He Who Fights With Monsters
By Thalia Drogna
*********************************************
Archer walked into sick bay to find that it was a hive of activity. T'Pol sat at one of the lab benches examining something under a microscope and Phlox was examining scans of the Vor Devrees. Various of Phlox's assistants could be seen moving between the two lab stations, hard at work helping with the research.
"Anything to report?" he asked Phlox.
"I am making progress as quickly as I can," replied the doctor. "I am generally unaccustomed to engineering viruses to disable ships, especially at such short notice. It is a very delicate and taxing task."
"I know I'm asking a lot, doctor, but this is still our best hope for getting out of this alive," said Archer.
"I am aware of that, Captain," replied Phlox in an irritated tone. "It will be at least another hour before we have something to test."
Archer knew when he wasn't wanted. "Okay, doctor, contact me as soon as you have something to report." A quick bit of mental arithmetic had told him what he needed to know, they wouldn't have a weapon ready before they engaged the Kriel.
T'Pol stood up from her stool as Archer turned to leave. "How are the preparations for the attack on the Vor Devrees progressing?"
"Okay. Our part in it is fairly simple, get within weapons range so that we can infect the Vor Devrees with Phlox's virus. Trip is sending us a squadron of Rel fighters to protect Enterprise, if we work with them we should be able to take out enough Vor fighters to even up the odds," said Archer. "I'm not sure that Trip can really spare a whole squadron of fighters, from what Malcolm said in his last report, but he insisted. Maybe he does still have some loyalty to Enterprise left after all."
"I have no doubt that he still has loyalty to Enterprise. But that has been overridden by his desire to protect the Tien. His personality seems to be at least partially intact. If he can protect us both then he will do so," said T'Pol.
"Well at least that's something," said Archer. "I'm beginning to wish to god we'd never stopped to help the Rel Sevanne."
"We cannot change the past," said T'Pol. "Regret helps no one. If what we have been told about the Vor Devrees is correct then our presence may be saving billions of lives."
"You don't believe that the Vor Devrees is from an alternate universe?" asked Archer.
"The Vulcan Science Directorate has been unable to find any evidence for the many universe theory, but they also have not been able to rule the possibility out completely. However most alternate universe theories state that the various realities cannot interact. The presence of the Kriel would invalidate that, if they truly do come from another universe," said T'Pol.
"Even if Trip lied to us and they don't come from an alternate universe they're still intent on attacking the Rel Sevanne and killing two thousand people, as well as Enterprise," said Archer.
"Is that the only reason that you elected to stay and help the Rel Sevanne?" asked T'Pol.
Archer gave T'Pol a look that she couldn't read. "I wish I could say that it was," said Archer. "It certainly was the main reason, I can't have the Vor Devrees coming after Enterprise while we're trying to track down the Xindi. But it would have felt wrong leaving Trip behind too. I just couldn't do it, T'Pol. He didn't want this, just because he doesn't know it, doesn't mean we should abandon him. But as Captain of Enterprise I can't and won't make decisions based on the safety of one man. If Trip was the only reason to stay we wouldn't still be here."
"You know that I have great respect for Commander Tucker. I am sure that Enterprise would suffer from the lack of his presence. I believe that it was the right decision to stay to help the Tien," said T'Pol.
"Thanks, T'Pol," said Archer, he really did appreciate her support in this, especially because he wasn't completely sure himself that he had made the right decision. It still might cost all of them their lives.
T'Pol gave a slight inclination of her head in acknowledgement of Archer's thanks. "I must return to my work," she said and turned back to her microscope.
"Sato to Archer," said the com.
"Archer here, go ahead Hoshi."
"We've detected a squadron of fighters approaching. The Rel Sevanne has launched its own fighters in reply. Lieutenant Reed has just checked in, his squadron has been assigned to provide forward protection to the Rel Sevanne. Second Squadron are to protect Enterprise. They're taking up position now. The Commander's name is Sun Neer Gen Tespin, Malcolm said to let you know that she's the Flight Commander," said Hoshi.
"So Trip sent us the best that he had," said Archer, to himself, he had to wonder if that meant there was hope of cutting through the Rel Sevanne's conditioning, but right now he couldn't think about that. "I'm on my way to the bridge, Hoshi. Let the Flight Commander know that we'll have our phase cannons ready to back her up. Tell Travis to get ready, we're going into battle."
"Yes, sir," said Hoshi.
