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Tapestry - Chapter 18
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I opened my eyes to see sparkling blue water with the sun setting behind it. It took me a couple of moments to realize where I was, but once I did, everything that had happened that day came flooding back.
Gads. I felt as though entire days were being crammed into one or two smaller hours.
And now someone was knocking at my door. Actually, rapping would be more accurate. I unfolded myself from the chair, rose stiffly, and hobbled over to the door.
Opening the door a crack, I saw a young woman standing smartly at attention on the opposite side. Her cropped dark hair dangling across her face with a bright, cheerful smile.
"Yes...?" I said, cautiously peering at her.
"Dinner time, ma'am. I was sent to see if you were well enough to join them."
I blinked at her. "Ah .. well .. yes, I think so." I looked down at my clothes. "I should probably change, though -"
"I don't see why. Nobody else is," she chimed in, still smiling her megawatt smile. "It's all very relaxed. But if you're well, I'll send notice that you can come down for dinner. If not, Treize-sama will have food sent up to you."
I stared at her. I didn't remember anyone saying Treize's name with that kind of inflection except for Une; and privately, I thought Une was obsessed with him. The way she looked at him when we disembarked yesterday was enough to send chills down MY spine. Ick.
"Well ... all right. I'll come down with you, then." My head still ached a little, and I wasn't all the way awake, but .. feh. Really, there wasn't much of a choice. And it would give me another chance to see Wufei.
The young soldier nodded happily and strode down the hallway, not waiting to see if I was following her or not.
Sighing, I followed her. Yet another fun-filled evening awaited me.
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She led me downstairs and took me in a completely different direction. I hadn't been in this room before - it was light and comfortable, like the rest of the house, and not at all formal. Decorated in a Savannah style, much of the furniture was wicker. Plants of every variety and color overflowed the room, giving it the air of a small, carefully controlled jungle.
It was lovely - the feeling of openness that pervaded the mansion continued here. There was a smallish table set at the opposite end of the room, where Treize and Wufei were standing and talking. I noticed four place settings, and wondered who the fourth was that would be joining us. Certainly, not this young girl leading me over to them.
"Sally! It is so good to see you!"
Treize absolutely beamed at me as he walked forward and took my hands in his. "How are you feeling? Are you well enough to join us? I certainly don't want you feeling any pressure to do so ..."
I glanced at the young woman with us, who was now giving adoring looks at the general. I snorted softly to myself - obviously, her circuits overloaded long ago. She had that "ooooo" look about her that reminded me of Une.
Shuddering delicately, I looked up at Treize and said with a small smile, "I'm feeling well now, thank you. Well enough to join you, if that's all right."
"But of course, my dear, that's perfectly all right." Still beaming, he put one hand behind my back and gently steered me to the table, then pulled a chair out for me.
"Ah ... thank you, Treize," I murmured, remembering my manners just in time. "Hello, Wufei," I said, looking across the table and smiling at him.
Wufei nodded back at me. Out of the corner of my eye I saw someone enter the room from a different doorway and walk briskly toward the table. Treize was just settling me in my chair when I turned and saw who the other person was.
Lady Une.
My smile froze in place as I mentally kicked myself for not expecting something like this from him. And from her expression of utter and absolute loathing, it appeared that she wasn't prepared to see me, either.
Heh. Surprises for the guests all around, hmm?
"Lady Une! I'm so glad you could join us. Please, have a seat." Treize gestured at the open chair next to me with a gracious wave and smile as he moved to the opposite end of the table.
My gaze shifted to Treize as he took his seat next to me. "What a pleasant surprise," I said insincerely, wishing the ground would open and swallow BOTH of them simultaneously.
But would Fate work for me? Not on your life. They were both still sitting on either side of me. Feh.
Une took her seat, her back ramrod straight, pulled her chair in herself, and sent a sweeping glare across the table at me and Wufei.
Wufei, for his part, glared right back with a look that could have melted steel.
"Now, now ... none of that," Treize said, raising his eyebrow. "We agreed. Salad?"
I swung my gaze over to Une, looking at her critically. Your hair's pulled back too tight, Une. It'll give you headaches, as sure as I'm sitting here.
A small smile tugged at Treize's lips as he served the salad himself, passing bowls around the table. "I'm sorry for the informality, ladies and gentlemen, but I simply couldn't handle another formal evening. Please - relax, and enjoy yourself."
Une seemed rather scandalized that Treize was actually serving the salad - I suppose she thought there should be a servant doing that. I watched with great interest as Une stabbed her salad into submission; in fact, I nearly laughed as I watched her kill a cherry tomato. In contrast, Wufei was eating calmly, I was simply trying to blend into the background, and it appeared that Treize was watching everyone and enjoying himself immensely.
What a weird little group.
Treize, of course, was the perfect host, doing his best to engage everyone in conversation. He had deftly changed the topic of conversation several times; now he was discussing his plans for Friday, which was tomorrow. I had stopped listening a while ago, and was simply smiling and nodding - but I was vaguely surprised to realize, again, that I had only been awake since late Monday afternoon. This was Thursday evening - so all in all, I had only really been awake for three full days. Gads, it felt as if I had lived three full years during that time.
Well, certainly. Your sleep patterns haven't been very good.
I felt my eyes widen as I stared at my plate. No. I did not just hear that voice in my head again. I fumbled for my water glass, not looking at anyone seated at the table, feeling the blood drain away from my face.
I heard Une responding with enthusiasm to anything Treize posed to the table at large, as if there was a prize for The Most Animated Dinner Guest. Your obsession is showing, Une, I thought wryly.
Really, I couldn't wait for this meal to be over. The potential for Une amusement was high - watching her perform, unwittingly, was priceless - but I was weary of the banter, and I didn't feel as though I was connecting with Wufei at all.
He sat at the table with a strangely blank look, eating automatically, sullen when replying to a direct question from Treize, but not volunteering anything on his own.
I couldn't eat much. I did push my food around on my plate, making it look like I was eating - if anyone was watching, that is - but I really wasn't. The food was probably delicious and well prepared, but to me, it tasted like cardboard.
Finally, dinner was over.
Treize looked at Une and me. "Please feel free to amuse yourself tonight. There are many different diversions you may choose - television, computer, video games, books - whatever you would like. Don't hesitate to ask if something you would like to do is not immediately apparent. However, Wufei and I do have some other matters to attend to. Come, Wufei."
Treize was standing next to the table. He sketched a slight bow to both Une and me, then turned and headed for one of the libraries. Wufei pushed himself away from the table and trotted right after him, not looking right or left, and not bothering to say good-bye, either.
Well. I looked over at Une, who was staring daggers at Wufei's back. I can't say I blamed him. She was a rather ... intense ... person.
No, no, no, my inner voice chided. Tell the truth. The woman's clearly obsessed, and willing to kill anything that gets in her way of that obsession.
I smiled, not missing the irony in our situation. "Well, Lady Une. It seems we've been left at loose ends."
On purpose, that hateful little voice of mine snickered.
Oh, just shut up. Please.
Une didn't seem to hear me. She was still staring at Wufei's back, probably trying to make it burst into flame. Finally, though, she seemed to realize I had said something and was waiting for a response. "What?" she said, looking at me, puzzled.
"I said - it seems we've been left at loose ends."
"Are you suggesting some kind of - activity?" The way she enunciated that last word, you might think I had just suggested we both shuck our clothes and roll around in a strawberry field before making mad, passionate love.
As if.
"Well - why not?" I decided to play along, figuring the potential for amusement at Une's expense was quite high. "What kind of games are YOU good at, Lady Une?"
Frankly, the conversation was proving to be a little out of her league. She glared at me, hating every syllable I uttered. "Treize-sama gives you too many liberties," she spit out, barely containing her fury.
"I'm sure many people share your opinion, Lady Une," I said, frosty and coldly formal to her. "But he seems to find the arrangement satisfactory, don't you think?"
Narrowing her eyes in obvious dislike, Une stood, turned and marched away from the table with all the military dignity she could muster, flouncing into one of the hallways, her little ribbons bouncing with every step.
A few moments later, I heard a door slam; in fact, I was pretty sure that everyone within earshot heard it.
I sighed. Oh, well. There went my entertainment.
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Left to my own devices again, I decided to poke though the rooms on this side of the mansion. Not all of them were locked, and truth be told, I was curious. This was a military post, after all, and I had seen precious little in the way of equipment or other proofs of a military presence.
If I could find some communications equipment, I might be able to do something for Duo and Trowa. Perhaps I wasn't free, in the conventional sense - but I certainly had a lot of freedom around here, as Une pointed out. There must be something I could do - some information I could find and pass on to them that would help them in the fight.
It was quite dark outside now, or I would have considered taking a walk outside the mansion. However, becoming an unwitting meal for those huge hounds that guarded the island wasn't something I wanted to experience. I shuddered a little, thinking of the long, gleaming teeth of that dog Treize had "introduced."
Well. He had made his point. I was staying indoors, thanks all the same.
I looked into several rooms; they were all empty, most had huge bookcases and a desk, and many of them had windows of some sort. There were several music rooms and there was an audio/video room, something that looked as if it held up to date vid equipment and such.
