A/N: Second cancelled school day of the year. Usually I am extremely opposed to such days because we have to make them up later, but I have to admit today was very nice. I got some much needed sleep, and some much needed time to work on this ^_^. Enjoy.
Disclaimer – I do not own Hey Arnold, and this is extremely repetitive.
Where to Begin
Chapter 23 – Feeling like a Little Girl
Arnold watched the girls exit the stage. Many were actually happy that they were not in the top five and the pressure was gone. A few looked genuinely disappointed, but an auburn-haired girl ran past him towards the dressing rooms holding her hands in front of her face. "Lila!" he cried after her, but she just kept running.
"Aw, forget about her, Arnold. You don't have time to worry about that drama queen," Josh said.
"Josh, she just lost. Be a little considerate," Phoebe snapped. Josh just shrugged.
"Yes!" Callie cried as she ran to Josh and gave him a big hug. Josh looked scared, clearly thrown that the girl he had been pining over had suddenly thrown herself at him. "Ha ha, I did it!"
Helga walked calmly towards them, a slight smile on her face. "Personally I was hoping I wouldn't go on, but whatever."
"Oh, congratulations, Helga," Phoebe said.
"Yeah, you got in and Lila didn't! Oh, it's such a happy day!" Rhonda cried.
"Rhonda, shh," Arnold said. "Good job."
Helga's eyes widened and she paled as she looked at him. "Oh, thanks."
He watched her, puzzled. What is she thinking? he wondered, but that was like asking how many grains of sand were on a beach. He sighed.
"Are Bob and Miriam here?" she asked as Rhonda patched up her makeup.
"Not yet," he said quietly.
Her smile fell from her face, but she did not have time to say anything else. "Helga, you need to go get ready for the interview," Josh said.
"Right." She threw one last look at Arnold before walking back to Samson, who was standing beside the curtain with Callie.
"The Patakis aren't here yet?" Phoebe asked him.
"Nope," he said. He shook his head. "They're probably just running late."
"Right."
Arnold looked back at Helga, who was smiling slightly from her nervousness. This is ridiculous, he thought. "Phoebe, do you know Mr. Pataki's cell phone number?"
Phoebe shook her head. "No, but I think it's in Helga's address book. I'll go get it."
"I'll go too," Arnold said, and the two quickly walked to a dressing room that was now filled with girls. Arnold felt extremely uncomfortable as Phoebe dug through Helga's bag (Arnold had always had a problem with going through anyone's personal belongings, and Helga's stuff was definitely off-limits). He looked around the room and he noticed he was not the only boy there. Across the room a tall boy was tying his shoes. He looked extremely familiar, but Arnold could not see his face. "Phoebe, who's that guy over there?" he whispered.
Phoebe
looked up. "Where?"
"Over there," he said, but
the boy was gone.
"Arnold, please, we don't have time," Phoebe scolded as she returned to her previous task. "Here it is! Let's see. Ah, here, 555-6732."
"555-6732," Arnold repeated. "Okay, I'll go call Bob. You go back with the others. I'll be there in a little bit."
Phoebe nodded, and they walked out together (Arnold was ecstatic to get away from all the girls. He had unfortunately overheard something about a tampon, and was not wanting to hear the remainder of the conversation), she going left, and he turning right. Arnold found a phone in one of the empty rehearsal rooms, and he quickly dialed Big Bob Pataki's number.
"Hello," a high, squeaky female voice answered on the other line.
"Uh, is Bob Pataki available?" he asked the girl, whom he presumed to be Olga.
"Oh, he's not here right now, but he'll be back any second!" she finished excitedly.
"Okay. Um, Olga, this is Arnold –"
"Helga's friend?"
"Yeah, and –"
"What are you doing calling Daddy? Is Helga okay?"
"Yes, she's fine. I was just wondering –"
"Oh, good." Olga heaved a sigh of relief. "I was afraid they would have to go home so soon!"
Arnold, aggravated with being interrupted so frequently, felt the blood drain from his face. He had to have misheard her. "Go home? Aren't your parents in Hillwood City right now?"