****
Reed led his squadron of fighters away from the Rel Sevanne and towards the Vor Devrees. Their main purpose was to draw the fire away from the Tien ship. Although the Rel Sevanne had very powerful guns they weren't quick enough to cope with the nimble Vor fighters that zipped between the white towers of the Rel Sevanne. There was also the substantial risk now that the battle was underway that the guns might hit their own fighters. The guns could take out some of them but certainly not all so it was down to the Rel fighter squadrons to take out as many as they could before they could reach the Rel Sevanne.
Reed had been able to watch Enterprise move into position and see what an effective combination the starship made with the Rel fighters. He occasionally caught their com traffic as their sphere of engagement neared his own and they seemed to be holding off the Vor fighters successfully. Ensign Mayweather's piloting skills were superb as usual and he could have wished for him in his own Rel fighter squadron. He'd recommended that Ensign Hooper take the tactical station in his absence and she seemed to have been the right choice. However, he didn't have time to dwell on how Enterprise was faring, his own squadron had its hands full.
The Tien were good pilots, an easy match for the Kriel who obviously had simply expected their overwhelming numbers to win them the battle. They had outnumbered the Tien two to one when the battle had started but those odds were rapidly changing in their favour. Reed wasn't happy though, despite their vast numbers, Reed was fairly sure that there should have been more Vor fighters than there actually were. His suspicions were confirmed when another wave appeared as if from nowhere. They fell upon Reed's squadron like a pack of wolves and once again they were all fighting for their lives. The Tien stayed in formation, following their commander's lead.
"Elites," said Crin Ad. "The regular pilots couldn't take us down so they sent in the Elites."
"Less chatter, Crin Ad," said Reed. "Watch your partners and don't let your guard down for a second," he added to the rest of the squadron. "They're no tougher than the others."
He fixed one of the Vor fighters in his sights and fired, the enemy craft exploding in a reassuring ball of flame as if to prove Reed's point. He only had moments to enjoy the serendipity though as a loud alarm indicated that another Vor fighter had locked onto him. The Elites were definitely more disciplined than the ordinary fighters that they had been dealing with so far.
"You've got one on your tail, sir," said Crin Ad. "I'll try to pick it off."
"Much appreciated," said Reed to his wingman, dryly. He felt rather than saw Crin Ad fire at his attacker, she hit it but it wasn't on target and the Vor fighter wasn't damaged badly. Reed dodged left into the path of a second Vor fighter, he changed course again rapidly before the second fighter could get a lock on him. He watched his rear target sensors with slight amusement as he saw that his plan had worked, the first fighter slammed into the second. Neither were able to change course in time to avoid the collision, and a fire ball blossomed where the two craft had met in catastrophic style.
"That'll teach you to watch where you're going," he muttered under his breath. Reed wasn't able to gloat for long though, another fighter had picked up a lock on Crin Ad and he needed to get that fighter off her before she ended up as another statistic of this war. "Hold on, Crin Ad, I'm coming," said Reed as he turned his craft around and concentrated on getting a target lock on the attacking fighter.
"If you could hurry it up, sir," replied Crin Ad, her voice betraying her fear a little and Reed remembered just how young she was. Suddenly from his left another Rel fighter came screaming down towards Crin Ad's attacker.
"I got it, sister," he heard over the radio.
"Tran Est, get back into formation," he said to the young pilot, "I can deal with this."
"I'm nearer," replied Tran Est.
"You're out of formation," replied Reed. "Follow my orders and get back to where you're supposed to be." Tran Est ignored him though, locked on to the attacking Vor fighter and fired. The Vor fighter disintegrated in front of them, another one down.
"Thanks Tran," said Crin Ad with a sigh of relief.
"Tran Est where are you?" said a voice from one of the other Rel fighters. Reed knew it had to be Tran Est's partner, Fin Ror.
"I'm coming," said Tran "Just hang in there." But they never caught the reply, Fin Ror's Rel fighter was hit by one of the pursuing Vor fighters and twisted metal was all that remained by the time Tran Est arrived to save his partner. It was the squadron's first loss. Reed heard Tran Est mutter "no" several times and he knew this wasn't the time or place for recriminations. It wasn't Tran Est's fault, the only people to blame were the Kriel for putting them in the position where they had to send untrained children into battle. Tran Est certainly had the piloting skills to hold his own, what he did not have was maturity or the battle hardness to be able to leave his sister's defence in the hands of another.
"Tran," said Reed, deliberately using the form of his name that he had heard his sister use. "It wasn't your fault. We don't have time to mourn the dead now, put it to one side and we'll mourn him properly when this is all over. Right now I need you to focus on the task at hand. Can you do that?"