Wufei and Treize were ensconced in one of the library rooms, pouring over some kind of papers. Treize was patiently explaining the intricacies of some kind of contract to him, and when I walked past, Wufei looked sullen - as if he had been given a new school assignment.
"That makes no sense, given what you told me before," Wufei challenged, eyeing Treize. "It would be a better option to ..."
I walked away before hearing the rest of the question and Treize's answer. It was an odd contrast - Wufei as a student, and Treize as his mentor. Treize had looked quite pleased with himself as he started to explain the point to which Wufei objected.
Sighing, I left, feeling slightly bitter as well. It felt as if I was playing some kind of game with Treize in which Wufei was the prize; and if that was true, then the deck was stacked against me.
This would be when my cellphone started vibrating for the second time that day. I gasped a little and ducked into the vid room - the nearest empty room - closed the door, turned my back, and leaned on it. "Hello?"
Duo's voice crackled across the aether at me. "Hey - you heard the news? If you're close to a vidscreen, turn it on. It's on all the channels."
"What are you talking about?" I murmured into the phone, but obediently turned on the vidscreen and adjusted the volume. One of the national news anchors was broadcasting, along with several other nationally known politicians and a few people who didn't look 'famous' at all.
"What's this about?" It was difficult to follow exactly what they were saying, primarily because the 'ordinary' people were trying to crawl out of the corner the politicians threw them into.
"Oh," Duo sighed, "Une ... was really effective. The colonies are going with Treize - most of them, anyway. They're talking it out right now. There are all these debates going on, but they're mostly just because people are upset. They're not losing control. Sure." He sounded bitter. "They just finally decided to put the economic universe to USE and entering into TRADE with one another."
It felt as though we were defeated. We might as well throw in the towel right now. "What's the point, Duo? What's the point anymore?"
"It doesn't MATTER, Sal. I don't care what they think," Duo said, heated anger in his words. "They don't know any better. They're like kids getting into drugs, or something. It's still up to us - that part doesn't change, even if the colonies are all run by assholes."
"How many are we fighting now, Duo? We're supposed to be fighting FOR these people, and they go and -" I broke off, shrugging. "Well. You know."
"It's gotta be done, Sal," Due said after a moment of silence.
"I know. It's just becoming harder and harder. We don't even get a chance to breathe, Duo. We can't buy a break." And I wasn't just talking about the colonies, either.
"It's just the same as it's always been, Sal. It's us against them." I could almost feel him grinning through the phone. "Or can't you take the odds? It's just like on the street. Us. Them. We win, 'cause we don't stop. Period."
"Yes, okay Duo," I laughed. "I can take the odds. And you know? - I think we win, because we'll do whatever we have to."
"Hah! That, and we have GREAT toys!" he chortled
Was he talking about what I thought he was talking about? I heard drills and something clanging in the background. "Oh - you mean the LARGE ones?"
"The REALLY large ones!" he laughed.
"And they're ready to play with?"
"Mostly," he said. "The best toys take lots of maintenance."
"I'm so pleased you found something to play with - and it sounds as if you found someONE to play with, too ..."
"Oh, yeah! Music to my ears, baby!"
I could hear Heero growl at him in the background. "Would you PLEASE keep it down? I'm trying to concentrate."
I laughed again, feeling lighter and more at ease. "Thank you, Duo. I needed that. I -"
There was a sound outside the door, as if someone was walking up and turning the knob.
"Later," I hissed into the phone, then slammed it closed and dropped it back into its hiding place. I wasn't sure if someone was actually out there, but it was better being safe than caught.
"Ah, I'm sorry - I didn't realize this room was occupied." A soft, familiar feminine voice spoke; I turned and looked, and there was a small, delicate, very femme Japanese woman at the door. I didn't recognize her, either. She was very pretty, with long chestnut hair, wearing a lovely suit - and something jogged my memory.
Good heavens - it was Une.
My jaw nearly hit the floor. "Lady - Lady Une?" I stammered, staring at her.
"Hai," she said quietly, blushing - yes, she was blushing, I could hardly believe it myself. "I am sorry to disturb you, Ms. Po." She turned to leave.
"But .. wait ..." I was at a loss for words as Une turned and waited, polite and silent, a small smile on her face.
And .. gods, she was sparkly. There was something about her that was at once demure, gracious, and caring. Not at all what her other persona was like.
"Have a good night, Lady Une," I said, feeling rather stupid for calling her back, giving her a lame smile.
"Thank you ever so much, Ms. Po. I hope the rest of your evening is pleasant." She beamed at me, turned and walked down the corridor - and as she left, the vidscreen started broadcasting a speech she had given yesterday to some of the representatives of the colonies, exhorting them gently to pursue the path of peace.
"...we must strive to KEEP our peace. Peace is the most important thing to us all - peace is what feeds our very souls ..."
I could hardly believe the transformation - and seeing Une like this after the relative unpleasantness of dinner, and hearing her words, was simply surreal.
Shaking my head, I decided it was time for me to go back to my room and go to bed. I was feeling completely wiped out and confused, and really .. .any more input like this was bound to cause great consternation and angst. All I wanted to do was rest for a while, and go to sleep.
It was cool and silent in my room; only the faint sound of the surf drifted toward me, and that was something I welcomed. The surf, at least, was a soothing, calming friend, one that made sleeping easier. At least it did for me.
That, and the fact that I was able to crawl between clean, cool sheets; there was something about knowing the bed was freshly made that was soothing to me, as well.
Every muscle was relaxing - finally, after what felt like days, I could relax - and I felt drowsy and warm.
I fell asleep, and immediately started dreaming.
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My ancestors were Chinese. I often wondered about them; my parents did not have many artifacts relating to them and were not religious in the least, so consequently I knew very little about family. It was a shame, really, I thought on more than one occasion - I would have liked to understood a little more about my own heritage. But my parents were pleasantly vague about their own relatives, my father especially so, so that when the time came for me to try to put something together about my family - I really couldn't. Not beyond my grandparent's generation, in any event.
One thing I did know - my ancestors had an ancient belief in something they called spirit/mind travel. My father had laughingly said one day that there was a rumor in his family that certain members - very few, but one or two every other generation - were "dream walkers," those people who could 'walk' into someone else's dream.
"Well, then, I'm a dream walker!" I remember saying to him. "I see other people when I sleep ALL the time!"
"Of course you do, princess." My father had smiled at me and ruffled my hair. "Sometime, you should come visit me."
"Okay, Daddy," I said, happy. "I will!"
I never did, of course, because people really didn't dream walk.
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Tonight, I had that same feeling I had when I was young and drifting off to sleep. It was - freeing. Light. A feeling as if I could go anywhere.
Colors were muted around me, including the familiar, soft, off-black color of sleep. But when I turned my attention just there - somewhere ahead of me - there was a warm, soft, golden glow. Small, but shimmering - inviting - beckoning me closer.
Curious, I moved closer to it. Moving, apparently, had something to do with where you wanted to be. You thought about it, and - voile! - you did it.
The light was coming from what looked like a doorway. I moved closer; light spilled out from the room beyond, throwing the rest of the corridor into darkness. Had I been focused on what was actually happening, I might have noticed how much different this was than my other dreams - but I wasn't thinking about that at all.
It felt perfectly natural to stand in front of the door without thinking about it, and peer into the room. It was beautiful, and somehow .. timeless. There was a large stone fireplace, and books, so many books. An old-fashioned feel, yes, but also grand - and completely comfortable. It was hard to define, but as I walked into the room, smiling, it felt as if it was normal for me to be there. I wanted to be there.
The rug was lovely, old, and had the feeling of crushed velvet between my toes. Looking down, I realized that not only was I barefoot, but I was wearing my ivory silk pajamas, too. That didn't trouble me - and I was mildly surprised. I couldn't remember a time I left the house - well, any house - in my pajamas. It was a little amusing, in fact.
As I looked around the room - a library, I noted with pleasure - there was something else, some other feeling that accompanied that feeling of safety and calmness. Something that told me this place was much bigger and older than I would ever be. I was welcome, but I didn't quite belong here - I was too ...
...mortal.
What an odd thought - too mortal? I turned back to the fireplace, and realized there was a chair in front of it - and it was not unoccupied. There was a man in that oversized and ancient chair before the fireplace, facing it.
I blinked and leaned forward, then walked slowly around the chair to peer at its occupant. And somehow, I wasn't surprised. It felt so womblike, and safe, and comfortable, that I didn't react at all. Far, far back in my mind, something told me I might react later, if I thought about it. But that was pushed aside rather quickly, and the voice was silent.
The man was Treize. His head was down and his eyes were closed; his face had a pensive, beautiful look, and he was silent. Waiting for me to speak.
"Treize ...?"
"You came," he murmured, his voice soft, not moving a muscle. "I am very surprised to see you here, Sally."
Oh, his voice .. his voice resonated and made my body tingle. It was hypnotic, lyrical and powerful, and came from every part of the room at once.
"The doorway ... it was open ... and I saw the light, so ..."
His eyes were still closed, but a tiny smile moved across his lips. "Nevertheless ... it is not a thing most people can accomplish, Sally."
"It was so ... inviting," I said, feeling a little disoriented and drowsy. Happy, but a little dazed. "Where are we? What is this place?"
