Notes: Okay, this one gets rather graphic towards the end. I chickened away
from all the really gross details, but you get to see Sirius and Remus in
new ultra-kinky-uber colour. This chapter is especially for Polkat, whether
she likes it or not.
. . . . . ..
Sirius worked down the street from the Ministry of Magic Headquarters, and today it occurred to him to walk down once he had finished for the day and meet Remus, whose day ended half an hour after his. He walked through London with a rather more casual air than anywhere else, because at this point London was more or less safe from attack. Voldemort could not yet reveal himself to such large numbers of Muggles, who would undoubtedly prove extremely inconvenient to him once they began to fight back. He was dressed in muggle clothing; jeans and a black polo-neck jumper. He was keen on blending right in amongst the non-magical population, and he knew exactly how to do it too, so that occasionally he cursed loudly about the state of the roads and how no one was funding public services enough and the bloody pigeons defecating everywhere, such a bloody nuisance, should be shot. Thankfully for him, madmen also blend in very well in London.
He stomped through the corridors of the Ministry building until he found an information point, leaned heavily on it and demanded to know where he could find Remus Lupin. After that he trod quietly and sensibly. Most wizards recognised him and greeted him, but he wasn't in the mood for familiarity. He wanted to find Remus, take him home, and do these things with little or, preferably, no interference. But the building was massive, and it was almost five thirty before he found the block of offices where he was told he would find Remus. Some more stomping about, and he found a sign on the wall of a corridor:
Department of Dark Magic Awareness: Lucius Malfoy.
Underneath were the names of some underlings, including Remus'. Sirius followed the corridor until he got caught in the stream of witches and wizards leaving. He searched the crowds for Remus, but couldn't find him. Once the hall was clear again, he resumed his venture into the department until he spotted a couple of shadowy figures in the distance. He froze and watched as the tallest of the pair wrapped the other in an embrace, but moments later he was pushed playfully away. Sirius rolled his eyes, and slipped into an empty office cubicle as the taller headed towards him along the corridor. As he passed by, Sirius instantly recognised him; it was, of course, Lucius Malfoy. Sirius wrinkled his nose, then continued his journey up the corridor until the second wizard involved in the romantic moment came into focus.
"Sirius! What're you doing here?"
Remus looked flustered, but Sirius tried to keep his cool. Maybe he hadn't seen what he thought he'd seen? He knew he was becoming paranoid, maybe he had imagined that kiss between Remus and Malfoy?
"Came to meet you," he said, glancing involuntarily down the corridor. Remus followed his gaze.
"Um," he said. "I take it you saw-"
Sirius nodded, trying his best to fight the urge to make a scene. Instead he turned on his heels and walked away. Remus strode after him, but he did not turn around or acknowledge the werewolf in any way until they were safely inside their own car. It was an ancient, rusted Jaguar belonging formerly to Remus' late father; it was the only thing of any worth Remus owned, and was now held together by a cocktail of charms. It didn't do anything spectacular, such as fly or drive underwater, but anyone looking at it would declare it a miracle that it actually moved in at all, never mind in one piece and all in the same direction at the same time. It belonged to Remus officially, but Sirius drove it more often than not. He now slouched down in the driver's seat and glared at Remus until the doors were shut, when he could contain himself no longer.
"LUCIUS MALFOY!?!"
Remus jumped out of his skin; he hadn't been expecting an outburst like that. What he had been expecting Sirius didn't know, but something inside him was glad he had shocked the werewolf.
"What the fuck are you playing at, Remus?" he screamed. Remus winced painfully and pointed at the road.
"Please drive the car, Sirius," he said, his voice hoarse. Sirius glowered at him, then released the handbrake and pulled away.
"So," he growled as they rumbled along Oxford Street. "Are you going to explain what the hell you're doing with Malfoy?"
"Once we get home."
"This car is part of our home."
"No it-" "Tell me. Now."
Remus sighed and told the story, and it wasn't finished until they were indoors. He explained everything, starting with how he had met Lucius. Their first encounter had been very shortly after Remus and Sirius left Hogwarts; a brief night of passion resulting in nothing. After that neither knew anything of the other until Remus applied for a job in a neighbouring department of the Ministry and was rejected a few seconds into the interview, after Remus had presented his compulsory Lycanthropy licence. On the way out he had stumbled across Lucius, who had recognised him. Remus told him what had just happened, and Lucius instantly offered him a position which had just become vacant.
