Insert Disclaimer Here
This is the third story in the string. In order: "Beyond Misconceptions", "Nervous", and "Invincible Summer"
Pre White House, Campaign Trail
Enjoy :o)
Invincible Summer
"In the midst of winter, I found there was in me an invincible summer"- Albert Camus
From the outside
to the inside I couldn't tell you how it really was
There has to be more on one hand,
keep your head above water on the other, the other.
The drone in your voice, and the fly on the wall said,
"It's over, it's over, it's over, it is "
What do I wish for you, what do I wish?
It's over, it's over, it is.
"It's Over", Lisa Loeb
Arizona, July 9th 1998
"Damnit, Sam, Wake up!" Josh banged on Sam and Toby's door again, then kicked it when there was still no answer. "Come on," he sighed.
"Josh?" He spun around at the unexpected quiet voice from behind. CJ was standing in the doorway of her adjoining room. He stared at her a moment, startled. She brushed her curly hair away from her pinched face. Her other hand rested on the doorframe. She looked incredibly young and sleepy in too large pajama pants and a t-shirt.
"Hey," he said finally. "I didn't think I was being all that loud. Sorry to wake you," he explained lamely. She kept squinting at him until he realized that she wasn't blinded by the hallway light, but rather couldn't see him. He walked towards her and watched as her face started to relax until he was about an arms length away and her eyes sort of focused on him. "Sorry," he apologized again.
"You didn't wake me. What's up?" She asked.
Josh sighed. He really didn't want to explain his predicament, since he knew that CJ had somehow assumed the role of the shoulder to cry on. She'd stayed up the whole night with Sam when Lisa had dumped him over the phone because Josh had been elsewhere with Mandy, setting things up for a later campaign stop. He also knew that she was somehow in the middle of Toby's dissolving marriage, and he knew that for some odd reason Toby and Andrea Wyatt's marital problems bothered her greatly.
"Josh, what's gone wrong?" she asked again.
"Mandy's leaving the campaign," he said, finally. CJ's eyes went wide as she stared at him. "She kicked me out, so I thought I'd crash in Sam's room, but I can't get them to answer."
"That's because Toby's passed out again, and Sam's taken to wearing earplugs because Toby's an annoying drunk. He tends to ramble on, even if no one's listening." She informed him.
"Great. Guess I'll just go sleep on the floor of the war room." He sighed, since he didn't relish the thought of how he'd feel in the morning.
"Or you could crash in here, go out through the connecting door in the morning. I've got an extra bed." He stared at her as she turned around as though his following wasn't a question.
"How'd you get a room to yourself?" he asked, following her into the room. He knew that CJ and Donna had become roommates, and that oftentimes Margaret shared with them as well.
"Elizabeth and her family were supposed to meet us, but Steve had to handle something at work, so they'll catch up with us in Denver. Mrs. Landingham thought I could use a bit of alone time after the last stop, where all us women were crammed into one room." She put her glasses on and finally focused on him. "Hi."
"Hi," he replied, amused. "Didn't know you wore contacts."
"Oh, yes." she said, sitting cross-legged on her bed.
"And reading glasses?" he asked. He and Toby were practically the only people on the whole campaign without them.
"Yup." She nodded and shrugged. "Grad school."
"I'd believe it. So, you're pretty blind, then." he stated.
She grinned. "I can see about as far as an arm's length away before everything dissolves into a multicolored haze. And what I do see is pretty blurry after a certain point. So, I can manage to walk across a room, or hold a conversation, but if I have to read anything on a wall, or on a page in front of me, for that matter, I'm in trouble."
"I noticed," he replied.
"So, Mandy," She said, pulling her legs up under her chin and motioning him towards the empty bed.
He said down as he started to explain. "We're just not used to this much time together. Usually, we see each other once, maybe twice a week. We don't live together, because we're both too busy to look for a place and neither of our apartments are big enough for the both of us. But now..." he trailed off, not really wanting to discuss it.
"Now you're in each other's back pockets," she finished.
"Yeah," Josh sighed. "This campaign is truly hell on relationships, did you notice?" He was startled when she dropped her head onto her knees, hiding her face. "Hey, I'm sorry," he said tentatively.
"It's ok," she said, looking back up.
She didn't say anything else and he yawned, tired. "Why were you up?" he asked.