He finally looked up at me, and I couldn't believe his eyes. They were clearer than anything I'd ever seen, like absolute jewels. But there was something odd about them, at the same time - his pupils were completely round and his eyes were ... perfect. Absolutely, positively, perfect.
That was frightening on a gut, instinctive level; I couldn't understand it, but that, more than anything, told me I didn't belong where I was. And when I looked into his eyes, I realized that they didn't move ... at all. Plus, all this time I had been inspecting him, he had not blinked once. Not ... once.
"You are in my mind. I have opened up more than one sleep path to you, of course; I always do that. However, you are the first to be able to take it in ... well. A long time." He gave me a small smile, his eyes still not moving. "Even Wufei has not, though he certainly could. He resists my call. Would you like to sit down?"
I moved to the side just a little and looked around. "You mean ..." I was a little confused as there were no other chairs around.
Treize waved his hand, gesturing at the thick, soft, Oriental rug that was in front of the fireplace. I could sit there, if I wanted.
I found myself sinking to the floor, my legs folding under me with my back to the fire, looking up at him. He smiled at me, holding out one hand, inviting me to lean closer to him. Otherwise, he wasn't moving at all.
Gods ... get closer to him, here? I hesitated, feeling very unsure - but then I looked at him again. He was smiling, and was doing nothing that could be construed as threatening. In fact, that 'safe' and 'warm' feeling that drew me to the room in the first place increased, and was joined by a warm, throbbing feeling that was ... comforting.
"I will not hurt you," he said gently.
I tilted my head, considering. "I believe you," I finally answered. I didn't really think I had much choice in the matter, but ... it felt all right. Comforting.
"You may lean here, just against the chair, if you like," he said, holding his hand out. Inviting me to slide closer.
Again - it felt right, so I did. I slid next to the chair and leaned against it; and at the same time, Treize gave me a warm smile, put his hand on my head and started stroking my hair, petting my head - relaxing me completely.
I glanced up at him, and caught the expression on his face. His gesture was easy, familiar ... and his expression was .. fond. That was it - he was fond of me.
Sighing, I looked down, relaxed against his leg and the chair and let him pet me. I always loved it when people played with my hair when I was younger, anyway ... and this simply felt like an extension of that ...
"So ... we're dreaming?" I murmured, staring into the fire.
"Yes," he said, smiling. "You won't remember this in the morning, except for some general sensations." He kept petting, using slow, smooth motions. It felt so .. sensual, and I felt languid .. relaxed. The warmth of the fire licked my skin, feeling like liquid. I was warm, drowsy, and happy. Willing to tell anyone anything they'd like to know.
I didn't think about that last part, either. That was pushed away to be examined some other time. If I remembered.
"Do you know what you're doing here, Sally?" he asked, gentle again.
I turned my chin up to look at him, bemused. "Well .. no ... I suppose not. I didn't come here with any purpose in mind ... I just saw the light .. and it looked so warm, and I was curious ..."
He smiled at me fondly, and kept petting my head. "I rather thought you did not. Should Wufei ever find his way here, Sally, it will be to try to kill me. Unlikely he should succeed, don't you think?"
Blinking, I looked up at him again. "I ... he will try to kill you ... here?" I wasn't even sure where 'here' was, but it didn't seem likely.
"Yes. He will try to kill me here. When he reaches that point, I will either die ... or have him. I rather think I will have him."
Mmmm ... he was probably right. Nothing alarmed me - not about the way he was speaking or what he said. He wasn't speaking in a dangerous way, and everything seemed so ordinary and natural now ...
He kept petting me, his voice soothing and warm. "The last person who found her way here was also a saint, Sally, and she fell as easily as you - although coming here in and of itself is no mean feat. I have wondered, sometimes, if the purity has to do with getting them here - and that same purity is what leaves them unprepared for me." He leaned toward me, gently smiling. "What do you think, Sally?"
There was an odd, discordant feeling in my chest. I looked up at him and frowned a little. "I - I don't really understand ..."
Treize smiled at me as if I had just said something very cute. "That's all right, Sally. You don't really need to."
"No .. that's not right," I said, turning my head away. This really did bother me. "I do need to understand -"
He continued petting and gave me a real smile. "You will. Fear not," he murmured, amused, his voice smooth and soothing as honey. "Understanding will come completely to you in time. You see ... I've decided not to let you go. So you will understand all before the end. As my gift to you."
"A gift of ... understanding?" I asked, frowning.
Treize nodded slowly, caressing my scalp. "A gift of knowledge, and a help toward understanding; since you, Sally, must do the understanding yourself .. ne?"
He traced the outside of my ears with his fingertips - and ooo, that felt good. I slowly relaxed against the chair, looking around. "This place feels ... old," I ventured.
"Yes. It is very old." And somehow, I could tell he was pleased with me. That throbbing feeling had come back, and now I was warm and drowsy. The heat from the fire was all around the satin pajamas - it just felt so good, that it was hard to concentrate on anything other than that. In fact, what I really wanted to do was sit at his feet and stare into the fire while he pet me. Nothing else had quite that appeal.
"Did you have anything you wanted to ask me, Sally?" He smiled, a conspiratol, friendly look. "Since you won't remember any of this for a while, at least. The human mind is such a fragile thing ... it just blocks out that which is too much for it." His fingers traced my cheek, traveled back to my head and lingered at the nape of my neck.
I tried to rouse myself to ask at least one semi-intelligent question. "What did you mean - that the other person to find this place was a saint, and that she fell?"
"Saa, Sally ... I meant nothing ill. She was similar to you - just as strong, and as intelligent. Very similar, in fact; a quiet leader, but a leader nonetheless. And perhaps - 'relax' would be a better word than 'fell,' hmm? Or .. 'succumbed.'" He sounded amused. "But I think 'relaxed' works better."
"You mean ... succumbed to you?"
He kept petting. "In a way - succumbed to me," he responded gently. "But then, I have not done anything to you, have I?"
I frowned. "No .. not now ..."
"Correct. Not now. And it is now that you have succumbed to me. You are very safe here, Sally, very safe indeed."
Treize was running his fingers through my hair. I was trying to think, but my mind was fuzzy and it was unusually difficult to think for prolonged periods of time. "But ... but you did something ... yesterday .."
"I did many things yesterday," Treize murmured gently. "But this is today. Do not focus overmuch on the past. After all ... you cannot change it. You can only affect the future - that is the principle under which I live."
... you're much more amusing than you know ... latent talents ...
Gods, now everything was feeling fuzzy and not quite right. "I thought - I thought whatever we did affects the future -"
"Yes, that is true. But the past is no longer in our hands to make. Humans focus too much on the past, and not enough on the future. It is a weakness."
I blinked. "I - understand what you mean - but we're supposed to learn from our past. From our mistakes, really. We can't discount it entirely - that would be foolish."
"Certainly, Sally," he agreed, petting my head. "How very wise of you. However, most simply focus on the past not to learn, but to rehash. It does not help them - but somehow, it fulfills their self-imposed guilt quotient. The problem of conscience is one that has fascinated me for a long time, Sally." He traced my jaw with one finger, then did the same with my nose, looking playful. "Soft skin," he said, his voice a murmured surprise. "One would have thought your lifestyle had removed that. How pleasant."
I nodded and blinked. Part of me was amazed that I allowed him to touch me at all, but the majority of my mind saw no inherent danger - and, in fact, it felt so pleasant I really didn't want him to stop. "It - it's always been that way," I said, closing my eyes and leaning against the chair.
"Of course it has, lovely little saint that you are." He paused for a few moments, continuing to pet my head while I looked into the fire.
"Tell me, Sally," he said, warmth surrounding me, "what do you want?"
I blinked, opened my eyes and looked up at him. I felt as though I had to say something - I could not keep silent. "I ... I want many things."
"Yes?" he encouraged.
"I ... I want ..." Suddenly shy, I turned from looking at him to looking at the fire again.
Long, unhurried strokes against my head and neck relaxed the muscles in my shoulders, helping me to think. It would be easy, so easy to tell him now; but part of me wanted to hold back, not give him what he wanted. I needed to keep something for myself.
"...If I tell you," I found myself saying, "then you'll know everything."
"Your secret will never leave this room," he said, very gentle. "And I will not know 'everything.' I will never know that."
I nodded, my eyelids drooping. "One thing I want is to be free." That was a relatively safe thing to say - and for anyone who knew me, was also fairly obvious.
"Very well put, Sally. You're very smart, do you know that? A pleasure to talk to, even when you're being stubborn. So quiet, you are .. you hide quite a lot. Or you try."
I looked up at him, feeling a little apprehensive, trying to read his expression. The firelight cast golden shadows across his face, and he was smiling at me. That fond expression was in his eyes again - there was nothing threatening or conniving about him at all.
Maybe I'm being paranoid for nothing. I gave him a little smile in return, and said slowly, "I .. I want Wufei to be free ..."
"Ah, that's lovely," he replied, still petting me and watching with that same expression. "A wonderful goal. Admirable. Anything else, Sally?"
Now I was blinking, feeling completely confused. He wasn't reacting the way I thought he was going to react. In fact, it really WAS easy to talk with him, and tell him exactly what I was thinking. "I - I want justice for everyone. Not just for the fortunate few, but everyone."
"Shhh ... all is safe here." He soothed me and kept petting, now concentrating on the back of my neck and my shoulders. "And how is that possible, Sally?"