"Yes, sir," said a slightly more composed voice over the radio.
"Good, partner up with Crin Ad, but both of you can keep an eye on my tail too, understood?" he asked.
"Yes, sir," replied brother and sister. And Reed chastised himself for not thinking of that arrangement in the first place, but he hadn't foreseen the problem. He had forgotten that he was dealing with young pilots who had never fought in a real battle before. Simulations and training were one thing, the actuality of a real space battle was something else. Even the skirmishes with raiders which some of the pilots had participated in weren't preparation for something of the scale of this conflict. He cursed the Kriel once again for creating this situation that he now found himself in.
****
The main batteries of the Rel Sevanne seemed to be firing non-stop now. Nils Fen's men were manning the guns, picking off any stray fighters which escaped the cordon of Rel fighters that surrounded the Tien mother-ship. Trip kept watch over the targets, his sensors feeling out into space to pick up targets as early as possible and prevent them from slipping past their defences. The Tien security forces were prepared to deal with boarders but they all knew that if the battle reached that stage then the Rel Sevanne was lost.
"Forward batteries, I've got a squadron of Vor fighters approaching fast," said Trip. He briefly checked in with the Squadron Leaders, but they all confirmed that they couldn't break off the fight in their area, the attackers were too numerous. "We don't have any Rel fighters in the area, they're all tied up elsewhere, so it's up to us."
He heard a chorus of "yes Patriarch" from the forward battery and then his sensors detected the satisfying feeling of target locks being acquired. The Tien opened fire on the Vor fighters and about half of the wave fell before they could get within weapons range. The fighters were quick though and some managed to get through. The Tien continued to fire but watched helplessly as laser discharge raked the hull of the Rel Sevanne and Trip felt fire course along his veins. It was like someone had just dripped acid on his skin. Damn, that hurts, he thought and did his best to push the pain to the back of his mind, he was pretty sure that there was worse to come.
After the third attack run found its target, he decided that he needed to do something. "Shar Jen," he called. She was down in the engine room doing her best to keep everything running while they were under attack. "I need you to disconnect the outer sensors on part of the hull."
Shar Jen heard the pain in his voice even though he was trying to hide it. "We've been hit?" she asked. "Is it bad?"
"No, no important systems damaged, it just stings," he lied. "But if anything big hits us, I can't afford to be distracted. It's just the tactile sensors that you need to disconnect, everything else I still need. I can't do it from here, something got hit in the last run and the junction I need isn't responding." Even so it was going to feel like he'd lost one of his senses and he wasn't relishing the prospect of losing one of the faculties that he'd come to rely on for monitoring the ship's condition. He wouldn't be able to feel if there was a hull breach or the level of damage caused, but he needed to focus his attention on the battle.
"Okay, just give me a minute to get to the junction," said Shar Jen, she grabbed her tool box and ran out of engineering towards the section she needed. She found the panel that she wanted and ripped off the covering to reveal the internal workings of the ship. "By the Goddess," she said with feeling.
"What's the problem?" asked Trip.
"It's a fused mess in here. That last blast must have caused a cascade that fed back through the entire system. I can turn it all off or nothing," said Shar Jen.
"I'll be blind if you do that," said Trip. "I need the sensors to detect the Vor fighters."
"Perhaps I can repair enough of it, maybe re-route the rest..." began Shar Jen.
"It's going to take hours to repair all of that. Forget it, I'll just have to put up with it hurting," said Trip
"Trip En, you can't. Let me turn them off," said Shar Jen, reaching to pull out the fused optical fibres and cables.
"Jen," said Trip, gently. "You have to let me do my job."
"En, you're in pain. I can't let you do this to yourself," said Shar Jen.
"You have to. This is why I'm here," said Trip. "I know what you're feeling, but you can't let it get in the way. You have to let me protect the Tien."
Shar Jen looked at the mass of destroyed electronics and closed her eyes. It was so hard. "For my people," she said. A tear slid slowly down her cheek and she brushed it away, angry at herself for giving in to her emotions when so much was at stake. "For the Tien," she said more strongly and replaced the panel. "As soon as this is over I'll have that junction completely replaced."
"Now you're behaving like the Artificer of the Rel Sevanne," said Trip.
"I need to get back to the engine room," said Shar Jen. "Let me know if you need me for anything else." Trip could still feel her sorrow and worry and love for him, but she was doing a good job of controlling it now, it had all been buried under a new emotion, determination.