"Of course," Remus said, staring out of the window at the people whipping past, "with Lucius, nothing comes free."
"So he gave you a job and now you're his sex slave, is that it?"
Remus gave Sirius a cold stare. The latter had gritted his teeth and was staring intently at the road ahead of him. His knuckles had gone white and his arm muscles tense as he gripped the wheel.
"No," said Remus eventually. "That's not it at all. I-"
"Love him?"
"No. I don't know."
"Remus! He's a suspected Death Eater! Do you not know that?"
Remus had the decency to look thoroughly ashamed of himself. "I didn't at the time, no. But I do now."
"Then for God's sake!" Sirius paused as he reversed up the driveway. "Leave him," he finished, clicking the engine off.
Remus said nothing more until they were indoors. He made some tea and Sirius sat opposite him at the kitchen table, glaring again.
"What do you see in him?" said Sirius suddenly.
"Hmm?" said Remus distantly. "Erm. He is very handsome, Sirius."
"Oh god." Sirius buried his head in his folded arms. "I don't believe you just said that," he added, now rather muffled. "He's completely evil and insane and bloodthirsty, and all you can say is he's handsome."
Remus looked thoroughly wretched. "There's nothing I can do, Sirius."
"And if there was, would you do it?"
"I-"
"Yes?"
"I don't know. You don't know him, Sirius; you only know his reputation-"
"He has tortured people! That's all I need to know!"
Silence fell over the table. Outside it was growing dark and cold. Remus shivered, and Sirius automatically touched his arm.
"Please," he murmured, "don't go back to him again."
"It's not that simple."
"Of course it is. Never go anywhere near him again."
"I work for him! You think if I tell him to get lost, he'll just shrug and let me go? It doesn't work like that. He employed me, he's given me money, we have a relationship. I'll admit it's not the best, but there's something there. Without him, I've got nothing at all."
"You've got me," said Sirius simply.
Remus stopped at stared at him, then his gaze flickered to the hand still gripping his arm. "I know," he murmured.
"No you don't. You've completely forgotten the friends you've been relying on for years. James and Lily have forgotten what you look like and Peter can't remember how to pronounce your name. It's all Malfoy's fault, he's controlling your life. Leave. Him. Now."
"I-"
"Can't. But you can because you have to. And if he lays a finger on you I'll -"
"Sirius, don't."
"He's never hurt you, has he? Because if he has -"
"Sirius!"
"I swear I'll rip him apart!"
Remus raised his eyebrows in barely suppressed shock. "Don't talk like that," he snapped. "I know you'd never hurt a fly."
"Not a fly, but maybe a snake."
Remus shook his head. "Don't do anything of the sort. I'll. . .try and sort it out."
"Promise?"
"Promise."
Sirius withdrew his hand finally, but his fingers gently stroked Remus' own hand. The werewolf shivered again, but it had nothing to do with the cold this time. Sirius gave him a small smile.
"I'm only angry because I love you, Moony."
Remus nodded. "I know."
"No. You still don't." Sirius reached out to touch Remus' cheek. "I love you with a passion so intense that it continues to scare me every single day. Knowing you've been with someone else has killed me over and over again, and now I know who it was, it's taking all my will power not to hunt him down and tear his limbs off. One by one," he added, as if relishing the idea. "And I don't care how much you love him. You could be carrying his baby and I'd still want him to suffer every agony under the sun. Twice."
Through his astonishment, the only thing Remus could think to say was, "I'm male, Sirius. I can't carry anyone's babies."
"Well no, but you know what I mean."
Remus stared at him, unable to drag his gaze away. "How long have you felt like this?"
"Forever."
"I mean in mortal terms."
"A decade. More."
"Since we were fourteen?"
Sirius shrugged. "Maths always was my weakness. But that's not the point. God, Remus, you're everything to me. Please tell me I mean something to you. Tell me I'm more to you than Lucius stinking Malfoy."
"I-" Remus began, but he was cut short by something hitting the window. He leaped to his feet and pulled the window open, letting the bedraggled owl tumble in. For the first time he noticed it was raining heavily outside and a peal of thunder sounded somewhere close by.
"It's from James."
Sirius took the note and read aloud. "Come here tomorrow. Both of you. That means Remus too." He blinked. "That was abrupt."