"I - I was trying before - trying to fight for justice. So that people could be free to make their own decisions, without interference from others with their own agendas."
"Yes," he said, nodding slowly.
"I want peace ... but not 'peace in slavery.' Peace between people that comes from treating each other as equals."
"Ah, but Sally - who would rule?"
"There would be a democracy," I said, tilting my head to look up at him. "Power would be shared."
"A lovely idea, Sally, but someone still has to make the decisions."
"That's true," I frowned, "but representatives would be elected from the people to do that - there's no need an enormous amount of power in one person's hand."
"Still, there must be someone who puts that together and makes the decisions. If you merely rely on groups, then ninety percent of your time is spent arguing - things do not get accomplished. Perhaps, Sally," Treize said thoughtfully, "the key is to find someone whom the people, in their rights and justice, choose to make those decisions. A tie breaker, if you will."
I frowned. "That position, by its very nature, would be so intrinsically interwoven with the other groups that the power it wielded over them would be ... enormous. How could you trust someone to hold it?"
"And the world ruled by a committee would carry the danger of getting nothing done."
Stubborn, I looked at him. "Once you've given your rights over to someone else, it is difficult, if not impossible, to get them back."
"But Sally ... groups are just as dangerous, and hold more power. Or have you forgotten the dangers of Romefeller?"
That stopped me. "I - I had not thought of Romefeller - but yes, that is true."
"And it was Romefeller that really insisted on war, ne? Romefeller, that, for example, gave the order to decimate A0206."
I turned to look at the fire, feeling suddenly disturbed. "Yes - Romefeller did give the order. Septem -"
" -is dead," he finished, petting.
I took a deep breath, seeing myself as I was when I was given the order to 'cleanse' Wufei's colony.
"A good thing, yes?"
Anger and horror moved through me as I remembered that day and the decisions I had to make. "...yes..."
"Shh.." he soothed again. "No need to grow upset here. What's done is done. We are changing nothing."
I leaned back against the chair again, searching for that calm, relaxed feeling I had before I started thinking about Septem. A good thing that horrid man was dead? Of course it was ...
Treize tangled his fingers in my hair as he massaged my head again. "Did Romefeller judge him evil?"
"No," I said, shaking my head a little. "Of course not. He was one of their generals, one of their own."
"Yes," Treize said. "So how did he die?"
I blinked. "It's ... he ... " I looked over at him and started to breathe faster. This was really upsetting. "It is believed he boarded a flight after the disaster at New Edwards base. The shuttle flight landed, but ... he was not on board. His body - was never found."
Calmly, Treize continued petting and rubbing my head, extending that caress to the base of my neck.
"So .. it's assumed he died somewhere in flight ..."
"He was given justice," Treize said softly.
Rhythmic, regular stroking on my head and neck was incredibly calming. My eyes were nearly closing of their own accord, I felt so relaxed. "..yes - but - but .. something isn't right ..." I frowned, trying to remember.
"Mmmm ... and what isn't right, Sally?"
I had to push myself through the fuzziness that encircled my brain. "Justice .. in that respect .. cannot simply be carried out by one person - almost as if it's at their whim.."
"Really?" Treize's voice took on a calm, soothing quality. "Then what were you doing?"
A beat passed as the implications of that simple question sank into my psyche, and my world imploded. I walked into that trap so willingly ... put my head right into the noose myself. I felt my breathing get shallower and my mouth grow dry as I stared back at him in complete shock and dismay. "I .. I ...what ..."
"Then what were you doing, Sally?" he repeated gently, still petting my head with soft strokes. "Shhh, now ... don't defend. I am not attacking you. I am trying to ascertain why you are somehow essentially different in your behavior from that which caused Septem's death."
I forced myself to be calm; "I .. Septem ordered the elimination of all life on A0206. I suggested that the people who were there could be relocated somewhere else - but he said no. He intended to kill them."
Very gently, Treize looked at me and said, "Even though the group of men elected had decided that it should be destroyed - you, the individual, disagreed. Very good, Sally. Go on."
I was sweating by this point, and I couldn't look away from his gaze. "I .. did," I continued, my voice weak. "I disagreed. Those people were innocent -"
"Mmm, not according to their elected rulers. But this is in the past, Sally. It does no good to simply rehash. Go on. Tell me more."
Gods, I couldn't believe it. I had always considered myself on the side of justice and right, and here ... here I was, seeing myself as no more than a common criminal, an anarchist disrupting a legitimate government. I continued with my story, but with considerably less heat and righteousness than before. "I - I decided to pull my men out of there. And I did - and reported that the colony had been cleansed. After that ... I gave up my field position, and came back to Earth."
The silence between us was heavy. "And how, Sally," Treize continued, his voice a gentle caress, "how does this make you different from that which ended Septem's misbegotten life?"
I was shaking by this time. "I .. I would not - and did not - order that civilians - innocent people - be slaughtered. I fought, certainly, but I fought those who were either ordered to fight or volunteered. We fought military units and targets, not civilians."
He kept petting my head, which did help me keep my emotions under control a little. "But that means that you, as a single individual, not chosen by anyone but yourself, made the decision as to what justice was, and acted on it."
"I - I had to," I whispered, completely at a loss. "I could not kill innocent people. I ... I have a conscience, too."
"Yes, you do," Treize said, soft and relentless. "But your conscience is not the same as everyone else's .. is it?"
".... no...."
"Then why did you have the right to impose your justice on other people, when they had not asked for it?"
Now I was clenching my hands in my lap, sitting straight up and staring into the fire, very rigid. "I ... I thought it was the right thing to do. It felt like the right thing to do. I saw no other alternative. I could not kill innocent people. I didn't impose 'justice' on the people of A0206. I simply refused to kill them."
"You have imposed justice on the world by attempting to destroy those whom the people themselves put into power. And I am preserving the life of one of the last members of the Dragon Clan. In a way ... that makes you and I equals, does it not?"
I turned completely around and stared up at him. I could feel my eyes growing wider by the second. "...I .. I would never have thought to look at things that way..."
He stroked the side of my face, running his thumb from my temple to my jaw. "I know, Sally. It's all right," he said, smiling at me. "You're very smart, anyway." He ran his fingers across my cheekbone as I sat quietly, looking up at him.
Rather like he's inspecting a new toy, my inner voice whispered.
"We have both acted on what we believe to be necessary, in the face of all others; in the face of those who the people put into power; and we have both saved what is left of the dragon clan." His eyes sparkled. "Why, Sally ... you're just like me."
A real stab of horror shot into my body. Is that possible...?
His smile was warm and knowing. "Hush, now - is that so bad? It could also mean that I'm just like you. Saaa, I've been misunderstood before ... but so have you." Treize used the back of his hand to stroke the side of my face. "So quiet ... so unassuming ... and yet, so intelligent and determined. You've been misunderstood and rejected all you life, haven't you?"
I felt my heartrate quicken, and tried to consciously suppress it. "I .. I have always needed to be strong ... I have always provided for myself ..."
He looked at me with a soft smile, making a soothing, circular motion on my head and neck. The sensations, though, weren't as calming as they had been - thinking about Septem upset me more than I realized, and I started to feel a cold, ugly feeling gnawing in my stomach.
As if in response, Treize leaned forward a little and stroked the back of my neck, pulling down my spine with long, even strokes that felt slightly tickly and intimate and terribly, terribly good ...
My eyelids did droop as the sensations continued to calm me. Why think about what I had to be? It's in the past ... and there's nothing that will change the past ...
Very well done, Sally. That is the secret to success.
I happened to look up at him in that instant; the expression in his eyes seemed almost ... predatory.
Immediately, I felt a warm throbbing surround me, something that seemed to come and go in waves.
"Are you happy, Sally?" His voice was low and resonant, teasing me with its depth. "I want you to be happy."
"I feel ... warm. Happy .. right now," I murmured, feeling very drowsy.
"Good - because it will be time for you to wake up in another moment. Do you have anything else you want to say, Sally?"
It crossed my mind that I liked being there, even though I had felt so unsettled and anxious about telling him ... something. And I wanted to come back.
"Ah .. Treize .. will I be able to come back here?"
It was still hard for me to keep my eyes open, but I tried to look at him through eyelids that were rapidly closing. He looked very amused, but only permitted himself a tiny smile.
"If you want to," he said softly, as if he wasn't sure. "So .. do you want to, Sally? You are happy?"
Long, even strokes from the crown of my head to the base of my neck made me lean back and close my eyes in pleasure.
"I feel ... good. Happy. And ... I'd like to come back .. if I may."
"Very well, then. I will allow you back." I opened my eyes a slit to look at him, and that same indefinable gleam was in his eyes.
"Thank you, Treize," I murmured.
"You are welcome, Sally." He truly sounded sincere. "Now ... it is time to wake up."
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*
The room faded, and I was in that comfortable off-black color of normal sleep. But it wasn't as warm as before, I moaned to myself. Where's the warmth? the throbbing? the..
..the ... what was I trying to remember? some dream, but .. feh....
My entire body felt like it was tingling and throbbing - something akin to what had happened ... another time.
I turned over and put my face into my pillow, unwilling to let my dream go, but knowing that I should start thinking about getting out of bed.
After all - now it was Friday, and we were going to the opera.
