apparent rejection was trying to manifest as physical instead of emotional. Looking back at him, she saw guilt in his eyes.
"We need to talk."
I know this is something I gotta do
But that don't mean I want to
Those four words hit her like a fist in the gut. Every one knew those four little words hardly ever meant good news. Taking her hand, he led her to the bed. They sat down next to each other and John retained the hold on her hand, much to her relief.
"Something tells me that your meeting didn't go well," she started, trying to break the ice.
"Actually, love, it did," he said it softly, almost apologetic.
She felt the anxiety was seeping back into her. "John, don't beat around the bush. Tell me what's going on."
What I'm trying to say is that I-love-you I just
He took a deep breath but looked away from her as he spoke. "I told Xavier I wanted to join up with Fury's team."
I feel like this is coming to an end
She jumped to her feet. "What?! Why?!"
"You know I haven't been feelin' it here anymore. I don't fit."
"When do you leave?"
"In an hour."
She stood in front of him. "But what about all of your friends here?" she asked, arms raised.
He snorted. "What friends? Remy, Piotr and Rogue may care but the rest wouldn't give a rat's ass if I went."
"That's not true!" she protested indignantly.
"It is true. Logan and Scott trust me about as far as they can throw me. I don't fit in with your friends. They only talk to me because of you."
She knelt in front of him and placed her hands on his knees. "Then what about me? Am I not enough to keep you here?"
"Amara, you know I love you," he told her, taking her hands in his. She looked up at him and saw the guilt spread to his face.
"But I'm not enough to keep you here," she stated softly.
And its better for me to let it go now than hold on and hurt you
I gotta let it burn
"Why?" she questioned quietly. "I thought we were happy." "We were."
It's gonna burn for me to say this
But it's comin from my heart
It's been a long time coming
But we done been fell apart
He took her face in his hands and gazed deep into her shining eyes. "Amara, love, I don't fit in your world. We both know that. You're a princess, for Pete's sake."
"My world isn't so different from yours. You said we would make this work."
"We tried. Where has it gotten us?"
Really wanna work this out
But I don't think you're gonna change
I do but you don't
Think it's best we go our separate ways
"It hasn't been so bad lately. We don't fight as much."
"Because I'm tired, love. I don't want to fight you anymore. We've both tried to change and it ain't workin'."
Tell me why I should stay in this relationship
When I'm hurting baby, I ain't happy baby
Plus there's so many other things I gotta deal with
I think that you should let it burn
"Thing's changed, love. We aren't the same as we were four years ago. You know we've been growing apart. Been happenin' for a while now."
It was true, she knew, but it didn't mean she wanted to accept it. "Everyone hits a rough patch. It happened to Jean and Scott and they worked through it. Why can't we?"
He dropped his hold on her face. "Because I don't know if I want to anymore."
When your feeling ain't the same and your body don't want to
But you know gotta let it go cuz the party ain't jumpin' like it used to
Even though this might ruin you
A lone tear slipped down her cheek as she pulled in her arms to embrace herself. "So that's it. You're just going to give up?"
He reached out and brushed the tear away. "I'm not giving up. I'm letting you go."
Let it burn
Let it burn
Gotta let it burn
"I think you know, deep down, that I ain't the one for you, not anymore. I don't make you smile like you used to, don't make you laugh as often. I'm hurting you 'mara. You've cried enough tears to rival one of Storm's rain clouds." He choked a bit at his next comment. "You deserve someone better than me."
Deep down you know it's best for yourself but you
Hate the thought of her being with someone else
But you know that it's over
We know that it's through
Amara's eyes were filling up faster than she could will the moisture away. More tears cascaded down her checks that John wiped away. He smiled sadly. "And I'm still makin' you cry."
Let it burn
Let it burn
Gotta let it burn
Focusing her eyes with his again, she asked the question that had been on her mind since he initiated this break up. "Is it because of her?" she asked in a low voice.
John knew who she was referring to and willed back the burst of frustration. "Can you see how this doesn't work?" he said, gesturing between her and himself. "You still don't trust me."
Her gaze dropped to the floor. "You two have a history and I know she's going to be on the team . . ."
"Wanda and I are just friends," he stated in hardened tone.
They sat in silence; each not knowing what to say next, until Amara let loose a poorly concealed sob. Quickly kneeling to the floor, he gathered her up in his arms.