"No, silly. They're staying with me and David in Toronto."
Rage burned throughout Arnold's body, and it was difficult for him to keep his grip on the phone as he shook with anger. How could they? HOW COULD THEY? "Oh, I see," Arnold said through clinched teeth. "I'm sorry to have bothered you."
"That's all right, Arnold. Do you still want me to tell Daddy you called?"
"No, that's not necessary," Arnold replied. Seeing as how they are three thousand miles away, he thought angrily. "Have a good evening, Olga, and Helga sends her love," he lied.
"Awe, you too, Arnold, and tell her the same from all of us."
Arnold hung up the phone, sickened by what had just happened. The worst part about it was that he now had to somehow tell Helga. Damn it.
~¤~¤~
"Thank you, Callista. "Everyone, Miss St. James High School, Callista Hayeworth."
Helga watched as Callie walked towards her. "Good luck," she said, and she left to go change. Helga sighed. She was not looking forward to the interview, but the questions had been completely simple for the other girls, so she figured it would not be horrible. She waited for the announcer to say her name.
"Now here is our final contestant, Miss West Hillwood High, Helga Pataki."
Helga took a deep breath and walked out on stage. The lights nearly blinded her as she walked to the chair that sat in between Mrs. Chadwick and Mr. Soares. She shook their hands and sat down. She could barely see the judges through the bright lights, but she could tell Johnny Stiches's eyes were fixed into her.
"Helga, it's so nice to so you in the top five," Mrs. Chadwick said.
"Well, it's an honor to have represented my school and to have gotten this far for it." Helga nearly threw up at her own words.
"Miss Pataki, I understand that you are on the varsity girls' basketball team at West Hillwood High, and you work at the Oleander Café. Do you find it difficult to juggle basketball, work, and school?" Mr. Soares asked.
Helga laughed at such a stupid question, but she figured it would just appear charming to the judges and audience, so she did not try to stop herself. "It can be at times, but I know what is most important to me, and I focus on that first. It can be hectic at times, and I have quite a few sleepless nights over the season, but I manage to make time not only for sports, my schoolwork, my friends, and my family, but also for myself." What a load of bullshit, she thought, her smile never faltering. I'd have more time for everything if I wasn't in this stupid pageant, but at least I'm getting some money out of it. Helga's smile broadened.
"That's amazing," Mrs. Chadwick said, nearly blinding Helga with her amazingly white teeth. Someone needs to lay off the white-strips, Helga thought. "I also hear that you enjoy writing poetry," she continued.
"Yes, in my spare time I write poetry. I find it to be a great way to express whatever emotions I am feeling, whether I'm happy, or sad, or angry. It's a very effective way for me to deal the stress that builds up with all of my activities. It's something that I truly love to do and would love to do professionally when I am older."
"What influences you?" Mr. Soares asked.
"Anything and everything. My writing is very personal, so it can be influenced by anything or anyone that I have come in contact with. I can be as easily influenced by the moon as I am by an article that I have read in the newspaper. I never really know what will inspire me, and I think that that adds to my writing because I can write about anything that I feel strongly about, not just about love or suffering or nature, or any subjects that writers tend to specialize in."
"Who is your favorite author, poet or novelist?" he asked.
"J.D. Salinger beyond a doubt. He once said 'What really knocks me out is a book that, when you're all done reading it, you wish the author that wrote it was a terrific friend of yours and you could call him up on the phone whenever you felt like it. That doesn't happen much, though,' and I could not agree more. Catcher in the Rye is my favorite book, and I also loved Nine Stories. His style is amazing, and I know has influence my writing, probably along with millions of others."
"That's wonderful. Now, when you were younger you were a model for a major fashion designer?" Mrs. Chadwick grinned at her.
Helga's smile fell for a moment as she was caught completely off guard. She forced a laugh. "Yes. I was actually for a brief time known as the 'It Girl' when I was about nine, but I actually chose to give it up, after I fell out of style, because someone very important to me reminded me that some things aren't worth making yourself miserable over, and looking back I feel that I made an appropriate choice. That's no type of lifestyle for any child to live, no matter how successful they become."
