Chapter 15: Never Quite the way you think
Hermione had a very strange look on her face, one that Harry had seen only on very rare occasions – when she lost against Ron at Wizard's Chess; when she couldn't get her broom to react according to her wishes; when it took her more than one read-through to understand a spell or a recipe or any sort of theory. She seemed to be appalled by what she had heard just then, yet at the same time she was obviously struggling to understand the concept underlying that speech, the belief system that had been its motivation.
Harry was just plain shocked at the mere idea of Muggles being naturally inferior to wizards. Granted, they lacked magical talent and some of them, unfortunately most of the ones he knew personally, were complete and utter bastards. On the other hand, they had managed pretty well without magic so far, making up for it with understanding natural sciences and technology in a way that no wizard could ever hope for. They were living rather comfortably – at least the ones who had the necessary financial background. And, coming to think of it, he knew at least as many wizards as Muggles who fell into the complete and utter bastard category.
Students were wandering lazily out of the Great Hall and into the bright sunshine outside, thus indicating that is was weekend at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. On any ordinary school day lunch would have been followed by a frantic stampede of hundreds of students towards their various classrooms and upcoming lessons.
On the left side of the room, at the far end of the Slytherin table, sat a dark-haired boy watching after the others. A group of elder students had just reached the huge door and a honey-haired girl walking close to the leader turned around to wave at the lonely little figure.
"Severus, come on! I promise the sun will not melt you or turn you into a pile of dust."
She gave him a big flashy smile which he returned half-heartedly while shaking his head. He fixed his eyes back on the piece of parchment in front of him and as the girl gave him one last contemplative look, he took up his quill again and continued his letter.
"I'm really busy helping Lucius and the others to prepare for their N.E.W.T.s and there is also a lot of homework to do for my own classes. Professor McGonagall demands a six-inch essay after almost every lesson and Professor Flitwick says I should work on making my wand-movements more elegant."
He leaned his head against his left hand and started twirling the quill around in his right. As he let his gaze wonder through the hall he noticed that only a few other students had decided to stay inside as well. Four boys at the Gryffindor table attracted his special attention.
Lupin was resting his head on his folded arms, his nose mere inches from the tabletop, while the boy sitting beside him, James Potter, watched him intently with a worried frown on his face. On Lupin's other side stood Sirius Black, poking him into the shoulder in five-second-intervals and talking to him seemingly non-stop. There was another boy standing there, half hidden behind Lupin and Black. He was a little chubby and decidedly smaller than the other three, probably the same size as Snape. He had ashen hair and watery pale eyes that kept flitting from Black to Potter like he was watching a very exciting Tennis match. From time to time he giggled and nodded his head frantically.
Peter Pettigrew, Harry thought as he felt his stomach clench and a sour taste rise in his throat. The traitor who was responsible for his parents' death. The little weasel that had betrayed his best friends to gain the protection and the grace of Voldemort and who was still desperately trying to always be by the side of the biggest bully in the playground. Harry wasn't sure if it was because of all the things he already knew about him, but the sight of that overweight and characterless boy made him nauseous.
At the table Lupin had taken the same posture as his past self, arms folded tightly across each other and resting on the table. Only that his face was buried in the cloth of his cloak, hiding his expression from the small world inside Grimmauld Place. Tonks was stroking his back. He neither moved nor spoke.
The young Snape had started to pack up his things, rolling up his parchment carefully and stowing it away inside his robes. He still eyed the Gryffindors, careful though not to draw their attention himself. James grabbed Sirius by the arm and pulled him away from the pale Lupin, who was still staring at the half-empty plate in front of him. There were dark shadows under his eyes. His fingernails were dirty and there were scratches on the back of his hands.
Snape waited until Potter and Black had both disappeared, the inevitable Pettigrew scampering along behind them, before he made his way past the Gryffindor table and its last lonely inhabitant. He had just passed the other boy, careful not to establish eye contact, when he suddenly stopped, inclined his head slightly to the side and asked:
"Are you all right?"
Lupin threw him a suspicious look before snapping:
"Why would you care?"
Snape opened his mouth, then closed it again and glared at the other one. Lupin finally pushed his plate back, swung his legs over the bench and stormed out of the Great Hall.