"The A/C turned on. It's loud." He looked skeptical, but didn't comment. "I'm not much of a sleeper. I wake up easily, especially when I'm not in my own bed," she admitted.
"Oh," he said. "Well, I have an idea. Why don't you lay back down, take off your glasses and turn out the lights while I get comfortable over here, and you can tell me all about the relationship that you sacrificed on this altar of democracy." He smiled lopsidedly at her.
She sighed, but reached for her covers. As she turned out the lights, she said, "I didn't."
"You didn't give anyone up," he asked surprised.
"Nope." Her voice was quiet, but light enough.
"Hmm," he said.
"It's been almost a year," she said softly.
"What happened?" He propped himself up on one elbow and looked over at her bed. He could just barely make her out in the faint light from the bathroom.
"We were living together, I was completely broke and he just couldn't keep carrying me, so I left," she said simply.
"How long had you been together?" he asked after a moment.
"Jeez. Let me think. There was Tad, and then I went to Sacramento, met Jeff two months later, started dating him about three weeks later, so we were together about 18 months," she finished decisively.
"Tad?" he asked.
"Tad Whitney. He works..."
"For State," he interrupted. "You went out with that guy!?" he asked incredulously.
"For about six weeks, yeah. It was a mistake," she said flatly.
"I should hope." She didn't respond. "No, no, I'm sorry," he continued. "Everyone winds up in a relationship they should have avoided at some point in their life. It happens."
"Yeah." she said softly. He got the impression that Tad Whitney wasn't the only jerk CJ had dated in her life.
"So, Sacramento?" he asked, hoping to change the subject.
"EMILY'S List sent me up there. I'd been in LA, but looking to leave because I hated it. They brought me up, even though the office was way overcrowded. I mean, I was sharing a cubicle. Not an office, a cubicle. There was one phone and one phone line in the cube, and the woman I shared with actually had to take meetings with donors and candidates, so I would take my laptop and move down to this cyber coffee shop down the street. They were really cool about me plugging my laptop in and spending the day there so long as I bought coffee and lunch there. Didn't even charge me for the access. Jeff was a teacher in a school down the street. He'd just broken up with a long-term girlfriend because she'd moved to Seattle and didn't want to do the whole long distance thing. He'd come to the shop after school let out to grade papers because he didn't want to be alone in his house all night. Since we were usually the only customers in the afternoon, we got to talking, since we both got to know the staff of the place really well. One of the guys who worked there told Jeff to ask me out. He did, and that was that," she finished, sadly.
"You really liked him," Josh said after a moment.
"Yeah, I did," she sighed. "We might have made it, if it weren't for the finances of the thing. I moved in with him because I was about to be evicted, because I didn't have the money to pay rent. I had to make my loan payments, which were monumental, because I was in danger of defaulting on my undergrad loans, and once I finished those, I still had all my grad school loans. I'd had an assistantship, but I'd had to take out loans in order to live, because the money only went so far, you know?"
"Yeah," he said, even though he had a feeling that he really didn't know what she meant. He'd been lucky enough to get a substantial scholarship, and his parents had helped a bit with living expenses. CJ sounded as though she'd put herself though school, something he really hadn't done.
"So, I left EMILY'S List, got a job with a PR firm in LA, with a very nice salary, I might add, and moved back to LA. I worked there for 9 months before I got fired. Fortunately, Toby showed up at my house that day, so I wound up here." she explained.
"Did you get the loans taken care of?" he asked. They were only making $600 a week before taxes, and basically living in hotels, which got expensive. All of them had substantial credit card debt at the moment, and they had months to go. He couldn't imagine the financial gymnastics that would have to go into to juggling loan payments on top of everything else.
"Yup. Very first thing I did. We got paid monthly, and my salary the first three months went almost exclusively towards the loans. For the first time in my adult life, I am just about debt free, or I will be as soon as I pay off this next American Express bill." She sounded justifiably proud of herself.
"Wow." he said, not knowing what else to say.
They were quiet for a while, and just as Josh had decided that CJ had fallen asleep again, he heard her say his name. "Yeah?" he asked.
"Are you and Mandy breaking up?" she asked softly.
He sighed. "I don't know, sweet-tart." That had become his nickname for her as they'd become friends, although he rarely used it in public.