Tapestry - Chapter 18
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I opened my eyes to see sparkling blue water with the sun setting behind it. It took me a couple of moments to realize where I was, but once I did, everything that had happened that day came flooding back.
Gads. I felt as though entire days were being crammed into one or two smaller hours.
And now someone was knocking at my door. Actually, rapping would be more accurate. I unfolded myself from the chair, rose stiffly, and hobbled over to the door.
Opening the door a crack, I saw a young woman standing smartly at attention on the opposite side. Her cropped dark hair dangling across her face with a bright, cheerful smile.
"Yes...?" I said, cautiously peering at her.
"Dinner time, ma'am. I was sent to see if you were well enough to join them."
I blinked at her. "Ah .. well .. yes, I think so." I looked down at my clothes. "I should probably change, though -"
"I don't see why. Nobody else is," she chimed in, still smiling her megawatt smile. "It's all very relaxed. But if you're well, I'll send notice that you can come down for dinner. If not, Treize-sama will have food sent up to you."
I stared at her. I didn't remember anyone saying Treize's name with that kind of inflection except for Une; and privately, I thought Une was obsessed with him. The way she looked at him when we disembarked yesterday was enough to send chills down MY spine. Ick.
"Well ... all right. I'll come down with you, then." My head still ached a little, and I wasn't all the way awake, but .. feh. Really, there wasn't much of a choice. And it would give me another chance to see Wufei.
The young soldier nodded happily and strode down the hallway, not waiting to see if I was following her or not.
Sighing, I followed her. Yet another fun-filled evening awaited me.
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She led me downstairs and took me in a completely different direction. I hadn't been in this room before - it was light and comfortable, like the rest of the house, and not at all formal. Decorated in a Savannah style, much of the furniture was wicker. Plants of every variety and color overflowed the room, giving it the air of a small, carefully controlled jungle.
It was lovely - the feeling of openness that pervaded the mansion continued here. There was a smallish table set at the opposite end of the room, where Treize and Wufei were standing and talking. I noticed four place settings, and wondered who the fourth was that would be joining us. Certainly, not this young girl leading me over to them.
"Sally! It is so good to see you!"
Treize absolutely beamed at me as he walked forward and took my hands in his. "How are you feeling? Are you well enough to join us? I certainly don't want you feeling any pressure to do so ..."
I glanced at the young woman with us, who was now giving adoring looks at the general. I snorted softly to myself - obviously, her circuits overloaded long ago. She had that "ooooo" look about her that reminded me of Une.
Shuddering delicately, I looked up at Treize and said with a small smile, "I'm feeling well now, thank you. Well enough to join you, if that's all right."
"But of course, my dear, that's perfectly all right." Still beaming, he put one hand behind my back and gently steered me to the table, then pulled a chair out for me.
"Ah ... thank you, Treize," I murmured, remembering my manners just in time. "Hello, Wufei," I said, looking across the table and smiling at him.
Wufei nodded back at me. Out of the corner of my eye I saw someone enter the room from a different doorway and walk briskly toward the table. Treize was just settling me in my chair when I turned and saw who the other person was.
Lady Une.
My smile froze in place as I mentally kicked myself for not expecting something like this from him. And from her expression of utter and absolute loathing, it appeared that she wasn't prepared to see me, either.
Heh. Surprises for the guests all around, hmm?
"Lady Une! I'm so glad you could join us. Please, have a seat." Treize gestured at the open chair next to me with a gracious wave and smile as he moved to the opposite end of the table.
My gaze shifted to Treize as he took his seat next to me. "What a pleasant surprise," I said insincerely, wishing the ground would open and swallow BOTH of them simultaneously.
But would Fate work for me? Not on your life. They were both still sitting on either side of me. Feh.
Une took her seat, her back ramrod straight, pulled her chair in herself, and sent a sweeping glare across the table at me and Wufei.
Wufei, for his part, glared right back with a look that could have melted steel.
"Now, now ... none of that," Treize said, raising his eyebrow. "We agreed. Salad?"
I swung my gaze over to Une, looking at her critically. Your hair's pulled back too tight, Une. It'll give you headaches, as sure as I'm sitting here.
A small smile tugged at Treize's lips as he served the salad himself, passing bowls around the table. "I'm sorry for the informality, ladies and gentlemen, but I simply couldn't handle another formal evening. Please - relax, and enjoy yourself."
Une seemed rather scandalized that Treize was actually serving the salad - I suppose she thought there should be a servant doing that. I watched with great interest as Une stabbed her salad into submission; in fact, I nearly laughed as I watched her kill a cherry tomato. In contrast, Wufei was eating calmly, I was simply trying to blend into the background, and it appeared that Treize was watching everyone and enjoying himself immensely.
What a weird little group.
Treize, of course, was the perfect host, doing his best to engage everyone in conversation. He had deftly changed the topic of conversation several times; now he was discussing his plans for Friday, which was tomorrow. I had stopped listening a while ago, and was simply smiling and nodding - but I was vaguely surprised to realize, again, that I had only been awake since late Monday afternoon. This was Thursday evening - so all in all, I had only really been awake for three full days. Gads, it felt as if I had lived three full years during that time.
Well, certainly. Your sleep patterns haven't been very good.
I felt my eyes widen as I stared at my plate. No. I did not just hear that voice in my head again. I fumbled for my water glass, not looking at anyone seated at the table, feeling the blood drain away from my face.
I heard Une responding with enthusiasm to anything Treize posed to the table at large, as if there was a prize for The Most Animated Dinner Guest. Your obsession is showing, Une, I thought wryly.
Really, I couldn't wait for this meal to be over. The potential for Une amusement was high - watching her perform, unwittingly, was priceless - but I was weary of the banter, and I didn't feel as though I was connecting with Wufei at all.
He sat at the table with a strangely blank look, eating automatically, sullen when replying to a direct question from Treize, but not volunteering anything on his own.
I couldn't eat much. I did push my food around on my plate, making it look like I was eating - if anyone was watching, that is - but I really wasn't. The food was probably delicious and well prepared, but to me, it tasted like cardboard.
Finally, dinner was over.
Treize looked at Une and me. "Please feel free to amuse yourself tonight. There are many different diversions you may choose - television, computer, video games, books - whatever you would like. Don't hesitate to ask if something you would like to do is not immediately apparent. However, Wufei and I do have some other matters to attend to. Come, Wufei."
Treize was standing next to the table. He sketched a slight bow to both Une and me, then turned and headed for one of the libraries. Wufei pushed himself away from the table and trotted right after him, not looking right or left, and not bothering to say good-bye, either.
Well. I looked over at Une, who was staring daggers at Wufei's back. I can't say I blamed him. She was a rather ... intense ... person.
No, no, no, my inner voice chided. Tell the truth. The woman's clearly obsessed, and willing to kill anything that gets in her way of that obsession.
I smiled, not missing the irony in our situation. "Well, Lady Une. It seems we've been left at loose ends."
On purpose, that hateful little voice of mine snickered.
Oh, just shut up. Please.
Une didn't seem to hear me. She was still staring at Wufei's back, probably trying to make it burst into flame. Finally, though, she seemed to realize I had said something and was waiting for a response. "What?" she said, looking at me, puzzled.
"I said - it seems we've been left at loose ends."
"Are you suggesting some kind of - activity?" The way she enunciated that last word, you might think I had just suggested we both shuck our clothes and roll around in a strawberry field before making mad, passionate love.
As if.
"Well - why not?" I decided to play along, figuring the potential for amusement at Une's expense was quite high. "What kind of games are YOU good at, Lady Une?"
Frankly, the conversation was proving to be a little out of her league. She glared at me, hating every syllable I uttered. "Treize-sama gives you too many liberties," she spit out, barely containing her fury.
"I'm sure many people share your opinion, Lady Une," I said, frosty and coldly formal to her. "But he seems to find the arrangement satisfactory, don't you think?"
Narrowing her eyes in obvious dislike, Une stood, turned and marched away from the table with all the military dignity she could muster, flouncing into one of the hallways, her little ribbons bouncing with every step.
A few moments later, I heard a door slam; in fact, I was pretty sure that everyone within earshot heard it.
I sighed. Oh, well. There went my entertainment.
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Left to my own devices again, I decided to poke though the rooms on this side of the mansion. Not all of them were locked, and truth be told, I was curious. This was a military post, after all, and I had seen precious little in the way of equipment or other proofs of a military presence.
If I could find some communications equipment, I might be able to do something for Duo and Trowa. Perhaps I wasn't free, in the conventional sense - but I certainly had a lot of freedom around here, as Une pointed out. There must be something I could do - some information I could find and pass on to them that would help them in the fight.
It was quite dark outside now, or I would have considered taking a walk outside the mansion. However, becoming an unwitting meal for those huge hounds that guarded the island wasn't something I wanted to experience. I shuddered a little, thinking of the long, gleaming teeth of that dog Treize had "introduced."
Well. He had made his point. I was staying indoors, thanks all the same.
I looked into several rooms; they were all empty, most had huge bookcases and a desk, and many of them had windows of some sort. There were several music rooms and there was an audio/video room, something that looked as if it held up to date vid equipment and such.