"Sometimes people need to be left alone."
The boy swirled around to find Albus Dumbledore standing behind him, his blue eyes twinkling, a smile on his wrinkled face.
"I just thought … he looks like …he might need some help", Snape stuttered nervously while trying to avoid the headmaster's gaze.
"He has all the help that he needs", Dumbledore told him and started to gently push him towards the doors, out into the sunlight. "You don't need to worry, Mr. Snape. You know, Gryffindors are always there for each other."
"So are the Slytherins", answered the boy defiantly and with a tad of hurt pride in his voice. This time he dared to look the older wizard straight in the eye, who frowned a little before recapturing his usual gentle smile.
"Yes, I've heard about that." He nodded ever so slightly. "Why don't you go and find your fellow Slytherins then, child. A little sun would be good for you, you are much too pale. I wouldn't want your parents to think we don't take proper care of you here at Hogwarts."
With that he left the boy standing in the doorframe and strode off gracefully towards his office. Snape stared after him with a look of confusion and slight anger on his face.
"I can decide for myself what to do, thank you very much", he muttered to himself as he turned around and headed towards the owlery.
During supper Snape alternated his attention between the headmaster at the teachers' table and Remus Lupin among his Gryffindor housemates, consequently neglecting his jacket potato and shepherd's pie to an extend that made Phillip Crabbe curious.
"Are you waiting for something specific to be happening?" he asked the younger Slytherin in a hushed voice. "Did you play some sort of prank and now you're waiting for the result?"
He had an eager expression on his face that didn't help to improve his looks. Snape hastily withdrew his gaze from the Gryffindor table, obviously shocked that his behaviour had attracted any sort of attention.
"No, I was just … thinking of something. It's nothing, really", he answered while trying to show some halfway genuine interest in his food.
Crabbe shrugged and returned to a discussion he had been having with Avery about their last Quidditch match against Hufflepuff. Lucius Malfoy didn't look at his younger friend as he informed him quietly:
"It's obviously not nothing. You have been staring over to the Gryffindors all evening. Did they tease you again? Hex you?"
He turned to face Snape.
"You know you just have to tell me and I'll make them pay."
The younger boy smiled at him gratefully. Then he put the fork down and shoved the plate away from him before leaning over to Lucius conspiratorially.
"No, it's got nothing to do with me. Do you see that boy over there? The one beside Potter?"
Lucius glanced up quickly and then nodded.
"I think there's something strange going on with him. Today after lunch the others were bugging him about something, especially Black, and he looks really ill. He is all pale and tired and there are scratches on his hands."
Lucius gave him a cold look.
"And why exactly does that interest you?"
"Because Dumbledore told me to keep out of it."
Both Slytherins stared at each other quietly for a while before a smile crept across Lucius' attractive face.
"You really might have something there, eagle nose. Dumbledore would do anything to protect his beloved Gryffindors. Who knows what he is trying to cover up?"
Together with the rest of their housemates they got up and started filing out of the Great Hall. Quickly, before Narcissa could make her way through the crowd towards them, Lucius whispered:
"Look, with the N.E.W.T.s coming up and all I have no time to help you, but I would love to know what is going on. If you find out anything, let me know, ok?"
Snape nodded. That moment Narcissa had caught up with them, slinging her arm around Lucius' waist and ruffling the younger boy's hair affectionately with her free hand.
"Well, boys, ready for another revision-session? I'm really starting to feel like I can do this."
"Severus will not be able to join us this time, 'Cissa", Lucius said as he threw a smug smile in Snape's direction. "He has got some research to do."
Harry relaxed slightly. Yes, this was better. This was the Snape he knew, always sticking his overtly large nose into things that were none of his business. And for what reason? Not out of real interest or pity. Just because Albus Dumbledore had told him not to, just to make trouble, just to find something he could use against Gryffindor.
But then – why had he stopped and asked Lupin if everything was all right with him in the first place?
The ranks around the Quidditch pitch were empty except for a few scattered spectators here and there. Single players from all four teams were racing across the afternoon sky, some testing their broomstick's manoeuvring capability, others going for speed. There was astonishingly little competition in the air. Everybody seemed to be enjoying himself.