"Why do you call me that?" she asked. Even though she'd come to accept it as a term of endearment rather than an insult, she'd never asked why he'd chosen it for her nickname.
"Because you are," he replied simply.
"What do you mean? I could understand if you said sweetheart, but I could never figure out why you say sweet-tart," she said.
"Again, because you are. It just popped into my head when I met you. You seem nice, but you've got a bite to you. It's a good thing, CJ," he explained.
"Oh, okay," she said.
Another long moment passed, and as he found himself drifting away, Josh found himself murmuring, "CJ?"
"Yeah?" came the drowsy reply
"What's CJ stand for?" he asked.
"Claudia Jean." she answered.
"Why don't you just go by Claudia?" he asked.
"Because I don't." she said, sounding slightly more awake. She paused, and then said, "If you like, you can use Claudia Jean occasionally, but please don't call me Claudia."
"Okay, I won't." he assured her.
"Don't abuse the privilege, though. Only special people get to call me Claudia Jean," she told him sleepily.
"So, I'm a special person?" he asked, smiling.
"Yeah", she whispered. "Yeah, you're a special person, Josh."
"You're pretty special yourself, Claudia Jean," he said as his eyes slid shut and he fell asleep.
Is there a cure among us
From this processed sanity
I weaken with each voice that sings
In this world of purchase
I'm going to buy back memories
To awaken some old qualities
Have I got a long way to run? Yeah, I run
"Run", Collective Soul
Josh woke up and sat straight up when he realized he was alone in the bed. Looking around, he felt confused. There were two twin beds instead of the double bed he thought he'd fallen asleep in. He'd gotten out of bed to try and figure out where he was when CJ stepped out of the bathroom. "Ah," he said, feeling a bit less confused as he remembered what had happened at 3 am.
"G'morning," she said, smiling. He stood and looked at her blearily. She was wearing cargo pants and a blue tank top, and her hair was still wet from the shower.
"What time is it?" he asked.
"About 6:45. I thought I'd let you sleep until I woke up the sleepyheads next door," she finished as the phone rang. She grabbed it and listened a moment. "Ok, thanks," she said, hanging up. At his quizzical look, she explained, "Wake-up call."
"But you're up already," he asked, sitting down on the edge of the bed.
"Yeah, I know. It's in case I lose track of time. My call comes five minutes before their call," she told him, waving her hand at the door in the wall.
"Why?" he asked, confused.
"Because it takes more than a phone call to get them up and moving in the morning. We worked out a system that works pretty well. They get the wake- up call at 10 to 7, I wait 5 minutes, then call their room myself, and then they get 5 minutes to either come knock on my door or open the connecting doorway before I go in there and physically shake them both awake," she told him as she towel dried her hair.
He nodded. "When did you get up?"
"About 5:30." He watched her twist her hair back into a clip.
"Um, why?" They weren't actually required to be anywhere until 8.
"Went running. It's beautiful out there this morning," she said.
"You went running at 5:30 this morning?" he asked her incredulously.
"Yeah," she nodded as she slid her arms into a floral print collared shirt.
"Alone?" he asked again. When she nodded again, he asked, "Wasn't it dark ?"
"Not by the time I got back. The sunrises are awesome here." She sounded utterly unconcerned as she finished dressing and reached for her makeup bag.
"Do you do this often?" he asked, getting up to lean against the doorway to the bathroom.
"Do what? Put on makeup?" she asked, looking over at him.
"No, go running at 5:30 am in the dark by yourself." he replied, giving her a sardonic look.
"Oh, that. Yeah, sure." she said as she sucked in her cheeks to apply her blush.
He shook his head. "That's not incredibly...I don't know, prudent."
"Why not?" she asked, pausing in her eye shadow application.
"Well, it's dark, you're alone, and no one knows where you've gone. I mean, what if something happens?" he said, shrugging.
"You guys can always reach me, I take my cell and my beeper with me," she said.
"No, not with us. What if something happens to you?" he clarified.
"Nothing's going to happen to me, Josh. And if it does, I've got my cell, I can call someone." she shrugged.
"CJ, don't get me wrong, I believe you can take care of yourself, I'm just saying, you're in a strange city, you don't know people, something could happen to you out there in the dark, alone. And I don't think anyone wants that to happen." he said gently.
"Josh, look, it's fine. I've been doing this since college." she told him, throwing her makeup back in the bag. "Nothing's ever happened."