****
By Thalia Drogna
*********************************************
Archer walked into sick bay to find that it was a hive of activity. T'Pol sat at one of the lab benches examining something under a microscope and Phlox was examining scans of the Vor Devrees. Various of Phlox's assistants could be seen moving between the two lab stations, hard at work helping with the research.
"Anything to report?" he asked Phlox.
"I am making progress as quickly as I can," replied the doctor. "I am generally unaccustomed to engineering viruses to disable ships, especially at such short notice. It is a very delicate and taxing task."
"I know I'm asking a lot, doctor, but this is still our best hope for getting out of this alive," said Archer.
"I am aware of that, Captain," replied Phlox in an irritated tone. "It will be at least another hour before we have something to test."
Archer knew when he wasn't wanted. "Okay, doctor, contact me as soon as you have something to report." A quick bit of mental arithmetic had told him what he needed to know, they wouldn't have a weapon ready before they engaged the Kriel.
T'Pol stood up from her stool as Archer turned to leave. "How are the preparations for the attack on the Vor Devrees progressing?"
"Okay. Our part in it is fairly simple, get within weapons range so that we can infect the Vor Devrees with Phlox's virus. Trip is sending us a squadron of Rel fighters to protect Enterprise, if we work with them we should be able to take out enough Vor fighters to even up the odds," said Archer. "I'm not sure that Trip can really spare a whole squadron of fighters, from what Malcolm said in his last report, but he insisted. Maybe he does still have some loyalty to Enterprise left after all."
"I have no doubt that he still has loyalty to Enterprise. But that has been overridden by his desire to protect the Tien. His personality seems to be at least partially intact. If he can protect us both then he will do so," said T'Pol.
"Well at least that's something," said Archer. "I'm beginning to wish to god we'd never stopped to help the Rel Sevanne."
"We cannot change the past," said T'Pol. "Regret helps no one. If what we have been told about the Vor Devrees is correct then our presence may be saving billions of lives."
"You don't believe that the Vor Devrees is from an alternate universe?" asked Archer.
"The Vulcan Science Directorate has been unable to find any evidence for the many universe theory, but they also have not been able to rule the possibility out completely. However most alternate universe theories state that the various realities cannot interact. The presence of the Kriel would invalidate that, if they truly do come from another universe," said T'Pol.
"Even if Trip lied to us and they don't come from an alternate universe they're still intent on attacking the Rel Sevanne and killing two thousand people, as well as Enterprise," said Archer.
"Is that the only reason that you elected to stay and help the Rel Sevanne?" asked T'Pol.
Archer gave T'Pol a look that she couldn't read. "I wish I could say that it was," said Archer. "It certainly was the main reason, I can't have the Vor Devrees coming after Enterprise while we're trying to track down the Xindi. But it would have felt wrong leaving Trip behind too. I just couldn't do it, T'Pol. He didn't want this, just because he doesn't know it, doesn't mean we should abandon him. But as Captain of Enterprise I can't and won't make decisions based on the safety of one man. If Trip was the only reason to stay we wouldn't still be here."
"You know that I have great respect for Commander Tucker. I am sure that Enterprise would suffer from the lack of his presence. I believe that it was the right decision to stay to help the Tien," said T'Pol.
"Thanks, T'Pol," said Archer, he really did appreciate her support in this, especially because he wasn't completely sure himself that he had made the right decision. It still might cost all of them their lives.
T'Pol gave a slight inclination of her head in acknowledgement of Archer's thanks. "I must return to my work," she said and turned back to her microscope.
"Sato to Archer," said the com.
"Archer here, go ahead Hoshi."
"We've detected a squadron of fighters approaching. The Rel Sevanne has launched its own fighters in reply. Lieutenant Reed has just checked in, his squadron has been assigned to provide forward protection to the Rel Sevanne. Second Squadron are to protect Enterprise. They're taking up position now. The Commander's name is Sun Neer Gen Tespin, Malcolm said to let you know that she's the Flight Commander," said Hoshi.
"So Trip sent us the best that he had," said Archer, to himself, he had to wonder if that meant there was hope of cutting through the Rel Sevanne's conditioning, but right now he couldn't think about that. "I'm on my way to the bridge, Hoshi. Let the Flight Commander know that we'll have our phase cannons ready to back her up. Tell Travis to get ready, we're going into battle."
"Yes, sir," said Hoshi.