Snape was slowly making his way from one of the top rows to one further down where Lupin was sitting all by himself, watching James Potter and Sirius Black race each other at neck breaking speed. The young Slytherin took a deep breath, as if bracing himself, and then climbed onto the bench beside his Gryffindor classmate. He carefully avoided looking at the other one directly but kept his attention seemingly on the slightly chaotic activities a couple of feet above their heads.
"Since when do you care about Quidditch?" Lupin snapped at him. He started to inch away slowly from the other boy, wincing slightly with the movement.
"You seem to know awfully well what I care about", the smaller boy answered softly and looked at the other one with the hint of a smile.
"But if you must know – I didn't come here to watch those arrogant pricks showing off. I was looking for you, because I wanted to give you this."
He held out a small jar that contained a slightly glowing blue liquid. Lupin didn't show any intention of taking it.
"What's that for?"
Snape still held out the jar, his hand steady, while he kept his eyes fixed on the other one.
"It's a potion that will make your scratches disappear a lot faster than the stuff that they give you in the hospital wing. My father developed the recipe. It works, believe me."
He dared his smile to become a little broader and set the jar down on the bench between himself and the Gryffindor.
"How do I know it's not going to turn me into a toad or something?"
Lupin eyed the jar suspiciously and started nibbling at one of the crusts on his hand.
"We have played so many pranks on you in the last two years, how can I be sure that this is not some sort of revenge?"
Snape shrugged.
"You can't, really. But then, think about it, would I give it to you openly, if it was some sort of practical joke? That's not Slytherin style and you know it. Besides", he added and glanced up at Black and Potter still circling above his head, "you were never the one to hex me, to make me trip, or drop things. You never raised your hand."
There was an indefinable undertone to his voice, not quite a threat, but something close to a dare. Lupin didn't take the challenge. He merely took the jar, placed it carefully inside his well-worn robes and continued to watch his flying friends.
"Maybe I'm not the only one that they play jokes on, those two."
Snape had said this very quietly. It hadn't even been a question. Lupin was on his feet in a split second and grabbed the considerably smaller boy by the collar of his robes. He pulled the pale face with the much too prominent nose close to his equally pale face and said in a deadly whisper:
"They are my friends and they would go through the fire for me. Maybe you are not familiar with the concept of friendship. All you ever do is lick up to Lucius Malfoy and his gang. What will you do when they leave after this year? Is that why you have been trying to be friendly with me lately? Because they are leaving and all the other Slytherins will stop noticing you once they are gone? You can forget that, because I would never want to be friends with someone like you."
Snape's lip had started to twist in a most unattractive fashion and he was fighting back tears – maybe of hurt, possibly of anger. He pushed the taller boy hard against the chest and made him stumble over the bench. Lupin fell backwards and hit his head on the bench behind him. The jar in his pocket shattered and the liquid soaked the side of his cloak. As Snape was just climbing down the ladder towards the ground, tears still making his vision blurry, something suddenly grabbed him from behind. He felt himself lifted into the air and heard the hateful voice of Sirius Black.
"I don't know what you did to him, but I'm sure it was intended to hurt. Well, so is this."
The grip on his back was suddenly released and he tumbled towards the meadow below. He obviously hadn't been that high up, for the painful sound of flesh hitting solid ground came rather soon. He grimaced and pulled his right arm towards him. Judging from the unhealthy angle in which the hand now connected with the wrist that hand was broken. On the rank above Black had just landed beside his two friends. James was sitting beside Remus, listening as the other one obviously told his story. The hurt Slytherin on the ground didn't wait to see the end of it but started limping towards the castle as fast as possible.
Tonks had stopped stroking Lupin's back and stared at him with a look of bewilderment. He still didn't move and wouldn't look up, no matter how many people would start whispering to him, telling him that it was not that bad, that it had been only childish behaviour.
Only that it was more than that, at least to Harry. For once in his life Lupin had stood up and Harry was proud to see that it had been for his friends. But why with this spiteful vigour? Why with so much aggression? Maybe he had been close to his transformation, Harry wondered, desperate to find some sort of explanation. In the memories before he hadn't had the impression that Lupin had shared his father's and godfather's loathing for Snape. He had been rather indifferent, careful to keep out of things. This had been totally unexpected.
