Chapter 19: With the best intention

"Well, Hogwarts would have been one alternative"muttered a rather shaken Ginny. She was shuddering slightly and pulled the blanket closer around her shoulders. Hermione shook her head.

"You can't just find your way to Hogwarts", she explained in a low voice. "At least not as a student. Don't you remember your first year? Ron and Harry had to follow the Hogwarts Express in that stupid flying car, because they just didn't know in which direction to look for the school. I have been studying all the books available on the subject and I couldn't even tell you in which part of England it is."

Harry perfectly understood that dilemma. Running away from the Dursleys had often seemed tempting. Unfortunately the temptation had never been accompanied by any idea of an alternative dwelling, since he didn't even know how to find his way to The Burrow, let alone to a secret wizarding school that he had only ever reached thanks to the help of magically powered vehicles.

A decidedly taller Severus Snape was just entering the hospital wing carrying a bag that appeared to be heavy. As he walked the bag's contents emitted a tinkling sound as if glass bottles were touching each other lightly.

"Severus! What a pleasant surprise!" Madame Pomfrey exclaimed upon seeing the Slytherin. She strode over to him with long yet graceful strides, her robes swishing prettily. She had been a very attractive woman. When she reached the boy she looked at him critically. Reaching up she tried to push a strand of black hair from his face, but he took a quick step back and out of her reach.

"I have something for you."

He held up the bag and moved with it towards the nurse's desk in the back of the room where he unpacked several bottles, vials and jars.

"I thought I might as well do something useful during detention and brewing potions for you is definitely more constructive than copying half the textbook."

His voice had dropped dramatically and almost sounded like the dreaded thunder his students feared today.

"You had detention again?" Poppy gave him an accusing look, her fists resting on her hips.

"How on earth do you get drawn into all those fights? Did no one ever teach you the strategy of feeling superior and just walking away?"

Snape turned around and faced her with a raised eyebrow.

"Why do you automatically assume that I get drawn into these fights? Am I not the type for starting it in the first place?"

He looked rather indignant.

"No, what I mean is that trouble usually finds you before you have a chance to go out and look for it."

This time he did not back away as she reached up and stroked his face gently.

Snape had just started to head towards the door when Minerva McGonagall entered the hospital wing. She was sneezing violently and every time she did so tiny explosions of green smoke erupted from her ears. The young Slytherin was just walking past her when another blast made her handkerchief disintegrate into tiny bits that fluttered towards the floor. She sighed heavily and started searching her robes for a substitute; her student, however, proved to be faster. His slightly grey handkerchief pressed against her swollen nose and Snape himself steadying her by the elbow she made her way to a nearby bed on which she sank heavily. Madame Pomfrey was already scuttling over, three bottles pressed against chest.

"Don't worry, Minerva, you are not the first one today. If I get those rascals who made up that spell I swear I will remove all of their bones and then grow them back again. Luckily I know the trick by now, you will be out of here again in a minute. Severus, could you hold this for me?"

She had just been handing him one of the bottles when Snape's left hand suddenly started to shake violently. The trembling spread through his entire body in a couple of seconds, causing him to drop the bottle. He caught himself on the bed's metal rail just in time. McGonagall stared at him with a look of utter shock; she hardly noticed that the fumes coming out of her ears had changed from green to deep crimson. With sure hands Poppy led the boy to another bed, wiped away the blood that had started running from his nose and placed a curtain around his bed.

"Just rest for a second, okay? And before you leave from here I want you to eat something."

He nodded and she left. From behind the curtain whispers could be heard as McGonagall obviously demanded to know what had happened just then. Snape closed his eyes and pressed his hands against his temples.

"What was that all about?" Hermione whispered. She had stopped biting her fingernails and settled on twirling her hair around a finger instead.

Harry had a vague idea. After learning about Neville's parents and their fate he had read up on a few medical details about torture – Hermione had accused him of having a slightly perverted taste in literature at that time – and therefore he knew that continued use of the Cruciatus curse could often result in sudden spontaneous tremors.

Snape hesitantly opened one eye as he heard the curtain being drawn. Professor McGonagall gave him a piercing look and he closed his eye again.

"Why didn't you tell anyone?"

Her voice sounded calm, matter-of-factly.

"Poppy knew", he answered. He was still resting on the bed and his eyes were still closed. The Professor didn't seem to mind.

"You can't go back there and I don't want any discussion about that. I'll talk to Professor Dumbledore and we will arrange for you to stay in school over the Christmas holidays. In the meantime we will present your case to somebody from the Ministry and make them take a decision. Do you have any relatives that could take you in?"

Slowly he opened his eyes and looked at her.

"There will be no discussion, because I will not stay here. There are no relatives who could or would take me in and the fact that you even ask me that shows that you know absolutely nothing about my situation. Professor Dumbledore already offered me to stay over the holidays. I declined and he accepted that. So should you."

She sat down on the bed beside him and sighed heavily. Suddenly she looked very tired. Carefully she rested a hand on his arm and he didn't try to move away. None of them said anything for a while.