Wufei and Treize were ensconced in one of the library rooms, pouring over some kind of papers. Treize was patiently explaining the intricacies of some kind of contract to him, and when I walked past, Wufei looked sullen - as if he had been given a new school assignment.
"That makes no sense, given what you told me before," Wufei challenged, eyeing Treize. "It would be a better option to ..."
I walked away before hearing the rest of the question and Treize's answer. It was an odd contrast - Wufei as a student, and Treize as his mentor. Treize had looked quite pleased with himself as he started to explain the point to which Wufei objected.
Sighing, I left, feeling slightly bitter as well. It felt as if I was playing some kind of game with Treize in which Wufei was the prize; and if that was true, then the deck was stacked against me.
This would be when my cellphone started vibrating for the second time that day. I gasped a little and ducked into the vid room - the nearest empty room - closed the door, turned my back, and leaned on it. "Hello?"
Duo's voice crackled across the aether at me. "Hey - you heard the news? If you're close to a vidscreen, turn it on. It's on all the channels."
"What are you talking about?" I murmured into the phone, but obediently turned on the vidscreen and adjusted the volume. One of the national news anchors was broadcasting, along with several other nationally known politicians and a few people who didn't look 'famous' at all.
"What's this about?" It was difficult to follow exactly what they were saying, primarily because the 'ordinary' people were trying to crawl out of the corner the politicians threw them into.
"Oh," Duo sighed, "Une ... was really effective. The colonies are going with Treize - most of them, anyway. They're talking it out right now. There are all these debates going on, but they're mostly just because people are upset. They're not losing control. Sure." He sounded bitter. "They just finally decided to put the economic universe to USE and entering into TRADE with one another."
It felt as though we were defeated. We might as well throw in the towel right now. "What's the point, Duo? What's the point anymore?"
"It doesn't MATTER, Sal. I don't care what they think," Duo said, heated anger in his words. "They don't know any better. They're like kids getting into drugs, or something. It's still up to us - that part doesn't change, even if the colonies are all run by assholes."
"How many are we fighting now, Duo? We're supposed to be fighting FOR these people, and they go and -" I broke off, shrugging. "Well. You know."
"It's gotta be done, Sal," Due said after a moment of silence.
"I know. It's just becoming harder and harder. We don't even get a chance to breathe, Duo. We can't buy a break." And I wasn't just talking about the colonies, either.
"It's just the same as it's always been, Sal. It's us against them." I could almost feel him grinning through the phone. "Or can't you take the odds? It's just like on the street. Us. Them. We win, 'cause we don't stop. Period."
"Yes, okay Duo," I laughed. "I can take the odds. And you know? - I think we win, because we'll do whatever we have to."
"Hah! That, and we have GREAT toys!" he chortled
Was he talking about what I thought he was talking about? I heard drills and something clanging in the background. "Oh - you mean the LARGE ones?"
"The REALLY large ones!" he laughed.
"And they're ready to play with?"
"Mostly," he said. "The best toys take lots of maintenance."
"I'm so pleased you found something to play with - and it sounds as if you found someONE to play with, too ..."
"Oh, yeah! Music to my ears, baby!"
I could hear Heero growl at him in the background. "Would you PLEASE keep it down? I'm trying to concentrate."
I laughed again, feeling lighter and more at ease. "Thank you, Duo. I needed that. I -"
There was a sound outside the door, as if someone was walking up and turning the knob.
"Later," I hissed into the phone, then slammed it closed and dropped it back into its hiding place. I wasn't sure if someone was actually out there, but it was better being safe than caught.
"Ah, I'm sorry - I didn't realize this room was occupied." A soft, familiar feminine voice spoke; I turned and looked, and there was a small, delicate, very femme Japanese woman at the door. I didn't recognize her, either. She was very pretty, with long chestnut hair, wearing a lovely suit - and something jogged my memory.
Good heavens - it was Une.
My jaw nearly hit the floor. "Lady - Lady Une?" I stammered, staring at her.
"Hai," she said quietly, blushing - yes, she was blushing, I could hardly believe it myself. "I am sorry to disturb you, Ms. Po." She turned to leave.
"But .. wait ..." I was at a loss for words as Une turned and waited, polite and silent, a small smile on her face.
And .. gods, she was sparkly. There was something about her that was at once demure, gracious, and caring. Not at all what her other persona was like.
"Have a good night, Lady Une," I said, feeling rather stupid for calling her back, giving her a lame smile.
"Thank you ever so much, Ms. Po. I hope the rest of your evening is pleasant." She beamed at me, turned and walked down the corridor - and as she left, the vidscreen started broadcasting a speech she had given yesterday to some of the representatives of the colonies, exhorting them gently to pursue the path of peace.
"...we must strive to KEEP our peace. Peace is the most important thing to us all - peace is what feeds our very souls ..."
I could hardly believe the transformation - and seeing Une like this after the relative unpleasantness of dinner, and hearing her words, was simply surreal.
Shaking my head, I decided it was time for me to go back to my room and go to bed. I was feeling completely wiped out and confused, and really .. .any more input like this was bound to cause great consternation and angst. All I wanted to do was rest for a while, and go to sleep.
It was cool and silent in my room; only the faint sound of the surf drifted toward me, and that was something I welcomed. The surf, at least, was a soothing, calming friend, one that made sleeping easier. At least it did for me.
That, and the fact that I was able to crawl between clean, cool sheets; there was something about knowing the bed was freshly made that was soothing to me, as well.
Every muscle was relaxing - finally, after what felt like days, I could relax - and I felt drowsy and warm.
I fell asleep, and immediately started dreaming.
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My ancestors were Chinese. I often wondered about them; my parents did not have many artifacts relating to them and were not religious in the least, so consequently I knew very little about family. It was a shame, really, I thought on more than one occasion - I would have liked to understood a little more about my own heritage. But my parents were pleasantly vague about their own relatives, my father especially so, so that when the time came for me to try to put something together about my family - I really couldn't. Not beyond my grandparent's generation, in any event.
One thing I did know - my ancestors had an ancient belief in something they called spirit/mind travel. My father had laughingly said one day that there was a rumor in his family that certain members - very few, but one or two every other generation - were "dream walkers," those people who could 'walk' into someone else's dream.
"Well, then, I'm a dream walker!" I remember saying to him. "I see other people when I sleep ALL the time!"
"Of course you do, princess." My father had smiled at me and ruffled my hair. "Sometime, you should come visit me."
"Okay, Daddy," I said, happy. "I will!"
I never did, of course, because people really didn't dream walk.
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Tonight, I had that same feeling I had when I was young and drifting off to sleep. It was - freeing. Light. A feeling as if I could go anywhere.
Colors were muted around me, including the familiar, soft, off-black color of sleep. But when I turned my attention just there - somewhere ahead of me - there was a warm, soft, golden glow. Small, but shimmering - inviting - beckoning me closer.
Curious, I moved closer to it. Moving, apparently, had something to do with where you wanted to be. You thought about it, and - voile! - you did it.
The light was coming from what looked like a doorway. I moved closer; light spilled out from the room beyond, throwing the rest of the corridor into darkness. Had I been focused on what was actually happening, I might have noticed how much different this was than my other dreams - but I wasn't thinking about that at all.
It felt perfectly natural to stand in front of the door without thinking about it, and peer into the room. It was beautiful, and somehow .. timeless. There was a large stone fireplace, and books, so many books. An old-fashioned feel, yes, but also grand - and completely comfortable. It was hard to define, but as I walked into the room, smiling, it felt as if it was normal for me to be there. I wanted to be there.
The rug was lovely, old, and had the feeling of crushed velvet between my toes. Looking down, I realized that not only was I barefoot, but I was wearing my ivory silk pajamas, too. That didn't trouble me - and I was mildly surprised. I couldn't remember a time I left the house - well, any house - in my pajamas. It was a little amusing, in fact.
As I looked around the room - a library, I noted with pleasure - there was something else, some other feeling that accompanied that feeling of safety and calmness. Something that told me this place was much bigger and older than I would ever be. I was welcome, but I didn't quite belong here - I was too ...
...mortal.
What an odd thought - too mortal? I turned back to the fireplace, and realized there was a chair in front of it - and it was not unoccupied. There was a man in that oversized and ancient chair before the fireplace, facing it.
I blinked and leaned forward, then walked slowly around the chair to peer at its occupant. And somehow, I wasn't surprised. It felt so womblike, and safe, and comfortable, that I didn't react at all. Far, far back in my mind, something told me I might react later, if I thought about it. But that was pushed aside rather quickly, and the voice was silent.
The man was Treize. His head was down and his eyes were closed; his face had a pensive, beautiful look, and he was silent. Waiting for me to speak.
"Treize ...?"
"You came," he murmured, his voice soft, not moving a muscle. "I am very surprised to see you here, Sally."
Oh, his voice .. his voice resonated and made my body tingle. It was hypnotic, lyrical and powerful, and came from every part of the room at once.
"The doorway ... it was open ... and I saw the light, so ..."
His eyes were still closed, but a tiny smile moved across his lips. "Nevertheless ... it is not a thing most people can accomplish, Sally."
"It was so ... inviting," I said, feeling a little disoriented and drowsy. Happy, but a little dazed. "Where are we? What is this place?"