"You went running at 5:30 am in LA?" he asked.
"Well, no, it was usually a bit later when I was working at Trinton-Day. I didn't have to be at work until 9, so I usually ran around 7." she brushed past him and grabbed the phone. He shook his head as he watched her call Toby and Sam's room. "Guys, it's me, 5 minutes, all right...no Sam, don't tell me you're up, I know you're not...tell him I want to see his shining face at my door in 5 minutes...ok, bye."
"Do you tell anyone when you go?" he asked, tiredly. He seriously did not like the idea of CJ out and about in the early morning with no one knowing where she went.
"When I share a room with Donna, she knows I'm leaving," she replied, tidying up the room by throwing her clothes in her suitcase.
"Well, that's something at least. What about when you aren't sharing, like today?" he pressed.
She sighed, annoyed. "When I'm not sharing, which doesn't happen often, I stick my head in the strat room, if someone's in there I tell them I'm going running, if no one's up yet, I just go."
Josh was about to say something else, when someone knocked on the connecting door. CJ opened it to reveal a decidedly grumpy Toby. "I'm up, are you happy?" he grumbled.
"Ecstatic. Here, have some water," she handed him a water bottle and a bottle of aspirin.
Toby grunted something that sounded like a thank you and squinted over at Josh. "What're you doing here?"
"Mandy kicked me out, you guys didn't answer the door, and I woke CJ up while I was banging on your door, so she offered me her extra bed," Josh explained.
"Why did Madeline kick you out?" Sam asked, poking his head into the room to catch the last remark.
Josh sighed and glanced at his watch. "At this moment, Madeline Hampton is most likely explaining to Leo that she is leaving the campaign. She kicked me out because she was sick of me trying to talk her out of it, and so she could pack without interference."
Toby nodded. "Okay. I'm going now," he said as he walked back into his room. In the silence that followed, they could hear the shower start running.
"She's leaving?" Sam asked, coming into the room and sitting down on CJ's bed. CJ pushed him over a bit gently before slinging her suitcase up onto the bed and resumed packing.
"Yes, she is." Josh flopped onto his back as there was a knock on CJ's door.
"It's not locked," she called. Josh sighed, while she shot him a dirty look.
Donna opened the door and stuck her head in, saying, "CJ, do you know where Josh...oh," she finished as she saw Josh sprawled on the bed.
"What's up?" he asked wearily.
"Nothing, Mandy wondered where you were and I said I'd check Sam and Toby's room for her, but no one answered," she explained.
"Toby's in the shower," Sam told her. Donna nodded and plopped down on the bed next to Sam.
"Do you know if she talked to Leo yet?" Josh asked after a moment.
"No, it didn't come up," Donna said. "Leo's up, though. He's eating breakfast in the strategy room with Mrs. Bartlet."
"Where'd you see Mandy, then?" Josh asked.
"In the hallway, down near your room. What's everyone hanging out in here for anyway?" Donna asked.
"Well, I just woke up," Sam replied.
"We're leaving tonight, I don't know if I'll have time to pack later, and I had to get them up," CJ explained.
"I'm...hiding from Mandy," Josh said, hesitantly.
"Well, she's looking for you, and she'll figure out where you are sooner or later. Where'd you sleep, anyway?" Donna asked.
"Here." CJ told her. Donna looked quizzical, so CJ explained; "He was banging on Sam and Toby's door at 3 am so I told him to crash in the extra bed." Donna nodded, enlightened.
"I'd better go find out what she wants," Josh sighed. He pushed himself up off the bed and strode into Sam's room.
"Why's she leaving?" Sam asked CJ, who shrugged.
"He didn't say."
"Wait, Mandy's leaving?" Donna asked.
"Apparently. Keep it under your hat until it's official, ok?" CJ told her.
"Yeah, of course," Donna said, wide-eyed. "Did they...you know."
CJ shook her head. "Not yet, anyway. God only knows what's actually going to happen, now."
"Maybe it's for the best," Sam pointed out. "She doesn't exactly bring out the best in him."
"I'd noticed. It's his life, though, and they've been together for some time. It must work for them on some level," CJ said, zipping her suitcase. "I'm gonna go eat, ok?"
"Ok, I'm gonna go flip channels until Toby gets out of the shower. See you in a bit," Sam said, standing and stretching.
