This was one of those stupid ideas that came to me in the middle of the day while wasting time playing solitaire. It a short little fic that pokes fun at trying to get through to someone on the telephone (we've all been there, being put on hold for hours...). My brother thought it was funny, but I still want to know what you think. Can't trust my brother's judgement. .
"Hello, you've reached the Demon Hotline where we specialize in solving all your demon problems. How may I help you?"
"Yes, I need help immediately please! There's this crazy demon who's destroying my house! Ahhh! Leave my cat out of this! Please, help me!"
"Please state the exact problem you are having so we can come up with just the proper way to solve this."
"Well, it all started when I unleashed this demon from a cave at my grandfather's -"
"Ooh, did you say cave? I'm going to have to switch you over to the cave demon line."
"But, wait! I'm not even done-"
"Please hold."
"Ahhhh! What are you doing with that? No, stop!"
"Hello, this is the cave demon division, how may I assist you?"
"Hi, I have this crazed demon loose in my house!"
"Why don't you stop and start back from the beginning?"
"Okay, I accidently let this demon loose from a cave..."
"Ooh, that's never a good thing."
"Tell me about it, and now she's in love with me-"
"Did you say she loves you? I need to transfer you to another person, hold on a second."
"Grrrr.....No Ryo-Ohki, back off, I'm trying to get help. WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY LOCKED MY DAD IN THE CLOSET?!"
"Good day to you, this is the love division of the cave demon line. So you say you've got a cave demon in love with you?"
"Yes, but it's not just that. There's also this other girl-"
"Ah, love triangles, I gotta switch you over."
"WHY CAN"T I JUST TALK TO ONE PERSON?!"
"Please hold."
"sweatdrop FOR THE LOVE OF GOD CAN'T YOU TWO JUST KNOCK IT OFF! I'm not getting anywhere with this. . ."
"Love triangle sector of the cave demon in love section, what may I do for you?"
"It's not a love triangle! NO I DON"T LOVE EITHER OF YOU NOW CUT THAT OUT! NO I WILL NOT MAKE OUT WITH YOU!"
"Oh, it's that kind of love triangle. So who's the third party?"
"This stupid demon loves me and then this other girl, a princess from another planet-"
"Princess involved, eh? Please hold."
"BUT I DON"T WANT TO HOLD ANYMORE!"
"crappy music"
"You've gotten to the Princess Hotline where we specialize in helping you to better understand your princess, how may I assist you?"
"Listen, I have this princess and this demon who are currently both fighting over me and trashing my house and I need some kind of help, NOW!"
"Oooh, I gotta transfer you to the Demon Hotline, please hold."
"But I just came from the Demon Hotline! cry"
"more crappy music"
"Hello, you've reached the Demon Hotline where we specialize in solving all your demon problems. How may I help you?"
"Ugh, I've been here already. I have a demon and a princess trashing my house!"
"Oh, you're the cave demon boy. Let me switch you over to her again."
"large explosion sob I give up. . . ."
"Hello, you've reached the Demon Hotline where we specialize in solving all your demon problems. How may I help you?"
"Yes, I need help immediately please! There's this crazy demon who's destroying my house! Ahhh! Leave my cat out of this! Please, help me!"
"Please state the exact problem you are having so we can come up with just the proper way to solve this."
"Well, it all started when I unleashed this demon from a cave at my grandfather's -"
"Ooh, did you say cave? I'm going to have to switch you over to the cave demon line."
"But, wait! I'm not even done-"
"Please hold."
"Ahhhh! What are you doing with that? No, stop!"
"Hello, this is the cave demon division, how may I assist you?"
"Hi, I have this crazed demon loose in my house!"
"Why don't you stop and start back from the beginning?"
"Okay, I accidently let this demon loose from a cave..."
"Ooh, that's never a good thing."
"Tell me about it, and now she's in love with me-"
"Did you say she loves you? I need to transfer you to another person, hold on a second."
"Grrrr.....No Ryo-Ohki, back off, I'm trying to get help. WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY LOCKED MY DAD IN THE CLOSET?!"
"Good day to you, this is the love division of the cave demon line. So you say you've got a cave demon in love with you?"
"Yes, but it's not just that. There's also this other girl-"
"Ah, love triangles, I gotta switch you over."
"WHY CAN"T I JUST TALK TO ONE PERSON?!"
"Please hold."
"sweatdrop FOR THE LOVE OF GOD CAN'T YOU TWO JUST KNOCK IT OFF! I'm not getting anywhere with this. . ."
"Love triangle sector of the cave demon in love section, what may I do for you?"
"It's not a love triangle! NO I DON"T LOVE EITHER OF YOU NOW CUT THAT OUT! NO I WILL NOT MAKE OUT WITH YOU!"
"Oh, it's that kind of love triangle. So who's the third party?"
"This stupid demon loves me and then this other girl, a princess from another planet-"
"Princess involved, eh? Please hold."
"BUT I DON"T WANT TO HOLD ANYMORE!"
"crappy music"
"You've gotten to the Princess Hotline where we specialize in helping you to better understand your princess, how may I assist you?"
"Listen, I have this princess and this demon who are currently both fighting over me and trashing my house and I need some kind of help, NOW!"
"Oooh, I gotta transfer you to the Demon Hotline, please hold."
"But I just came from the Demon Hotline! cry"
"more crappy music"
"Hello, you've reached the Demon Hotline where we specialize in solving all your demon problems. How may I help you?"
"Ugh, I've been here already. I have a demon and a princess trashing my house!"
"Oh, you're the cave demon boy. Let me switch you over to her again."
"large explosion sob I give up. . . ."