He finally looked up at me, and I couldn't believe his eyes. They were clearer than anything I'd ever seen, like absolute jewels. But there was something odd about them, at the same time - his pupils were completely round and his eyes were ... perfect. Absolutely, positively, perfect.
That was frightening on a gut, instinctive level; I couldn't understand it, but that, more than anything, told me I didn't belong where I was. And when I looked into his eyes, I realized that they didn't move ... at all. Plus, all this time I had been inspecting him, he had not blinked once. Not ... once.
"You are in my mind. I have opened up more than one sleep path to you, of course; I always do that. However, you are the first to be able to take it in ... well. A long time." He gave me a small smile, his eyes still not moving. "Even Wufei has not, though he certainly could. He resists my call. Would you like to sit down?"
I moved to the side just a little and looked around. "You mean ..." I was a little confused as there were no other chairs around.
Treize waved his hand, gesturing at the thick, soft, Oriental rug that was in front of the fireplace. I could sit there, if I wanted.
I found myself sinking to the floor, my legs folding under me with my back to the fire, looking up at him. He smiled at me, holding out one hand, inviting me to lean closer to him. Otherwise, he wasn't moving at all.
Gods ... get closer to him, here? I hesitated, feeling very unsure - but then I looked at him again. He was smiling, and was doing nothing that could be construed as threatening. In fact, that 'safe' and 'warm' feeling that drew me to the room in the first place increased, and was joined by a warm, throbbing feeling that was ... comforting.
"I will not hurt you," he said gently.
I tilted my head, considering. "I believe you," I finally answered. I didn't really think I had much choice in the matter, but ... it felt all right. Comforting.
"You may lean here, just against the chair, if you like," he said, holding his hand out. Inviting me to slide closer.
Again - it felt right, so I did. I slid next to the chair and leaned against it; and at the same time, Treize gave me a warm smile, put his hand on my head and started stroking my hair, petting my head - relaxing me completely.
I glanced up at him, and caught the expression on his face. His gesture was easy, familiar ... and his expression was .. fond. That was it - he was fond of me.
Sighing, I looked down, relaxed against his leg and the chair and let him pet me. I always loved it when people played with my hair when I was younger, anyway ... and this simply felt like an extension of that ...
"So ... we're dreaming?" I murmured, staring into the fire.
"Yes," he said, smiling. "You won't remember this in the morning, except for some general sensations." He kept petting, using slow, smooth motions. It felt so .. sensual, and I felt languid .. relaxed. The warmth of the fire licked my skin, feeling like liquid. I was warm, drowsy, and happy. Willing to tell anyone anything they'd like to know.
I didn't think about that last part, either. That was pushed away to be examined some other time. If I remembered.
"Do you know what you're doing here, Sally?" he asked, gentle again.
I turned my chin up to look at him, bemused. "Well .. no ... I suppose not. I didn't come here with any purpose in mind ... I just saw the light .. and it looked so warm, and I was curious ..."
He smiled at me fondly, and kept petting my head. "I rather thought you did not. Should Wufei ever find his way here, Sally, it will be to try to kill me. Unlikely he should succeed, don't you think?"
Blinking, I looked up at him again. "I ... he will try to kill you ... here?" I wasn't even sure where 'here' was, but it didn't seem likely.
"Yes. He will try to kill me here. When he reaches that point, I will either die ... or have him. I rather think I will have him."
Mmmm ... he was probably right. Nothing alarmed me - not about the way he was speaking or what he said. He wasn't speaking in a dangerous way, and everything seemed so ordinary and natural now ...
He kept petting me, his voice soothing and warm. "The last person who found her way here was also a saint, Sally, and she fell as easily as you - although coming here in and of itself is no mean feat. I have wondered, sometimes, if the purity has to do with getting them here - and that same purity is what leaves them unprepared for me." He leaned toward me, gently smiling. "What do you think, Sally?"
There was an odd, discordant feeling in my chest. I looked up at him and frowned a little. "I - I don't really understand ..."
Treize smiled at me as if I had just said something very cute. "That's all right, Sally. You don't really need to."
"No .. that's not right," I said, turning my head away. This really did bother me. "I do need to understand -"
He continued petting and gave me a real smile. "You will. Fear not," he murmured, amused, his voice smooth and soothing as honey. "Understanding will come completely to you in time. You see ... I've decided not to let you go. So you will understand all before the end. As my gift to you."
"A gift of ... understanding?" I asked, frowning.
Treize nodded slowly, caressing my scalp. "A gift of knowledge, and a help toward understanding; since you, Sally, must do the understanding yourself .. ne?"
He traced the outside of my ears with his fingertips - and ooo, that felt good. I slowly relaxed against the chair, looking around. "This place feels ... old," I ventured.
"Yes. It is very old." And somehow, I could tell he was pleased with me. That throbbing feeling had come back, and now I was warm and drowsy. The heat from the fire was all around the satin pajamas - it just felt so good, that it was hard to concentrate on anything other than that. In fact, what I really wanted to do was sit at his feet and stare into the fire while he pet me. Nothing else had quite that appeal.
"Did you have anything you wanted to ask me, Sally?" He smiled, a conspiratol, friendly look. "Since you won't remember any of this for a while, at least. The human mind is such a fragile thing ... it just blocks out that which is too much for it." His fingers traced my cheek, traveled back to my head and lingered at the nape of my neck.
I tried to rouse myself to ask at least one semi-intelligent question. "What did you mean - that the other person to find this place was a saint, and that she fell?"
"Saa, Sally ... I meant nothing ill. She was similar to you - just as strong, and as intelligent. Very similar, in fact; a quiet leader, but a leader nonetheless. And perhaps - 'relax' would be a better word than 'fell,' hmm? Or .. 'succumbed.'" He sounded amused. "But I think 'relaxed' works better."
"You mean ... succumbed to you?"
He kept petting. "In a way - succumbed to me," he responded gently. "But then, I have not done anything to you, have I?"
I frowned. "No .. not now ..."
"Correct. Not now. And it is now that you have succumbed to me. You are very safe here, Sally, very safe indeed."
Treize was running his fingers through my hair. I was trying to think, but my mind was fuzzy and it was unusually difficult to think for prolonged periods of time. "But ... but you did something ... yesterday .."
"I did many things yesterday," Treize murmured gently. "But this is today. Do not focus overmuch on the past. After all ... you cannot change it. You can only affect the future - that is the principle under which I live."
... you're much more amusing than you know ... latent talents ...
Gods, now everything was feeling fuzzy and not quite right. "I thought - I thought whatever we did affects the future -"
"Yes, that is true. But the past is no longer in our hands to make. Humans focus too much on the past, and not enough on the future. It is a weakness."
I blinked. "I - understand what you mean - but we're supposed to learn from our past. From our mistakes, really. We can't discount it entirely - that would be foolish."
"Certainly, Sally," he agreed, petting my head. "How very wise of you. However, most simply focus on the past not to learn, but to rehash. It does not help them - but somehow, it fulfills their self-imposed guilt quotient. The problem of conscience is one that has fascinated me for a long time, Sally." He traced my jaw with one finger, then did the same with my nose, looking playful. "Soft skin," he said, his voice a murmured surprise. "One would have thought your lifestyle had removed that. How pleasant."
I nodded and blinked. Part of me was amazed that I allowed him to touch me at all, but the majority of my mind saw no inherent danger - and, in fact, it felt so pleasant I really didn't want him to stop. "It - it's always been that way," I said, closing my eyes and leaning against the chair.
"Of course it has, lovely little saint that you are." He paused for a few moments, continuing to pet my head while I looked into the fire.
"Tell me, Sally," he said, warmth surrounding me, "what do you want?"
I blinked, opened my eyes and looked up at him. I felt as though I had to say something - I could not keep silent. "I ... I want many things."
"Yes?" he encouraged.
"I ... I want ..." Suddenly shy, I turned from looking at him to looking at the fire again.
Long, unhurried strokes against my head and neck relaxed the muscles in my shoulders, helping me to think. It would be easy, so easy to tell him now; but part of me wanted to hold back, not give him what he wanted. I needed to keep something for myself.
"...If I tell you," I found myself saying, "then you'll know everything."
"Your secret will never leave this room," he said, very gentle. "And I will not know 'everything.' I will never know that."
I nodded, my eyelids drooping. "One thing I want is to be free." That was a relatively safe thing to say - and for anyone who knew me, was also fairly obvious.
"Very well put, Sally. You're very smart, do you know that? A pleasure to talk to, even when you're being stubborn. So quiet, you are .. you hide quite a lot. Or you try."
I looked up at him, feeling a little apprehensive, trying to read his expression. The firelight cast golden shadows across his face, and he was smiling at me. That fond expression was in his eyes again - there was nothing threatening or conniving about him at all.
Maybe I'm being paranoid for nothing. I gave him a little smile in return, and said slowly, "I .. I want Wufei to be free ..."
"Ah, that's lovely," he replied, still petting me and watching with that same expression. "A wonderful goal. Admirable. Anything else, Sally?"
Now I was blinking, feeling completely confused. He wasn't reacting the way I thought he was going to react. In fact, it really WAS easy to talk with him, and tell him exactly what I was thinking. "I - I want justice for everyone. Not just for the fortunate few, but everyone."
"Shhh ... all is safe here." He soothed me and kept petting, now concentrating on the back of my neck and my shoulders. "And how is that possible, Sally?"