"I'm going to go pack up and get Margaret moving. She was still asleep when I went to eat," Donna said following CJ from the room. CJ nodded and headed down the hall to the campaign's common room.
And what you wished for
Won't come true.
You aren't surprised, love,
Are you?"
"What You Wish For", Guster
Josh wandered into the common room later that afternoon after a long argument with Mandy and an equally interminable discussion with Leo. Sam and Toby were arguing vociferously about the speech the Governor was delivering tomorrow night in Denver. Donna and Margaret were playing cards in the corner, attempting to avoid the occasional flying object flung by one of the combatants. Mrs. Bartlet was watching from her vantage point by the window, an amused look on her face. Various other campaign staff were moving about the room, oblivious to the screaming as they searched the piles of boxes for campaign flyers and other paraphernalia to distribute around town as well as at the speech later. The objective of Josh's search, however, was not in the room, as he'd assumed. He picked his way across the room to stand by Abbey Bartlet.
"Hello, Josh. How are you doing?" she asked warmly.
"I'm all right, Mrs. Bartlet. How about you?" he asked politely
"Oh, I'm fine, Josh. Quite a show, isn't it?" she said, indicating Toby who was slamming an empty aluminum can down onto the table to make a particularly forceful point.
"Always, ma'am. What's today's issue?" Josh wondered.
"I think it has something to do with timing, at the moment. They appear to have moved beyond content. Are you looking for my husband, or Leo?" she asked, as she ducked the wad of paper Toby tossed over his shoulder.
"Neither, actually. The Governor's on-site with Mandy, and I just finished talking to Leo. I was actually looking for CJ. I need to check the timetable with her and give her a heads up on a few things." he explained.
"Mandy's departure," Abbey surmised.
"Mmm." Josh said noncommittally. Donna looked up, noticing he was in the room and said something to Margaret as she pulled herself up from the floor.
"Josh, you need to..." She began as she neared him and Abbey
"Check times with CJ, I was on my way to do that," he interrupted her.
"I was going to say pack, but yeah, you need to do that too." Donna told him.
"I'll pack after I talk to CJ. I don't know if we need to get out to the site early or what," he said.
"Ok. You'll be here for dinner?" she asked.
"Think so. Depends on CJ's timetables," he said.
Donna nodded and frowned a moment. "Josh," she began, but he interrupted her again.
"Go back to your card game. There's nothing you need to be doing right now, enjoy the downtime. In fact, you and Margaret can move out of here if you want. Leo's headed out to the speech site, he won't need her until he gets back," he informed her.
"Ok. I'll be around," she said.
"I'll find you after I've talked to CJ and we'll figure out the schedule," he said. Donna nodded again, looked at him another minute, and went back to her corner. Josh sighed.
Abbey smiled sympathetically. "You all right?" she asked.
"I'm fine," he said. "Have you seen CJ?" he asked.
"Not since breakfast, I'm afraid." Abbey said. "She's back from the site, I do know that, but I don't know where she disappeared to. She might be with Zoey somewhere."
"No, Zoey's out in the pool. I passed her in the lobby," Josh told her.
"Ah, that's where she's gotten to. I'd wondered. She's pretty bored today." Abbey said.
"Well, there's a bunch of kids out in the pool, so I think she's found something to do, at least," Josh sighed. "Ok, I'd better go track CJ down."
"Did you try her room?" Abbey asked.
"Yeah, no answer. I could just call her cell, but I'm pretty sure she's here somewhere," he said.
"Well, good luck. If you run into my daughter, please remind her to put some sunscreen on, or she's going to be one uncomfortable cookie tonight on the bus," Abbey smiled.
"Will do, ma'am. See you later," Josh said as he made his way back across the room. He walked down the hall towards the lobby. Zoey waved from the pool entrance. "Hey Shorty, thought you'd be in the water already," he said.
"Forgot my sunglasses," she explained.
"Your mom said to remind you to put some sunscreen on or, and I quote, she's going to be one uncomfortable cookie on the bus tonight," he told her.
"Did it," Zoey said, rolling her eyes, but smiling.
"Good deal. You haven't seen CJ by chance, have you?" he asked.
"Not for awhile. She was in the strat room when Sam and Toby started fighting a couple of hours ago, but she left before I did. Maybe she's out on the veranda or something," Zoey said.