"Well, Miss Pataki, it's been a pleasure to have you here with us, and thank you. Ladies and gentlemen, Miss West Hillwood High, Helga Pataki," Mr. Soares said as the audience exploded into applause.
Helga walked off stage felling lighter than air. Callie hugged her tightly. "If this keeps up, we are so in the top three!" she cried.
Helga laughed. "Everything I said was so fake, though. I feel awful."
"You did great," Phoebe said.
"Thanks. Have you seen Arnold?" Helga asked Josh.
He shook his head.
"He should be coming," Phoebe said.
"Okay, well, we have to get changed. C'mon!"
Helga, Callie, Phoebe, and Rhonda quickly rushed out the door and into the hallway, and Helga nearly collided with Arnold. "There you are!" she cried.
He looked at her, not at all happy to see her. "Helga," he said softly.
"Did you see me?" she asked, her smile falling.
"No, sorry, I missed it. Pageant duties." He looked ashamed.
"Oh, that's okay. It was a load of crap anyways." She grinned. "Just don't miss the dance thingy and my talent, okay?"
"Of course not, but Helga, I need to tell you something."
She bit her lip. "Sorry, but I have to go get ready. I promise I'll talk to you later." The girls quickly rushed off, leaving Arnold. "See ya in a bit!" Helga cried. She was too excited to give much thought to what Arnold needed to tell her.
~¤~¤~
"C'mon, babe, why don't we paint the town," Helga sang as the girls performed their dance number.
"She's amazing, isn't she?" Reese asked. He, Josh, and Arnold were sitting in the tech room watching the girls.
Arnold was too depressed to be impressed with Helga's talents. He sat in silence as the other two talked.
"Are you okay, man?" Josh asked, finally remembering Arnold was still in the room.
"Sure."
"You're not still bummin' over Helga and Jake, are you?"
Reese raised an eyebrow, but said nothing.
"No." Arnold sighed. "I got a hold of Helga's sister."
"Really? So where are the brat's parents?"
"Canada."
"WHAT?"
Arnold crossed his arms and transfixed his eyes on Helga. "Olga, Helga's older sister, lives in Toronto. Bob and Miriam must have gone back with her."
Josh and Reese fell silent. "Does Helga know?" Reese asked.
"Nope," Arnold said. "And it's my lucky task to tell her." He groaned loudly and ran his hands through his hair. "How am I supposed to do that? How am I supposed to tell her on one of the most important nights of her life that her parents aren't here when she needs them because they forgot about her and are with Olga?"
The boys still had no idea what to say.
Arnold stood up. "I can't just stand here. I'm going to see if everything else is running okay." He left and headed for the theater.
Reese turned to Josh. "That boy's got a shit load of problems, doesn't he?"
"Enough stress to kill a man." Josh sighed. "I wished she'd just wake up and see what's right in front of her."
~¤~¤~
"Tonight you're mine completely. You give your love so sweetly. Tonight, the light of love is in your eyes. But will you love me tomorrow? Is this a lasting treasure? Or just a moment's pleasure? Can I believe the magic of your sighs? Will you still love me tomorrow?"
Arnold was in the back of the theater, only half listening to Callie sing. Okay, I'll just go up to her after this. I'll say, "Helga, I called your dad and Olga said they're with her in Canada, but it doesn't matter because you don't need them," then she'll go hysterical and probably beat the shit outta me. Okay, Um…
"Tonight with words unspoken, you said that I'm the only one. But will my heart be broken when the night meets the morning sun?"
"Helga, your parents aren't in Hillwood. Hell, they're not even in the country. Isn't that funny?" Then she'll say, "Hysterical," and breakdown, either hitting me or start crying uncontrollably.
"I'd like to know that your love is a love I can be sure of, so tell me now, and I won't ask again. Will you still love me tomorrow? Tell me now, and I won't ask again. Will you still love me tomorrow? Will you still love me tomorrow? Will you still love me tomorrow?"
The crowd applauded loudly, interrupting Arnold's thoughts.
"Now, our final contestant, Helga Pataki, Miss Hillwood High."