"I wonder if they're all right." Remus frowned as he sat down again, this time next to Sirius.
"Must be. They would have called for us immediately if it was urgent."
"I suppose." But Remus continued to scowl at the note lying on the table. The owl landed beside him and pecked at him until he gave it a chocolate frog from his pocket. It flapped off into the night, but not before tugging the window closed behind it. Sirius and Remus were left alone again.
"You were about to tell me whether you adore me or not," said Sirius, giving his friend a wry smile.
"I remember."
". . . And?"
Remus looked coy for a moment, then leaned forwards and kissed Sirius once on the lips. Before Sirius could pull him back, he stood up and stepped away.
"Not now," he said firmly. "I'm still with Lucius, and whatever else I am, I'm not a traitor."
Sirius laughed hoarsely. "Do you think Malfoy cares?"
"Possibly."
"He doesn't, Remus. He doesn't care about you at all, he's using you. Can't you see that?"
Remus nodded once, but turned away and walked into the living room. Sirius followed him at a distance, slightly wary of Remus as ever at this time in the lunar calendar, and watched as the werewolf stared at the large photo on the mantelpiece of the two of them together with Peter, Lily and James. Beside it was the Potters' wedding photo.
"Are you okay, Moony?"
Remus shrugged slightly, and tapped the glass protecting Lily and James' photo. The little figures within the frame stepped aside so they didn't get poked, then moved back together to hug each other again. "That," muttered Remus, "is all I've ever wanted. Did you know that?"
"James' tux?"
"No! To be normal, Sirius! They're perfect, aren't they?" he said it fondly, a small smile touching his lips. "Who wouldn't want to be like that?"
Sirius shrugged. "You're not going to find normality with Lucius Malfoy."
"I thought he'd help me. He gave me a job, money, confidence. But nothing's actually changed, has it?"
"Nope." Sirius stepped softly towards Remus. "You're a complete freak. You always have been and you always will be – but you're my freak."
Remus grinned weakly. He looked exhausted all of a sudden, as if he'd been running a marathon all day, and Sirius paused to stare into his eyes for a second; tomorrow was full moon and in the days beforehand Remus could become unpredictable and even dangerous. But now he just looked in desperate need of a hug, so Sirius gave him one. He wrapped the werewolf protectively in his arms and pulled him close, half expecting to be pushed away. But Remus' hands slid round his waist, and his head rested on the taller man's shoulder. Sirius kissed him on the cheek and ran tentative fingers through his hair.
"Do you really love me?" Remus whispered suddenly.
"Didn't I embellish that point enough?"
Remus chuckled. "Not quite. Try again."
Sirius thought for a moment. "Right," he said eventually. He nudged Remus' chin up with his hand, then gripped it between thumb and forefinger so he could take Remus' lower lip between his teeth, running his tongue over the cracked but delicate skin. His other hand undid the first couple of buttons on Remus' shirt and stroked the pale, exposed skin as he deepened the kiss. Remus' arms were still around his waist, and he gripped Sirius' shirt, almost tearing the material. Sirius pulled him closer, continuing to undo his shirt, but Remus was suddenly hit by a bout of conscience.
"I told you," he murmured into Sirius' mouth. "I can't do this."
"Well you seem to be doing fine so far." Sirius grinned at him, then licked his ear, laughing delightedly at Remus' shudder of pleasure. "You're excelling yourself, in fact."
"I can't be held responsible for this-" Remus began, but Sirius was almost desperate now and didn't hear him. He dropped to his knees in front of Remus, kissing and stroking his chest and stomach; nothing Remus could have said would have stopped him, had the werewolf felt inclined to say anything at all right then. From his position it became obvious to Sirius that even Remus couldn't fail to be aroused by the situation, so he met little resistance as he unbuttoned the werewolf's trousers and let the garment drop to the floor.
"You okay?" he asked, finally glancing up at Remus' face again.
"Yes . . . But Sirius, I think this is not a good time."
"There's never a perfect time Moony."
"Maybe I didn't make myself clear. I don't think this is the best time right here. Look."
Sirius glanced towards the window, which was wide open. Being, until five minutes ago a pair of bachelors, they did not own any net curtains and therefore anyone passing by could easily look straight into the living room.
"Ah," said Sirius, "I see." He jumped to his feet, grabbed Remus' arm and dragged him to the bedroom.
