Our spoof's up! It's on our author's page. Read it. Please? We'll love you forever if you do!

Oh, they joys of Thanksgiving. My mum went to bed. I decided to be the good child and set the table 'with' my brother, like my father asked. Of course, it was about that time that my father realized that we don't have any cranberry sauce. So he left on a quest to find a convenience store carrying cranberry sauce open at 7:00 pm on Thanksgiving. I wish him luck with that. It's never going to happen. Of course I ended up setting the table by myself, while my brother wasted electricity, turned the oven light on, and stared at the turkey. He really scares me sometimes. So after I was done, I decided to come down and update, because if I fell asleep, I didn't think I'd ever wake up again.

This chapters Jack quote being, um, oh, right.

"No. I expect to leave you standing on some beach with absolutely no name at all, watching me sail away on my ship and then I'll shout the name back to you. Savvy?"

Reviewers:

Szhismine; Yay! It's really Thanksgiving this time! I love Jade in that part, just because she's so come. Drives Jack mad. Such fun. And Norrington is nice. Who'd a thunkit possible?

LuvlyGRLofLIFE: Nope, we're Canadian. Go us! It's okay. I'm slow too. VERY slow. I'm so slow... oh shit, I forget how it goes. There was something really funny, but my mind is literally asleep right now, so I can't remember what it is. Yeah, you have Veteran's Day the same day we have Remembrance Day. Mmmm... sleep... sleep is nice.

Ginny-Star: Don't hurt us! We didn't wait THAT long to update. And we made it alright, right?

Lenore Raven: We're sorry for scaring you. Although you have to admit, it DID fit with story. And we didn't actually let anything happen to them. And don't worry. We're doing everything humanly possible to drag on this fic as long as we can. You think you're going to cry when it's done? We'll be bawling our eyes out. It's so much fun. So it'll be going on and on and on... something like the energizer bunny.

Someone:): We kept him in character? Hurrah! My biggest concern is always that our characters aren't in character. It's pretty easy with Jack (Turner) and Jade, seeing as how, you know, they're OUR characters. And the minor-y characters like Anamaria you get more creative license. But I'm always terrified that our Jack isn't, well, Jack enough, savvy? Anyway, I'm glad we brightened your day. I'll whisper laugh with you. We always knew Will wasn't a eunuch. How could he be? He's too gorgeous.

Bratprincess: They DID say plundering already. I think they were just running out of pirate crimes. Nope, the stories not near the end... well, I don't think... not for awhile anyway, and I have no idea what I'm saying because I'm mentally exhausted (my mind's asleep but my hands just keep on typing) so I'm going to stop now.

Harrypotter4ever: Stupid bloody characters. They're just so damned hard to kill. Oh yes, my theory about Johnny Depp. What is it again? Oh, right. I think he's an elf. Like from Lord of the Rings, except it was real, and they kept on living, but nobody knows about it. Okay, so maybe I don't REALLY believe that (not completely anyway, it's kind of cool to imagine) but I think if they HAD, then Johnny Depp is an elf. Because, well actually I can't remember all the reasons right now. But I know one is because he looks so young for his age, even though he smokes, which should make him age MORE.

*

The next afternoon, Elizabeth was feeling decidedly better. She sat on deck with her husband, her son, her son's fiancée, and her son's fiancée's father.

"Where do you propose to have your wedding?" she asked sweetly, smirking as Jack Sparrow looked sick.

"The Pearl," Jade announced decidedly.

Her fiancée laughed. "That sounds fine to me."

"Sure, why not? Marry my bloody daughter on my bloody ship. Go right ahead," Jack Sparrow muttered darkly.

"Oh thank you, Daddy," Jade said. "I was hoping you would be alright with it."

"Dammit." Jack reached for the even-more-present-than-usual rum bottle.

"There's a slight problem," Will pointed out. "Where do you plan to find a minister that will marry a pirate? On a boat, no less."

"Ship," Jack corrected absently.

Jade's face fell. "I hadn't thought of that," she admitted. "I s'pose we'll have to hold it on land. And I'll have to pretend to be a proper lady." She looked ill at the thought, and her father sighed.

"I suppose, if we have to do this, we should do it the way you'd like."

"What are you talking about?" Jade asked, as they all turned to look at him.

"D'you remember how one of my crimes was impersonation of a cleric?"

"Yes."

"Well it was not, in fact, impersonation, as it were." Jack had an odd look on his face, something of a fond recollection.

"Daddy, are you telling me you're a minister?"

"Something like that, yeah."

"So please share with us, Captain Sparrow, how on earth YOU managed to become a minister of the Church of England," Elizabeth requested. Jack's eyes narrowed slightly.