Against the wall, between the very quiet Bill Weasley and Mad Eye Moody, Snape straightened himself slightly, his eyes still closed.
A dark haired boy was slowly walking across the entrance hall, past the door to the Great Hall and towards the staircase leading to the hospital wing. There was a slightly dirty, formerly white cast around his right arm, but he wasn't limping anymore. Behind him the door to the Great Hall opened and Narcissa Black came out, dragging a moaning Lucius Malfoy after her.
"Narcissa, please, give me one evening of break. If I have to go over the goblin battles with you one more time I will probably have to rip out my eyes. Or to kill you", he added after a thoughtful pause. Snape, who had halted on the first landing, smiled.
"Hey, there is our Mastermind! Severus, you surely wouldn't mind listening to Narcissa rambling on about names and dates and places and correcting her from time to time when she got it wrong?"
The blond teenager grinned hopefully and elegantly avoided a not very well aimed blow against his shoulder. Snape chuckled to himself before nodding at both of them.
"Sure. I just have to get rid of this stupid cast and then I'll be with you in about half an hour."
"Thanks, eagle nose, you are really saving my life", Lucius answered while grabbing both of Narcissa's arms to keep her from pinching him. "By the way, revising with her for Professor Binns is much less dangerous than riding that broomstick of yours. You might fall asleep and off the chair, but you wouldn't break your hand like that. Especially not in three different places."
The boy gave a forced smile, turned around and continued his way up towards the hospital wing. When he got in Madame Pomfrey was in rather a hurry, taking care of a boy in a bed at the farthest end of the room. There was no way to tell who he was.
"Mr. Snape!" Madame Pomfrey exclaimed when she saw him. "I nearly forgot about you. Come here, quickly."
She grabbed him round his waist and lifted his scrawny body onto the nearest bed, ignoring his scornful look. She started collecting several jars onto the bedside table. A couple of swift wand-movements later the cast was gone, revealing rather crimpled skin and a nasty dark bruise. The nurse applied two different lotions onto the damaged area, forced a large quantity of a glimmering blue potion down the boy's throat and then lightly clapped him on the back.
"There you go, young man. Almost as good as new. I should really thank your father for that recipe."
She noticed his shocked expression as soon as the words had left her mouth and pulled him into a short but firm embrace, which caused the frown on his face to deepen.
"Don't worry, I won't write to him. And I don't really want to know why he felt the need to develop that potion in the first place, do I?"
He steadily avoided her gaze and did his best to slowly inch out of her reach, lest she might grab him another time. She smiled at him affectionately, but her eyes were worried.
"I'm sorry that I don't have more time for you today, Severus. I'm in a real hurry. But maybe you'd like to come by for tea and biscuits on Saturday? We haven't chatted in a long time and you have to update me on your potions' research assignment."
With that she strode off to the other boy in the other bed. Snape hurried out of the hospital wing as fast as his skinny legs would carry him.
As he crossed the entrance hall and the door into the Great Hall again Sirius Black suddenly stepped out of the shadows and into his way. The Slytherin boy started reaching for his wand, but he was right handed and his reflexes had been slowed down by the injury-induced lack of practice. Black reached not for his wand, but for the other boy's hand, grabbing it hard around the still slightly swollen wrist. Snape drew a sharp breath as obviously new pain shot through the just healed extremity; he stopped struggling and looked up at Black.
"So, I see the cast is gone. Poor Snivelly, now you have no excuse anymore for not taking a shower."
Snape glared at the taller boy, not daring to give any smug reply as long as his hand was still at the other one's mercy.
"You know, I thought, since you were so keen on finding out where Remus gets his scratches from, maybe you would like to join us tonight? We all meet up, me, James and Peter, and have a little fun with our friend Remus. Care to join in? Of course you would have to be brave enough to walk up to the Whomping Willow, prod the knot on the tree-trunk with a long stick and follow the path that you will see then. So, I guess I won't be seeing you later this evening."
He casually let go of Snape's wrist and wandered off without another look at the other boy. Snape was breathing heavily, holding his hand, as he made his way down towards the dungeons.