Remus knew he should have done something to resist, but he physically couldn't; the sheer lustful enthusiasm of Sirius overwhelmed him and he found himself responding hungrily to every kiss and caress. Sirius' lips were magnetic to his and there was nothing he could do to pry them away so they staggered, locked together, to the bed. Sirius pushed him almost forcefully down, but gave him a moment's opportunity to protest or resist before straddling him and perching on his stomach. He nestled his face in Remus' hair, deeply inhaling that ever-present scent of warm cinnamon, and planted one hand firmly on either side of his head, looming over him half- predatorily and half-protectively. Remus was breathing deeply, but he kept glancing beyond Sirius as if expecting someone to be there in the room with them. Sirius glanced nervously behind him.
"What's wrong?" he asked.
"I shouldn't-"
"Do you want to?" Remus nodded. "Then why shouldn't you?"
Remus looked like he was going to say something else, but eventually decided on "if you don't kiss me again soon I think I'm going to die a very painful death." Sirius grinned briefly then kissed the werewolf ravenously. He had never tasted anything as enchanting as Remus and if it wasn't for the pressing situation arising in his trousers he would never have broken away from his lover's lips. But he finally had to sit up and allow Remus to relieve them of the rest of their clothing before pushing the werewolf back down and applying his lips instead to his neck and shoulder. He drew back when he tasted blood, and found the semi-healed bite mark on Remus' neck.
"Ergh. Malfoy?"
Remus looked guilty. "I'm sorry."
"Never mind." Sirius wasn't interested in shoulders anyway. He placed a line of kisses down Remus' stomach causing Remus to let out a giggle which he quickly stifled. "Ticklish?" asked Sirius with a wolfish grin. Remus nodded and wriggled in a rather delightful way as Sirius ran his tongue across from hip to hip. Then he sunk his teeth into the flesh, nipping and licking and kissing as he moved down slightly. It was like a waking dream, and he wasn't sure even now if he should be doing this to Remus, who had protested so little outwardly but had inwardly been begging him to stop. Everything he had longed to do to Remus was now possible; all those secret desires and fantasies could be acted out for real instead of over and over within the confines of his head as he stared longingly at his oblivious werewolf. Nonetheless, he wondered if it was right but it was too late now, and any thoughts of going back had long since left Remus' mind. He yelped and gasped and made other interesting sounds which Sirius quickly learned to manipulate with carefully timed movements. Remus' breathing became quicker and shorter, and finally he sighed forcefully and relaxed. Sirius moved to straddle him again and Remus pulled him down for a desperate kiss, having been deprived for several minutes.
"Sirius! Sirius!!"
He might not have realised it wasn't his lover calling his name if he hadn't had his mouth locked with the other's in an anxious fight to become as close as physically possibly without doing each other any serious damage. Remus apparently hadn't heard the call at all, which was strange. Sirius tried to pull away but something was holding him firmly against the lithe, warm body beneath him; however as soon as he realised Remus was not holding him down at all and it was, in fact, himself keeping him there, he pried himself away.
"Sirius?" this questioning voice was Remus this time, staring up at him, suddenly frightened. Sirius put his finger to his lips, slid off the bed and padded to the door. He leaped back suddenly as the door was forced open and James tumbled in, shoving his hair out of his eyes and looking anxious.
"There you are! I was starting to panic, very weird for you to abandon the house at this time of night, I-" suddenly James stopped and stared at his best friend. "Sirius, you haven't got any clothes on," he said bluntly.
Sirius bundled him out of the door and shut it firmly behind him. He stood facing his friend in the hall, stark naked and short of breath, the warm and welcome – although rather unexpected - taste of cinnamon in the back of his throat. "I know, Prongs, I was in bed."
"Neither did Moony."
"Ah. I thought you hadn't seen-"
James shrugged. He seemed panicky. "Glad for you, Paddy. Nice to know you're finally getting some. But I need your help, urgently."
Sirius frowned. The door opened behind him and a fully-clad Remus emerged. "Everything all right?" he asked.
"Yeah. I think so. We just need a hand with some charms and - well you know I wouldn't ask if it wasn't urgent. Dumbledore says Lily and I are in danger. I don't know how he knows, but I trust him, and Lily won't leave and I need to put some more protection on the house because I think someone's been watching us. We didn't exactly see them but-"
"All right, we're coming," said Sirius, "once I get some clothes on. You can explain on the way."