Arnold watched her walk down the stairs towards the mike. From where he stood she looked like an angel in her long, white dress. She was blushing slightly, and he could tell she was nervous, but the moment she opened her mouth she seemed to be in another world, and completely at ease.
"Can you hear it in my voice?" she started. "Was it something I let slip? Does the whole world know? Isn't it obvious?"
This was not the song she was supposed to sing. When'd she change it? Why'd she change it? A conversation slowly returned to him, and he remembered Helga saying something about how she could not sing about anything personal. Maybe she finally found a reason to…
"I'm the one who's in control. Now I'm acting like a fool. Do my feelings show? Is my face aglow? Isn't it obvious, that I don't know what I'm doing anymore? I'm feeling like a little girl. Caught up in emotions, I'm out of control. Isn't it obvious?"
Arnold had a feeling she knew exactly where he was, but she avoided looking in his direction, nor, he noticed, towards Jake. It was as if she was in a trace, telling her feelings to faceless strangers, finally allowing herself to admit what she had felt for so long. But, wait, is she…
"Do you see my hands? They tremble. Wonder why I can't look you in the eye? Don't know how long I can keep this inside. Isn't it obvious? Oh, I don't know what I'm doing anymore. I'm feeling like a little girl. Caught up in emotions, I'm out of control. Isn't it obvious? Oh and suddenly these emotions are in control of my heart. Can you see my eyes? Every glance, every smile must give me away, because I feel so much I can't hide. Oh, I don't know what I'm doing anymore. I'm feeling like a little girl. Caught up in emotions, I'm out of control. Isn't it obvious?"
Helga finished to a deafening round of applause. As for him, Arnold was dumbstruck. It was almost as if Helga had just admitted how she felt about him, but… He sighed. It could still have been for Jake, or it could have just been a song, but…. No, I know she was singing that to me. No matter what, Helga has some sort of feelings for me.
The more he thought about it, the more he understood things from her point of view. What happened tonight was a prime example. Helga cared about Jake, that was obvious, and as much as Arnold hated to admit it, Jake had very strong feelings for Helga. Still, Helga cares for me as well. She knows what it's like to be hurt by someone you love and care about since her parents have done it so many times to her. Helga doesn't want to hurt Jake, especially since he forgave her for kissing me…. and she's been acting so crazy lately because she doesn't want to hurt me either… and naturally it's my luck that I'm on the short end of the stick. So, because she's confused and has enough on her mind, she does nothing… That sounded a lot like Helga, tangling herself up in her own web until she had no clue how to get herself out.
Renewed hope filled Arnold from head to toe. She was not completely lost to him, nor completely out of reach. He just simply had to stay close to her and let her know that no matter what, he cared for her and would always be there for her. Enlightened, Arnold bolted towards backstage. He raced through the hallways, nearly knocking several people to the ground. He did not care. All he wanted to do was tell her how amazing she did and how amazing she was, without telling her that she was amazing and revealing too much, thus making her uncomfortable and giving her something else to worry about. Quite a task, but he was more than up for the challenge.
He was about to open the doors, but he stopped. Helga needed to have Big Bob escort her in the eveningwear competition, which was next. He slipped inside and faded into the shadows and away from her view as she, Rhonda, and Phoebe returned to the dressing room to prepare.
He sat down in an old directors chair and listened to a local opera singer perform. Arnold had often wondered who was worse off: he because he did not have parents, or Helga because she had such awful parents. He had always thought himself, because no matter what Helga still had Bob and Miriam, but now he was not sure. He was still surrounded with people who would do anything for him, including amazing grandparents who had been better parents to him then he could have ever imagined. Helga probably had only four people who really cared about her: her aunt who lived out east, Phoebe, Jake, and himself. It was no wonder that Helga clung to and pushed away at the same time the people she cared for the most. She really had no idea what to do.
And now I get to crush her hopes again. He put his head in his hands. It just never gets easier for us, does it?
A/N: Yippy skippy. Another chapter in the books. Chapter 24, "Perfect," is up next. I think you can figure out what it will be about. Later days.