A/N-Yami no Matsuei, Weiss Kreuz, and Gravitation are not of my own creation, I'm just borrowing these characters b/c they're just too lovable. The idea for the story is my own and the song used in the prologue is written and sung by Patrick Bruel. The translation for the song was done by me. Enjoy the fic!!!
Falling
Prologue…
Violet eyes skimmed the growing darkness and found themselves to be focused on the flashing red letters of an alarm clock. They settled there only in passing before shifting back to the shadowed form in bed. To the tousled long locks, to the green eyes he knew would be shining yet closed of emotion if they had been open, to the emotions that the Empath shared with him but to no else, to that vulnerability that was hidden behind all that…to that need…that need that he, he should stay with him … Hisoka.
A blanket had been wrapped around his shoulders gently, hours ago… when night had just begun making its way into the blue sky.
When their vacation had officially started, delaying the inevitable... the fact that the work had to be continued. To kill, to judge… missions. The fact that they would meet up again with Muraki… and at the mere thought of the silver hair and those strange eyes… a shiver ran through him. He couldn't help it.
What if…?
What if… that was the kind of love that he deserved?
I'd be lying to you
If I told you that I didn't think of it
If I told you that I didn't want to
Remember the name of that street
If I told you
My love, that I felt nothing
Heard nothing of those words not said
That at those smiles
I did not smile
I'd be lying
I'd be lying
Those violet eyes glazed over in pain as he wondered again and again why anyone would fall in love with him. What anyone could possibly see in him.
A killer, a demon… not human… His fingers curled up, tensed, the nails biting at the skin of his palm.
He felt… He was too tired to feel, to think. He wanted someone to catch him, to hold him… to tell him it was all true… to tell him it was all a lie. It didn't matter anymore. It shouldn't have mattered anymore.
Quick, I'm falling…
Will you look at me?
Will you be at the bottom
To take me where…I don't know
Where I'm not going
Steps had been taken so that these sorts of questions would have been gone… not needed and unheard of. In the flames that had engulfed him he had sensed a unique peace that had wrapped around him. Such a chance of escape… Yet a name had been called out. His name. His eyes refocused. Hisoka had called out his name, asking him to come back to him… to them…
'I need you.'
Then quickly, I'm falling
Like a puppet without a string
Too free and too fragile
I search for your hand in the clouds
To erase the memory of his face
'I need you…' Those green eyes had caught his and held. Had always held him… A sigh, soft and fragile escaped past his lips. Funny, how the first impression had been so faulty. Hisoka a stuck up brat, he himself acting like an idiot bound to be killed at the first mission.
So much had changed since then. So many of the masks and walls of deception had been torn down.
Just at the strength of those green eyes.
I d be lying to you
If I told you deep into your eyes
That your tears that are falling aren't needed
That he's just passing by
If so much had changed, why couldn't he? Why couldn't he take those few steps to close the distance that separated them? Why couldn't he bring himself to break the silence and ask for help?
Ask to be held and protected. So he could forget, forget and heal from wounds that Muraki and others had dealt him.
I'd be lying to you
And yet I've been lying to myself
To think that we were in such safety
That we were so much stronger than life
But those things
We do not know of
Funny how even after death the vulnerability stayed. Ironic really, how there was no safety… no place to hide, anywhere. Not in life, not in death… not in love. He shuddered, the cold from the night finally getting through to him even in the hotel's heated room. Tsuzuki pushed himself up from where he sat every part of his body reluctant to move… to leave. To be alone.
Quick, I'm falling…
Will you be at the bottom?
Will you wait for me…
To take me where…I don't know
To take me back towards you
The door was only a couple feet away… only so many steps to take and then he'd be on his way to his own room. Again he shuddered, hating himself for it… for the weakness within him. He didn't want to be alone. He didn't want to face the darkness alone. 'I want to be with you…'
He turned back to face Hisoka's sleeping form.
'Can I? Can I really stay with you?'
The boy had nodded, unable to find words to pass through his throat as grief and fear made it thick. That had been in the flames' embrace. But now…Would you still say yes, Hisoka? Would you?
Then quickly, I'm falling
Like a puppet without a string
Too free and too fragile
I search for your hand in the clouds
So as to not have to turn the page
His feet took him, trembling to the side of the bed, unable to make them go elsewhere… not really wanting to go elsewhere, anyhow. He sat gingerly on the side of the bed. And watched…
Hisoka was warm and looking safe… lost in a dream's embrace as the night wore on. Tsuzuki gently moved aside some thin strands of hair, amazed at how innocent the boy seemed in his sleep. Such a déjà vu from their first meeting, Hisoka drunk, needing to be carried all the way back to the hotel, for once quiet and gentle… not sarcastic and biting… or had been for a few minutes before going and muttering 'Baka' in his sleep. A smile broke out on Tsuzuki's face. 'Baka… I truly am one.' He sighed. The sound shattered something from Hisoka's dreaming mind, bringing him back to the surface. His empathy begging him to do something as pain and a need to be comforted sang through his shields.
I'd be lying to you
But to whom else could I really say this to
Without this time truly betraying you
Silence is sometimes worse
'I want you to hold me. I want you to comfort me. I want you to love me. Love me for who I am… for you to not be disgusted. For you to tell me everything's all right. But I'm scared. I'm scared you'll turn away no matter that you said you needed me. I'm scared you'll disappear and that I'll be left alone again. The walls around me are too high to climb… too thick to break… I don't want them to fall… I don't want them to break. I don't want to be weak… I don't want this need… But ever since that day, I can't hide these feeling from you any longer. Please… Please… Hisoka… I need you…'
Quick, I'm falling…
Will you be at the bottom
Will you pick me up
To take me where…I don't know
To bring me back towards you
Hisoka's eyes opened slowly, his hand reaching up and gently cupping the side of the face that was staring down at him so intently. Just as slowly, he let his hand trail down, finding Tsuzuki's hand and twining his fingers with the older man's fingers. No words were needed. None had ever been needed. The hold was tightened and he gave a little sigh.
'I need you.'
'I need you forever.'
I love you. Those were words that sang around them silently because it was too early for either of them to realize that and share the knowledge.
The hands never separated as one of them moved to make room for the other. As the movements died the silence reigned once more. Except for one last whisper… one more need to be silenced.
"Hold me…?"
"Aa." Hisoka answered gently, his hand leaving the other's only so both arms could be used to wrap themselves around the older man. "Always… You'll never have to fall alone…"
Then quickly, I'm falling
Like a thieving bird
Touched right there, in the heart
And who's still wondering why
It went that way…?
Tbc…
And yes there is a plot to this story… it'll start in the first chapter. Grins! Enjoy