. . . . . ..
Sirius worked down the street from the Ministry of Magic Headquarters, and today it occurred to him to walk down once he had finished for the day and meet Remus, whose day ended half an hour after his. He walked through London with a rather more casual air than anywhere else, because at this point London was more or less safe from attack. Voldemort could not yet reveal himself to such large numbers of Muggles, who would undoubtedly prove extremely inconvenient to him once they began to fight back. He was dressed in muggle clothing; jeans and a black polo-neck jumper. He was keen on blending right in amongst the non-magical population, and he knew exactly how to do it too, so that occasionally he cursed loudly about the state of the roads and how no one was funding public services enough and the bloody pigeons defecating everywhere, such a bloody nuisance, should be shot. Thankfully for him, madmen also blend in very well in London.
He stomped through the corridors of the Ministry building until he found an information point, leaned heavily on it and demanded to know where he could find Remus Lupin. After that he trod quietly and sensibly. Most wizards recognised him and greeted him, but he wasn't in the mood for familiarity. He wanted to find Remus, take him home, and do these things with little or, preferably, no interference. But the building was massive, and it was almost five thirty before he found the block of offices where he was told he would find Remus. Some more stomping about, and he found a sign on the wall of a corridor:
Department of Dark Magic Awareness: Lucius Malfoy.
Underneath were the names of some underlings, including Remus'. Sirius followed the corridor until he got caught in the stream of witches and wizards leaving. He searched the crowds for Remus, but couldn't find him. Once the hall was clear again, he resumed his venture into the department until he spotted a couple of shadowy figures in the distance. He froze and watched as the tallest of the pair wrapped the other in an embrace, but moments later he was pushed playfully away. Sirius rolled his eyes, and slipped into an empty office cubicle as the taller headed towards him along the corridor. As he passed by, Sirius instantly recognised him; it was, of course, Lucius Malfoy. Sirius wrinkled his nose, then continued his journey up the corridor until the second wizard involved in the romantic moment came into focus.
"Sirius! What're you doing here?"
Remus looked flustered, but Sirius tried to keep his cool. Maybe he hadn't seen what he thought he'd seen? He knew he was becoming paranoid, maybe he had imagined that kiss between Remus and Malfoy?
"Came to meet you," he said, glancing involuntarily down the corridor. Remus followed his gaze.
"Um," he said. "I take it you saw-"
Sirius nodded, trying his best to fight the urge to make a scene. Instead he turned on his heels and walked away. Remus strode after him, but he did not turn around or acknowledge the werewolf in any way until they were safely inside their own car. It was an ancient, rusted Jaguar belonging formerly to Remus' late father; it was the only thing of any worth Remus owned, and was now held together by a cocktail of charms. It didn't do anything spectacular, such as fly or drive underwater, but anyone looking at it would declare it a miracle that it actually moved in at all, never mind in one piece and all in the same direction at the same time. It belonged to Remus officially, but Sirius drove it more often than not. He now slouched down in the driver's seat and glared at Remus until the doors were shut, when he could contain himself no longer.
"LUCIUS MALFOY!?!"
Remus jumped out of his skin; he hadn't been expecting an outburst like that. What he had been expecting Sirius didn't know, but something inside him was glad he had shocked the werewolf.
"What the fuck are you playing at, Remus?" he screamed. Remus winced painfully and pointed at the road.
"Please drive the car, Sirius," he said, his voice hoarse. Sirius glowered at him, then released the handbrake and pulled away.
"So," he growled as they rumbled along Oxford Street. "Are you going to explain what the hell you're doing with Malfoy?"
"Once we get home."
"This car is part of our home."
"No it-" "Tell me. Now."
Remus sighed and told the story, and it wasn't finished until they were indoors. He explained everything, starting with how he had met Lucius. Their first encounter had been very shortly after Remus and Sirius left Hogwarts; a brief night of passion resulting in nothing. After that neither knew anything of the other until Remus applied for a job in a neighbouring department of the Ministry and was rejected a few seconds into the interview, after Remus had presented his compulsory Lycanthropy licence. On the way out he had stumbled across Lucius, who had recognised him. Remus told him what had just happened, and Lucius instantly offered him a position which had just become vacant.