"I - I was trying before - trying to fight for justice. So that people could be free to make their own decisions, without interference from others with their own agendas."
"Yes," he said, nodding slowly.
"I want peace ... but not 'peace in slavery.' Peace between people that comes from treating each other as equals."
"Ah, but Sally - who would rule?"
"There would be a democracy," I said, tilting my head to look up at him. "Power would be shared."
"A lovely idea, Sally, but someone still has to make the decisions."
"That's true," I frowned, "but representatives would be elected from the people to do that - there's no need an enormous amount of power in one person's hand."
"Still, there must be someone who puts that together and makes the decisions. If you merely rely on groups, then ninety percent of your time is spent arguing - things do not get accomplished. Perhaps, Sally," Treize said thoughtfully, "the key is to find someone whom the people, in their rights and justice, choose to make those decisions. A tie breaker, if you will."
I frowned. "That position, by its very nature, would be so intrinsically interwoven with the other groups that the power it wielded over them would be ... enormous. How could you trust someone to hold it?"
"And the world ruled by a committee would carry the danger of getting nothing done."
Stubborn, I looked at him. "Once you've given your rights over to someone else, it is difficult, if not impossible, to get them back."
"But Sally ... groups are just as dangerous, and hold more power. Or have you forgotten the dangers of Romefeller?"
That stopped me. "I - I had not thought of Romefeller - but yes, that is true."
"And it was Romefeller that really insisted on war, ne? Romefeller, that, for example, gave the order to decimate A0206."
I turned to look at the fire, feeling suddenly disturbed. "Yes - Romefeller did give the order. Septem -"
" -is dead," he finished, petting.
I took a deep breath, seeing myself as I was when I was given the order to 'cleanse' Wufei's colony.
"A good thing, yes?"
Anger and horror moved through me as I remembered that day and the decisions I had to make. "...yes..."
"Shh.." he soothed again. "No need to grow upset here. What's done is done. We are changing nothing."
I leaned back against the chair again, searching for that calm, relaxed feeling I had before I started thinking about Septem. A good thing that horrid man was dead? Of course it was ...
Treize tangled his fingers in my hair as he massaged my head again. "Did Romefeller judge him evil?"
"No," I said, shaking my head a little. "Of course not. He was one of their generals, one of their own."
"Yes," Treize said. "So how did he die?"
I blinked. "It's ... he ... " I looked over at him and started to breathe faster. This was really upsetting. "It is believed he boarded a flight after the disaster at New Edwards base. The shuttle flight landed, but ... he was not on board. His body - was never found."
Calmly, Treize continued petting and rubbing my head, extending that caress to the base of my neck.
"So .. it's assumed he died somewhere in flight ..."
"He was given justice," Treize said softly.
Rhythmic, regular stroking on my head and neck was incredibly calming. My eyes were nearly closing of their own accord, I felt so relaxed. "..yes - but - but .. something isn't right ..." I frowned, trying to remember.
"Mmmm ... and what isn't right, Sally?"
I had to push myself through the fuzziness that encircled my brain. "Justice .. in that respect .. cannot simply be carried out by one person - almost as if it's at their whim.."
"Really?" Treize's voice took on a calm, soothing quality. "Then what were you doing?"
A beat passed as the implications of that simple question sank into my psyche, and my world imploded. I walked into that trap so willingly ... put my head right into the noose myself. I felt my breathing get shallower and my mouth grow dry as I stared back at him in complete shock and dismay. "I .. I ...what ..."
"Then what were you doing, Sally?" he repeated gently, still petting my head with soft strokes. "Shhh, now ... don't defend. I am not attacking you. I am trying to ascertain why you are somehow essentially different in your behavior from that which caused Septem's death."
I forced myself to be calm; "I .. Septem ordered the elimination of all life on A0206. I suggested that the people who were there could be relocated somewhere else - but he said no. He intended to kill them."
Very gently, Treize looked at me and said, "Even though the group of men elected had decided that it should be destroyed - you, the individual, disagreed. Very good, Sally. Go on."
I was sweating by this point, and I couldn't look away from his gaze. "I .. did," I continued, my voice weak. "I disagreed. Those people were innocent -"
"Mmm, not according to their elected rulers. But this is in the past, Sally. It does no good to simply rehash. Go on. Tell me more."
Gods, I couldn't believe it. I had always considered myself on the side of justice and right, and here ... here I was, seeing myself as no more than a common criminal, an anarchist disrupting a legitimate government. I continued with my story, but with considerably less heat and righteousness than before. "I - I decided to pull my men out of there. And I did - and reported that the colony had been cleansed. After that ... I gave up my field position, and came back to Earth."
The silence between us was heavy. "And how, Sally," Treize continued, his voice a gentle caress, "how does this make you different from that which ended Septem's misbegotten life?"
I was shaking by this time. "I .. I would not - and did not - order that civilians - innocent people - be slaughtered. I fought, certainly, but I fought those who were either ordered to fight or volunteered. We fought military units and targets, not civilians."
He kept petting my head, which did help me keep my emotions under control a little. "But that means that you, as a single individual, not chosen by anyone but yourself, made the decision as to what justice was, and acted on it."
"I - I had to," I whispered, completely at a loss. "I could not kill innocent people. I ... I have a conscience, too."
"Yes, you do," Treize said, soft and relentless. "But your conscience is not the same as everyone else's .. is it?"
".... no...."
"Then why did you have the right to impose your justice on other people, when they had not asked for it?"
Now I was clenching my hands in my lap, sitting straight up and staring into the fire, very rigid. "I ... I thought it was the right thing to do. It felt like the right thing to do. I saw no other alternative. I could not kill innocent people. I didn't impose 'justice' on the people of A0206. I simply refused to kill them."
"You have imposed justice on the world by attempting to destroy those whom the people themselves put into power. And I am preserving the life of one of the last members of the Dragon Clan. In a way ... that makes you and I equals, does it not?"
I turned completely around and stared up at him. I could feel my eyes growing wider by the second. "...I .. I would never have thought to look at things that way..."
He stroked the side of my face, running his thumb from my temple to my jaw. "I know, Sally. It's all right," he said, smiling at me. "You're very smart, anyway." He ran his fingers across my cheekbone as I sat quietly, looking up at him.
Rather like he's inspecting a new toy, my inner voice whispered.
"We have both acted on what we believe to be necessary, in the face of all others; in the face of those who the people put into power; and we have both saved what is left of the dragon clan." His eyes sparkled. "Why, Sally ... you're just like me."
A real stab of horror shot into my body. Is that possible...?
His smile was warm and knowing. "Hush, now - is that so bad? It could also mean that I'm just like you. Saaa, I've been misunderstood before ... but so have you." Treize used the back of his hand to stroke the side of my face. "So quiet ... so unassuming ... and yet, so intelligent and determined. You've been misunderstood and rejected all you life, haven't you?"
I felt my heartrate quicken, and tried to consciously suppress it. "I .. I have always needed to be strong ... I have always provided for myself ..."
He looked at me with a soft smile, making a soothing, circular motion on my head and neck. The sensations, though, weren't as calming as they had been - thinking about Septem upset me more than I realized, and I started to feel a cold, ugly feeling gnawing in my stomach.
As if in response, Treize leaned forward a little and stroked the back of my neck, pulling down my spine with long, even strokes that felt slightly tickly and intimate and terribly, terribly good ...
My eyelids did droop as the sensations continued to calm me. Why think about what I had to be? It's in the past ... and there's nothing that will change the past ...
Very well done, Sally. That is the secret to success.
I happened to look up at him in that instant; the expression in his eyes seemed almost ... predatory.
Immediately, I felt a warm throbbing surround me, something that seemed to come and go in waves.
"Are you happy, Sally?" His voice was low and resonant, teasing me with its depth. "I want you to be happy."
"I feel ... warm. Happy .. right now," I murmured, feeling very drowsy.
"Good - because it will be time for you to wake up in another moment. Do you have anything else you want to say, Sally?"
It crossed my mind that I liked being there, even though I had felt so unsettled and anxious about telling him ... something. And I wanted to come back.
"Ah .. Treize .. will I be able to come back here?"
It was still hard for me to keep my eyes open, but I tried to look at him through eyelids that were rapidly closing. He looked very amused, but only permitted himself a tiny smile.
"If you want to," he said softly, as if he wasn't sure. "So .. do you want to, Sally? You are happy?"
Long, even strokes from the crown of my head to the base of my neck made me lean back and close my eyes in pleasure.
"I feel ... good. Happy. And ... I'd like to come back .. if I may."
"Very well, then. I will allow you back." I opened my eyes a slit to look at him, and that same indefinable gleam was in his eyes.
"Thank you, Treize," I murmured.
"You are welcome, Sally." He truly sounded sincere. "Now ... it is time to wake up."
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*
The room faded, and I was in that comfortable off-black color of normal sleep. But it wasn't as warm as before, I moaned to myself. Where's the warmth? the throbbing? the..
..the ... what was I trying to remember? some dream, but .. feh....
My entire body felt like it was tingling and throbbing - something akin to what had happened ... another time.
I turned over and put my face into my pillow, unwilling to let my dream go, but knowing that I should start thinking about getting out of bed.
After all - now it was Friday, and we were going to the opera.