Not What You See
A/N: Just to let you know, the next two chapters are continuations of the lyrics of Hero. I decided that peeps needed to know some more stuff about Saadii and Leif.
DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. Duh.
LYRICS: Verse 2 and chorus of Hero, Superchic[k]
Chapter 8: Heroes - Saadii's Dream
No one talks to her, she feels so alone
She's in too much pain to survive on her own
"But why are you sending Kai away?" 9-year-old Saadii wailed as Joshua Hita swung her brother's duffel bag into the trunk of the car. "Kai, stay here with me!"
"We just can't keep Kai anymore, Saadii." Ashley Hita told her as the car drove off. "He's too dangerous."
"No, he's not!" Saadii screamed, trying to escape Ashley's grasp to run after the car taking her brother away from her. "KAI!!!"
"You did so well in the concert tonight, Saadii," Julius Anaka told his 12-year-old foster daughter as the family left Nagasaki Academy. "I am really proud of you. That was a beautiful poem."
"Thanks," Saadii said quietly. She had been unusually quiet ever since the beginning of the month, when her teacher had come out with a family project. When she had asked the teacher what she should be doing, the teacher told her to do whatever she wanted.
"What was that all about, though?" 13-year-old Hilaire Aikotama asked. "I kind of lost it after the first verse."
"You couldn't tell?" 19-year-old Kamal Ringo asked. "It was really obvious. You were talking about your brother, right?"
Saadii nodded silently.
"It was a pretty-sounding poem!" 6-year-old Kalika Ren said cheerfully, skipping alongside the rest of the family. "And Diahann's song was pretty too!"
"Yes, a lovely song, Diahann." Gwendolyn Anaka said.
12-year-old Diahann Tiriku blushed.
The next day at school, the moment the school bus had let the kids off at the Academy, Hilaire and Diahann both ditched Saadii and Kalika got swept off to the younger children's end.
Trying to push down the feelings of abandonment and despair, Saadii sat down against the fence in the field, opening up her notebook to a blank page and starting to write.
The hurt she can't handle overflows to a knife
She writes on her arm wants to give up her life
Saadii was finally alone in the house. Everybody else was away at different extracurricular activities: Kalika at gymnastics, Diahann at piano, Hilaire at the mall. Julius, Gwendolyn and Kamal had an over-18 party to attend.
The monumental silence of the house was unnerving and Saadii put on her favourite CD and upped the volume about three notches higher than she normally would have liked it. She opened up her notebook and took out a pencil, but no inspiration came to her. Just the overwhelming sensation of loneliness and despondency. The pain was terrifying and Saadii thought that it would pop her open like an overblown balloon.
Dully, Saadii noticed that Kamal had left his pocket knife lying out on the table. Picking it up, she methodically placed slices across her arms, smiling slightly as the long-repressed emotional pain seemed to evaporate in place of the immediate physical pain.
Each day she goes on is a day that she's brave
Fighting the lie that giving up is the way
Each moment of courage her own life she saves
When she throws the pills out, a hero is made
"I just don't understand why you did this, Saadii," Gwendolyn told her foster daughter tearfully as she hugged her tightly. "Why didn't you tell us sooner?"
"I don't want to do this anymore, Gwen," 14-year-old Saadii cried, burying her face in Gwendolyn's shoulder. "I don't want to hurt anymore, but he's there in my dreams and I can't get away and nobody understands except Kai but Kai's not here and I don't know where he is and—"
"Ssh, ssh, ssh." Gwendolyn whispered, gently soothing the hysterical girl and silent tears running down her face as she watched the handful of sleeping pills slowly disintegrate in the water.
"It hurts, Gwen, make it stop." Saadii sobbed. "He hurt me, Gwen, make him go away."
Heroes are made when you make a choice
"Go, Saadii, go!" Kai yelled, stumbling over a rock in the path. "Head for Tokyo! I'll catch up with you later!"
"No, Kai!" 15-year-old Saadii screamed, even as she disappeared into the forest dividing the Kurasu property from the highway. "Kai, come on! I won't leave you! I can't leave you!"
"Saadii, GO! I swear, I'll be fine!"
Crying, Saadii emerged onto the side of the highway as the enraged voice of her stepfather started yelling and Kai's protests reached her ears.
You could be a hero - heroes do what's right
You could be a hero - you might save a life
You could be a hero - you could join the fight
For what's right, for what's right, for what's right
"Saadii, what's wrong?" Regine asked, coming into the girl's room.
Saadii had woken up with a scream and was sitting up in bed breathing quickly and heavily. Tears were streaming down her face and she looked ready to fall apart at the slightest touch. She looked up as Regine entered and managed, "N—n—nothing, Regine. Just a nightmare."
"Musta been one heck of a nightmare," Max's sleepy voice came from the doorway.
"Max! Go back to bed," Regine reprimanded.
"Sorry, did I wake you up?" Saadii asked contritely.
"Wake up screaming like the devil, you're bound to wake somebody up." Max answered semi-sarcastically before wandering back upstairs.
Saadii rubbed a hand over her eyes absently, causing the long sleeve of her pajama top to fall down to her elbow, exposing the long, ugly scars imprinted on her forearm: some Kurasu-inflicted, some self-inflicted, others completely by accident.
Regine took one look and nearly exploded with anger at this mysterious Kurasu who had done so much harm in these teens in so little time. She didn't even need to ask Saadii how those had happened because she knew that, like the pitiful explanation she had wrangled out of Kai a few nights ago, if he hadn't done those, the harm he had caused had made her do those herself.