"Please don't cry, love. Not for me." His request was met with another stifled sob. Pulling away slightly so he could see her face, he gently clasped her chin so he could look her in the eye. "Amara, I need this. As much as I don't want to leave you, I need to get away from this for a while and see if this is what I really want. I don't want you to wait for me."
Her gaze rose slightly but she still didn't look at him. "But what if I want to wait?"
He faltered at her question. Did he really want her to wait? Was breaking up a mistake?
I'm twisted cuz one side of me is tellin' me that I need to move on
On the other side I wanna break down and cry
Seeing her in front of him, seeing only a glimpse of what his departure would do to him, left him torn. Did he want to leave? Yes. Did he want to leave her? Not really.
"Would you be willing to come with me?" He answered her question with one of his own. Hope tinged his voice.
She looked at him with shining eyes. "Leave the X-Men?" The simple thought alone . . . she couldn't do it. This was her life, something she felt truly a part of. She wasn't ready to give it up just yet. And it killed her knowing that she really wasn't ready to start a new life with John.
The look on her face said it all. He should have known better, really. Being part of the active roster had been her ultimate goal since she stepped foot into the Institute. It would be wrong of him to take that away from her. But it did hurt a bit knowing where he really stood.
"Amara-" She stood and cut him off.
"No, John. It's okay. I understand what you have to do." She wiped her eyes and looked at him. "I stay because I need to, you leave because you need to."
Deep down you know it's best for yourself but you
Hate the thought of her being with someone else
But you know that it's over
We know that it's through
Stepping up to him, she enveloped him in a hug. "I can't promise that I will wait for you forever but I can promise that I won't forget you. Please try not to forget me."
"Like I could forget a beautiful Sheila made of fire," he told her, tightening his embrace.
Let it burn
Finally, after a few moments, Amara pulled away. Looking up at him with a teary smile, she gave him a soft kiss. "I hope I see you again soon." "Me, too."
Let it burn
No good-byes were exchanged. He simply watched as she walked out the door and out of his life. He stood there for a while, contemplating the consequences of his decision for the ump-teenth time. Despite his request to do otherwise, she said that she would wait, at least for a while, and knowing that made everything hurt a little less. Slumping back onto his bed, he buried his face in his hands, silently praying that Amara wouldn't end up being the one that got away.
Gotta let it burn
##########
A.N.:
The song used is "Burn" by Usher. The entire song was not used, only excerpts.
Now before everyone comes running after me with their knives and pitchforks, let me throw out some semblance of an explanation for this distressing tale. I have no aversion to a John/Amara romance, although I am a tiny bit partial to John/Wanda. I heard this song and the story was practically clawing its way out of my brain. It just seemed to fit (y'know, Amara, John, fire). Also, they weren't seen together in the future visions, hence a possible breakup. I did, however, leave room for a potential reconciliation. I figured that all comic couples go through some sort of break up during the stretch of their relationship and this just happens to be one of them. So that's that.
Also, I have included review responses from Filling in the Blanks: It Doesn't Get Easier.
Star-of-Chaos - Thank you for the compliment. I'm hoping that there won't be any more sad stories for a while, though.
JexyBaby - Thank you for your review. For some reason, I got the impression that the future wasn't going to be so bright and sunny so I thought I'd address that a bit. It's good to know that my story had the desired affect.
Jupiterhime - Continuations? It's possible.
Aro - Happy that I killed off one of my favorite characters? Not really, but that seems to be the second time I've killed of Remy, isn't it? I can promise you he won't die in Just a Friend, though!
MusicalMooky - I've always been a fan of the Rogue and Scott friendship (that's FRIENDSHIP not RELATIONSHIP) because they do seem to have this underlying understanding of one another. I've read lots of other stories where they seem drawn to each other in the aftermath of a crisis and the idea of it almost seems weird because they are such opposites.
PomegranateQueen - Thank you for the compliments on my writing but I'm sorry I made you cry!
T. - Thank you. It's always nice to be complimented on a story that could easily attract a lot of flames.
Ranialw - Add-ons to the story are always possible, but they would probably be in the form of another one-shot in the series. Keep an eye out!
Lyranfan - I'm glad you liked the story. Didn't receive a whole lot of hate mail for the story but I figured they probably were just too upset to comment.