Chapter 17: Little Moments of Triumph

Harry tore his gaze away from the shocked Lupin. Mrs. Weasley had left her husband's side and was moving around the table, towards Dumbledore. Deadalus Diggle held out a hand to stop her.

"This has gone far enough", she whispered sharply and even Harry, who didn't know her as well as her children did, heard the anger in her voice. If looks could have killed, Diggle would have been but a pile of ashes on the floor by now.

"Too many people in this room are getting hurt by this and I, for my part, don't need to see more. It's already way past anything I ever wanted to know about this man."

"Not for me, it isn't", Moody growled in a low voice, looking at her with his normal eye while the magical one stayed fixed on the Potions Master beside him. "I'm too close to finally getting answers I've been waiting for since I first encountered him. Besides, do you want all this to be for nothing? Snape will react rather harshly to this, I presume, so we should try to make the most of it while we still can."

Harry found Moody more dislikeable by the minute and obviously Mrs. Weasley thought the same way. Her determined attempt to argue was surprisingly prevented by her husband, though.

"He's right, Molly", Arthur Weasley said regretfully while putting an arm around his wife's shoulder. "We've gone too far already. Besides, I don't think it's a good idea to interrupt their connection. One of them has to do it, I guess, if we don't want more harm to be done."

Harry hadn't even thought about that possibility. What would happen if their connection was interrupted externally now, by force? Would one of them suffer some kind of brain damage? Or both of them? Would it be even possible to break a spell that a wizard as strong as Albus Dumbledore had cast?

He decided that he didn't want to find out.

The ranks around the Quidditch pitch were packed with students. Snape sat beside Lucius Malfoy, both of them wearing green and shouting encouragements for their team. At the edge of their bench Narcissa sat with her forefingers pressed firmly into her ears, a book open on her knees. Her lips were moving while she read.

"And Patrick Brandon caught the Snitch! Slytherin wins!"

The commentator sounded rather excited and decidedly less disappointed than Lee Jordan would have under similar circumstances. The crowd around Snape and Malfoy cheered. One boy had started jumping up and down excitedly, pushing Narcissa in the back in the process. The book dropped off her knees and disappeared, tumbling down towards the ground underneath the wooden construction. Cursing loudly she pushed the cheering boys out of the path and made her way down to retrieve the volume. Lucius was on his way to follow her, but Snape held him back. The boy was grinning all over his face and there was an unusual tinge of colour to his cheeks.

"What?" Lucius demanded, somewhere between curious and annoyed. "The game is over. What are you waiting for?"

Snape stood on the bench now and looked down onto the pitch excitedly.

"I just want to catch a look at the guys who clean up after the match. I think they don't get appreciated the way they ought to."

Lucius threw him a suspicious look.

"How long have you been in the sun today, eagle nose? You know you're not used to it, maybe you've got sunstroke."

He moved closer to his housemate and tried to mockingly lay a hand on the boy's forehead. Snape, however, waved it away impatiently, a gesture that earned him a dangerously glowering look, and pointed down.

"There, there! Do you see him? My God, he really has to do it!"

A boy shuffled reluctantly across the sand, picking up twigs that some of the brooms had lost during the game, and made his way towards the Slytherin changing rooms. His head hung down and he kicked at innocent pebbles with a vigour that suggested extreme disappointment – or anger.

"Is that … Sirius Black?" Lucius asked in amazement, his anger at the other boy momentarily forgotten. Snape looked at him with a joyful expression on his flushed face.

"Yep. Sirius Black. The new responsible for the Quidditch robes of the Slytherin team. Getting them clean, keeping them in order, that's his job now for the rest of the term."

"What did he do to deserve that?" Lucius was still staring after the figure that slowly made its way inside the small building at the other end of the pitch. Snape raised an eyebrow, did his best to look innocent and shrugged, a big mischievous smile still on his face.

"Who knows?"

Together the boys finally climbed down and joined Narcissa in her by now desperate search for the lost book. After banging their heads several times against the wooden beams and laughing at each other's clumsiness they finally found it and headed back towards the castle. Snape was almost skipping.

"Do you already know if you'll go home over Christmas, Severus?" Narcissa asked the uncharacteristically cheerful boy. "Because, if you don't … you see … Lucius and Phillip and Gerard and me, we're staying … and maybe you could …"

"What Narcissa wants to know", Lucius interrupted the girl's stutters "is if you would consider sacrificing Christmas with your parents to join us here and help us learn for the N.E.W.T.s."

