"Another one, Tom."

"But Tonks! You've already had five glasses of firewhiskey! And might I add that you also downed three shots of vodka before that!"

"I'm trying to forget my memories."

"But-but Tonks! I implore that you stop! You can't keep going like this-"

"Another. One."

Tom sighed as he poured another glass of firewhiskey for a red-faced Tonks. Her hair was limp and mousey brown, and her eyes were puffy from all the crying she had been doing. She chuckled at the thought of Mad-Eye catching her drinking away her sorrows, scolding her and yelling something about "Constant Vigilance, Nymphadora!" But quite as suddenly as she thought about her mentor, he appeared to take over her mind, to cloud her heart, and Tonks found herself fighting back a tight sob as she quickly downed the glass of firewhiskey Tom had put in front of her. It had been a couple of weeks since Sirius died at the hands of Bellatrix Lestrange, but that wasn't the reason she was at the Leaky Cauldron drowning her sorrows in the comfort of alcohol. Well, it wasn't the main reason, but it was certainly adding fuel to the fire. Feeling dizzy, she folded her arms on the surface of the bar and gently laid her head down, allowing her memories to overtake the effects of the alcohol.

"Remus, please!"

"No, we've already discussed this. I'm not the man for you, Dora."

"And I've already told you that I didn't care about any of that!"

They were in the kitchen of 12 Grimmauld Place with Tonks standing up, distraught etched across her face as she had her hands slammed against the table. Remus calmly sat in a chair staring off into the distance, not even looking at her.

"Why are you shutting me out?"

"Why are you being so stubborn about this?" Remus looked to his left at the stove, avoiding all eye contact.

"Well none of this seemed to bother you a month ago when we confessed our feelings to each other that night."

"You're right, it didn't."

"I know bloody well I'm right!" she shrieked at his face, her hair firetruck red with anger, seemingly emitting a glow as a bonus.

"Dora-"

"It didn't bother you when we confessed our feelings, it didn't bother you the first time you kissed me outside of that muggle coffee shop, it didn't bother you the first night you came over to my flat and slept with me, it didn't bother you when we basically snuck around for a month, so why-"

"Dora-"

"Why does it bother you now? Why!"

Her face was streaked with tears as her body shook uncontrollably from anger. Or was it sadness? At this point her emotions were too muddled together and her brain too fuzzy to make out any difference. Remus still refused to look at her.

"WHY!"

Suddenly, Remus shot up from the chair, slamming his hands onto the table as well. "Because I was being selfish! I should've known better than to think that someone like me could live happily ever after like everyone else!"

"But you c-"

"No, I can't Tonks! I can't sink into my desires for love! It's bad enough I'm not generally accepted across the Wizarding World due to the prejudice against werewolves. I can't even hold a stable job. I'm lucky I even have people like the Order who can overlook what I am!"

"But-"

"And then I was stupid enough to give into my desires of love and romantic companionship when I knew I bloody well couldn't! I can't put you at risk like that!"

"Remus I don't care!"

"I know you don't, and that's what makes this hurt even more!"

He paused to catch his breath before continuing on in a more lower tone.

"Look...Tonks, you need someone around your own age. Someone who can keep a stable job so you'll never have to worry about money. Someone whose status and genealogy won't mark you as an outcast by association and ruin your social life. You need...you need to be with someone who isn't me."

Tonks stood there looking dumbfounded at him. Was he even hearing himself?

"Remus...we can figure this out. Together. You and me. I promise you I have never been more certain of anything in my life."

She walked around the table towards him, reaching out her hand to grab his and hold it. "Please, Remus, come to your senses. Please let me in."

Remus stared at his hand being held with her two smaller ones. He sighed and looked away before pulling his arm away from her.

"I don't love you, Nymphadora."

"Liar," she sneered with a nasty edge to her voice.

"Nymphadora, please-"

"How many times do I have to tell you not call me that-"

Remus suddenly grabbed her by the shoulders and stared her down. She could've sworn she saw the beast behind his eyes and felt herself sink a little bit.

"I have no desire to be with you anymore, Nymphadora Tonks. Now please, for both of us, please just go home."

Tonks felt herself shake a bit before yanking her arms from his grasp and slapping him across the face so hard the sound echoed into the hallway.

"Fuck you, Remus Lupin. Fuck you."

Grabbing her things, she took off from the kitchen leaving him standing there. She got out on the stoop and apparated away, tears streaming in her eyes.