"Of course," Remus said, staring out of the window at the people whipping past, "with Lucius, nothing comes free."
"So he gave you a job and now you're his sex slave, is that it?"
Remus gave Sirius a cold stare. The latter had gritted his teeth and was staring intently at the road ahead of him. His knuckles had gone white and his arm muscles tense as he gripped the wheel.
"No," said Remus eventually. "That's not it at all. I-"
"Love him?"
"No. I don't know."
"Remus! He's a suspected Death Eater! Do you not know that?"
Remus had the decency to look thoroughly ashamed of himself. "I didn't at the time, no. But I do now."
"Then for God's sake!" Sirius paused as he reversed up the driveway. "Leave him," he finished, clicking the engine off.
Remus said nothing more until they were indoors. He made some tea and Sirius sat opposite him at the kitchen table, glaring again.
"What do you see in him?" said Sirius suddenly.
"Hmm?" said Remus distantly. "Erm. He is very handsome, Sirius."
"Oh god." Sirius buried his head in his folded arms. "I don't believe you just said that," he added, now rather muffled. "He's completely evil and insane and bloodthirsty, and all you can say is he's handsome."
Remus looked thoroughly wretched. "There's nothing I can do, Sirius."
"And if there was, would you do it?"
"I-"
"Yes?"
"I don't know. You don't know him, Sirius; you only know his reputation-"
"He has tortured people! That's all I need to know!"
Silence fell over the table. Outside it was growing dark and cold. Remus shivered, and Sirius automatically touched his arm.
"Please," he murmured, "don't go back to him again."
"It's not that simple."
"Of course it is. Never go anywhere near him again."
"I work for him! You think if I tell him to get lost, he'll just shrug and let me go? It doesn't work like that. He employed me, he's given me money, we have a relationship. I'll admit it's not the best, but there's something there. Without him, I've got nothing at all."
"You've got me," said Sirius simply.
Remus stopped at stared at him, then his gaze flickered to the hand still gripping his arm. "I know," he murmured.
"No you don't. You've completely forgotten the friends you've been relying on for years. James and Lily have forgotten what you look like and Peter can't remember how to pronounce your name. It's all Malfoy's fault, he's controlling your life. Leave. Him. Now."
"I-"
"Can't. But you can because you have to. And if he lays a finger on you I'll -"
"Sirius, don't."
"He's never hurt you, has he? Because if he has -"
"Sirius!"
"I swear I'll rip him apart!"
Remus raised his eyebrows in barely suppressed shock. "Don't talk like that," he snapped. "I know you'd never hurt a fly."
"Not a fly, but maybe a snake."
Remus shook his head. "Don't do anything of the sort. I'll. . .try and sort it out."
"Promise?"
"Promise."
Sirius withdrew his hand finally, but his fingers gently stroked Remus' own hand. The werewolf shivered again, but it had nothing to do with the cold this time. Sirius gave him a small smile.
"I'm only angry because I love you, Moony."
Remus nodded. "I know."
"No. You still don't." Sirius reached out to touch Remus' cheek. "I love you with a passion so intense that it continues to scare me every single day. Knowing you've been with someone else has killed me over and over again, and now I know who it was, it's taking all my will power not to hunt him down and tear his limbs off. One by one," he added, as if relishing the idea. "And I don't care how much you love him. You could be carrying his baby and I'd still want him to suffer every agony under the sun. Twice."
Through his astonishment, the only thing Remus could think to say was, "I'm male, Sirius. I can't carry anyone's babies."
"Well no, but you know what I mean."
Remus stared at him, unable to drag his gaze away. "How long have you felt like this?"
"Forever."
"I mean in mortal terms."
"A decade. More."
"Since we were fourteen?"
Sirius shrugged. "Maths always was my weakness. But that's not the point. God, Remus, you're everything to me. Please tell me I mean something to you. Tell me I'm more to you than Lucius stinking Malfoy."
"I-" Remus began, but he was cut short by something hitting the window. He leaped to his feet and pulled the window open, letting the bedraggled owl tumble in. For the first time he noticed it was raining heavily outside and a peal of thunder sounded somewhere close by.
"It's from James."
Sirius took the note and read aloud. "Come here tomorrow. Both of you. That means Remus too." He blinked. "That was abrupt."
"I wonder if they're all right." Remus frowned as he sat down again, this time next to Sirius.