The boy stopped skipping and kept on walking normally beside his friends.

"I guess it would be ok", he answered after a few seconds. "I already wrote to them that I'm helping you and that I also have a lot of work to do myself. I'll just ask them and if father agrees, I'll sign up for staying here as well. They probably won't even miss me", he added quietly.

The two 7th year Slytherins linked arms with him on either side.

"That, my friend, is mighty generous of you", Lucius declared in a mock-aristocratic accent. "If your parents don't know how to appreciate your presence, let me assure you that we do, immensely to be precise. We are much obliged to you for your kindness, sir."

He attempted to bow down while walking, which resulted in all three of them stumbling.

"Lucius, be sensible", Narcissa chided her friend when she had caught her balance again. Then she turned her beautiful face towards the younger boy.

"Seriously, Severus, I appreciate your help very much. I wouldn't know what to do without you."

Snape smiled shyly.

"How about you tell your parents about Slytherin's very own new grounds man in your next letter as well?" Lucius suggested playfully as they entered the castle and made their way down towards the dungeons. "I somehow have the feeling that your father is the kind of person to appreciate the subtle irony. He knows Black's mother, as I understand it", Narcissa nodded a positive "so he might even be able to find out how the bastard earned that much sought after position. Black's mom doesn't speak to Narcissa's family right now, because of … well, you know, the thing with Andromeda."

Narcissa shot him a sharp, yet at the same time hurt look, burst into tears and started running away into the opposite direction. Lucius sighed.

"I don't know what I hate more, her stupid sensitive feelings or my stupid big mouth."

He smiled ruefully at his younger friend and then casually jogged after the crying girl.

Snape had a very odd expression on his face. Thoughts were seemingly racing through his mind at lightning speed and adding up to something that he didn't like in the least. He stood in the hallway irresolutely for another minute before he slowly turned around and walked back up again, out of the dungeons, up to the entrance hall and up another staircase. His head was lowered and his eyes seemed to be focused on something inside of himself. He walked steadily on until he came to a halt outside the headmaster's office. Raising his head he noticed that there was no door handle, not even a door, no way to make his presence noticed. There was just this averagely ugly gargoyle which seemed to be smirking at him.

"Now where is that bloody door that's always supposed to be open for me?" he muttered annoyed while his fingers searched the gargoyle's stone body for any sign of a button or a lever. With a little squeaking noise the gargoyle turned its ugly head and a staircase appeared which started rotating upwards, carrying a very confused Severus Snape with it.

Harry remembered that feeling well. It was bewildering, this sensation of being transported upwards by seemingly solid stone. You couldn't really decide if you were moving or the world around you. The first time he had been on that staircase he had nearly stumbled off and he wondered to this day what would have happened then. Would the movement have stopped? Or would the stairs have crashed those particular bones of his that would have been in the way?

Snape steadied himself by resting his hand on the rotating inner pillar. When the stairs came to a halt he took a hasty step into the room, giving the once again solid stone a slightly angry look.

"You didn't do that last time. You were just there, without moving. If I have a choice, I would prefer that way next time."

A little noise behind him made him turn around carefully and he ducked down just in time to avoid a collision with a huge swooping bird. Red feathers touched his face lightly and the phoenix twittered in a voice surprisingly high for such a large creature.

"Fawkes is a very friendly fellow, Mr. Snape. He just wanted to take a closer look at you."

Albus Dumbledore elegantly walked down a flight of stairs that the boy hadn't noticed before. As the headmaster strolled towards his desk, gesturing at the Slytherin to sit down, Fawkes took another attempt at landing on the boy's shoulder. This time he succeeded. Long talons carefully gripped the thin shoulder blades and one of the wings seemed to caress a slightly flushed cheek. Snape placed his hands on the chairs backrest in a firm grip, doing his best to ignore the bird.

"I think I will not be able to keep the secret about Lupin", he said with a steady voice and looked the headmaster directly into the eyes. The older wizard leaned forward slightly.

"Is that the statement of a fact, Mr. Snape? Or a threat?"

The boy shook his head and finally sat down, Fawkes still on his shoulder.