****
Reed led his squadron of fighters away from the Rel Sevanne and towards the Vor Devrees. Their main purpose was to draw the fire away from the Tien ship. Although the Rel Sevanne had very powerful guns they weren't quick enough to cope with the nimble Vor fighters that zipped between the white towers of the Rel Sevanne. There was also the substantial risk now that the battle was underway that the guns might hit their own fighters. The guns could take out some of them but certainly not all so it was down to the Rel fighter squadrons to take out as many as they could before they could reach the Rel Sevanne.
Reed had been able to watch Enterprise move into position and see what an effective combination the starship made with the Rel fighters. He occasionally caught their com traffic as their sphere of engagement neared his own and they seemed to be holding off the Vor fighters successfully. Ensign Mayweather's piloting skills were superb as usual and he could have wished for him in his own Rel fighter squadron. He'd recommended that Ensign Hooper take the tactical station in his absence and she seemed to have been the right choice. However, he didn't have time to dwell on how Enterprise was faring, his own squadron had its hands full.
The Tien were good pilots, an easy match for the Kriel who obviously had simply expected their overwhelming numbers to win them the battle. They had outnumbered the Tien two to one when the battle had started but those odds were rapidly changing in their favour. Reed wasn't happy though, despite their vast numbers, Reed was fairly sure that there should have been more Vor fighters than there actually were. His suspicions were confirmed when another wave appeared as if from nowhere. They fell upon Reed's squadron like a pack of wolves and once again they were all fighting for their lives. The Tien stayed in formation, following their commander's lead.
"Elites," said Crin Ad. "The regular pilots couldn't take us down so they sent in the Elites."
"Less chatter, Crin Ad," said Reed. "Watch your partners and don't let your guard down for a second," he added to the rest of the squadron. "They're no tougher than the others."
He fixed one of the Vor fighters in his sights and fired, the enemy craft exploding in a reassuring ball of flame as if to prove Reed's point. He only had moments to enjoy the serendipity though as a loud alarm indicated that another Vor fighter had locked onto him. The Elites were definitely more disciplined than the ordinary fighters that they had been dealing with so far.
"You've got one on your tail, sir," said Crin Ad. "I'll try to pick it off."
"Much appreciated," said Reed to his wingman, dryly. He felt rather than saw Crin Ad fire at his attacker, she hit it but it wasn't on target and the Vor fighter wasn't damaged badly. Reed dodged left into the path of a second Vor fighter, he changed course again rapidly before the second fighter could get a lock on him. He watched his rear target sensors with slight amusement as he saw that his plan had worked, the first fighter slammed into the second. Neither were able to change course in time to avoid the collision, and a fire ball blossomed where the two craft had met in catastrophic style.
"That'll teach you to watch where you're going," he muttered under his breath. Reed wasn't able to gloat for long though, another fighter had picked up a lock on Crin Ad and he needed to get that fighter off her before she ended up as another statistic of this war. "Hold on, Crin Ad, I'm coming," said Reed as he turned his craft around and concentrated on getting a target lock on the attacking fighter.
"If you could hurry it up, sir," replied Crin Ad, her voice betraying her fear a little and Reed remembered just how young she was. Suddenly from his left another Rel fighter came screaming down towards Crin Ad's attacker.
"I got it, sister," he heard over the radio.
"Tran Est, get back into formation," he said to the young pilot, "I can deal with this."
"I'm nearer," replied Tran Est.
"You're out of formation," replied Reed. "Follow my orders and get back to where you're supposed to be." Tran Est ignored him though, locked on to the attacking Vor fighter and fired. The Vor fighter disintegrated in front of them, another one down.
"Thanks Tran," said Crin Ad with a sigh of relief.
"Tran Est where are you?" said a voice from one of the other Rel fighters. Reed knew it had to be Tran Est's partner, Fin Ror.
"I'm coming," said Tran "Just hang in there." But they never caught the reply, Fin Ror's Rel fighter was hit by one of the pursuing Vor fighters and twisted metal was all that remained by the time Tran Est arrived to save his partner. It was the squadron's first loss. Reed heard Tran Est mutter "no" several times and he knew this wasn't the time or place for recriminations. It wasn't Tran Est's fault, the only people to blame were the Kriel for putting them in the position where they had to send untrained children into battle. Tran Est certainly had the piloting skills to hold his own, what he did not have was maturity or the battle hardness to be able to leave his sister's defence in the hands of another.
"Tran," said Reed, deliberately using the form of his name that he had heard his sister use. "It wasn't your fault. We don't have time to mourn the dead now, put it to one side and we'll mourn him properly when this is all over. Right now I need you to focus on the task at hand. Can you do that?"