Tonks gently lifted her head up, the dizziness overwhelming her, and hailed Tom over.

"Tonks, please, I implore that you don't drink anymore!"

"Don't worry, Tom," she slurred, "I-I just want the check."

Tom looked her up and down, before sighing and bringing her the check. She thanked him, and made to get up.

"Tonks."

"Mmmmyeah?"

"Please drink some water."

"Yeah yeah, I know."

Tom watched worriedly as she stumbled out of the bar. Tonks' mind was extremely fuzzy and she only had one clear thought to get to where she was going. She focused on that one semi-clear thought as she abruptly apparated.

She landed hard a grassy surface, cursing herself for thinking that apparating while drunk was a good idea, but it was the only way she could get to her destination. As her body adjusted, she felt a stinging sensation on her arm signaling that she may have splinched herself. She grumbled as she walked up the pathway to get to the house, gently holding her arm. Extremely dizzy at this point, she sat down on the front stoop, allowing her tears to fall once more. She would give anything right now for Sirius to be alive, to be there to comfort her and help out. She knew he would've given Remus an earful. He had rooted for them and trying to talk Remus into letting his guard down. Tonks let out tight sobs she had been holding in since she had started drinking at the beginning of the night.

"I talked to him, Tonks."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I'm trying my best. Don't worry, I'll get him to come around."

Tonks and Sirius were in Sirius' room, Tonks on the bed while Sirius stood up. She looked around at his boyhood dwelling decked out in Gryffindor paraphernalia, the half-naked posters of women that were permanently stuck on his wall as a protest to his mother, and the picture of him and his Marauder friends from their Hogwarts days; she found a young Remus quite the cutie pie.

"I don't know why I'm so drawn to him. All I know is that he's very appealing, and I don't care that he's not the most wealthiest wizard out there. I can be the breadwinner!"

"I know you don't care, Tonks," Sirius smirked as he came by and sat next to her on the bed, "It's him. He has all these..."worries"... that he's kept harbored ever since Fenrir Greyback attacked him. I keep trying to tell him that one day it wouldn't matter, but he never believes me. Keeps shoving me off. I mean I don't blame him though, he's been through way too much, especially after the war. But I think he's too hard on himself a lot of the times and doesn't allow himself to engorge in the finer pleasures of life. He needs a companion, preferably of the female variety."

"Plus I'm an Auror. I can assure you all we deal with worse things on a weekly basis than a rogue werewolf. I know how to defend myself and stay out of serious harm. We can't even really kill people; even if it's self-defense, we'd have to fill out an inquiry at work and be put on suspension while they review it. It's a lot of paperwork. The ministry prefers we bring them in alive so they can set trials for them."

"And you're a good duelist. I know you can put up a good fight."

"I could curse you off this bed right now."

"Don't push your luck."

They laughed at each other, Sirius throwing his head back as he shot out bark-like cackles while Tonks fell against his shoulder.

"I'll get him on lockdown for you."

"Promise?"

"Of course, and if he tries to resist, I'll hex him into oblivion."

Tonks chuckled some more as she positioned her head more into the crook between his shoulder and neck. "Thanks, Sirius."

"I'll always have your back. Just call on me whenever."

Her body shook with every sob she let out, eyes stinging and face wet with with tears as she rest her head against her legs. Stupid Remus. Stupid stupid Remus. Why did Sirius have to die? She needed him. She needed someone. Anyone. She was tired of burdening others with her rants of love.

"If you ever need me, I'm just an owl away. I'll always here, Nymphie."

She hadn't owled him in forever. The last time she had physically seen him was the summer a few weeks after their graduation from Hogwarts. She hadn't written to him ever since she first started training to become an auror. She didn't mean to, but they both had busy lives, not to mention that the owl worked both ways. She needed her best friend back. Tonks buried her head deeper into her legs as she continued to cry, and she was there for only a few moments longer until the front door opened, the light from inside flooded the stoop, and a warm, gentle hand grabbed her shoulder. She turned to looked up at the owner, her eyes extremely bloodshot.

"I-I-I'm sssssorry," she blubbered out in between a mix of a sob and a slur.

"You've been drinking your life away again, haven't you?"

Tonks sniffed and nodded.

"Come inside, dear, let's get you some tea and get you rehydrated." A hand reached out.

Wiping her tears, Tonks picked herself, took the hand, and allowed Molly to lead her inside the warm, comforting home.