"Must be. They would have called for us immediately if it was urgent."
"I suppose." But Remus continued to scowl at the note lying on the table. The owl landed beside him and pecked at him until he gave it a chocolate frog from his pocket. It flapped off into the night, but not before tugging the window closed behind it. Sirius and Remus were left alone again.
"You were about to tell me whether you adore me or not," said Sirius, giving his friend a wry smile.
"I remember."
". . . And?"
Remus looked coy for a moment, then leaned forwards and kissed Sirius once on the lips. Before Sirius could pull him back, he stood up and stepped away.
"Not now," he said firmly. "I'm still with Lucius, and whatever else I am, I'm not a traitor."
Sirius laughed hoarsely. "Do you think Malfoy cares?"
"Possibly."
"He doesn't, Remus. He doesn't care about you at all, he's using you. Can't you see that?"
Remus nodded once, but turned away and walked into the living room. Sirius followed him at a distance, slightly wary of Remus as ever at this time in the lunar calendar, and watched as the werewolf stared at the large photo on the mantelpiece of the two of them together with Peter, Lily and James. Beside it was the Potters' wedding photo.
"Are you okay, Moony?"
Remus shrugged slightly, and tapped the glass protecting Lily and James' photo. The little figures within the frame stepped aside so they didn't get poked, then moved back together to hug each other again. "That," muttered Remus, "is all I've ever wanted. Did you know that?"
"James' tux?"
"No! To be normal, Sirius! They're perfect, aren't they?" he said it fondly, a small smile touching his lips. "Who wouldn't want to be like that?"
Sirius shrugged. "You're not going to find normality with Lucius Malfoy."
"I thought he'd help me. He gave me a job, money, confidence. But nothing's actually changed, has it?"
"Nope." Sirius stepped softly towards Remus. "You're a complete freak. You always have been and you always will be – but you're my freak."
Remus grinned weakly. He looked exhausted all of a sudden, as if he'd been running a marathon all day, and Sirius paused to stare into his eyes for a second; tomorrow was full moon and in the days beforehand Remus could become unpredictable and even dangerous. But now he just looked in desperate need of a hug, so Sirius gave him one. He wrapped the werewolf protectively in his arms and pulled him close, half expecting to be pushed away. But Remus' hands slid round his waist, and his head rested on the taller man's shoulder. Sirius kissed him on the cheek and ran tentative fingers through his hair.
"Do you really love me?" Remus whispered suddenly.
"Didn't I embellish that point enough?"
Remus chuckled. "Not quite. Try again."
Sirius thought for a moment. "Right," he said eventually. He nudged Remus' chin up with his hand, then gripped it between thumb and forefinger so he could take Remus' lower lip between his teeth, running his tongue over the cracked but delicate skin. His other hand undid the first couple of buttons on Remus' shirt and stroked the pale, exposed skin as he deepened the kiss. Remus' arms were still around his waist, and he gripped Sirius' shirt, almost tearing the material. Sirius pulled him closer, continuing to undo his shirt, but Remus was suddenly hit by a bout of conscience.
"I told you," he murmured into Sirius' mouth. "I can't do this."
"Well you seem to be doing fine so far." Sirius grinned at him, then licked his ear, laughing delightedly at Remus' shudder of pleasure. "You're excelling yourself, in fact."
"I can't be held responsible for this-" Remus began, but Sirius was almost desperate now and didn't hear him. He dropped to his knees in front of Remus, kissing and stroking his chest and stomach; nothing Remus could have said would have stopped him, had the werewolf felt inclined to say anything at all right then. From his position it became obvious to Sirius that even Remus couldn't fail to be aroused by the situation, so he met little resistance as he unbuttoned the werewolf's trousers and let the garment drop to the floor.
"You okay?" he asked, finally glancing up at Remus' face again.
"Yes . . . But Sirius, I think this is not a good time."
"There's never a perfect time Moony."
"Maybe I didn't make myself clear. I don't think this is the best time right here. Look."
Sirius glanced towards the window, which was wide open. Being, until five minutes ago a pair of bachelors, they did not own any net curtains and therefore anyone passing by could easily look straight into the living room.
"Ah," said Sirius, "I see." He jumped to his feet, grabbed Remus' arm and dragged him to the bedroom.