"Yes, sir," said a slightly more composed voice over the radio.
"Good, partner up with Crin Ad, but both of you can keep an eye on my tail too, understood?" he asked.
"Yes, sir," replied brother and sister. And Reed chastised himself for not thinking of that arrangement in the first place, but he hadn't foreseen the problem. He had forgotten that he was dealing with young pilots who had never fought in a real battle before. Simulations and training were one thing, the actuality of a real space battle was something else. Even the skirmishes with raiders which some of the pilots had participated in weren't preparation for something of the scale of this conflict. He cursed the Kriel once again for creating this situation that he now found himself in.
****
The main batteries of the Rel Sevanne seemed to be firing non-stop now. Nils Fen's men were manning the guns, picking off any stray fighters which escaped the cordon of Rel fighters that surrounded the Tien mother-ship. Trip kept watch over the targets, his sensors feeling out into space to pick up targets as early as possible and prevent them from slipping past their defences. The Tien security forces were prepared to deal with boarders but they all knew that if the battle reached that stage then the Rel Sevanne was lost.
"Forward batteries, I've got a squadron of Vor fighters approaching fast," said Trip. He briefly checked in with the Squadron Leaders, but they all confirmed that they couldn't break off the fight in their area, the attackers were too numerous. "We don't have any Rel fighters in the area, they're all tied up elsewhere, so it's up to us."
He heard a chorus of "yes Patriarch" from the forward battery and then his sensors detected the satisfying feeling of target locks being acquired. The Tien opened fire on the Vor fighters and about half of the wave fell before they could get within weapons range. The fighters were quick though and some managed to get through. The Tien continued to fire but watched helplessly as laser discharge raked the hull of the Rel Sevanne and Trip felt fire course along his veins. It was like someone had just dripped acid on his skin. Damn, that hurts, he thought and did his best to push the pain to the back of his mind, he was pretty sure that there was worse to come.
After the third attack run found its target, he decided that he needed to do something. "Shar Jen," he called. She was down in the engine room doing her best to keep everything running while they were under attack. "I need you to disconnect the outer sensors on part of the hull."
Shar Jen heard the pain in his voice even though he was trying to hide it. "We've been hit?" she asked. "Is it bad?"
"No, no important systems damaged, it just stings," he lied. "But if anything big hits us, I can't afford to be distracted. It's just the tactile sensors that you need to disconnect, everything else I still need. I can't do it from here, something got hit in the last run and the junction I need isn't responding." Even so it was going to feel like he'd lost one of his senses and he wasn't relishing the prospect of losing one of the faculties that he'd come to rely on for monitoring the ship's condition. He wouldn't be able to feel if there was a hull breach or the level of damage caused, but he needed to focus his attention on the battle.
"Okay, just give me a minute to get to the junction," said Shar Jen, she grabbed her tool box and ran out of engineering towards the section she needed. She found the panel that she wanted and ripped off the covering to reveal the internal workings of the ship. "By the Goddess," she said with feeling.
"What's the problem?" asked Trip.
"It's a fused mess in here. That last blast must have caused a cascade that fed back through the entire system. I can turn it all off or nothing," said Shar Jen.
"I'll be blind if you do that," said Trip. "I need the sensors to detect the Vor fighters."
"Perhaps I can repair enough of it, maybe re-route the rest..." began Shar Jen.
"It's going to take hours to repair all of that. Forget it, I'll just have to put up with it hurting," said Trip
"Trip En, you can't. Let me turn them off," said Shar Jen, reaching to pull out the fused optical fibres and cables.
"Jen," said Trip, gently. "You have to let me do my job."
"En, you're in pain. I can't let you do this to yourself," said Shar Jen.
"You have to. This is why I'm here," said Trip. "I know what you're feeling, but you can't let it get in the way. You have to let me protect the Tien."
Shar Jen looked at the mass of destroyed electronics and closed her eyes. It was so hard. "For my people," she said. A tear slid slowly down her cheek and she brushed it away, angry at herself for giving in to her emotions when so much was at stake. "For the Tien," she said more strongly and replaced the panel. "As soon as this is over I'll have that junction completely replaced."
"Now you're behaving like the Artificer of the Rel Sevanne," said Trip.
"I need to get back to the engine room," said Shar Jen. "Let me know if you need me for anything else." Trip could still feel her sorrow and worry and love for him, but she was doing a good job of controlling it now, it had all been buried under a new emotion, determination.
****