"Thanks. Have fun," he told her as she waved and ducked out the door. Looking around the lobby, he didn't recognize anyone else. A random volunteer walked past and he reached out to snag the guy's sleeve. "Hey, have you seen CJ Cregg?"
"Tall woman, right?" he asked.
"Right," he replied.
"She was in the war room earlier, but I've been out," the guy said.
"Ok, thanks." Josh sighed, and then walked over to the front desk.
"May I help you, sir?" the middle-aged woman behind the counter asked.
"Yes, have you seen a tall woman with curly red hair come through here lately? She's wearing a blue shirt," he asked.
"Hair pulled back with a barrette and khaki pants?" the woman asked.
"That's her, yeah."
"I think she went outside. She had a laptop and a box with her." she replied.
"Great, thanks," It was the most concrete information he'd gotten, so he headed out the door. To the left was the swimming pool, but there was a wide, wraparound porch to the right. He hadn't noticed it the day before. Shrugging, he took a chance and walked around the corner.
Down towards the far end of the building was a cluster of chairs and tables. As Josh approached, he saw that there was someone sitting there. A rather large green water bottle sat on the arm of one of the mission chairs, obscuring the downcast face of the chair's occupant. Josh recognized the duct tape strip wrapped around the bottle, though. Donna had done that and written with a magic marker "This is CJ's water bottle. If you throw it out, you will have to go back to the rest stop where we found it and buy her a new one" because CJ had been so excited about the 1 liter bottle. She and Donna had raved about the bottles for several miles until Toby threatened to pitch them out the window. Josh watched her from a few feet away. She had her headphones on, her laptop plugged into a surge protector that was plugged into the wall outlet, and her "mobile desk" from the bus balanced on the chair arms. She was sitting Indian style and Josh's ankles hurt in sympathy. Almost unwilling to disturb her, since she seemed to be the only one of the campaign staff getting actual work done, he finally walked in front of her to get her attention. Touching the edge of the desk, he said loudly, "CJ?"
She looked up, surprised. Pulling her headphones off, she said, "Hey, how'd you know I was out here?"
"Process of elimination," he explained, pulling another chair over and sitting down.
"Ah. Are they still at it?" she asked.
"Oh, yes. They've escalated to throwing things, now. Or Toby has at any rate. Sam's raising his voice, which is probably about the equivalent." Josh smiled a little. "I need to know what the time table for tonight is."
"Oh, right. I meant to come in and give it to Donna, but I got involved with this stuff for Denver." She moved papers around, until she came up with a much-scribbled scrap of paper torn from a legal pad. "Dinner is at 5:30, then I'm gonna shower, dress, and you and I are leaving here at 7, everyone else will follow at 7:30, makeup and sound checks start at 7:40, and we're live at 8. Speech lasts until about 8:45, supposedly, anyway, I think that's one of Sam and Toby's issues, then audience questions for 15 minutes, then at 9:10, I talk to the press, Bartlet takes questions starting at 9:15, and we close shop at 9:30. Tear down, load the equipment on the van, we ought to be back here by 10:30, time enough to take a nap until the bus leaves at 4:30 am for Denver," she finished.
"Ok, Sam and I have to take Mandy to catch an 10:45 flight, so we're going to cut out when we close shop," he said quietly.
"No problem. It'll probably actually go quicker if Toby and Sam can't argue about the speech afterwards." CJ was glad Josh would have some moral support for that trip.
He sighed. "Leo's going to be looking for you here in awhile."
"Official Mandy announcement?" she asked.
"That among other things. It's better if he just talks to you. Just remember that both Mandy and I agreed to everything he's going to tell you, ok?" Josh said, looking her straight in the eye.
CJ was silent a moment, then nodded. "Ok."
"Any problems with the press today?" he asked.
"Nope. Everything was pretty low-key. They're saving the hardball questions for tonight," she explained.
"Well, if you want to run though anything, let me know, I'm glad to be your sounding board," he said, smiling lopsidedly.
"Ok. Not right now, though. Maybe by dinner," she replied, smiling back a little.
"Before dinner. No campaign talk at dinnertime, remember?" he asked, recalling Abbey Bartlet's dinnertime rules. It had become pretty much policy that the main campaign staffers and the candidate's family ate dinner together at least. It was a way to touch base with everyone, and an opportunity for Bartlet to get to know his staffers better. The whole thing was Leo's idea, in an effort to increase everyone's comfort level. Everyone basically agreed it was a good idea, and there were rarely complaints.
