RESOLVE

She never wore white anymore.

She remembered how he loved her in white. Her told her she was his angel. And since he'd left, she'd packed all her white away, leaving grey and black in its stead. She remembered her birthday, when he first called her angel. She was wearing her softest white sweater, with a full white skirt. For the first day in a long time, she'd left her hair down as a shining curtain to frame her face. She remembered the way the grass whispered beneath her bare feet. His face had lit up as she came into his view. That was what she remembered most. His smile, no trace of a smirk that day.

As she arrived in front of him, a tiny white flower drifted down from the tree above and settled in his hair. She remembered the way his soft curls felt as she plucked the flower from its resting place, and how he has suddenly wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close for a kiss. She remembered how he smelled of fresh laundry and cologne. She had buried her head in his neck and just inhaled, drinking in the scent of him. She could not think of a better smell in the world.

He had handed her a box, wrapped in white with a bow of silver. She remembered his impatience, like a small child, as she carefully pulled away the paper to reveal the gift inside. It was her favourite perfume, one she could rarely afford to wear. He had known just want to get her, and the kiss she gave him in thanks was so tender and sweet. She had whispered in his ear, "I know we swore never to say it, but I'm in love with you." And she closed her eyes and pulled him to her, not wanting to se his face. The embrace seemed to last an eternity, for she could not bear to see his reaction. But eventually she pulled away, to look into his clear, blue eyes. His face betrayed no emotion, and he bent to retrieve the discarded gift-wrapping. She had felt like she was dying inside, not knowing what he was thinking, until he handed her the small white card that had been attached to the gift.

With her heart in her throat, she opened the tiny square to read the message scrawled in black ink. Sydney Ann Bristow, I Love You. Her gaze flew to his face, only to see laughter building up in his eyes. It took her a second to register that new information, and the moment was broken by his step forward, to take her into his arms and deliver the sweetest kiss they had ever shared.

Sydney came out of her daydream, eyes finally focusing on the pouring rain outside the window. She glanced down, as she had done a thousand times, to read the letter she had found on her doorstep a month ago, the letter that had broken her heart into pieces small enough to pass through the eye of a needle. He had left her. And it was all because she was too afraid of the consequences she would have to face if she had admitted she had wanted to marry him too.

Sydney remembered the first time she had read the letter. He had ended it with 'Forever, Julian'. That had been the line to shatter her resolve. He had never told her his name before. No matter how many times she asked to know it, he has refused to tell her, it was always just Sark. He said it was so there was always something to keep them apart, so if they were taken away from each other, it would hurt that little bit less. And so by ending the letter with his name, Sydney realised that he had gone of his own free will. And even then, a month later, that was the only line to cause the tears to flow.

But what Sark would not have counted on, was that by leaving his name, it would bring Sydney to the resolution that she would seek him out, and tell him what she had been afraid to admit before. Admit to him that she wanted to marry him more than anything else in the world, no matter the consequence the decision brought about.

Sydney stood up from her place in front of the window, and made her way to her bedroom. She walked through the door, past her packed duffle bag, to where her bed stood. She bent down to lift a corner of the mattress, and retrieve a yellow manila envelope. She stood once again, and shook the contents of the envelope out onto the bed. A photo with a piece of paper clipped to it, stared back up at her.

The photo showed a heartbreakingly handsome man, wearing jeans and a black t-shirt, walking a shaggy golden retriever sown a shady suburban street. The man had on dark glasses, and looking at the picture Sydney felt she was almost there with him, seeing his curls ruffle in the breeze, and smell his unique scent of fresh linen and cologne.

She flipped to the paper attached to the photo to scan over the information.

Name: Andrew McMAHON
ALIAS: Julian SARK
Address: 1602 Dover Ave
Hope Springs
IOWA

Sydney then retrieved the second item that fell from the envelope. A plane ticket to Iowa. She took one last glance around her room, before moving to pick up the duffle. She made one last stop before going to open the door, past the kitchen bench to pick up the envelope she had placed there the night before. Then she walked out the door and closed it with a soft click. She walked to the door standing next to her own and taped the envelope to the door, before striding out to the waiting cab.

Hearing a knock on his door, Eric Weiss shouted out, "Coming!" He picked up the twenty-dollar bill that was lying in the kitchen bench before going to open the door. Behind the door stood a tall gangly kid, wearing a pizza delivery uniform. "Large pepperoni with extra cheese?" "Oh yeah! That's the one!" Weiss replied with a groan. He could practically taste the pizza from where he stood. As he handed over the money the pizza boy said, "Hey, man, you know there's a note taped to your door right?" Weiss looked to see a cream parchment envelope taped to his door, with his name typed on it in black ink.

Pizza safely in hand, Weiss shut his front door and made his way to the couch. Sinking down into its depths, he put the pizza to one side and, with a slice in one hand, he opened the envelope to read the note inside.

Eric,
By the time you read this, I will be gone, but I need you to
understand why I left.

About a year ago, I fell in love with Sark. You won't
understand, I don't expect you to, but I needed you to know.

He's gone away and I have to go and find him.

Please, don't come after me, and please make sure that my
father doesn't either. Let him know that I am safe and I love
him but don't tell him about Sark.

My resignation from the Agency is in the top drawer of my desk.
Could you please make sure that Dixon gets it?

Thank you for being there for me, Eric. You have been the best
friend I could have ever had, but this is something that I need
to do.
Love always, Sydney.

Weiss let the slice of pizza fall from his hand. He stared at the piece of paper in disbelief. Sydney had disappeared to find Sark. She was in love with him. Weiss suddenly was not hungry any more. He felt the rising dread as he thought of the consequences of her actions. He was going to have to tell her father, Jack Bristow, that she had quit the CIA and she didn't want to be followed. That wasn't going to sit well with him. But to push that fact aside, Weiss was most distressed to realise that Sydney had disappeared without a trace before he had had the chance to admit that he had fallen in love with her.