"You said you don't know my father, sir. Then let me tell you a few things about him. He is used to being in control of everything and everyone near him. He doesn't accept disobedience. He doesn't accept being contradicted. And he doesn't accept secrets. He has his ways of finding out everything he wants to know without even asking. It's like … he somehow looks into my mind … I can't really …"

The boy's voice had become lower and lower until in the end it was almost inaudible. Fawkes attempted to nibble his ear affectionately, but Dumbledore waved the bird away. The old wizard got up, walked around the still chaotic desk and positioned himself right in front of the clearly embarrassed boy. A couple of chocolate frogs boxes tumbled to the floor as his cloak brushed across the tabletop.

"Does he perform Legilimens on you?" he asked quietly.

Snape nodded.

"How often?"

The boy shrugged.

"Every time he thinks I'm hiding something. When he has the feeling I might not have acted according to his wishes. When he wants to find out if I studied hard enough."

Dumbledore's expression was unreadable, though there seemed to be an angry spark in his twinkling blue eyes.

"And now you are afraid that on your return home he will find out what you know about Mr. Lupin."

"I know he will", Snape answered gravely, his eyes still fixed on the worn out rug underneath his feet. "It's a kind of routine check when I come home from school. Spares him the discomfort of asking me how my term was and actually listen to me."

Dumbledore looked at him thoughtfully.

"And what are you asking me to do now, Mr. Snape? Do you want my permission to stay here at Hogwarts over the holidays? Over Christmas that is easily done and I'm sure we could find a solution for the summer as well. It might not be such a bad idea for you to remain absent from your father's house for a while."

Snape shook his head and looked up again.

"No, sir. I don't want to leave my mother alone with him for too long."

The headmaster nodded.

"Then what can we do? How can I help you, child?"

The boy took a deep breath and wiped his obviously sweaty hands on his cloak.

"Can you teach me how to block him, how to keep him out of my mind?"

There was a moment of silence in which only the boy's heavy breathing could be heard. His eyes rested on the headmaster expectantly, almost desperately. Finally, after what must have seemed like an eternity to Snape, Dumbledore nodded.

"Actually you are a little young to receive a training like that. However I must admit that there seems to be a necessity for it. Would you like to start right now?"

"No wonder he was good enough to teach you, Harry", Hermione whispered excitedly. "He started training really early on and he had the best teacher."

She sounded impressed.

Harry felt a twinge of anger. Why hadn't Dumbledore offered to teach him? Why had he given the duty to Snape? Surely the headmaster would have been the better and more patient teacher. Surely with him Harry would have mastered Occlumency faster, would have fought off the urge to find out more about that room and the shiny orbs and all the other things he had seen through Voldemort's eyes. And surely his training would have been less painful.

Inside the bubble Snape had just crumpled down onto the floor, pressing both of his hands to his temples. Dumbledore walked over to him slowly and tucked his wand away.

"You have to change your defences, child. They are strong, but of the wrong kind."

He helped the boy up with a steady hand.

"It's like you lock a huge iron door, which does keep me out effectively. I haven't been able to penetrate them after the first time. However, it's also a dead giveaway that you, in fact, have something to hide, something that needs to be locked away."

The boy sighed heavily.

"You have to try and make your shields more subtle", the headmaster went on. "Try to draw a curtain over you thoughts, preferably one made of the same material as an invisibility cloak. Then I will only be able to see what you allow me to see – and I will not even be aware of the possibility that there might be more."

Snape seemed to ponder on that for a while. The characteristic frown between his brows had appeared and he looked like he was extremely displeased with himself.

"Relax, child."

Dumbledore's voice was soft and low and had attainted a slightly lulling quality. Snape closed his eyes and forced his breathing to come more evenly. He was swaying slightly, but after a few seconds he found his balance and stood still. The tension seemed to drip off his shoulders. His whole skinny frame seemed to soften.

Dumbledore's wand appeared back in his hand and he whispered:"Legilimens."

Snape's brow twitched slightly, the rest of his face, however, stayed calm. He opened his eyes, but instead of looking at the headmaster he rested his gaze on Fawkes. The bird gave an appreciative squawk and the boy smiled.

Dumbledore opened his eyes and smiled as well.

"Very good, Mr. Snape. Indeed, most impressive. I don't think I ever had a student who grasped that concept so fast. Shall we meet again, let's say, next Thursday?"

Snape nodded and bowed his head slightly, before waving goodbye to the phoenix and disappearing down the staircase. He had a triumphant look on his face.