"I know. I meant beforehand," she replied mildly.
"Why are you hiding out here? It's hot," he said after a moment.
She shrugged. "It's not hot."
"You all right?" he asked. She'd been uncharacteristically distant the past two days. The only time he'd felt like he'd been talking to the woman who'd become one of his closest friends had been last night before they'd fallen asleep.
"What? No, I'm fine, Josh. Why?" she asked.
"I dunno," he said. "If you're all right, don't worry about it."
"I'm fine. Besides, I should be asking you that question." she said softly.
"I'm ok, CJ. It's going to be all right, she'll go back to DC, get a better paying job, and be happier than she's been the whole campaign. I can handle that," he replied.
"Ok," CJ said after a moment. "If you want..."
"I know, I know," he interrupted. He paused, and then said, "Thanks."
"Always, Joshua." CJ smiled.
"You too, Claudia Jean," he grinned at her. "Don't stay out so long that you get fried, you hear?"
"I'm fine. I'm in the shade; I've got sunscreen and my water. I've lived in heat like this for quite awhile, Josh. I'm a lot more accustomed to this kind of weather than I was to New Hampshire," she retorted.
"Or Minnesota, for that matter," he said, teasing. He laughed at her visible shiver.
"God, I thought I'd never get warm after that trip. No, I'm much happier here in sunny Arizona." she said, laughing a little.
"Ok, I'm gonna let you get back to work. I've got to update Donna and put Sam and Toby in their separate corners before Bartlet gets back with Mandy and adds fuel to the fire. We'll never live though dinner if all four of them get started," Josh rolled his eyes as he stood up.
"Good luck," CJ did not envy him his task. It was one that usually fell to her, but she had effectively washed her hands of this fight several hours earlier.
"Mmm," he said, giving her a wave as he walked off.
dark and lonely, lonely man
"will you ever smile?" said the breeze again
"someday I think you will if you let us in"
"I'll try, I'll try" he whispered again
"Dark and Lonely Man", Jump, Little Children
Leo walked around the veranda towards CJ. She wasn't working, but rather staring off into the desert distance. "Hey, kiddo, what're you up to?" he asked as he approached.
She jumped slightly, and looked up guiltily. "Taking a break," she replied.
"It's ok, you're allowed to do that," he told her, taking the seat Josh had vacated an hour before. "What's up?"
"I've got the press packets for Denver finished, and I was working on the ones for St. Louis," she told him.
"Good. I think you're the only one getting anything done around here today," he sighed. "Josh give you a heads up?"
"Told me you'd be looking for me, but nothing beyond that. I knew Mandy was going," she said quietly, looking back out into the distance.
"Yeah, he said he'd told you. It's not been much of a secret today." Leo followed her gaze and saw the building thunderheads. "Going to storm soon. Maybe it'll cool things off a bit."
"It's not that hot," she told him. Leo looked at her curly bangs, which were sweat plastered to the sides of her forehead. She looked hot to him, at least.
"Ok," he said, not wanting to argue with her. "Listen, CJ, I need to talk to you about something."
"Yeah?" she asked, turning her attention back to Leo.
"You've known Toby for awhile, haven't you?" he asked.
"About 7 years, yeah," she nodded.
"Is he...I mean, does he always," Leo stumbled over the words. He didn't know exactly how to put his question delicately. "He seems to, well, drink." he finally finished.
CJ sighed and closed her eyes. "It's not always like this, no. Toby has cycles. We're not in a good one right now."
"Is it the campaign, or something else?" Leo asked.
"A little of both maybe. I mean, we're doing well, we're gaining attention, and he's still looking over his shoulder expecting to be fired any minute." CJ explained.
"We're not going to fire Toby," Leo said.
"I know. He knows, most of the time. But when you've had the losing streak and the luck he's had sometimes, you wonder." She shrugged. "He'll snap out of it."
"Are he and Andrea Wyatt getting divorced?" Leo asked after a moment. CJ looked away. "CJ, it's obvious that things are falling apart for them. I don't think a day goes by where someone doesn't overhear him on the phone fighting with her. I can understand if he doesn't want it to be public knowledge, especially in light of her campaign, and this campaign, but I should know. I'm only asking because I'm concerned about things," Leo finished.