"Mr. Snape, I have seen you walk into this school at the start of every new term looking like a freshly released prisoner, pale, undernourished and forlorn. And your first way leads you almost always into the hospital wing. I have seen you walk out of this school at the end of every term a little bit stronger, a little bit more upright and a little bit more proud. I can' t help but drawing the conclusion that this school is good for you, while the place you go to from here is not good for you. And I want good things to happen to my students, especially to the ones as bright and talented as you. Let me help you. Please."

Harry hadn't known she could be like this. Minerva McGonagall was an excellent teacher and a devoted head of house and he had never doubted for a single second that she had a place in her heart for all of her students. The sound of her voice right now had surprised him, nevertheless. This was the sound he had always assigned to a mother.

Snape swung his legs around and sat beside his teacher for a moment. His head was level with hers, yet he still took to the boyish gesture of looking down at the tips of his shoes.

"If it was just me and him I would have asked to stay here already in my first year. But it's not. I am the only one she has, even if she doesn't realise that. I cannot leave her alone."

His dark eyes were calm and determined.

"As long as she stays I will stay."

Sweat was slowly dripping from Dumbledore's nose onto the carpet in Grimmauld Place. A deep frown had buried itself between the headmaster's brows, a visible sign of the enormous fight that was going on inside the man's mind.

Snape's face looked equally tense, yet something had changed. Harry couldn't put his finger on it. Bill Weasley still hadn't released his grip on the Potion Master's arm and Alastor Moody seemed more determined than ever to hear this story until the end. Snape's eyes were still closed, his hands still clenched into fists, his back still against the wall.

But the look of pain was gone.

Without knowing why Harry was suddenly sure.

"He is editing now. He decides what we see."

The door to the headmaster's office flew open and in stormed a very agitated Severus Snape. His eyes were blazing and he seemed to literally shake with anger.

"What the hell does he think he is doing?" he demanded loudly as he came to halt in front of the desk. Minerva McGonagall looked up at him with a stern expression.

"First of all I would prefer it if you didn't talk about the headmaster in that tone, Mr. Snape. Second, this is no way to enter any room, let alone the office of Albus Dumbledore. If you calm down, I will inform you of the steps the headmaster has taken."

Ignoring her calm voice and firm words he pressed his hands flat on the tabletop, leaned down and looked her directly into the eyes.

"Sirius Black just informed me and a corridor full of students that Professor Dumbledore was on a rescue mission to save my mistreated mother from my dangerously eccentric father. Naturally I came here immediately to thank the brave hero for trying to save my obviously deranged family. Now where is he?!"

Harry and the others knew that sound only too well. Snape's favourite weapon was sarcasm, preferably delivered in either a deadly whisper or an arrogantly calm voice. He only ever yelled when he was beside himself with rage, when he was on the verge of losing control.

"I had to inform him about your situation, Mr. Snape. I would never have forgiven myself had you not returned to school one day."

There was a deep sadness in her eyes as she finally rose from her chair and met the angry boy's gaze.

"The headmaster wasn't willing to take that risk, either, yet we both didn't want to ignore your choice. So right now he is talking to your mother, trying to persuade her to move into a little cottage near Hogsmeade, for her own protection as well as yours."

Snape stared at her in disbelief. Just then Fawkes left his customary place and flew over to the door, landing neatly on Albus Dumbledore's shoulder. The old wizard looked tired and bruised. There was a long scratch across his left cheek on which the Phoenix was just applying his very own healing potion. Snape looked at the older man in horror.

"You will stay here at Hogwarts over the coming holidays, Mr. Snape. You will have your own chambers and free access to all the school's facilities. We will talk about the detailed arrangements later, because right now …."

"What happened?"

The boy's voice was down to a dangerous whisper.

"What did he do to her? What did you make him do to her?"

Dumbledore pulled himself up again and straightened his shoulders.

"Your mother chose to remain with your father. They both literally cursed me out of the house. Neither of them wants to see you again."

He looked at the young Slytherin with wet eyes.

"I'm so sorry, child."

Snape opened his mouth as if to say something. His hand reached into his pocket, fingering his wand. Then, without another word, he stormed out of the office.

The next thing they saw in the bubble was a short letter, written in red ink on luxurious paper.

Traitors will find no place in our house or our hearts. You have found yourself a powerful protector and you have done so wisely, for should I ever catch you out of the walls of Hogwarts I will do what I should have done ten years ago.

I mistook you for being worth more than your sister and that was a mistake. You know I rarely make mistakes and if I do, I correct them.

You have neither the brain nor the heart of a wizard and I deeply regret not to have realised that earlier.

There was no address or signature. Snape folded up the piece of parchment with extreme care and placed it in a dog-eared book which he then locked in the trunk at the end of his bed. His eyes were hard and cold as he made his way from the Slytherin common room into the library. On his way there he passed Minerva McGonagall and even though she very much tried to catch his eye he walked past her without so much as a glance.