Remus knew he should have done something to resist, but he physically couldn't; the sheer lustful enthusiasm of Sirius overwhelmed him and he found himself responding hungrily to every kiss and caress. Sirius' lips were magnetic to his and there was nothing he could do to pry them away so they staggered, locked together, to the bed. Sirius pushed him almost forcefully down, but gave him a moment's opportunity to protest or resist before straddling him and perching on his stomach. He nestled his face in Remus' hair, deeply inhaling that ever-present scent of warm cinnamon, and planted one hand firmly on either side of his head, looming over him half- predatorily and half-protectively. Remus was breathing deeply, but he kept glancing beyond Sirius as if expecting someone to be there in the room with them. Sirius glanced nervously behind him.
"What's wrong?" he asked.
"I shouldn't-"
"Do you want to?" Remus nodded. "Then why shouldn't you?"
Remus looked like he was going to say something else, but eventually decided on "if you don't kiss me again soon I think I'm going to die a very painful death." Sirius grinned briefly then kissed the werewolf ravenously. He had never tasted anything as enchanting as Remus and if it wasn't for the pressing situation arising in his trousers he would never have broken away from his lover's lips. But he finally had to sit up and allow Remus to relieve them of the rest of their clothing before pushing the werewolf back down and applying his lips instead to his neck and shoulder. He drew back when he tasted blood, and found the semi-healed bite mark on Remus' neck.
"Ergh. Malfoy?"
Remus looked guilty. "I'm sorry."
"Never mind." Sirius wasn't interested in shoulders anyway. He placed a line of kisses down Remus' stomach causing Remus to let out a giggle which he quickly stifled. "Ticklish?" asked Sirius with a wolfish grin. Remus nodded and wriggled in a rather delightful way as Sirius ran his tongue across from hip to hip. Then he sunk his teeth into the flesh, nipping and licking and kissing as he moved down slightly. It was like a waking dream, and he wasn't sure even now if he should be doing this to Remus, who had protested so little outwardly but had inwardly been begging him to stop. Everything he had longed to do to Remus was now possible; all those secret desires and fantasies could be acted out for real instead of over and over within the confines of his head as he stared longingly at his oblivious werewolf. Nonetheless, he wondered if it was right but it was too late now, and any thoughts of going back had long since left Remus' mind. He yelped and gasped and made other interesting sounds which Sirius quickly learned to manipulate with carefully timed movements. Remus' breathing became quicker and shorter, and finally he sighed forcefully and relaxed. Sirius moved to straddle him again and Remus pulled him down for a desperate kiss, having been deprived for several minutes.
"Sirius! Sirius!!"
He might not have realised it wasn't his lover calling his name if he hadn't had his mouth locked with the other's in an anxious fight to become as close as physically possibly without doing each other any serious damage. Remus apparently hadn't heard the call at all, which was strange. Sirius tried to pull away but something was holding him firmly against the lithe, warm body beneath him; however as soon as he realised Remus was not holding him down at all and it was, in fact, himself keeping him there, he pried himself away.
"Sirius?" this questioning voice was Remus this time, staring up at him, suddenly frightened. Sirius put his finger to his lips, slid off the bed and padded to the door. He leaped back suddenly as the door was forced open and James tumbled in, shoving his hair out of his eyes and looking anxious.
"There you are! I was starting to panic, very weird for you to abandon the house at this time of night, I-" suddenly James stopped and stared at his best friend. "Sirius, you haven't got any clothes on," he said bluntly.
Sirius bundled him out of the door and shut it firmly behind him. He stood facing his friend in the hall, stark naked and short of breath, the warm and welcome – although rather unexpected - taste of cinnamon in the back of his throat. "I know, Prongs, I was in bed."
"Neither did Moony."
"Ah. I thought you hadn't seen-"
James shrugged. He seemed panicky. "Glad for you, Paddy. Nice to know you're finally getting some. But I need your help, urgently."
Sirius frowned. The door opened behind him and a fully-clad Remus emerged. "Everything all right?" he asked.
"Yeah. I think so. We just need a hand with some charms and - well you know I wouldn't ask if it wasn't urgent. Dumbledore says Lily and I are in danger. I don't know how he knows, but I trust him, and Lily won't leave and I need to put some more protection on the house because I think someone's been watching us. We didn't exactly see them but-"
"All right, we're coming," said Sirius, "once I get some clothes on. You can explain on the way."