"I'm not sure, exactly... it involved rum... lots of rum... and a girl, I think."

"Dad, EVERYTHING you do involves rum and a girl."

"You shut your mouth."

His request was ignored. "Why didn't you ever tell me?"

"Well think about it! An ordained pirate? It doesn't exactly invoke fear."

"Why not? You could give the last rites to all the men you killed. In fact, had you kept up with your ordained rites, you could have given me a proper education, as opposed to- what would you call the education I received?"

"A damn fine one, now shut up!" her father ordered. Jade smirked at him.

"You know, in a few days you'll have even less control over me than you did to begin with. I'll... belong... to another man and-"

"Dammit!" Jack cried, rising to his feet. "Why d'you have to keep reminding me?" He walked off, drinking from his rum bottle as he went.

"S'cuse me," Jade muttered, going after him. "Daddy?" she asked rather tentatively when they were a safe distance from the others.

"What?" he asked, turning to her. "Have you come to remind me yet again that in a very short while I will be losing my only daughter?"

"No," she answered. "I didn't think I'd upset you so much." Jack stared at her, raising an eyebrow. Jade took a deep breath, thinking carefully before she spoke again. "Daddy, if it's really bothering you this much... I won't marry Jack if you really don't want me to."

He smiled at her. "Really?" She nodded miserably. "Jade, come here." Jack put an arm around his daughter, leading her to the helm. "Darling, the gods- honest truth is that I don't want you to get married. It doesn't matter to whom. It could be the bloody king of Spain. I still wouldn't want you to marry said person. You're my baby girl, my only girl. You are far more important to me than any treasure will ever be, and I don't want to lose you, savvy?" Jade nodded, watching him curiously. "But even more important to me than keeping you, is seeing you happy. Because when you're happy, I'm happy... more or less. The point is, I WANT you to marry Jack."

"Really?"

"Have I ever lied to you?"

"Yes."

"About anything important?"

Jade grinned at him. "No."

"Good. Now that we've got that all cleared up, I'm going to let you in on a little secret."

"What's that?"

"That young love of yours is soon to have a wee little sibling chasing about after him."

"THAT'S why Elizabeth's been so sick?"

"Yes." Jade laughed. "And don't even THINK about... you know... going with him and... that and... no."

"Of course not, Daddy."

*

The next day Jack Turner sat in the main cabin, Jade's head resting in his lap. Jack Sparrow lounged across the room, rolling his eyes at their insufferable cuteness and drinking his rum avidly. Will and Elizabeth entered the room, Will holding Elizabeth's hand tightly.

"Jack, darling, we have something to tell you," Elizabeth said.

Jack Sparrow looked up from his rum bottle. "And what would that be, love?"

"Not you."

Jack looked hurt for a moment, and then returned to his rum. "Oh."

"What is it?" Jack asked, looking at his parents.

"Jack, your mother is going to have another baby."

"But... how?"

"Good God Will! You've gone and got yourself a eunuch for a son. Well, as long as he's with my junior strumpet, I don't mind in the least."

"I don't think he's talking about that, father. And trust me, he's not a eunuch."

"And how would you know?"

Jade grinned as Turner struggled to keep the blush from colouring his cheeks.

"I'll kill you!"

"Jack, that's my son!"

"He touched my baby girl! Besides, you got another one coming. Maybe I oughta get rid of that one as well- we've seen the consequences of YOUR children."

"Father! Shut up!" Jade's voice echoed to the top of the high-raftered ceiling, startling the quarrelling occupants into silence. "You are upsetting Elizabeth, which she most certainly doesn't deserve. And as far as the other thing goes, everything I know I learned from seeing you in Tortuga. Shouldn't you be happy that it's Jack and not someone like... like..." she paused, trying to think of the right (or rather, wrong) person. "Mara!" she exclaimed.

"Why did you have to bring HIM into this, he has nothing to..." Jack's voice trailed off, as his eyes widened in shock and fear. "DOES he have something to do with this? Did... did he touch you? Jesus Christ, I'll kill him!"

"Mara was a perfect gentleman- apart from trying to kill me, of course. He even gave me a cabin, as opposed to a cell. I got out of my bonds, and I was fine after that, savvy?" She paused, smirking slightly at her father. "In any case, he's already dead."

"Didn't stop Barbossa," Will muttered from his seat next to Elizabeth.

"What was that father?" Jack Turner questioned facetiously, a grin replacing the scared puppy dog look he had.

"I don't believe I said anything at all. Other than the fact that we're very proud of the man you've become. You've made a very wise choice in following you heart, and we wanted to let you know that we support you. Both of you."

"I want to invite Norrington."

Silence descended. Four heads swiveled to stare at the one who had spoken.

"What?"