CJ was quiet for another long moment, before saying, "They are, but he doesn't know it yet."
Leo frowned. "What do you mean by that."
She sighed. "Andrea got the papers drawn up by a friend of hers. She's waiting until after the election to put it in motion beyond that. I made her promise to tell him soon, but she doesn't want to, because she knows he'll try to talk her out of it. It's not that she doesn't love him anymore, or that he doesn't love her. Neither of them has been unfaithful, in the least. It's that they're just both strong willed, stubborn, opinionated people, who mix like nitroglycerine and earthquakes."
"That's quite an image, there, CJ." Leo said, smiling a little.
"It's true though," she said.
"I don't doubt it. How do you know this and he doesn't?" Leo asked.
"Andi told me last week," she shrugged.
"I didn't know you knew her, too," he said.
"I met Toby about a year after they were married. We met because it was 2 am, and we were both the only ones still working on our respective campaigns. I needed a staple gun and couldn't find one with staples, so I went over to swipe one from their offices. He found me one and watched me proceed to put a staple through my hand because I was so sleep deprived I pushed down on the trigger while holding it. After bandaging my hand, which had been gushing blood pretty well, he talked me into coming home with him so I could get some sleep because I wasn't really in any shape to drive before the staple gun incident, and so someone would be around if my hand started bleeding again. Andrea was still up when we got to their place and she took one look at my hand, which had, in fact, started bleeding again during the car ride, and dragged me to the emergency room, where they put three stitches into the palm of my hand, gave me a tetanus shot, and a lecture on sleep deprivation and equipment safety. It took them 3 hours to get around to me, so Andi and I had plenty of time to bond. By Election Day, I was pretty close friends with both of them, and we kept in touch fairly well after they left California," she explained.
"I see." Leo said.
"I'll talk to him. Maybe he'll knock it off if I tell him he's not making it any easier on himself," she sighed.
"That's probably a good idea. If he needs something, tell him to come talk to me, ok? I'd be glad to help however I can," Leo told her.
She nodded. "Anything else?" she asked.
"Yeah," he said. "I need you to take over Mandy's job." He figured it would be easier if he came right out and said it.
"Instead of my job?" she asked, unperturbed.
He shook his head. "In addition to your job. You're the only one who can manage the press, and we're getting more and more attention every day. We've got some sticky situations coming up, and I'm really going to need your talents with the press. But, you're also the person with the best PR background. Mandy's good, but Toby said he thinks you're better."
"I don't have near the amount of experience Mandy has," she countered.
"No, and I know that. But Toby and I both think you have just as much talent, if not more. You handle the press much better than she does. Better than a lot of people I've seen." Leo did not give compliments lightly, and he knew CJ knew that. He also knew that of all the people on this campaign, the person he felt was in the least danger of getting a swelled head was CJ.
She blushed. "So, I'd be doing PR and press duties?"
"Right. We'll see about getting you an assistant as soon as we get the chance, which might not be until we head home, but I promise you, we'll find someone for you. It'll be an awful lot of work for you in the meantime, but I'm sure you can handle it. You won't have to set any dates up for this trip, they're all settled, and Mandy had some preliminary ones for the next swing, but you'll have to finalize them. Do you know anything about websites?" he asked.
CJ nodded. "I can use FrontPage. I can probably figure out whatever program we were planning to use."
"Good. Mandy was in the process of revamping things, so I'm going to need to you finish that. I'd contract it out, but we don't have the money, so if you can do it yourself, that would be great."
"Ok," CJ nodded.
"You all right with this?" Leo asked.
She shrugged. "I sort of expected it, after Josh said you guys had talked about Mandy's leaving."
Leo looked at her carefully. He had first hand experience of how CJ would just keep quiet when something wasn't right. "You're sure?" When she nodded, he continued, "Ok, then, but if you start getting overwhelmed, I want to hear about it, you hear me?"
"Yessir," she told him.
"All right, then. Dinner's in an hour," he reminded her.
"I'll be there," she replied.
"I'll see you then. Don't get too hot out here, ok? It's going to be a long night," he said gently as he stood up to go.
"I'm ok, but thank you," she said softly.
He nodded and left her to get back to work.